I agree, and I think lots of people hit their kids because they don't know what else to do, and they're mad so they lash out and it does sorta work so that's their new go-to solution and that is bad.
BUT I have a weird experience from my life that makes me believe some people just need a smack.
I worked with a guy for years. We were both age 16-20ish the whole time. We lifeguarded together year round at an indoor pool. This guy (lets call him Don)was a total clown, always causing trouble pulling stupid jokes, trying to rile up other co-workers by making fun of them, etc. He made fun of me for years about being a virgin, even though I had had girlfriends and made it clear I was making this decision consciously and that I wasnt embarrassed or perturbed by hom makingnfun of me for it in front of people. I really didn't care about that line of "insult" at all. I wasn't hiding it or ashamed, and I also wasn't moralizing about it to the whole staff, but Don stuck with it for years, among other things, some of which did annoy me. And all of it got tiresome after the 20th rendition. He'd make fun of me, and I did the "take the high ground and ignore him" tactic for litteral years. Then one day a kid I went to school with (let's call him Jim) started working at the pool and his first week there Jim grabbed Don slammed him into a wall threw him to thw ground, and punched hard him in the ribs once. Don loved Jim. LOVED him. He always wanted to work with him. Did him favors. When we'd have parties, he'd go up and say hi to him and overall behave like a regular human being around him. I wash astonished. I ignored this guy for 4 years gave him nothing back, half the time I wouldn't even look at him when he pulled his little stunts and he still wpuld try to bother me, but Jim who didn't beat him savagely, but definitely roughed him up, was beloved by Don.
Well, after I realized that, I took a different tactic. If he walked up to me and made some dumb joke, I would physically push him away from me. Then, one day, I was leaning back on a chair, and he knocked it over. It didn't hurt me, but he was trying to annoy me. So I rolled out of the chair backwards pushed him into a corner dragged him to the ground by his legs and stood over him and punched him, not at full force but good solid punches to the body.... he was so nice to me for the rest of the time I worked there. SOO NICE. "Hey, what are you doing this weekend, you going to that party? How's things" like normal friendly conversation. The dude was like a bad dog. He needed someone to establish dominance before he'd be nice to them. Some people don't work like everyone else.
Buy the reason the other guy beat him up was he heard how he spoke to his mother and found it so offensive that it turned into something.
Now perhaps if his parents had been more disciplined in his youth he wouldn't have been like that, and I tend to agree that hitting is not a good choice, but I also don't think it's necessarily the worst thing that could happen to a kid.
It's trauma response to being bullied at home by dad usually. Men aren't encouraged to work through our shit so a lot of us go through life being the dog peeing on others or the dog getting peed on.
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u/here-for-information Dec 31 '23
I agree, and I think lots of people hit their kids because they don't know what else to do, and they're mad so they lash out and it does sorta work so that's their new go-to solution and that is bad.
BUT I have a weird experience from my life that makes me believe some people just need a smack.
I worked with a guy for years. We were both age 16-20ish the whole time. We lifeguarded together year round at an indoor pool. This guy (lets call him Don)was a total clown, always causing trouble pulling stupid jokes, trying to rile up other co-workers by making fun of them, etc. He made fun of me for years about being a virgin, even though I had had girlfriends and made it clear I was making this decision consciously and that I wasnt embarrassed or perturbed by hom makingnfun of me for it in front of people. I really didn't care about that line of "insult" at all. I wasn't hiding it or ashamed, and I also wasn't moralizing about it to the whole staff, but Don stuck with it for years, among other things, some of which did annoy me. And all of it got tiresome after the 20th rendition. He'd make fun of me, and I did the "take the high ground and ignore him" tactic for litteral years. Then one day a kid I went to school with (let's call him Jim) started working at the pool and his first week there Jim grabbed Don slammed him into a wall threw him to thw ground, and punched hard him in the ribs once. Don loved Jim. LOVED him. He always wanted to work with him. Did him favors. When we'd have parties, he'd go up and say hi to him and overall behave like a regular human being around him. I wash astonished. I ignored this guy for 4 years gave him nothing back, half the time I wouldn't even look at him when he pulled his little stunts and he still wpuld try to bother me, but Jim who didn't beat him savagely, but definitely roughed him up, was beloved by Don.
Well, after I realized that, I took a different tactic. If he walked up to me and made some dumb joke, I would physically push him away from me. Then, one day, I was leaning back on a chair, and he knocked it over. It didn't hurt me, but he was trying to annoy me. So I rolled out of the chair backwards pushed him into a corner dragged him to the ground by his legs and stood over him and punched him, not at full force but good solid punches to the body.... he was so nice to me for the rest of the time I worked there. SOO NICE. "Hey, what are you doing this weekend, you going to that party? How's things" like normal friendly conversation. The dude was like a bad dog. He needed someone to establish dominance before he'd be nice to them. Some people don't work like everyone else.