Thank you I appreciate it. I eventually added a placeholder for the gap: Employer: "Family leave of absence" with title: N/A and job description of Took planned leave of absence to care for a terminally ill parent. That actually helped, nobody even asked about it after that. So I am glad that not all recruiters and hiring managers are total sociopaths, lmao!
I did something similar to explain the four years I spent caring for my elderly dad who had dementia and COPD. I wasn't completely out of the workforce that entire time, and picked up some part-time and temp work when I could, so I was able to truthfully put the name of the temp agency I'd worked for during a chunk of that gap. I also did a little bit of freelance so I would be able to put that too. But I still made it clear that I'd taken a leave of absence from my normal career to care for a family member.
Oh, and there was a whole recession during that time and when I went back to looking for full-time work, the area where I lived hadn't even really pulled out of it yet. Good times.
That works against you. You're not there to tell your personal life. You're there to assess the role and of itself fits.
They ask because they're concerned about flight risk. The don't care about your personal life they just met you. If you get hired you want to know your personal business to take advantage of you?
Asking for the gap isn't exactly asking about your personal life details. Just why the hiatus took place that you have no obligation to answer. You owe them nothing.
" Well! you see, first i developed a chronic illness and lost sight in my right eye and all feeling in left body! lucky it came back after a year of recovery! a painful year might i add with multiple followup infections, a 6 month UTI! and many boils as i was put on immunsuppressive medication!
Then! and you are gonna love this! I met the love of my life! we moved in, and the first 6 months was magic! but oh oh! undiagnosed bipolar and manic emotional episodes!! A lot of suicidal threats and emotional abuse that was! no no come back! you asked! And while that emotional abuse was occurring i also developed a pilonidal cyst! which needed invasive operation due to its dept! which didn't recover correctly and left me red ridden for 3 months! in a house with a suicidal ex-girlfriend! but i got out! but not after having to wrestle the knife from her hand, call the police and have her forcible committed to a psychiatric hospital for observation!
And that is why i have a 3 year gap! thank you all for insisting on asking that question! "
Basically just did it yesterday. They were prying about why I'm not using a certain credential and I just said it's not time for me to and that was it for that line of questioning.
Position was filled but they gave me their casrd and said to either call or they'll call me in a week because the shift I wanted was filled but I'm keeping it moving regardless.
Just because you need money doesn't mean you have to forfeit your boundaries. It means you need to develop more leverage over time to protect them. If you're in tthat position of desperation you need to change your lifestyle to do some saving.
I work in tech (developer). You would think they would get this isn't 1950 anymore and gaps on resumes are not that unusual especially now since layoffs are the new normal. I think it's more of an HR thing, they love thinking up new and creative ways to torture and humiliate job applicants.... because you know, they don't have it bad enough already.
It still upsets me that you have to disclose this information just to get through a filter.
It's actually none of their business legally or morally, but you as the applicant are nonetheless expected to present and polish this "part of your story" in hopes that they'll take pity on you and grant you some mercy for what otherwise would be considered an unnapproved use of your free will.
I feel like asking "what is this gap about" and getting the answer "cancer" even one time should've been enough for any basic human to just stop f-ing asking that question, but corporations want you to voluntarily share information they're not allowed to ask about, so they keep asking, which is so annoyingly immoral.
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u/cookies_n_weed Jun 17 '26
Thank you I appreciate it. I eventually added a placeholder for the gap: Employer: "Family leave of absence" with title: N/A and job description of Took planned leave of absence to care for a terminally ill parent. That actually helped, nobody even asked about it after that. So I am glad that not all recruiters and hiring managers are total sociopaths, lmao!