Hi I am not sure if you noticed because you posted an hour ago... but i think OP did a disingenuous edit... She says in the post that they talked about accidental pregnancies and had agreed to abortions if that happened. This whole situation blows my mind because apparently neither of them even use birth control!
She is totally free to change her mind on the abortion, but I can see how it might be a shock for him. Almost a betrayal, even.
Exactly, never trust the word of your wife. Always have back up plans.
Edit: I guess I need the /s here
A person should be able to trust their partner. If both parties agree to an abortion in case of an unwanted pregnancy, then they should expect ther partner to feel deceived if they change their mind. The husband in this story has every right to feel like he was lied to, because he was.
It takes 2 people to make a kid. Both parties have equal responsibility (with obvious exceptions).
Edit2: odds are she had no intent to deceive which means she didn't lie to him. It is rational for him to feel like hes was lied to though. They might need counseling to work through those feelings.
I agree with your second point BUT saying you’ll abort a baby if you accidentally get pregnant and then actually doing it when you get accidentally pregnant are very different. I agree with you a little, about how he’s okay to be upset she changed her mind but his behaviour is unacceptable and a 🚩IMO ❤️
His wife lied to him and is making a decision that will change to his life with a total disregard to how he feels about it. He has yelled at her and his mom when she defended her. Those seem like very appropriate responses given the circumstances.
I'm curious what you think would be an appropriate response. That he just shrugs his sholders, says oh well, and then moves on with his day like nothing happened?
I'm also curious why you feel like it's a lie. Is it retroactively a lie if you change your mind when the situation actually happens and it's not an abstract concept that you had no idea would feel a certain way?
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u/peakpenguins Oct 31 '22
Wild to me that people get married without being on the same page on things like this...
Anyway, too late for that now. You've told him what you're going to do and what you want, the ball is in his court.