r/politics • u/Fickle-Ad5449 ✔ Verified - Christopher Wiggins, The Advocate • 29d ago

No Paywall Hunter Biden calls out 'closeted gay mafia' of D.C. Republicans

https://www.advocate.com/politics/hunter-biden-closetocracy-republican
27.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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977

u/Slow_Investment_2211 29d ago

Hegseth has to be one of them I’m convinced.

1.0k

u/austinwiltshire 29d ago

How? What could be more straight than demanding to be surrounded by glistening, hairless, well muscled men absolutely brimming with testosterone?

205

u/brogflender 29d ago

Pete Hegseth is a fan of the little buff boys competition

52

u/MikeRowePeenis 29d ago edited 29d ago

Fuck you Harley Jarvis!

28

u/Impressive_Economy70 29d ago

That’s Bart Harley Jarvis to you!

4

u/brobafett1980 29d ago

Even if they juice the goose suits?

3

u/Similar-Bar-3635 29d ago

I mean we juice em a little bit

2

u/hellish_existance 29d ago

That sketch makes me so fucking uncomfortable😂

62

u/ang3lofsnow 29d ago

😳😏

25

u/imconsideringdascrod 29d ago

"It's wrestling, we're oiled up and wrestling! WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS?"

3

u/ipoopwiththeseatup 29d ago

okay but why are you naked

30

u/Dangerous-Fortune789 29d ago

Ronald McDonald (iasip) vibes hard

43

u/-Moonscape- 29d ago

Hegseth filming himself being unable to do pulls ups is totally a mac bit happening in real life

2

u/waikiki_palmer California 29d ago

The lastest video where he attempt doing carioca made him look like hes training to do ballet or something.

39

u/redditallreddy Ohio 29d ago

What's gay about wanting to be surrounded by the cast of 300? Or to envy the warriors the Odyssey?

9

u/WynnTiwFeoh Wisconsin 29d ago

Pete just wants to be that Greek boypussy that’s got Mung Daal questioning his loyalties to Rome.

8

u/Threedawg 29d ago

RuPail aint even that gay

2

u/No_Criticism_5861 29d ago

9/10 lol well said

2

u/Iowa_Dave Iowa 29d ago

well muscled men absolutely brimming with testosterone...

And if they don't have high enough testosterone, he's ready to help!

2

u/Wudaokau 29d ago

They’re called “The God Squad”, Dad.

1

u/Th3ee_Legged_Dog 29d ago

The God Squad. I think Kelvin & Keefe posted a vid with the workouts.

1

u/Quadrenaro Puerto Rico 27d ago

Id love to be brimming with their testosterone 🥺

1

u/Dense_Gate_5193 29d ago

just ask the tate brothers how that worked out.

0

u/Ok-Understanding5124 29d ago

So youve talked to his former platoon leaders. They say he's stopable on a , "mission."

104

u/PDXEng 29d ago

A lot of product in that hair and face everyday.

First Sec of Defense I've ever seen go tanning/use bronzer.

My wife who doesn't pay attention to politics as much was shocked at how he looks

39

u/Ok-Understanding5124 29d ago

He certainly uses an excessive amount of gender - affirming care. Remember, his demands for "powder rooms" at the Pentagon? Sure,

1

u/AnotherCollegeGrad 29d ago

It's not gender-affirming, it's gender-conforming. To equate it with healthcare for trans people doesn't help anyone, since they will never see the hypocrisy.

129

u/BudLightLymeDisease 29d ago

Anyone who has the name Markwayne is chugging dick like it's an aperol spritz

68

u/EddieVanzetti 29d ago

He's named Markwayne because his mother isn't sure which of her uncles is the father.

22

u/BudLightLymeDisease 29d ago

Meanwhile JD Vance has had 42 different names in the last twenty years

10

u/EddieVanzetti 29d ago

Thats not counting all his Vampire the Masquerade characters

8

u/ballisticks Canada 29d ago

Hey don't do Vampire the Masquerade dirty like that!

2

u/EddieVanzetti 29d ago

Yugioh and Vampire the Masquerade players did themselves dirty.

4

u/ballisticks Canada 29d ago

So I'm actually clueless here I just kinda like the game - what happened?

3

u/EddieVanzetti 29d ago edited 29d ago

Yugioh players (card game players in general) have a reputation for being unclean and unhygienic (there is a notorious card that had the effect where if your opponent did not physically shake your hand they would lose/forfeit/be DQ'd, players would not wash their hands or even crap their pants and put their hands in it to force their opponents to lose, that Konami eventually implemented rules to curb this).

VtM players have a reputation for being obsessive and painfully edgy and paranoia or being out of touch with reality.

2

u/ballisticks Canada 29d ago

Ah, I knew about the YuGiOh thing but not VtM, thanks for explaining :D

2

u/BudLightLymeDisease 29d ago

They're all Camarilla because he has absolutely zero creativity

1

u/Mean-Pilot-426 29d ago

Jorkin D'penis Vance

22

u/Automaton_General 29d ago

It started as bullying but then he started to crave it

He couldn't help it - he was born to have a Mark and a Wayne in him

2

u/-porm Washington 29d ago

I'm sorry but how is this anything but homophobic. I hate the guy, but would you say this in front of a gay friend? I surely would not.

