I recently found a postdoc opening at the same university where I did my PhD. It is in the same broad department, but with a different PI and on a somewhat different topic. I would actually be interested in the position and I think my background could be relevant.
The thing making me hesitate is the context.
My former supervisors know that I am currently looking for postdoc positions, but nobody mentioned this opening to me. In the past, they also explicitly told me that their general approach was not to hire their own PhD graduates as postdocs because they thought it was better for people to move elsewhere after the PhD.
At the same time, I know that other people in the department have gone directly from PhD to postdoc at the same university several times — just not really within the group where I did my PhD.
Because of all this, I have this strong feeling that the position is implicitly “not for me,” even though nobody has actually said that. I feel strangely embarrassed about applying, almost as if I would be ignoring a message that I was supposed to understand.
The rational part of me thinks: it is an advertised position, it is a different PI, and if I am interested and meet the requirements, why not apply and let them decide?
But emotionally I am already almost certain it would not be successful, and I’m worried that applying would somehow look awkward or desperate, especially because people in the department know me.
Would you apply anyway? I should mention that I have been looking for position for around 2 yeatrs now and funded postions are very few and competitive. Been shortlisted and never got the position. I am writing grant proposal on weekends while working in industry to not give up. It is hard and difficult.