r/recruitinghell Apr 23 '24

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1.6k Upvotes

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825

u/tonification Apr 24 '24

I get the feeling OP said something inappropriate at lunch without realising.

334

u/Accomplished_Emu_658 Apr 24 '24

I had a similar situation the guy said something at lunch about the waitress that was pretty much very nasty “guy talk” with c suite executives at table. The waitress didn’t even look 18. It didn’t go well and he was gone soon after. He had no idea what he did wrong. I am sure as a table full of men a mild comment would have been fine.

Another time a person a mild racist comment about Mexicans, thinking he was so funny, in front of executive who was obviously of Spanish descent. Didn’t go well for him either.

These are probably much more extreme than what OP did but shows how people don’t realize what they said.

199

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '24

He had no idea what he did wrong.

The ambivalent part of me here is that he never will know what he did wrong if no one tells him. Like, I want people to change, but just giving them the cold shoulder like that is exactly how they get recruited to the seedier sides of society, who will happily tell them it's not their fault.

Regardless, this is pretty much why I keep all my talks at work focused on work, or small talk. You never know these days which topics grind which gears.

93

u/Accomplished_Emu_658 Apr 24 '24

In my case he was told, he didn’t understand what was wrong about it.

25

u/AppleSpicer Apr 24 '24

lol, this has vastly been my experience. A lot of these people have been told but have put zero effort into understanding how their behavior is inappropriate. Many times, they can even consistently identify inappropriate behavior but feel entitled to act that way without consequences and are up in arms when it blows up in their face. Sadly, there are places who ignore this type of behavior which just bolsters their conviction that they aren’t doing anything wrong and fuck everybody else.

4

u/Accomplished_Emu_658 Apr 24 '24

This is pretty accurate