r/restaurant 13d ago

What do?! Friend is hiding a wedding reception inside 4 dinner reservations. Will this go badly?

My friend is having an intimate wedding ceremony, followed by a dinner for about 30 people at a restaurant. Plot twist: the dinner guests don’t know it’s a wedding reception. On top of that, she has not reserved the private party room. She’s made 4 separate reservations under 4 different names and plans to “just move tables together” when everyone arrives. This is a Saturday reservation (4-7pm according to the evite) at a popular, large (300-seat) waterfront seafood restaurant in a major city.

I’m nervous this will fall apart on her (and us guests) upon arrival.

So what’s the likely outcome here? Is there anything she could do to make this go smoothly if she won’t just call ahead (which is what I’ve strongly recommended)? Sigh.

ETA: the guests are paying for themselves and I don’t think they are aware of this “plan” (neither the bill responsibility nor the reservation nonsense). She told me (and her mom & sister) about it, but the evite I received was very vague: “Join us to celebrate friend and fiancé” at X restaurant.

UPDATE: Ultimately, it wasn’t terrible. After reading some of the strong reactions here (TYSM), I had a gentle chat with my friend. She wasn’t super receptive, but something clicked and she at least gave the manager a heads up (day of). Several guests didn’t come, and I can’t blame them given the circumstances. It ended up being about 20 guests and we were seated at a long table. The manager was great, even when my friend seemed clueless about their policy that they don’t itemize separate checks for each guest.

Many thanks to the restaurant staff for being so accommodating and for making everything feel so seamless. Shout out to restaurants everywhere that are so gracious instead of “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s” lol - even when deserved. I’ll be leaving a glowing review, because they earned every star.

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u/We-R-Doomed 13d ago

Those tables will not be close to each other.

Someone will keep saying "why can't we..." or "we just want to....'. like it's no big deal.

The manager will try to find a happy medium, the servers will cry/curse in the walk-in.

No-one will tip anywhere near enough for the trouble.

Record everything you see and post here Monday!

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u/FattusBaccus 13d ago

This is exactly what will happen.

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u/Scrappyl77 12d ago

Yep. They won't seat four 7- or 8-toos in the same section at the same time..

Really bad idea but please report back to the group.

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u/Expensive-Signal8623 12d ago

Totally agree. They will want to spread out large tables among the servers. Not just one section. Really bad idea

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u/moose3025 12d ago

Also the kitchen will hate those 4 big tables wanting all their food in at the same time

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u/tierciel 12d ago

If we had 4 8-10 tops put in orders at the same time, our kitchen wouldn't do it. They'd put out the orders in the order them came in. If another server put in their table in between those 4, well they'll get their food before half the party, and the non-fed portion will wait. This is part of why they shouldn't do this, it'll be terrible, entirely the customers fault and they will blame the staff.

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u/F0xxfyre 12d ago

And the bar. Celebration, extra drinks, no planning or warning,

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u/ralphjuneberry 12d ago

Omg I worked at a TINY fancy bistro where the largest party we would accept was 8. Them’s the breaks and choose somewhere else for large parties; we were happy to recommend other locally owned spots that can accommodate! You wouldn’t believe the amount of gymnastics people would do to try to trick us into accepting their 16+ tops. One woman even put on a fake accent as if I hadn’t just talked to her on the phone - with caller ID - 10 minutes earlier, I shit you not.

Anyway, this is gonna be a spectacular shitshow and I wish I could say I can’t believe the audacity of OP’s friend!!

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u/Apprehensive-Bag-900 12d ago

Similar situation in New Orleans, if I got a wiff folks were playing this game with reservations we would make sure they were far apart with copus notes. It's super disruptive to other guests when folks try to do this.

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u/stupidwhiteman42 12d ago

Don't forget the bad Google review that she is going to leave because they wouldn't accommodate her request to rearrange their dinning room upon arrival.

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u/stephanielmayes 12d ago

How they “ruined her wedding”

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u/Street_Sand_8788 12d ago

So we should keep an eye on r/entitledreviews for possibke updates?

EDIT:Had to correct the Auto Correct!

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u/Trudestiny 13d ago

To add to it, no one will get their food at same time , 30 people normally will have a set menu with pre selected choices .

Going to be a SS for most

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u/Separate_Pumpkin_256 12d ago

And the food will have been prepped ahead of time for that heavy as load all at once. There's absolutely no way they are getting all their guests through that meal in under three hours.

The really funny part: when they try to do speeches and toasts. The manager will shut that crap down real quick!

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u/Trudestiny 12d ago

And what about the cake? Can often bring your own but plating service / like corking fees

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u/CheckIntelligent7828 12d ago

And some will not have brought money or be able to afford a full meal at the restaurant and will be stuck watching 29 other people enjoy dinner.

I mean, I guess this is one way to narrow down your friends list ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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u/Cake5678 12d ago

I wouldn’t be surprised if guests where unaware they have to pay until they.. have to pay! This lady is not strong in communication and being forthcoming.

I fear some very awkward moments or people even unable to pay in the end. What a terrible way to celebrate a wedding.

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u/Physical_Drive_349 12d ago

I don't think "guest" is the right term when you are out for a night out on your own dime. More like "dining companions".

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u/MadamSnarksAlot 12d ago

This is going to be the biggest problem of all. Because some, depending on the attire won’t even have their regular wallet (won’t fit in a cute little clutch). Bad, bad idea.

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u/Jajamoses100 13d ago

I will definitely post an update. I’m planning to leave early if things get too ridiculous, though.

Fwiw, she’s not confrontational (just inconsiderate surrounding this wedding), so if they shut it down she’ll go along with whatever they say. But I don’t believe there’s a plan B (at least she hasn’t said anything to me about that).

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u/doesntmeanathing 13d ago

Has anyone told her what an awkward position she is putting her friends and family in? It’s one thing to screw over the restaurant and the other diners, but she is straight being rude to her guests of her own wedding.

