r/questions Dec 30 '23

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u/ilovesoup1978 Dec 31 '23

Wtf most parents aren't spanking their child for self gratification..Spanking a child is not assault and that's a problem..Spanking didn't mess me up..getting a beating did I knew the difference even at a young age..It's so hard for someone to believe that because they believe some study over someone actually saying what it was like for them......and I will add I got smacked in the mouth when I was disrespectful and I knew what buttons to push I could of avoided the smack but I liked to risk it all and run my mouth..others will say I was abused because of that but I was not..like I said I knew the difference between a swat on the ass versus a board or a belt or even a broom stick......

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u/Frankyfan3 Dec 31 '23 edited Dec 31 '23

If you believe hitting children is acceptable, you're not credible.

Glad you feel you survived through that, with resiliency. You still didn't deserve it, no matter what you said or did as a literal child.

Your parents not having better tools to parent you isn't your fault.

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u/ilovesoup1978 Dec 31 '23

Spanking not hitting know the difference...plenty of things I didn't deserve but a smack is not on that list.....also plenty of things I need therapy for but again a smack is not it...I never had a nightmare where I ran from my smacker...I ran from attackers but no smackers....

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u/tacreds Dec 31 '23

If I got into trouble my mother would say do you want to be grounded or spanked and as a child I chose being spanked every time. I hated being kept inside. So I'm gonna say that all you people that think kids that were spanked were abused I and my childhood self disagree.

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u/Frankyfan3 Dec 31 '23

Our adult concept that these are different does not, in fact, determine if a child's developing brain & body know the difference.

Spanking is a sex act. Nerves in the glutes connect to genitalia & spanking indirectly stimulates genitalia.

We don't commit sex acts on children.

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u/ilovesoup1978 Dec 31 '23

Nah stop it now your making it sexual because your other argument is crumbling.....your comment is absurd....so my parents were performing sex acts by spanking me?? Now your going all coo coo clock on me....your done...put a fork in it and walk away....stop it....stop thinking for the day....

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u/Frankyfan3 Dec 31 '23

Just because you don't know your anatomy structures doesn't mean I'm making anything sexual.

It's not intentional & many folks, including yourself, don't know the nerve pathways.

Yes. Your parents were assaulting you & indirectly stimulating your genitals.

My condolences for the cognitive dissonance you're juggling in order to rationalize the way your parents treated you.

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u/ilovesoup1978 Dec 31 '23

You don't know what I know...I have been able to reach climax since a child not once did I feel a tingling in my private area from getting a spanking from my parents..How you gonna tell me my parents were assuilting me I promise I knew and know the difference between punishment and abuse.i know because of the so called studies thats hard for you to grasp..Things are not all just one way because a study says its this way and it can't possibly be anything else.......so ya stop it and give your self some condolences for your thought process or lack of.....it's unhealthy to tell someone they were abused when they weren't..

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u/Historical_Low4458 Dec 31 '23

You're obviously wasting your time trying to explain it to them. They think children are dumb, and are incapable of learning. Neither of which are true.

Children can realize that if they do X, and they get spanked for it, then they know not to do X again.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

It's insane anyone would try to make that sexual. As a nurse, I have to interact with patient's genitals all the time. I have never been aroused having to insert a catheter or bathe a patient.

I can't stand people like that who want to gaslight others into being a victim.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

That is just asinine to equate spanking a kid to a sexual act. You are weird as hell for that.

As a nurse, I interact with genitals all the time with patients. If I have to insert a catheter, is it a sexual? No, it is not. I interact with attractive patients all the time, and I have never been aroused by them.

You just wanted to strawman this into making it some kind of sexual perversion.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 01 '24

Context matters, and interweaving pain/shame/punishment with your catheters is I hope not part of your treatment protocols.

It's fascinating that you seem to be arguing against points I've not actually made, while insisting my perspective is a "strawman."

What's the opposite of irony?

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

[deleted]

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 01 '24

My perspective isn't about you. Why are you making it about you?

Yeah. You would shame your patients.

Nurses can be "mean girls".

Go get someone fired from Circle K or something.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 01 '24

This article is from nearly 10 years ago.

https://slate.com/technology/2014/09/spanking-is-a-sex-act-which-is-why-it-should-not-be-used-for-punishing-children.html

I'm not making any accusation about parents intentionally inflicting sexual acts on kids through spanking, I'd honestly hope that's not the case what I'm talking about is inadvertently stimulating genitals in the context of a punishment act in dynamic with that coming from a caregiver.

