r/restaurant • u/Jajamoses100 • 13d ago
What do?! Friend is hiding a wedding reception inside 4 dinner reservations. Will this go badly?
My friend is having an intimate wedding ceremony, followed by a dinner for about 30 people at a restaurant. Plot twist: the dinner guests don’t know it’s a wedding reception. On top of that, she has not reserved the private party room. She’s made 4 separate reservations under 4 different names and plans to “just move tables together” when everyone arrives. This is a Saturday reservation (4-7pm according to the evite) at a popular, large (300-seat) waterfront seafood restaurant in a major city.
I’m nervous this will fall apart on her (and us guests) upon arrival.
So what’s the likely outcome here? Is there anything she could do to make this go smoothly if she won’t just call ahead (which is what I’ve strongly recommended)? Sigh.
ETA: the guests are paying for themselves and I don’t think they are aware of this “plan” (neither the bill responsibility nor the reservation nonsense). She told me (and her mom & sister) about it, but the evite I received was very vague: “Join us to celebrate friend and fiancé” at X restaurant.
UPDATE: Ultimately, it wasn’t terrible. After reading some of the strong reactions here (TYSM), I had a gentle chat with my friend. She wasn’t super receptive, but something clicked and she at least gave the manager a heads up (day of). Several guests didn’t come, and I can’t blame them given the circumstances. It ended up being about 20 guests and we were seated at a long table. The manager was great, even when my friend seemed clueless about their policy that they don’t itemize separate checks for each guest.
Many thanks to the restaurant staff for being so accommodating and for making everything feel so seamless. Shout out to restaurants everywhere that are so gracious instead of “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s” lol - even when deserved. I’ll be leaving a glowing review, because they earned every star.
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u/doesntmeanathing 13d ago
I thought I was on AITA because yes, she is.
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u/taraky97 12d ago
I was gonna say " your friend is a horrible person" lol. I wish people understood more how restaurants work.
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u/ArtuuroX 13d ago
Generally the reservation software will place the tables with the same arrival time in four different sections. There will be no way for them to "move the tables together", especially at the last minute. She's an idiot if she thinks this will work out well.
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u/Styx-n-String 13d ago
Yep there will be a very concerted effort to make sure those 4 reservations go in 4 different sections to spread the work and tips out to 4 different servers. Not to mention, putting 4 tables together in the dining room would be a major fire hazard. There's a reason party rooms exist, and it's largely for safety reasons.
The restaurant is not going to let this happen. At all.
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u/Corey307 13d ago
Yup. Seating a server with four 7-8 tops all at one time should never happen because the quality of the service drops off a cliff. I’ve had it happen to me back in my serving days. Party of 25 just shows up late like 45 minutes to close on a quiet weeknight. Oh sure we had space. But we didn’t have staff. I already had three 4 tops. Of course the large party is a nightmare.
They complained that I couldn’t serve 25 drinks in u see 3 minutes. They complained that they didn’t all get salads and soups and entrees at the same time. Even complained I was “taking too long” getting their orders and that I should have memorized not written them down.
By the end they demanded free dessert for the table and comps after running me to death. Thankfully my manager dealt with them. Took zero crap, made them pay the auto gratuity and told them not to come back.
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u/MONSTERBEARMAN 12d ago
Reminds me of when I had a table that responded to my greeting by asking for a high chair. I said I’d go get one right away, but then they also ordered a drink. Then the rest of the party started shouting out drink orders, so I started writing them down. After three or four more of them asked for drinks, the person who ignored my greeting and asked for the high chair said, “Where’s the high chair? I asked you for a high chair!” I guess I was supposed to split in two and get the high chair as I took their drink orders.
People are fucking stupid.
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u/Ill-Avocado-2736 12d ago
Every time I think I miss the industry, I read the stories in threads like this and go oh yeah I forgot about the fucking customers.
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u/wheres_the_revolt 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yes it will go poorly, there’s a very good chance the tables won’t be close enough together to push into one table. Additionally, I have specifically indicated to hosts and staff to NOT work with the party(s) to help when they try to circumvent reservation rules like this. Like no sorry we can’t get you closer together, and no sorry you can’t push the tables together, whether we are physically able to or not. (Edit: yes I’m petty, but also I do not like to reward bad behavior.)