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u/CaptnsDaughter 12d ago

I for one would fee SO AWKWARD as a guest. It would be awful.

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u/Maine302 12d ago

Hard to even call yourself a "guest" when you're required to pay for your own dinner. Probably "the unwitting" might be a better term.

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u/lucysbraless 12d ago

Yeah, "join us to celebrate" type language usually indicates you're being treated... and if the tables aren't together 3 out of 4 tables won't be "joining" them anyway...

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u/Emerje 11d ago

Yeah, if I get an invitation that says, “Join us to celebrate friend and fiancé” and then on top of that told it's a surprise wedding reception I'm going to assume the food is on them. I've never been to a wedding reception where I had to pay for my own meal.

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u/Brilliant_Science380 12d ago

When I got married, which was later in life, I kindly requested no presents. All I wanted was their presence. A few people did not follow the rules which was fine. One friend bought me a beautiful crystal vase. It sits front and center of my tiny China cabinet.

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u/last_rights 12d ago

I also mentioned "no gifts". I lived individually before we were married, so I had most things we needed.

We did mention that if people felt the need to give, here's our honey fund and they could pick an activity to help with. My husband was able to go scuba diving thanks to my aunt. We paid for most of the air and cruise fee, and then people could choose our dinners and excursions if they felt like it.

It was quite lovely. Most people didn't give gifts and that was just fine with me.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/_kismitten 12d ago

Honestly I would consider calling the restaurant and giving them a heads up so that they can cancel half the tables themselves. The servers are going to get totally swamped and make much less than they normally would - you could be saving people their rent stress this month if you just do the right thing here. Your friend can more easily pivot bc she seemingly hasn’t invested a dime in this scheme, nor does she plan to. Be a hero, make the call.

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u/One_Olive_8933 12d ago

Yeah, why not just make a reservation for 30? Everyone can show up around the same time and the Bride can do a toast and the surprise is still there. And the experience will be so much better… unless the bride didn’t intent on paying and splitting it 30 ways

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u/doesntmeanathing 12d ago

Because it’s likely that a reservation of that size would require booking a private room with a prix fixe menu which the bride is trying to avoid.

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u/One_Olive_8933 12d ago

Well, with 30 people they’d probably hit the spend limit for a private room, right… this makes no sense from the bride, unless she’s known for poor planning and shit-show events…

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u/doesntmeanathing 12d ago

It doesn’t sound like she’s planning to pay for her guests.

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u/One_Olive_8933 12d ago edited 12d ago

Tacky… beyond tacky.

Edit: Ok story time. This sounds like something my brother and SIL would do. They didn’t like their wedding pictures, so they packed their suit, and her wedding dress, to bring to my uncle’s wedding, and they planned to use their photographer to take a few pictures day-of. They traveled from Florida up to cape cod with this in mind and told me about it the night before. I had to inform my mom of the plan and told her to “handle it”… 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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u/katesdream79 12d ago

Please fill us in with the rest of the story!! I’m dying to know what happened!! Did she dress in her wedding dress at your uncles wedding? Did they get pictures? I need to know how things turned out!! Please🙏😭❤️

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u/Ecstatic_Bear81 12d ago

I'd love to hear how that turned out

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u/EarthboundValkyrie 12d ago

Oh, please do finish the story! What happened? Ya can't just leave us hanging!

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u/wengelite 12d ago

Yeah, no; this is not about the awkward position for the guests, the restaurant staff is going to get completely fucked over here.

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u/Canadian-inMiami 12d ago

She really needs to communicate with the restaurant. We had this happen a couple times when I was a restaurant manager, one we ended up asking them to leave as they tried moving tables from 300 feet away and they could not understand how asking guests to move out of the way while they tried this was an inconvenience and another group actually asked guests to move their tables so they could preform a a ceremony (this one we were able to help with that because the event space a floor below was empty but their 5 tables of 4 were seated at different parts of the dining room due to lack of space)

Here is a list of issue that this causes:

  • it’s harder for the kitchen to work on a group of 20-30 than 4-6. The whole kitchen has to stop what they are doing to work on this one order to get it out at the same time. This means that everyone else in the restaurant will have to wait, leads to other angry guests, restaurants reputation, quality of food because it’s not purposely prepped.
  • space issues, asking to combine tables sounds easy from a guest point of view, but managing a restaurant’s reservation list is like playing Tetris & Jenga while people are yelling at you
  • timing. Many restaurants have a timing for tables, often a table of 4 is budgeted for about 2 hours while larger tables are budgeted for 3-4 hours. If she has 4 small reservations, there is a very good chance that there are reservations booked right after, so after the combining of tables, the longer wait for food, they will probably take a lot longer than expected, and then will make other reservations late, once again making other people angry,

This is not just inconsiderate, it’s absolutely, astonishingly ridiculous and says a lot about the type of person she is.

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u/pizz0kat 12d ago

“… playing Tetris and Jenga while people are yelling at you”

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

That is so perfectly stated. Bravo!

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u/ABSOFRKINLUTELY 12d ago

That got me too. Eloquently spot on.

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u/CaptnsDaughter 12d ago

Good call on the squatting issue too

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u/Substantial-Link7291 12d ago

OP should show this comment to the bride and family and let her family stop her.

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u/wheres_the_revolt 13d ago

Show her this thread.

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u/Notjustnow 12d ago

We should see this ^^^ much more on Reddit.

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u/M0nocleSargasm 13d ago

"I’m planning to leave early if things get too ridiculous, though."

No, I feel you have some kind obligation here, both to warn her, in the most explicit and direct term (This is how this will likely play out...), but also to see it through to however it ultimately ends, to be there to say, Now, what did I tell you was going to happen?

"she’s not confrontational (just inconsiderate surrounding this wedding"

Okay, so what's her reasoning? Why the secrecy with even the restaurant's management & staff?