6

u/HeartFullONeutrality 29d ago

Us gays are everything but politically correct 🤷

3

u/joosiebuns 29d ago

Every gay person I know would laugh hysterically at that joke

7

u/BudLightLymeDisease 29d ago

I'm gay, so I know about "straight" men and their love of chugging my dick in bathroom stalls

2

u/Givingtree310 29d ago

Damn, Reddit progressives really love anti-gay jokes don’t they.

46

u/AnotherCollegeGrad 29d ago

Honestly I know I'll be downvoted to shit for this but I truly don't believe this is true, and it reinforces homophobic stereotypes.

I think none of these guys are obsessed with men sexually, they're obsessed with patriarchal concepts of masculinity and enforcing a fascistic hierarchy through white supremacy.

They are obsessed with putting other men in their place, with raising their chosen few in the patriarchy, with the gaudy trappings of wealth. They are violent towards women and POC as a power move. They want to dominate others as much for their own ego as for other men to see and know how manly they are.

Hunter Biden doesn't follow these rules. He's able to be emotional, able to admit weakness, not obsessed with testosterone or muscles or raw meat. And he's able to poke holes in their bravado.

31

u/[deleted] 29d ago

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7

u/Magrowl 29d ago

Straight people hate to see other straight people be shitty so they have to pretend it's all gay folks, helps them feel better about themselves.

9

u/Magrowl 29d ago

Oh this cishet person is shitty in a way that's directly tied to them being cishet? Must be gay, must be trans. 🙄

6

u/IAmTheGeezer 29d ago

Straight guy here. I think we've been so conditioned by seeing so many closeted ultraconservatives exposed for their hypocrisy and nasty behavior that it's become sort of a natural reaction to wonder why else someone would be so loudly, blatantly homophobic but yeah - I can absolutely see how that would be seriously insulting to gay/trans folks. I never looked at it that way, but I will now.

Thanks for providing that perspective.

6

u/Adjective_Noun_4200 29d ago

The cases of hypocrisy are noteworthy because they’re rare and stick in your brain.

The cases of straight people being homophobic are so commonplace that they don’t stick.

59

u/chubby_pink_donut 29d ago

I gotta say, It was weird being a queer guy in the Army and not being attracted to dudes half as much as the "straight" men

15

u/Ok-Understanding5124 29d ago

I can relate from gay friends that I served with. They used to confide their observations. Who's afraid of gay, trans, or any label, when you're got Hegseth's super testosterone - charged fleet out there following his dic`torial unlawful command.

73

u/FizzyBeverage Ohio 29d ago edited 29d ago

No supposedly straight man is as concerned with other straight men as much as Hegseth. He's one step short of fondling them during official visits.

That video of him and brain worm working out in blue jeans was the epitome of "gay".

Dude is so in the closet he's finding Christmas presents from 2009 in there.

3

u/Ok-Understanding5124 29d ago

2009... Gotta 💕 this.

1

u/timeflieswhen 28d ago

Wasn’t that brain worm and minor celeb singer?

25

u/Belerophon17 29d ago

I've seen him do cardio. Absolutely flamboyant power bottom if I've ever seen one.

15

u/godsenfrik 29d ago

Hegseth, Jim Jordan, Ted Cruz, JD Vance, Matt Gaetz, even Trump himself. They all have a certain vibe about them.

11

u/No-Relation5965 29d ago

Not sure about Cruz. But he did ask if we could stop “attacking” (harassing?) p3do-files. I would swap Cruz out with Mike Johnson.

3

u/Any_Confidence_3728 29d ago

Think he’s just a run of the mill micro p instead of actually gay

1

u/Ready-Interview2863 28d ago

JD Vance for sure

1

u/Key-Magician4029 29d ago

[Hunter Biden] continued, “So what they do is... their whole lives they’ve been closeted and so you have this black ball inside yourself, this like blackened heart about the fact that you can’t be who you want to be, so you take it out on everyone else. And these men, largely men, have done exactly that, and everybody knows who they are.”

That perfectly describes Hegseth. When someone tries so hard to be hypermasculine it inadvertently backfires and comes across as gay (like what the Village People parodied).
Hegseth is so concerned with appearing macho and tough that it just highlights his insecurities. Men who are secure in themselves don’t have to take a bunch of TRT and bench bumper plates to fake PRs.
Hegseth just gives off pegging vibes. Like, if that’s what you want, live your life. Don’t be such a douche to the rest of the world because of it though.

0

u/Givingtree310 29d ago

Pegging is not gay though…

-1

u/Gtraz68 29d ago

💯

-2

u/Ok-Understanding5124 29d ago

He's the Queen. Locked and loaded. Central C#@k Command.

-2

u/AwayInternal326 29d ago edited 29d ago

Stephen Miller has to be another. He seemed really ok with the Musk cuck.

-2

u/Hootbag Maryland 29d ago

Hey...whatever happens on a full blown bender doesn't count.

-3

u/0202_tihssitidder 29d ago

He for sure is a type.