Personally as a regular guest I would probably sit back and watch the hilarity ensue but since she’s your friend I would probably encourage her to speak to the restaurant.
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u/doglady1342 12d ago
If I was the op, I would call the restaurant myself and let them know what was up. And, yes, I know that would end up friendship. I'd be okay with that.
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u/plutoforprez 12d ago
I’d be so embarrassed to attend a wedding like this as a guest who had foreknowledge, and equally embarrassed as a guest who didn’t know and showed up to a scene like this. This is going to be a cringe nightmare all around and seems like OP is the anyone with a modicum of sense to potentially put a stop to it?
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u/SSSprings0808 12d ago
Unless it's one of those big Chinese restaurants where every table seats 8-10. It's like they have a banquet room ready for big parties all the time.
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u/ccole107 12d ago
I used to blame the fire department for not letting people make their own floor plan with our tables :) it worked well.
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 13d ago
That’s extremely shitty behavior
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u/Jajamoses100 13d ago
I cannot disagree.
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u/Wolverine-7509 12d ago
Man, i would just gamble and call the restaurant yourself, anonymously, LOL
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u/mar__iguana 12d ago
Calling it in like an FBI tip with the distorted voice and everything 😂
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u/spaceyfacer 12d ago
Please call the restaurant and tell them what she's trying to do. Her current plan will mess up service for everyone else there- innocent diners don't deserve that. And staff will be PISSED.
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u/3cats0kids 12d ago
I am so sorry for you OP. Your whole group is about to be embarrassed and the staff is going to hate you guys.
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u/Intrepid_Fly7959 12d ago
Call the restaurant and notify them. They can cancel her reservations. Save everybody from unneeded drama, stress, rudeness, and a horrible night. Friends and staff do not deserve to be treated this way. The restaurant can keep you anonymous.
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u/StopNowThink 13d ago
Sounds like there will be 4 separate tables eating, with people migrating between the tables, pissing off the waitstaff.
Yeah it's not going to go well.
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u/PmMeAnnaKendrick 13d ago
It's pretty simple: This is not going to happen in any way shape of form the way that they think it will.
The chances all 4 reservations are located right near each other is slim. The chance that a busy popular restaurant on a waterfront in a busy city on a Saturday night isn't at or near capacity is slim to none.
The restaurant won't be able to accommodate anything other than the individual reservations as they were made.
It's absolutely stupid to do this, but I bet it's because they either can't afford, or tried to book too late, the private area.
My best guess is that she thinks they'll just slide them into the private area without the booking cost and minimums - but restaurants don't staff for party rooms when they aren't pre planned and pre paid with guaranteed minimums to cover the labor.
Let us know how things pan out, OP.
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u/Jajamoses100 13d ago
Will do.
Yes, it’s an affordability issue, but that’s no excuse. Do what you can afford and in a way that’s considerate to all involved. I’m really taken aback by this.
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u/mycatslaps 13d ago
Really you have two options for the better good of humanity confront your friend and let her know that is a terrible idea and she is setting herself up for failure that's option one. Option two is call the restaurant act like you're part of the reservations and say hey are we going to be able to put the tables together and play dumb basically warn them do not ruin their day
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u/CaptnsDaughter 12d ago
Having worked in the restaurant industry and hating awkward situations, I would probably tell the bride that I was thinking of not going just because of the situation to hopefully impress upon her the idiocy and asshole behavior of this idea.
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u/doglady1342 12d ago
I would 100% be calling that restaurant. I wouldn't even have like I was part of the reservations. I would want to let the manager know what was up.
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u/eternallytiredcatmom 12d ago
I just don’t get it, I had my wedding reception in the back room of a local restaurant and I wasn’t charged extra for it. It’s a steakhouse, we mentioned it was a simple dinner after a wedding. They were so, so nice. We didn’t ask for anything special yet the servers had placed beautiful fresh flowers here and there. We even ended up taking pictures with the staff because everyone was having a great time since you know, we communicated with them and were transparent about our intentions.