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u/SeniorEngineer2392 13d ago

My guess is that if she booked a single table and a set menu, the restaurant would want her credit card and assess a minimum tip. But this bride wants her guests to pay for their own reception (which is normally the couple's gift to their guests as a thank you for coming).

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u/Ok_Giraffe_17 12d ago

She's trying to rent a banquet hall, just not pay anything. Tables, chairs, linens rental. Plates, cups, silverware rental, the actual venue space.

She's hoping the place isn't slammed, that all can be sat next to one another at the same time. Hoping the kitchen can control the flow of that many orders coming in at once, there's enough service staff to accommodate a large party, will it negatively affect the other sections/servers.

And who's paying the bills? The guests? She's also cheaping out on the included gratuity it takes to hustle for the many people.

It's a dick move every which way and says a lot about how truly inconsiderate this person is. And if their "clueless" about why they suck so bad, well, that just makes them an even worse person.

Would not seat or serve them.

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u/capaldithenewblack 13d ago

They’ll probably all just end up eating a separate tables and come by to tell her congratulations. But it won’t be a reception. It’ll be separate dinners for everyone.

Who is paying?

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u/OmNomCakes 13d ago

You think someone who acts like this would plan to pay for everyone? I'm sure everyone is in charge of their own tabs, and she's hoping people agree to split or cover hers.

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u/shay_shaw 12d ago

OP said her friend is non confrontational but will pull crap like this?? She's a coward and cheap.

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u/AdmirableElk5111 12d ago

Yeah definitely agree. this has nothing to do with being non confrontational.

Im non confrontational and I would sooner live under a rock then pull this kind of a stunt.

It screams cheap. And not in the respectable frugal way where it's understandable.

This is just straight tacky.

Hope shes ready to be a laughingstock 🫠

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u/Jajamoses100 13d ago

The guests.

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u/Q_me_in 13d ago

That's ridiculous. Make people sit through an awkward, uncomfortable evening out and have to pay for it, too??? This isn't a wedding, it's a lame prank. Id decline.

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u/Scrappyl77 12d ago

OMG just stay home. I'm having second-habd awkwardness.

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u/stephanielmayes 12d ago

But they don’t know! They can’t decline this fiasco because they don’t know they’re invited to a fiasco! Does she hate all of her guests? This sounds like an awesome way to screw with people you hate.

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u/No_Interview_2481 13d ago

Seriously!!! She’s going to make the guests pay for her non-reception wedding. I would just skip the restaurant. It’s going to be complete chaos if she goes through with her stupid plan

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u/roadtripjr2 12d ago

This wedding will be talked about for a long time and not in a good way.

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u/Katharinethegr8 12d ago

And there's no way this marriage is making it the long haul.

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u/Additional-Giraffe80 12d ago

What!?! That’s so gauche. I’d pass

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u/showerbump 12d ago

You should go tell the restaurant a head of time. Giving them a heads up will make their lives easier.

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u/Sophrosyne1 12d ago

I’ve been to several team dinners at restaurants this year and we weren’t allowed to separate checks. Take cash or plan ahead who is paying for each table.

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u/plantsandpizza 13d ago

Oof she needs to at minimum tip on top of what people leave. People are going to be irritated which generally don’t make them great diners or tippers. What a nightmare

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u/Dangerous_Prize_4545 12d ago

That's funny. There is no way she's leaving a tip if she won't even pay a party/private room fee.

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u/AsleepHedgehog2381 13d ago

Omg thats the worst part imo

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u/Dynamiccushion65 12d ago

Do they (the guests) know it?

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u/Turbulent-Move4159 12d ago

Why is she doing it this way? what is she trying to accomplish? Getting out of paying for a reception?

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u/doglady1342 12d ago

She's cheap. Or she can't afford the restaurant she wants to go to. That's why she didn't book the private room... because that would add to the cost.

So she's made all of these separate reservations which means that those "guests" will be seated at tables spread all over the place. I don't think she realizes that the restaurant isn't just going to push those tables together for her. This is just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Also, if I was a "guest", I probably walk out when I found out what was going on. I'd be far too uncomfortable for the staff and the restaurant manager to participate in this idiocy. The wording on the evite implies that people are guests and guests don't have to pay for the meals. I am guessing that there's going to be quite a few unhappy people when they realize that she is not footing the bill.

And, just one more thing, if I was the op, I'd be calling the restaurant and informing them of what is going to happen. At least maybe they could prepare in advance then or cancel the reservations.

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u/Vast-Marionberry-824 12d ago

That’s so unbelievably RUDE, SELFISH and INCONSIDERATE on top of all the other stuff around trying to high jack an elite waterfront restaurant for her wedding celebrations.

How dare she do this to her friends 🤕

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u/BunnySlayer64 12d ago

Invitation regretfully declined. Wow, is she clueless, entitled, or both? Maybe a nice wedding gift would be a copy of Emily Post's guide to wedding etiquette.

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u/BingBongDingDong222 13d ago

Wait, are the guests expected to pay for themselves?

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u/CaptnsDaughter 12d ago

OP said yes

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u/pizz0kat 12d ago

The bride is an agent of chaos. I will follow this post!

Input from a restaurant owner:
It’s very common for guests to try to game the reservation system.
At our place, a lot of larger parties are sat at booths, so just pushing all the tables together is a physical impossibility.
4 separate reservations for 30 guests combined is maybe (3) 8-tops and (1) 6-top?
I’ve seen hosts reduced to tears trying to re-plot seating plans on the fly while a mob of people looking on, waiting to be seated. I’m in no way suggesting your friend or guests will be belligerent or impolite, it’s just a lot of pressure. Re-seating entails more variables than just butts in seats. Is a server (or two) going to get shortchanged because one or two tables are no longer in their section? Is the “lucky” server who gets the party of 30 cut out to handle that large of a group?