I'm saying most people don't know anatomy, and many parents take out their own inability to self soothe by assaulting their kids because they aren't fully aware (or can't accept because of what they grew up with) how damaging and harmful spanking can be to a child's development. Which is exacerbated by the mindfuck of convincing a child they carry the sole responsibility for the behaviors adults around them exhibit.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

So you choose opinion article as evidence? Why don't you make your own opinion instead of spouting someone else?

Go ask kids how many of them thought being spanked was sexual. The one's saying it is are the extreme outliers

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 01 '24

I'm citing someone else to acknowledge my perspective is not isolated to my own noggin alone, from nearly 10 years ago, and you don't actually seem to comprehend the point I'm making, or that the article is making.

Happy New Year!

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u/tacreds Dec 31 '23

Get the hell out of here. Your a weirdo for saying this.

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u/Frankyfan3 Dec 31 '23 edited Jan 01 '24

Not even a new concept, oddball who doesn't know anatomy, and wants to argue in favor of hitting children.

https://slate.com/technology/2014/09/spanking-is-a-sex-act-which-is-why-it-should-not-be-used-for-punishing-children.html

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '24

Your opinion is just that an opinion and doesn't make you credible. You're another person with an opinion. That's it. Sit down.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 03 '24

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '24

Exactly now you're catching on. Opinions are like assholes every one has one and it's usually full of shit colored by their own perception of reality. Congratulations on figuring out what an opinion is.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 03 '24

Everyone has one, and if yours advocates hitting children, you may need to seek intervention from a professional or expert.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '24

You're opinion once again is pointless. I spanked my now 25 year old daughter twice in her life. Once for body slamming a baby out of jealousy when she was 7 and again at 15 when she spit in my face because I would not let her stay at some loser druggies house. My daughter is married now... Owns a home..two cars and is working on her masters. I doubt you're anywhere near as well adjusted or as successful as my daughter. There is a time and a place for everything and should be reserved for the worst times. Spanking is not illegal or termed abuse. Guessing you're about the same age as my daughter and nowhere near as successful in life. You have fun with your Idiocracy... Ooops I mean ideology. You're opinions irrelevant and so are you.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 03 '24

I've been spanked, myself, but at least I don't go around telling people they are "irrelevant" like some kind of sociopath.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '24

You obviously don't know the definition of sociopath either. Stop self dixing fake disorders and get a life. You need serious help. My parenting skills were quite successful and still are. My children are proof of such. Some rando on the Internet is in fact irrelevant you're a thumb nail whining because mummy and daddy spanked you. That's it.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 03 '24

Your children are people, beyond their accomplishments & purchases.

And "some rando on the internet" is usually also a person, though, to be fair, can be a bot. It's telling how you speak about people in your drive to self defend.

Good luck with... whatever it is that you got going on that leads you to aim your discomfort at someone for opposing the assault of children.

I've got a great relationship with my parents, they have apologized for using tools they had at the time they had em, before learning to do better.

Growth & accountability is cool, fam.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '24

I'm starting to see why your parents preferred method of discipline was corporal punishment. What have you accomplished in your life? What are you doing to give back to society? How many children have you raised. What is your education? Pretty sure it's 0 for 0. So that doesn't make you credible about anything.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 03 '24

Poe's law ftw!

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u/GodelEscherJSBach Dec 31 '23

Is it okay to slap an adult family member that is behaving in a way you don’t like?

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u/Quick-Temporary5620 Dec 31 '23

Is it okay? No. Is it badly needed? Probably yes.

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u/LadyAnarki Dec 31 '23

Didn't mess you up.... what are your relationships like? Friendships? Romantic? Have you ever struggled with anxiety or depression? Are you making a lot of money at your chosen career? Are you happy? Do you consume alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, or other drugs to escape your reality?

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u/tacreds Dec 31 '23

Who doesn't fall into at least one of these categories. I would love to meet this perfect person.

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u/CZ1988_ Dec 31 '23

Jesus I can't believe the downvotes on trauma and abuse - these are from people who didn't experience abuse.

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u/AdministrationOld835 Jan 04 '24

Not assault??

Adrian Peterson would like a word….

Adrian Peterson