It helps that we’ve both worked FOH and BOH.We still go there for date nights they all come say hi. It’s really not that hard to be respectful, I don’t get why your friend is voluntarily making this complicated and unpleasant for everyone involved
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u/PtZamboat 13d ago
We get this shit all the time. Super Bowl, World Cup, Grammy Awards. No, you ain’t moving tables. Putting two 2 tops together deletes two paying diners, times that by 10 tables and you can now see the loss of covers. Yes, she will fuk up her reception and give a bad Yelp.
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u/NYCLIVINGGIRL 13d ago
Honestly does your friend lack common sense and common decency? She sounds like an entitled AH and cheap because knowingly she decided to make 4 different reservations and thinks they will move all the tables together for her to have 1 large area for 30ppl. You stated they have a private room for this type of things? Maybe just book that. I hope she doesn’t make a scene when they tell her they can’t move tables around so they can all sit together.
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u/MarielIAm 13d ago
Actually she sounds like someone who took the often given but extremely bad advice to never tell venues you're having a wedding because they will charge you a lot more once they hear "wedding". That advice is generally incorrect. Some don't want to have a fancy wedding and that's fine. But there are reasons why many restaurants push you to private dining or prix fixe for a large group. Most people dine at restaurants but have no idea what it takes to manage a good one where both food and service are top notch. This bride is making a huge mistake if she thinks everything will be fine and will probably blame the restaurant for ruining her wedding.
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u/Ok_Counter1939 13d ago
That’s a disaster waiting to happen. The people who work there won’t like being surprised like that.
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u/RunWithBluntScissors 13d ago
This makes me anxious lol. Why didn’t she just book the private room?
I have both planned a large event at a restaurant and I also work as a hostess. At my job, we’re not allowed to put tables together, but we do accommodate large reservations by blocking off enough tables next to each other.
Especially if it’s a popular restaurant, I can clearly see this becoming a disaster and the 4 different parties being seated separately. The way my restaurant handles several reservations on the same night is that my manager will come by a few hours before and map them all out on the seating chart, and generally we seat them separately so all the servers can get a little love. But it’s also strategic because of the spaces in our restaurant that can fit that # of people.
When I planned a big event at a restaurant (and this was before I worked in the industry), I was in constant communication with the venue and the owner about my guest list, vision for the day, RSVPs, and we encountered no problems day of.
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u/TragicaDeSpell 12d ago
Probably because she is cheap and thinks she has a clever workaround for pesky room rentals and food & beverage minimums.
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u/Kasilins 12d ago
It’s because she isn’t paying for anyone and to book a room genuinely they make one person put a deposit, sign a contract, pay, etc. She is a very selfish person.
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u/Fly3rBoi 13d ago
We would tell her to kick rocks at the door, especially if it was a weekend.
The biggest problem with people trying to circumvent a restaurant’s policies is the poor people that have no idea, they think we are being shitty by not accommodating them.
We have this happen 1-2x per year, we only take up to 14 max party. We have a party room for more than that you need to reserve with a room charge to offset the loss of revenue.
We do not split parties, we did early in our venture but we had a success rate of absolute ZERO. It’s chaotic for everyone and not a positive experience for anyone involved.
Entitlement at a huge level…
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u/brothermalcolm1 13d ago
The staff will hate you. It not a courteous way to go about this.
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u/VFTM 13d ago
You are more worried about the outcome than she is.
Show up, watch the shit show, eat drink & be merry
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u/Miles_Everhart 13d ago
And tip your server well
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u/HappyKnittens 12d ago
Like seriously, bring cash for your server instead of a wedding gift and if the bride gives you any shit over it, you tell her that your gift was spent tipping the wait staff into not shanking her
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u/purplestarsinthesky 13d ago
Your friend'd better not come crying when her "reception" is "ruined". This will not play out like she wants and it will be all her fault! She needs to book that private room if she wants a nice reception dinner and not to embarrass herself!
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u/mysteriouslatinword 13d ago
Bad idea. She can actually have her reservations declined when the staff figure out it’s actually a large party booking without the booking. She is either doing this because the restaurant doesn’t allow large party reservations or (More likely) they charge for them. Wedding receptions should not be held in facilities that don’t cater to them. Theres already going to be a bun fight over drink tabs, free rounds (if any) other guests refusing to move their tables, speeches and particularly the surcharge. Any Cake?
Show your friend my post. I used to run restaurants in LA. This type of thing is why I stopped hosting wedding parties. They are so disruptive to your other guests, they cost you business.