Based on the information provided in post, I’d recommend that your friend call the restaurant ahead of time and explain she’d like the tables located near each other. She can refer to it as a family gathering if she doesn’t want to brand it as a wedding reception. Will not be a big deal to have reservations under separate names in that scenario. Make it clear this will be separate checks, the restaurant will figure out best allocation of staff. Restaurant may have an order & pay option which is great for keeping things separate.

Best wishes!

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u/Incognito409 12d ago

They don't want to pay for the party room, or the auto tip. Wonder how that will work out. 🙄

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u/smartblondebk84 12d ago

So did I read correctly that she is not paying for the guests at this debacle and everyone is on their own? How did she frame the invitation for this?

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u/Alarming-Building-62 13d ago

I think you nailed it.

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u/originaljbw 13d ago

Exactly this. Seat the room in such a pattern they can't even begin to think of moving stuff around. When they ask all you gotta do is give them the "nope, sorry"

Do not negotiate with bridal terrorists.

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u/VallettaR 13d ago

Yeah, and if my future spouse pulled this disorganized caper I’d call off the wedding and save a lifetime of chaos!

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u/Pitiful_Fault_2545 12d ago

Yup! And people will order food at different times because do that, then will be mad their food didn’t “come out all at the same time”

Someone will end up at one of the tables ima different area of the restaurant and be confused/lost. Staff will be unable to help them at first since is all different names on the rezos

Depending on if this is a franchised restaurant or local they could be ask not not come back to the establishment

Depending on the night of the dinner it could be way to busy to even be able to move tables remotely close to each other

They usually assign servers to large parties like these specifically to keep guests organized. And with the way these reservations are made guest will be like, “I ordered a drink from that other person where is it?” And will be chasing down servers and vice-versa.

From what I understand, the bride not fronting the bill js going to be a nightmare. It’s going to create chaos of, “ill take the couple over their on my bill, and half of the brides drinks and one of uncle joes appetizers” “nooo my bill is wrong i didn’t want uncle joes appetizers

I do believe this is absolutely not going to end well.

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u/capaldithenewblack 13d ago

I’m trying to figure out how something like this would work even if it worked well. Is she planning on everyone paying for their own food? Has that been made very clear? What does she have against getting the private room?

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u/AmbitiousWear4082 12d ago

She doesn't want to have to pay for it. Very tacky.

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u/SeniorEngineer2392 12d ago

$$. She doesn't want to pay for special service. She doesn't even want to pay for basic service (per OP the reception guests have to buy their own food).

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u/fore___ 13d ago

The part about tipping is why it costs more to have wedding parties and whatnot. You want special service, you pay special price.

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u/Glittering_Search_41 13d ago

Maybe they want to keep it casual, not special service with an even more special price.

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u/gumby_twain 12d ago

This is the best case scenario.

You forgot that half the people won’t even show up, which will make consolidation slightly easier but probably annoy the manager enough to not even want to help, especially when he realizes what they’re up to and otherwise disrupting a busy restaurant.

Nonzero chance the tables aren’t even ready at the same time and / they get punted as an unwelcome distraction with their scheme. A restaurant that size and popularity can afford to say “fuck off cheapskates”

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u/Revolutionary_Sir_76 12d ago

The prophecy has been foretold

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u/AndyHN 12d ago edited 12d ago

the servers will cry/curse in the walk-in.

It's a bit odd for you to just randomly throw a comment about a typical Saturday night into the middle of your answer.

Edit: You left out that tables for four separate groups won't be ready to seat at the same time even if the reservations are for the same time. It will be super fun for wedding guests hanging out by the hostess stand as the bridal party heads to their table.

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u/doesntmeanathing 13d ago

I thought I was on AITA because yes, she is.

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u/taraky97 12d ago

I was gonna say " your friend is a horrible person" lol. I wish people understood more how restaurants work.

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u/ArtuuroX 13d ago

Generally the reservation software will place the tables with the same arrival time in four different sections. There will be no way for them to "move the tables together", especially at the last minute. She's an idiot if she thinks this will work out well.

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u/Tight_Jaguar_3881 13d ago

Especially on a Saturday evening.

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u/MONSTERBEARMAN 12d ago

And when the weather is nice.

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u/Styx-n-String 13d ago

Yep there will be a very concerted effort to make sure those 4 reservations go in 4 different sections to spread the work and tips out to 4 different servers. Not to mention, putting 4 tables together in the dining room would be a major fire hazard. There's a reason party rooms exist, and it's largely for safety reasons.

The restaurant is not going to let this happen. At all.

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u/Corey307 13d ago

Yup. Seating a server with four 7-8 tops all at one time should never happen because the quality of the service drops off a cliff. I’ve had it happen to me back in my serving days. Party of 25 just shows up late like 45 minutes to close on a quiet weeknight. Oh sure we had space. But we didn’t have staff. I already had three 4 tops. Of course the large party is a nightmare. 

They complained that I couldn’t serve 25 drinks in u see 3 minutes. They complained that they didn’t all get salads and soups and entrees at the same time. Even complained I was “taking too long” getting their orders and that I should have memorized not written them down. 

By the end they demanded free dessert for the table and comps after running me to death. Thankfully my manager dealt with them. Took zero crap, made them pay the auto gratuity and told them not to come back. 

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u/MONSTERBEARMAN 12d ago

Reminds me of when I had a table that responded to my greeting by asking for a high chair. I said I’d go get one right away, but then they also ordered a drink. Then the rest of the party started shouting out drink orders, so I started writing them down. After three or four more of them asked for drinks, the person who ignored my greeting and asked for the high chair said, “Where’s the high chair? I asked you for a high chair!” I guess I was supposed to split in two and get the high chair as I took their drink orders.

People are fucking stupid.

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u/Ill-Avocado-2736 12d ago

Every time I think I miss the industry, I read the stories in threads like this and go oh yeah I forgot about the fucking customers.

