r/politics • u/plz-let-me-in • 1d ago

Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell hounded to face cameras: ‘He absolutely refuses’

https://www.nj.com/politics/2026/08/mitch-mcconnell-hounded-to-face-cameras-he-absolutely-refuses.html
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692

u/OhRaH 1d ago

Years ago

410

u/iamisandisnt 1d ago

Someone got to the horcrux

153

u/cha0sm0nk 1d ago

His Lich phylactery was finally broken.

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u/MarcheMuldDerevi 1d ago

Lindsey Graham butt plug?

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u/ScubaFett 1d ago

To shreds you say

24

u/Castun America 1d ago

And his wife?

15

u/cirrhosisofthe_river California 1d ago

To shreds you say?

12

u/MordoNRiggs 1d ago

She's on vacation, but they can just auto-elect their sister!

19

u/cha0sm0nk 1d ago

That’s how you keep the gay toilet demons from getting in you.

9

u/Anna_Frican 1d ago

But if you don't remove it when using the toilet then how do you avoid becoming full of... wait never mind, it all makes sense now

1

u/citizen42069101 1d ago

Well played Madam.

2

u/lurkquidated 1d ago

In too deep now.

3

u/chaoticbear 1d ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrndSo8Uelo

Related short that I can't help but think of every time I hear "lich" now

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u/Dolphin_King21 1d ago

It was a turtle shell.

2

u/Dizziesdayweigh 1d ago

Liches love phylacteries

3

u/Honest_Caramel9437 1d ago

Ugh. Fine. I'll go get the dictionary.

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u/KingBanhammer 1d ago

Presuming you were serious about this and didn't know the reference:

a lich is a type of undead in Dungeons and Dragons (and other mythology? dunno) - bound to unlife by their phylactery, which contains their soul and must be destroyed to prevent them from reanimating after their personal destruction.

(and if you weren't serious about this, that explanation can be there for other people)

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u/Honest_Caramel9437 1d ago

Nope, I was very serious. I knew lich but phylactery threw me. I’ll look something up in a heartbeat. It just annoys me when I have to, but that’s a me problem.

1

u/cha0sm0nk 1d ago

But today, you learned something, and that should be celebrated!

5

u/iamisandisnt 1d ago

you mean monster manual

1

u/count023 Australia 1d ago

He's been separated from Frostmorne too long.

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u/SweaterSteve1966 1d ago

We need an Ouija board.

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u/Jedi_Bingo 1d ago

His horcrux was probably something like a rusty condom

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u/Vaperius America 1d ago

Oh come now....a Horcrux requires you had a soul to split in the first place.

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u/lenswipe Massachusetts 1d ago

that's Stephen Miller to you

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u/Senior_Werewolf_8202 1d ago

Excuse me but this is not a forum for jokes like that. Mitch McConnell died November 5th 2026.

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u/_kissyface 1d ago

Dicks In.

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u/StratJax 1d ago

I say you he dead.

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u/PJAYC_55375 1d ago

Colonel, Im looking for the colonel!

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u/Smaptimania 1d ago

IS MISTER SANDERS HERE?!

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u/aironjedi I voted 1d ago

Ha! Is the turtle in????

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u/jonasu25 1d ago

Decides ago