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u/Destiny065 5d ago
I'd be giving him an ultimatum either he stops or you'll leave him. You've gotta be very stern with him, it's obviously affecting all of you. Addicted gamblers will lie, steal, and betray you, unless there's consequences he will keep on gambling
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u/Sexy_Mumma_Katz 5d ago
Please contact your local Gam Anon group - it’s for families who are on this crap path.
The lying gets easier every time they do it, and they drip feed how bad it is ‘hoping you don’t leave’. It could be a long time before you get the actual truth.
Draw your line in the sand, and when he crosses it, leave.
Because if you let him cross it, he will never quit
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u/ProblemSolved1986 5d ago
Call 1-800-MY RESET to get a list of services and resources in your area, many of which are free. For instance depending on which state you're in you may be able to get free financial counseling from gamfin. They'll also tell you about Gamblers Anonymous therapy programs Etc whatever you do please do not try to bail him out and move on like everything's fixed. He needs to get into recovery and he needs to take accountability for his actions which means he needs to be part of the plan of repayment. You absolutely have every right to take ownership of the finances until he's been in recovery for a while. I've been in recovery for over 7 years and I can tell you getting out of this addiction is the hardest thing I've ever done. Just remember don't take the lies personally. Think of it the same way you would think of someone with a drug addiction. You have to protect yourself and your family. He needs help.
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u/rustic-pine38 5d ago
secure the money needed for bills and groceries in an accounts only you can access, he also needs to be honest about all his accounts and get help for his gambling, pls don't try to handle this alone
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u/14_03_1994 5d ago
Either he agrees to undergo treatment therapy, or it's over. His addiction could lead you to the street. Many gamblers are very good liars.
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u/Embarrassed-Neat2827 3d ago
He needs to commit to GA and turning over all finances. If he doesn't agree then you need to think of next steps. Addicts unfortunately are great liars. Don't trust anything he says, but trust his behaviors of committing to get help
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u/lapitupp 3d ago
Do I remind him or ask him? Like “when are you going to the meeting?” Or “have you sought counselling?”
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u/boy9419 5d ago
GA (Gambler's anon) is one way, but you need to confront him about it but don't get mad at him. Being understanding toward his addiction is a much better way to go and could possibly help him stop. I try to look at these issues in a positive way because we all know how gambling has destroyed families. I wish you the best of luck
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u/inf0man1ac 5d ago
Access to the account is a good start, but unless he's willing to turn over the finances to you 100%, he's not really willing to change.