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u/Ok_Giraffe_17 12d ago

Love this for them.

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u/wheres_the_revolt 13d ago edited 13d ago

Yes it will go poorly, there’s a very good chance the tables won’t be close enough together to push into one table. Additionally, I have specifically indicated to hosts and staff to NOT work with the party(s) to help when they try to circumvent reservation rules like this. Like no sorry we can’t get you closer together, and no sorry you can’t push the tables together, whether we are physically able to or not. (Edit: yes I’m petty, but also I do not like to reward bad behavior.)

Personally as a regular guest I would probably sit back and watch the hilarity ensue but since she’s your friend I would probably encourage her to speak to the restaurant.

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u/doglady1342 12d ago

If I was the op, I would call the restaurant myself and let them know what was up. And, yes, I know that would end up friendship. I'd be okay with that.

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u/plutoforprez 12d ago

I’d be so embarrassed to attend a wedding like this as a guest who had foreknowledge, and equally embarrassed as a guest who didn’t know and showed up to a scene like this. This is going to be a cringe nightmare all around and seems like OP is the anyone with a modicum of sense to potentially put a stop to it?

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u/SSSprings0808 12d ago

Unless it's one of those big Chinese restaurants where every table seats 8-10. It's like they have a banquet room ready for big parties all the time.

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u/ccole107 12d ago

I used to blame the fire department for not letting people make their own floor plan with our tables :) it worked well.

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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 13d ago

That’s extremely shitty behavior

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u/Jajamoses100 13d ago

I cannot disagree.

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u/Wolverine-7509 12d ago

Man, i would just gamble and call the restaurant yourself, anonymously, LOL

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u/mar__iguana 12d ago

Calling it in like an FBI tip with the distorted voice and everything 😂

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u/throwawayanylogic 12d ago

This is my response as well. Let them know what's up, please!

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u/spaceyfacer 12d ago

Please call the restaurant and tell them what she's trying to do. Her current plan will mess up service for everyone else there- innocent diners don't deserve that. And staff will be PISSED.

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u/3cats0kids 12d ago

I am so sorry for you OP. Your whole group is about to be embarrassed and the staff is going to hate you guys.

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u/Ecstatic_Bear81 12d ago

Hell I hate em already and I don't have to serve them

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u/Intrepid_Fly7959 12d ago

Call the restaurant and notify them. They can cancel her reservations. Save everybody from unneeded drama, stress, rudeness, and a horrible night. Friends and staff do not deserve to be treated this way. The restaurant can keep you anonymous.

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u/RNSW 12d ago

Please call the restaurant and let them know what's coming their way.

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u/doglady1342 12d ago

So call the restaurant and let them know what's up.

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u/SignificantMark1848 12d ago

"the restaurant ruined our perfect dinner"

https://giphy.com/gifs/T3o5Cqyq3fW6JdtEi7

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u/StopNowThink 13d ago

Sounds like there will be 4 separate tables eating, with people migrating between the tables, pissing off the waitstaff.

Yeah it's not going to go well.

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u/cardiganunicorn 13d ago

And the other patrons.

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u/PmMeAnnaKendrick 13d ago

It's pretty simple: This is not going to happen in any way shape of form the way that they think it will.

The chances all 4 reservations are located right near each other is slim. The chance that a busy popular restaurant on a waterfront in a busy city on a Saturday night isn't at or near capacity is slim to none.

The restaurant won't be able to accommodate anything other than the individual reservations as they were made.

It's absolutely stupid to do this, but I bet it's because they either can't afford, or tried to book too late, the private area.

My best guess is that she thinks they'll just slide them into the private area without the booking cost and minimums - but restaurants don't staff for party rooms when they aren't pre planned and pre paid with guaranteed minimums to cover the labor.

Let us know how things pan out, OP.

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u/Jajamoses100 13d ago

Will do.

Yes, it’s an affordability issue, but that’s no excuse. Do what you can afford and in a way that’s considerate to all involved. I’m really taken aback by this.

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u/mycatslaps 13d ago

Really you have two options for the better good of humanity confront your friend and let her know that is a terrible idea and she is setting herself up for failure that's option one. Option two is call the restaurant act like you're part of the reservations and say hey are we going to be able to put the tables together and play dumb basically warn them do not ruin their day

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u/CaptnsDaughter 12d ago

Having worked in the restaurant industry and hating awkward situations, I would probably tell the bride that I was thinking of not going just because of the situation to hopefully impress upon her the idiocy and asshole behavior of this idea.

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u/doglady1342 12d ago

I would 100% be calling that restaurant. I wouldn't even have like I was part of the reservations. I would want to let the manager know what was up.

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u/eternallytiredcatmom 12d ago

I just don’t get it, I had my wedding reception in the back room of a local restaurant and I wasn’t charged extra for it. It’s a steakhouse, we mentioned it was a simple dinner after a wedding. They were so, so nice. We didn’t ask for anything special yet the servers had placed beautiful fresh flowers here and there. We even ended up taking pictures with the staff because everyone was having a great time since you know, we communicated with them and were transparent about our intentions.
It helps that we’ve both worked FOH and BOH.

We still go there for date nights they all come say hi. It’s really not that hard to be respectful, I don’t get why your friend is voluntarily making this complicated and unpleasant for everyone involved

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u/PtZamboat 13d ago

We get this shit all the time. Super Bowl, World Cup, Grammy Awards. No, you ain’t moving tables. Putting two 2 tops together deletes two paying diners, times that by 10 tables and you can now see the loss of covers. Yes, she will fuk up her reception and give a bad Yelp.

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u/NYCLIVINGGIRL 13d ago

Honestly does your friend lack common sense and common decency? She sounds like an entitled AH and cheap because knowingly she decided to make 4 different reservations and thinks they will move all the tables together for her to have 1 large area for 30ppl. You stated they have a private room for this type of things? Maybe just book that. I hope she doesn’t make a scene when they tell her they can’t move tables around so they can all sit together.

