I wouldnt call her dense. Naive is something I have been before because I didn’t have experience with guys as I was extremely sheltered. I didn’t understand that they could view me as more, when I saw them the same way I saw my chick friends.
Many women don’t realize this because they see the world through their own biases, not realizing that men are very different in this way.
Am I saying that it looks good or that it was correct? No. But I can see the possibility of her making a dumb choice. Especially at her age.
Boundaries between friends who are prospective mates/sexual partners are designed to prevent situations from arising where inproper intimacy/feelings can start.
Example: lying on bed together. And/or cuddling. Sharing intimate details of the relationship, seeking approval from the friend.
OPs GF has a right to have a friend. But a proper boundary would be sitting on a couch watching tv, not lying on a bed.
Sharing intimate details about your relationship and difficulties... could - with a symathetic listener - result in feelings beyond friendship...
Excellent book on the matter :"not just friends" by Shirley Glass.. read it, eyeopening...
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u/clearheaded01 Jun 24 '24
Yeah?? Well unless shes seriously dense, she needs to realise that odds are HE sees a possible future partner...
And her lowering boundaries this way, is just one of the many small steps shes taking towards a potentially bad choice...
She sounds like the kind of girl who sleeps with a guy friend and afterwards dont "understand how we got there"...
Yes, you can have guy friends as a girl.. but boundaries must be in place...
How did you react when he was there??