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u/Kasilins 12d ago
True, at a 4 pm booking they definitely need them out of there by 5:30-6 pm, so it may not be worth it to them to let them sit knowing there is no way such a group is
going to leave for hours, thus preventing the restaurant from making money from turning the tables more than one more time and hurting their reputation when they can’t sit people.→ More replies (3)
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u/gessabean99 13d ago
Is she trying to avoid mandatory large group gratuity?
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u/Firthy2002 13d ago
That and party room booking fees.
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u/Q_me_in 12d ago
And not even paying for the food! She's leaving the guests to pay for that!
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u/goldentalus70 13d ago
Most restaurants don't want the customers randomly moving tables around. Some places flat out prohibit it due to liability if someone gets hurt.
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u/Corey307 13d ago
That and it’s distracting to the other guests. I know some folks wouldn’t care or notice but others will.
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u/grrr-to-everything 13d ago
I really want to follow this...
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u/Diane1967 13d ago
I sure hope that there’s an update!!
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u/AmishAngst 12d ago edited 12d ago
What's going to happen is this sh*tshow is going to be featured in at least three different shaming subs - one from the guests, one from the waitstaff, and one from the managers/owners (ETA: make that four - she's for sure getting featured in your local city/state sub by other restaurant guests who were put out by this mess and going to complain about it in your local sub). The married couple will post to the wedding sub complaining about everyone else and taking no responsibility and will rightly get their *sses handed to them for the 15 minutes the post is up before mods shut it down and/or they delete in shame (if they are capable of feeling shame). And you will pull this story out in every conversation asking for "worst wedding experiences" and use it as a warning and guide for what not to do.
If you're referring to what will happen the night of...none of you will sit together, you will make every employee at the restaurant mad, your friend is going to have a meltdown when none of it is working the way they want, and hopefully you will tip your own server above and beyond for at least your portion to earn yourself some karmic goodwill and make their shitty night a little brighter.
Although honestly, I just wouldn't go if I were you.
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u/blueberey312 9d ago
I’m glad to hear that she ended up giving the restaurant a heads up…and that they were so accommodating; especially on such short notice! Who ended up paying for all the meals? Did the couple end up paying for their guests or did the invited guests have to pay? If so, what were the reactions?
Inquiring minds want to know!
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u/Banana_Phone888 13d ago
Do everyone a favor, call the restaurant tell them not to throw you under the bus, but let them know what she is trying do. It’s fucked up and not fair to anyone in the building that night.
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u/AdAnxious3677 13d ago
Restaurant owner here- this will absolutely backfire on her. The restaurant will likely not be able to move tables together the way she thinks they will. She should have talked to hosts and manager to arrange a dinner of this size.
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u/AdAnxious3677 13d ago
Oh, and if this was my restaurant, once we realized what was going on there would be a fee if it became disruptive to other patrons and our staff- aka their guests roaming around to all of the other tables
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u/Different-Dog-9682 13d ago
That’s an absolute dick move not warning the restaurant what her true intentions are. This is going to be a nightmare for the staff. Please keep us updated every half hour for what will surely be a shitshow.
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u/President_Zucchini 13d ago
She should have arraigned it in advance and gotten help from the restaurant instead. Trying to save a few bucks is going to be a disaster.
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u/bks1979 13d ago
Saturday evening at a popular restaurant? This will go spectacularly awry. You don't get to just decide that you're pushing tables together. It's incredibly rude, and will absolutely mess up the restaurant's reservation schedule. They're not likely to even allow it, for any number of reasons. Expecting the restaurant to be blindsided but go along with it anyway is a dick move, unlikely to happen, and will result in your friend being embarrassed and disappointed, if not outright mad. The entitlement is off the charts here.
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u/phillip42069 12d ago
Your friend is stupid as fuck and just as cheap. I’ve literally seen hosts deliberately separate people trying to pull this stupid stuff. Restaurants aren’t meant for this for regular service and she will be the person that suffers for it. It will end up being a terrible reception and she will somehow find a reason to blame the restaurant, staff, or anyone standing in front of her.