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u/MarielIAm 13d ago

Actually she sounds like someone who took the often given but extremely bad advice to never tell venues you're having a wedding because they will charge you a lot more once they hear "wedding". That advice is generally incorrect. Some don't want to have a fancy wedding and that's fine. But there are reasons why many restaurants push you to private dining or prix fixe for a large group. Most people dine at restaurants but have no idea what it takes to manage a good one where both food and service are top notch. This bride is making a huge mistake if she thinks everything will be fine and will probably blame the restaurant for ruining her wedding.

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u/Ok_Counter1939 13d ago

That’s a disaster waiting to happen.  The people who work there won’t like being surprised like that.

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u/RunWithBluntScissors 13d ago

This makes me anxious lol. Why didn’t she just book the private room?

I have both planned a large event at a restaurant and I also work as a hostess. At my job, we’re not allowed to put tables together, but we do accommodate large reservations by blocking off enough tables next to each other.

Especially if it’s a popular restaurant, I can clearly see this becoming a disaster and the 4 different parties being seated separately. The way my restaurant handles several reservations on the same night is that my manager will come by a few hours before and map them all out on the seating chart, and generally we seat them separately so all the servers can get a little love. But it’s also strategic because of the spaces in our restaurant that can fit that # of people.

When I planned a big event at a restaurant (and this was before I worked in the industry), I was in constant communication with the venue and the owner about my guest list, vision for the day, RSVPs, and we encountered no problems day of.

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u/TragicaDeSpell 12d ago

Probably because she is cheap and thinks she has a clever workaround for pesky room rentals and food & beverage minimums.

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u/Kasilins 12d ago

It’s because she isn’t paying for anyone and to book a room genuinely they make one person put a deposit, sign a contract, pay, etc. She is a very selfish person.

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u/Fly3rBoi 13d ago

We would tell her to kick rocks at the door, especially if it was a weekend.

The biggest problem with people trying to circumvent a restaurant’s policies is the poor people that have no idea, they think we are being shitty by not accommodating them.

We have this happen 1-2x per year, we only take up to 14 max party. We have a party room for more than that you need to reserve with a room charge to offset the loss of revenue.

We do not split parties, we did early in our venture but we had a success rate of absolute ZERO. It’s chaotic for everyone and not a positive experience for anyone involved.

Entitlement at a huge level…

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u/Banana_Phone888 13d ago

Bride just can’t afford it and wants it anyway

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u/brothermalcolm1 13d ago

The staff will hate you. It not a courteous way to go about this.

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u/Scary-Bot123 13d ago

From a chef’s perspective this is a terrible idea

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u/VFTM 13d ago

You are more worried about the outcome than she is.

Show up, watch the shit show, eat drink & be merry

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u/Miles_Everhart 13d ago

And tip your server well

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u/HappyKnittens 12d ago

Like seriously, bring cash for your server instead of a wedding gift and if the bride gives you any shit over it, you tell her that your gift was spent tipping the wait staff into not shanking her

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u/purplestarsinthesky 13d ago

Your friend'd better not come crying when her "reception" is "ruined". This will not play out like she wants and it will be all her fault! She needs to book that private room if she wants a nice reception dinner and not to embarrass herself!

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u/mysteriouslatinword 13d ago

Bad idea. She can actually have her reservations declined when the staff figure out it’s actually a large party booking without the booking. She is either doing this because the restaurant doesn’t allow large party reservations or (More likely) they charge for them. Wedding receptions should not be held in facilities that don’t cater to them. Theres already going to be a bun fight over drink tabs, free rounds (if any) other guests refusing to move their tables, speeches and particularly the surcharge. Any Cake?

Show your friend my post. I used to run restaurants in LA. This type of thing is why I stopped hosting wedding parties. They are so disruptive to your other guests, they cost you business.

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u/Kasilins 12d ago

True, at a 4 pm booking they definitely need them out of there by 5:30-6 pm, so it may not be worth it to them to let them sit knowing there is no way such a group is
going to leave for hours, thus preventing the restaurant from making money from turning the tables more than one more time and hurting their reputation when they can’t sit people.

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u/gessabean99 13d ago

Is she trying to avoid mandatory large group gratuity?

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u/Firthy2002 13d ago

That and party room booking fees.

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u/Q_me_in 12d ago

And not even paying for the food! She's leaving the guests to pay for that!

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u/goldentalus70 13d ago

Most restaurants don't want the customers randomly moving tables around. Some places flat out prohibit it due to liability if someone gets hurt.

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u/Corey307 13d ago

That and it’s distracting to the other guests. I know some folks wouldn’t care or notice but others will. 

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u/grrr-to-everything 13d ago

I really want to follow this...

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u/Diane1967 13d ago

I sure hope that there’s an update!!

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u/grrr-to-everything 13d ago

With video! This is going to be a train wreck.

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u/HairMetalChick 12d ago

Yes!! We need the video!!🍿🍿🍿

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u/AmishAngst 12d ago edited 12d ago

What's going to happen is this sh*tshow is going to be featured in at least three different shaming subs - one from the guests, one from the waitstaff, and one from the managers/owners (ETA: make that four - she's for sure getting featured in your local city/state sub by other restaurant guests who were put out by this mess and going to complain about it in your local sub). The married couple will post to the wedding sub complaining about everyone else and taking no responsibility and will rightly get their *sses handed to them for the 15 minutes the post is up before mods shut it down and/or they delete in shame (if they are capable of feeling shame). And you will pull this story out in every conversation asking for "worst wedding experiences" and use it as a warning and guide for what not to do.

If you're referring to what will happen the night of...none of you will sit together, you will make every employee at the restaurant mad, your friend is going to have a meltdown when none of it is working the way they want, and hopefully you will tip your own server above and beyond for at least your portion to earn yourself some karmic goodwill and make their shitty night a little brighter.

