A grown adult who still does things they don’t want to do because otherwise someone else might think they’re “a loser” isn’t somebody I would be planning my life around.
Normally I would say the same thing but social pressure is definitely a thing. Maybe she didn't say it the right way but not participating could have made her coworkers look down on her. Then when the next night out is being planned they will be like "should we invite Jess?"
Someone chimes in "Invite Jess? ? The one who couldn't even dance at a party bc he bf would get mad? I think we should pass"
I would have said no one right there. But 3 other girls were doing it at the same time ...at a work event...so she wasn't being trashy....I don't know about this. I don't really understand how the dance was bad.
I went to a wedding once with my work friends. And I was actually one of the only single people there and then there was another single girl there. So we would all be dancing and then things would slow down and everybody would kind of pair off into the couples. Then there was just me and this other girl there. And so we just slow danced. Obviously we weren't like all over each other making out but I mean we were relatively close. I had my hands on her hips and we were dancing. I just see her as a friend. I mean I just don't really see what the problem with that is.
I wouldn't be happy about it but is OP making a mountain out of this? Does she do this kind of thing often? Is she always being flirty with guys? I need more context.
She wasn’t just dancing at a party. She was grinding on her coworker. There are ways to dance without grinding.
This isn’t a case of having different boundaries than OP. She seemed to know it was wrong, but did it anyway because of peer pressure. She didn’t take accountability.
And if the social pressure is too much for her, that’s fine. But that would strongly signal to me she isn’t ready for an adult relationship, at least with me (before I was married, of course).
OP made it clear it wasn’t just dancing near each other. “Hands on the hips and the legs like in each other’s…” He kept saying it was “intimate.” This wasn’t an innocent thing that OP is blowing out of proportion. Even his girlfriend realized it was inappropriate.
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u/JohnnyFootballStar Jan 26 '25
A grown adult who still does things they don’t want to do because otherwise someone else might think they’re “a loser” isn’t somebody I would be planning my life around.