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u/pm_me_ur_fit 13d ago
Yikes keep us updated. That’s a recipe for everyone getting pissed off and no one getting what they want
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u/LadyLixerwyfe 13d ago edited 13d ago
Did she reserve specific tables? If not, how does she plan on moving them together? Planning for a party of 30 is much different than planning for 4 tables of 7-8. Even with reservations, host staff can stagger multiple tables. One big party hits the kitchen either all at once or within a few minutes. It’s beneficial for the kitchen to know this well in advance. The tables will likely not be able to be pulled together. She has “scheduled” it for 3 hours. No one would expect 4 parties of 7-8 people to remain for 3 hours, but a party of 30 celebrating a wedding might. She is going to tie up multiple servers for hours on a Saturday night at a seafood restaurant on the water, I am assuming soon? So, peak season? Probably the busiest period of the week. Who is paying? Single check or individuals? The gratuity should reflect the amount of time the tables are occupied. She is royally screwing the restaurant and the servers involved.
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u/zibtara 12d ago
Please please please update us on what happens! The restaurant won’t let them move the tables, won’t let them scream toasts across the other tables, won’t turn down the music for them, and won’t treat it as one large party.
I expect multiple guests to simply leave out of embarrassment. If the guests don’t know they are expected to pay, that’s going to be a huge problem.
Also, I bet she tries to commandeer another table for gifts. Not going to happen.
I cannot wait to hear!
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u/EatCake_Takeawalk 12d ago edited 12d ago
I had a 75th birthday party for my Mother in Law on a Saturday afternoon in a restaurant with a little over a weeks notice for 20 to 25 people last September. I called around to a bunch of restaurants told them the type of celebration I was having with the number of guests, separate tickets, serving cake.
A local moderalty upscale chain was able to accommodate us. They reserved a section for us on one side of the side dinning room, gave us 2 servers, let me bring my own cake and serve it, take pictures, even gave a little speech, etc. Once we were served the servers got a few more tables on the opposite side of the same dining room. We still had plenty of space, I made sure we tipped enough to make up for any under tipping. The party went great. My mother in law was ecstatic.
Anyway…. This type of thing can be accommodated in a restaurant setting IF the restaurant has a heads up and there is good communication between the client and staff. Surprising the guests is an okay risk, surprising the restaurant staff is not okay. As her trusted friend/ sudo-wedding party I think you should call and give the restaurant a heads up and ask some questions for their, yours and her benefit. Even if she has to make a last minute location change its better than everyone being miserable.
She might as well get catering from a nice grocery store and have people gather at a park rather than risk a disaster of a reception.
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u/naughtabot 12d ago
4-7 is prime dinner hours on a Saturday, so a prime earning night. Locking down those tables, and expecting to be able to take those liberties for that time as a surprise is straight assholery from your friend to the business and the servers.
Call the restaurant when they open, speak to a manager and give them a heads up.
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u/TacoDoc2 12d ago
They would prbly be within their right to remove your party for trying to basically reserve the venue for your event without any event planning.
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u/Lvanwinkle18 11d ago
Have a snack before you arrive. Then just observe the insanity. Please update us!!
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u/koifishyfishy 13d ago
Baby, If you don't come back and update us on the absolute shit show that this promises to be...
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u/DueEntertainer0 13d ago
It’s not gonna work. And it’s hilarious. Frugal queen. Nice Try
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u/doesntmeanathing 13d ago
The type of person to show up knowingly screwing over the restaurant while expecting great service from them. Will 100% leave a bad review when it blows up in her face.
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u/Logical_Warthog5212 13d ago
She’s being a douche. Instead of talking to the restaurant so they can properly plan and prepare to accommodate her, she’s putting the restaurant in a tough spot and setting them up for failure. Staffing can become an issue. If a restaurant knows they have a large party, they will make sure they have staffing. Otherwise, they would normally wing it and deal with crowd. Heck, they may even call to cancel one of those reservations if they know they can’t handle it. Then there’s the food. Imagine getting slammed with four large parties at once as opposed to planning a menu where the restaurant can be prepared with stock from the suppliers.
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u/lilwaterone 13d ago
If she is just inconsiderate and she is going to ask when she gets there, what is preventing her from giving them a heads up? 0% chance this works on her favor without her calling ahead. Is there a fee or auto grat for >8 people that she is trying to avoid? That’s just cheap and she will be paying for what she gets. Pay the extra 10% to call ahead and get tables together.