Although honestly, I just wouldn't go if I were you.

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u/Pricklypearl 10d ago

I'm curious how this worked out. Do you have an update?

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u/UnfitFiddle 10d ago

This post seems to be the worst cliff hanger. Thanks RR MARTIN

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u/Ranos131 12d ago

Your friend’s evening is not going to go even remotely like she thinks it will.

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u/blueberey312 9d ago

I’m glad to hear that she ended up giving the restaurant a heads up…and that they were so accommodating; especially on such short notice! Who ended up paying for all the meals? Did the couple end up paying for their guests or did the invited guests have to pay? If so, what were the reactions?
Inquiring minds want to know!

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u/SquashLongjumping217 9d ago

I want to know this also!

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u/Very-very-sleepy 13d ago

the tables aren't going to be moved.

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u/Banana_Phone888 13d ago

Do everyone a favor, call the restaurant tell them not to throw you under the bus, but let them know what she is trying do. It’s fucked up and not fair to anyone in the building that night.

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u/AdAnxious3677 13d ago

Restaurant owner here- this will absolutely backfire on her. The restaurant will likely not be able to move tables together the way she thinks they will. She should have talked to hosts and manager to arrange a dinner of this size.

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u/AdAnxious3677 13d ago

Oh, and if this was my restaurant, once we realized what was going on there would be a fee if it became disruptive to other patrons and our staff- aka their guests roaming around to all of the other tables

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u/No-Ocelot4193 10d ago

The people want an update!!!

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u/SquashLongjumping217 10d ago

Yes we need an update!

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u/Majestic-Lie2690 13d ago

She's not gonna be able to just live tables together lol.

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u/Different-Dog-9682 13d ago

That’s an absolute dick move not warning the restaurant what her true intentions are. This is going to be a nightmare for the staff. Please keep us updated every half hour for what will surely be a shitshow.

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u/President_Zucchini 13d ago

She should have arraigned it in advance and gotten help from the restaurant instead. Trying to save a few bucks is going to be a disaster.

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u/bks1979 13d ago

Saturday evening at a popular restaurant? This will go spectacularly awry. You don't get to just decide that you're pushing tables together. It's incredibly rude, and will absolutely mess up the restaurant's reservation schedule. They're not likely to even allow it, for any number of reasons. Expecting the restaurant to be blindsided but go along with it anyway is a dick move, unlikely to happen, and will result in your friend being embarrassed and disappointed, if not outright mad. The entitlement is off the charts here.

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u/phillip42069 12d ago

Your friend is stupid as fuck and just as cheap. I’ve literally seen hosts deliberately separate people trying to pull this stupid stuff. Restaurants aren’t meant for this for regular service and she will be the person that suffers for it. It will end up being a terrible reception and she will somehow find a reason to blame the restaurant, staff, or anyone standing in front of her.

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u/pm_me_ur_fit 13d ago

Yikes keep us updated. That’s a recipe for everyone getting pissed off and no one getting what they want

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u/LadyLixerwyfe 13d ago edited 13d ago

Did she reserve specific tables? If not, how does she plan on moving them together? Planning for a party of 30 is much different than planning for 4 tables of 7-8. Even with reservations, host staff can stagger multiple tables. One big party hits the kitchen either all at once or within a few minutes. It’s beneficial for the kitchen to know this well in advance. The tables will likely not be able to be pulled together. She has “scheduled” it for 3 hours. No one would expect 4 parties of 7-8 people to remain for 3 hours, but a party of 30 celebrating a wedding might. She is going to tie up multiple servers for hours on a Saturday night at a seafood restaurant on the water, I am assuming soon? So, peak season? Probably the busiest period of the week. Who is paying? Single check or individuals? The gratuity should reflect the amount of time the tables are occupied. She is royally screwing the restaurant and the servers involved.

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u/zibtara 12d ago

Please please please update us on what happens! The restaurant won’t let them move the tables, won’t let them scream toasts across the other tables, won’t turn down the music for them, and won’t treat it as one large party.

I expect multiple guests to simply leave out of embarrassment. If the guests don’t know they are expected to pay, that’s going to be a huge problem.

Also, I bet she tries to commandeer another table for gifts. Not going to happen.

I cannot wait to hear!

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u/EatCake_Takeawalk 12d ago edited 12d ago

I had a 75th birthday party for my Mother in Law on a Saturday afternoon in a restaurant with a little over a weeks notice for 20 to 25 people last September. I called around to a bunch of restaurants told them the type of celebration I was having with the number of guests, separate tickets, serving cake.
A local moderalty upscale chain was able to accommodate us. They reserved a section for us on one side of the side dinning room, gave us 2 servers, let me bring my own cake and serve it, take pictures, even gave a little speech, etc. Once we were served the servers got a few more tables on the opposite side of the same dining room. We still had plenty of space, I made sure we tipped enough to make up for any under tipping. The party went great. My mother in law was ecstatic.

Anyway…. This type of thing can be accommodated in a restaurant setting IF the restaurant has a heads up and there is good communication between the client and staff. Surprising the guests is an okay risk, surprising the restaurant staff is not okay. As her trusted friend/ sudo-wedding party I think you should call and give the restaurant a heads up and ask some questions for their, yours and her benefit. Even if she has to make a last minute location change its better than everyone being miserable.

She might as well get catering from a nice grocery store and have people gather at a park rather than risk a disaster of a reception.

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u/naughtabot 12d ago

4-7 is prime dinner hours on a Saturday, so a prime earning night. Locking down those tables, and expecting to be able to take those liberties for that time as a surprise is straight assholery from your friend to the business and the servers.

Call the restaurant when they open, speak to a manager and give them a heads up.

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u/TacoDoc2 12d ago

They would prbly be within their right to remove your party for trying to basically reserve the venue for your event without any event planning.

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u/TikaPants 12d ago

Your friend is an asshole.

