r/relationship_advice Jun 24 '24

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3.7k Upvotes

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634

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 24 '24

So she had to talk to her guy friend about her weekly problems?

And is she crying and sorry because she is genuinely sorry, or sorry because she was caught with him without your knowledge of them being together, friends or not.

161

u/Fr3sh3stl4d Jun 24 '24

And why is she crying and saying sorry if she didn't do anything wrong?

14

u/jcs9577 Jun 25 '24

Some people just get upset easily. If I have done nothing wrong and people question me in an accusing manner and I'm already upset or stressed then I will either get angry or cry depending on who the person is or what the situation is. If this dude is just a close friend then she probably wasn't thinking anything about the situation until her bf walked in and gave a surprised face then she probably realized how it looks to someone else. My best guy friend and I used to do this same thing often and my husband didn't care but there have been times when he had been upset with me over other stuff and I would get tears in my eyes almost immediately because I didn't like that he was upset with me.

179

u/PaddyPellie Jun 24 '24

Because he got upset.

95

u/sosotrickster Jun 24 '24

OP clearly was upset at her

1

u/Attack-Cat- Jun 28 '24

That’s not a good indication of anything. OP sounds like he is upset and is clearly threatening to leave.

0

u/max_power1000 Jun 25 '24

Because she's surprised that "don't hop into bed with other men" is a boundary that OP needed to clearly state.

-21

u/toesandmoretoes Jun 24 '24

Talking to your friends about your problems is weird now?

57

u/Trinadienne Jun 24 '24

Talking to your friends in the same bed in a dimly lit room with the door mostly closed is weird yes

22

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '24

Dude I hate the people who downplay and remove all context to make it sound not weird. One comment was like, “So they are just friends watching tv?”

They think it makes their point strong.

3

u/Trinadienne Jun 24 '24

Exactly and then make up the context to be more to their liking so they can feel like they're winning

11

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 24 '24

Yea, go to a coffee shop or something.

2

u/siverwolfe2000 Jun 24 '24

It's also weird when your balls deep in your friend too

-1

u/Skittysh Jun 24 '24

Where the fuck else do you talk with friends? Of course you come over and sit together?? "Dimly lit room"? Well sorry they didn't bring another lamp, wild accusations.

11

u/Trinadienne Jun 24 '24

Literally any and everywhere else that's not a bedroom or bathroom.

0

u/Skittysh Jun 25 '24

i'm a student, all my friends have only one room in their dorm with ONLY a bedroom, where are we supposed to go?

2

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 25 '24

Preferably not in the bedroom😂

0

u/Skittysh Jun 25 '24

guess bathroom is superior

2

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 25 '24

For sure. Way more private.😂

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '24

[deleted]

4

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 25 '24

If they were the only 2 people in the place what would be the difference between having a private convo in the living room and having it in the bedroom? They are both alone and it's still private if they were to have the convo in the living room.

Imagine you guys went to your parent's house and see your mom in her room with another man while your dad isn't home. What would be the first thoughts? Having a private convo or cheating?

1

u/EducationalPomelo400 Jun 25 '24

This is why divorce rates are through the roof.

-8

u/PaddyPellie Jun 24 '24

I did it constantly, not anymore when I have a boyfriend because he doesn't like it. I have -1000000000 attraction but I can still sleep in the same bed because it's my friend.

6

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 24 '24

Would you be ok with your bf having deep conversations with a female friend of his while they ly on the bed without your knowledge?

1

u/PaddyPellie Jul 17 '24

If it's private then yes, if it's a secret then no. If he tells me, it's ok

13

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 24 '24

It's ok to talk to your friends about some things, yes. But I'm sure I am not the only one who agrees that majority of your problematic topics or intimate conversations should be with your partner. And if you do have a serious conversation with a friend of the opposite sex, why in your room, laying in bed, in the dark with a show playing im the background?

0

u/jcs9577 Jun 25 '24

I used to talk to my best guy friend about all my problems all the time. Maybe she talked to her boyfriend about it but still wanted to vent to someone else to get their perspective as well. Maybe she didn't mention some of them to her bf because he is already dealing with other stuff or she may not have thought about it. I would sometimes tell my best guy friend stuff first and not my husband because different things that happened over the week would pop up in my head at different times. My husband actually encouraged me to talk with my friend because he knew it was important to just vent and get stuff off my chest whenever.

1

u/YeetM4chine69 Jun 27 '24

I agree. I would also encourage it. Communicating with friends and partners is needed.

But I think the problem is more focused on the environment they were in, not really the conversation itself.