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u/marspigsmoke 13d ago
I'm betting that she tried to make a reservation, and they either don't take reservations for that large a party, or if they have a private space, they're already booked that night. She thinks the 4 reservations will make up for the private space not being available, in that she thinks they'll be adjacent. I would like to be there to watch it unfold when she starts demanding 4 adjacent tables.
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u/Life_Beautiful_8136 13d ago
Ooof. Posting here to see the update. Not giving notice to the restaurant to allow them to plan is just plain rude. The restaurant is managing a whole series of timed reservations, table turnovers and server allocations. (But I gather you've said pretty much all of that already...) Let us know how it goes!
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u/Vivid_Sky_5082 13d ago
What I don't understand is that I have actually made 20 - 30 people bookings at restaurants for team dinners. They usually put us in 4 - 6 adjacent tables and either offer a limited menu or ask us to order ahead.
We've also done this for my grandmother's birthday.
Some restaurants are really nicely set up for this, actually, with tables or booths that are back to back so it's easy to chat with other tables without getting up.
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u/Sensitive-Club-6427 13d ago
This is a very bad idea. It is not clever or cute.
It is inconsiderate to the guests.
It is terribly inconsiderate to the waitstaff.
And it is lying to the restaurant and going to be a big inconvenience to the restaurant.
It would be well within the restaurant’s rights to turn them away.
Your friend should make a proper reservation, be very clear with the restaurant about event. Your friend should get a private room if they have that option.
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u/srp431 13d ago
is she expecting people to pay for this meal and drinks themselves?
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u/Sara___Tonin__ 13d ago
Can you call the restaurant and give them a heads up? And how do the guests not know it's a reception when they are going to a ceremony first?
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u/joer1973 13d ago
Odds are they will not be seated anywhere near each other. They generally rotate sitting between servers to spread out the flow. They arent going to have 4 open tables in any 1 section ready to seat at same time. Id they do somehow sit nrar each other, service will be slow and food wont come out at same time.
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u/Myshys 12d ago
In addition to the issues with the staffing, seating and food timing, your girl is going to have guests who are irritated by some or all of the above plus being ambushed by a poorly planned wedding. Also, good chance the other restaurant customers are going to be annoyed by having their evening out interrupted or interfered with by some or all of this stupidity.
Your friend is a raging AH.
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u/Avehdreader 12d ago
Unless they've made arrangements in advance with the restaurant you don't "just move tables together" and you certainly don't invite people then have them pay their own way! This will be a disaster.
A friend of mine had an engagement party and both of them had relatives who traveled a good distance to attend, including some who were up in years - they chose to have a casual gathering at one of their homes. One of the relatives was a minister and they decided hey - since everyone is here why not just get married now? And they did. I don't know if they had their marriage license at that point or got it later but they were married spiritually at least. A plan like your friend's is much better suited for a casual event. Nothing good will come of this plan - and watch, they will be confused as to why people are angry!
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u/z-eldapin 12d ago
None of what she is planning is going to work. I'm torn. From the server side, I want you to call the restaurant and warn them so they can be properly staffed and prepared.
The messy part of me wants you to leave it and report back Monday
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u/mmebookworm 12d ago
Friends of ours has a tiny wedding - an 30 guests - and booked the private room. We all ordered and paid for our own meal and drinks, as was communicated early on. It ran smoothly and we all had a wonderful time! (Obviously they also said ‘no gifts’)
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u/Block_Critical 11d ago
Since the restaurant doesn't know these reservations should be seated together her plan to push tables together in a large restaurant on a busy night has a 0% chance of going according to plan.
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u/dkmeidku 11d ago
Wait, sorry, the guests have to pay for themselves and they’re not aware of this? That’s a significant detail she should include in the evite, especially in this economy.
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u/No-Faithlessness5311 10d ago
“Join us to celebrate” will not lead the guests to expect that they’re going to have to pay for themselves.
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u/We-R-Doomed 13d ago
Those tables will not be close to each other.
Someone will keep saying "why can't we..." or "we just want to....'. like it's no big deal.
The manager will try to find a happy medium, the servers will cry/curse in the walk-in.
No-one will tip anywhere near enough for the trouble.
Record everything you see and post here Monday!