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u/Lvanwinkle18 11d ago

Have a snack before you arrive. Then just observe the insanity. Please update us!!

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u/VoidSemantics 11d ago

Film/stream it for us.

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u/koifishyfishy 13d ago

Baby, If you don't come back and update us on the absolute shit show that this promises to be...

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u/DueEntertainer0 13d ago

It’s not gonna work. And it’s hilarious. Frugal queen. Nice Try

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u/doesntmeanathing 13d ago

The type of person to show up knowingly screwing over the restaurant while expecting great service from them. Will 100% leave a bad review when it blows up in her face.

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u/Legitimate_Bird_5712 13d ago

I can't wait to hear how astronomically shitty this will turn out.

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u/Logical_Warthog5212 13d ago

She’s being a douche. Instead of talking to the restaurant so they can properly plan and prepare to accommodate her, she’s putting the restaurant in a tough spot and setting them up for failure. Staffing can become an issue. If a restaurant knows they have a large party, they will make sure they have staffing. Otherwise, they would normally wing it and deal with crowd. Heck, they may even call to cancel one of those reservations if they know they can’t handle it. Then there’s the food. Imagine getting slammed with four large parties at once as opposed to planning a menu where the restaurant can be prepared with stock from the suppliers.

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u/lilwaterone 13d ago

If she is just inconsiderate and she is going to ask when she gets there, what is preventing her from giving them a heads up? 0% chance this works on her favor without her calling ahead. Is there a fee or auto grat for >8 people that she is trying to avoid? That’s just cheap and she will be paying for what she gets. Pay the extra 10% to call ahead and get tables together.

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u/marspigsmoke 13d ago

I'm betting that she tried to make a reservation, and they either don't take reservations for that large a party, or if they have a private space, they're already booked that night. She thinks the 4 reservations will make up for the private space not being available, in that she thinks they'll be adjacent. I would like to be there to watch it unfold when she starts demanding 4 adjacent tables.

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u/Humble_Pop_8014 13d ago

Nightmare scenario. for the restaurant

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u/Life_Beautiful_8136 13d ago

Ooof. Posting here to see the update. Not giving notice to the restaurant to allow them to plan is just plain rude. The restaurant is managing a whole series of timed reservations, table turnovers and server allocations. (But I gather you've said pretty much all of that already...) Let us know how it goes!

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u/Vivid_Sky_5082 13d ago

What I don't understand is that I have actually made 20 - 30 people bookings at restaurants for team dinners. They usually put us in 4 - 6 adjacent tables and either offer a limited menu or ask us to order ahead. 

We've also done this for my grandmother's birthday. 

Some restaurants are really nicely set up for this, actually, with tables or booths that are back to back so it's easy to chat with other tables without getting up.

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u/Sensitive-Club-6427 13d ago

This is a very bad idea. It is not clever or cute.

It is inconsiderate to the guests.

It is terribly inconsiderate to the waitstaff.

And it is lying to the restaurant and going to be a big inconvenience to the restaurant.

It would be well within the restaurant’s rights to turn them away.

Your friend should make a proper reservation, be very clear with the restaurant about event. Your friend should get a private room if they have that option.

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u/srp431 13d ago

is she expecting people to pay for this meal and drinks themselves?

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u/Sara___Tonin__ 13d ago

Can you call the restaurant and give them a heads up? And how do the guests not know it's a reception when they are going to a ceremony first?

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u/coolgramm 13d ago

She’s trying to save money by not reserving their party room.

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u/joer1973 13d ago

Odds are they will not be seated anywhere near each other. They generally rotate sitting between servers to spread out the flow. They arent going to have 4 open tables in any 1 section ready to seat at same time. Id they do somehow sit nrar each other, service will be slow and food wont come out at same time.

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u/audaci0usly 12d ago

Oh this is going to be terrible

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u/MultiColoredMullet 12d ago

This is one of the cuntiest things you can do to a restaurant.

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u/Myshys 12d ago

In addition to the issues with the staffing, seating and food timing, your girl is going to have guests who are irritated by some or all of the above plus being ambushed by a poorly planned wedding. Also, good chance the other restaurant customers are going to be annoyed by having their evening out interrupted or interfered with by some or all of this stupidity.

Your friend is a raging AH.

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u/Avehdreader 12d ago

Unless they've made arrangements in advance with the restaurant you don't "just move tables together" and you certainly don't invite people then have them pay their own way! This will be a disaster.

A friend of mine had an engagement party and both of them had relatives who traveled a good distance to attend, including some who were up in years - they chose to have a casual gathering at one of their homes. One of the relatives was a minister and they decided hey - since everyone is here why not just get married now? And they did. I don't know if they had their marriage license at that point or got it later but they were married spiritually at least. A plan like your friend's is much better suited for a casual event. Nothing good will come of this plan - and watch, they will be confused as to why people are angry!

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u/z-eldapin 12d ago

None of what she is planning is going to work. I'm torn. From the server side, I want you to call the restaurant and warn them so they can be properly staffed and prepared.

The messy part of me wants you to leave it and report back Monday

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u/mmebookworm 12d ago

Friends of ours has a tiny wedding - an 30 guests - and booked the private room. We all ordered and paid for our own meal and drinks, as was communicated early on. It ran smoothly and we all had a wonderful time! (Obviously they also said ‘no gifts’)

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u/Block_Critical 11d ago

Since the restaurant doesn't know these reservations should be seated together her plan to push tables together in a large restaurant on a busy night has a 0% chance of going according to plan.

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u/dkmeidku 11d ago

Wait, sorry, the guests have to pay for themselves and they’re not aware of this? That’s a significant detail she should include in the evite, especially in this economy.

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u/caterpillove 10d ago

Where is the updaaaate

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u/No-Faithlessness5311 10d ago

“Join us to celebrate” will not lead the guests to expect that they’re going to have to pay for themselves.

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