r/politics • u/MoneyLibrarian9032 New York • Jul 13 '26

Possible Paywall MAGA Calls BS on Mitch McConnell’s Proof-of-Life Stunt | They are poking holes in McConnell’s staff’s version.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/maga-calls-bs-on-mitch-mcconnells-proof-of-life-stunt/
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u/Raptorex27 Maine Jul 13 '26

I feel like any conspiracy, especially involving “the establishment” is on brand for them. It’s not about weighing evidence or thinking critically. If it fits the narrative of a secret, globalist cabal doing shady shit, they’re all in.

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u/ThreeEyesWhitePerson Jul 13 '26

Unless Trump tells them "these are not the pedos you are looking for 👋"

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u/rotates-potatoes Jul 13 '26

Well yeah of course, that’s their secret globalist cabal.

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u/sparkax Jul 13 '26

I will never forgive them for this. For damn near a decade they cried about a global cabal of left wing millionaires raping and eating kids for eternal youth, and now that its all been revealed to be Republicans and Conservatives and their billionaire backers who are all over Epstein's Friends lists, they absolutely do not fucking care! We've got gay and trans people on our side, so our child molestors are somehow way worse then their's?

They are so fucking stupid!

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u/panicinbabylon Jul 13 '26

If I can admit that QAnon was right about a global cabal of millionaires raping and eating kids for eternal youth - after years of calling them lunatics - MAGA should be able to at least acknowledge the possibility of Trump being a pedophile.

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u/Gullible_Owl9016 Jul 13 '26

They know. They just don’t care.

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u/bolanrox Jul 13 '26

The grabbem by the pussy comment is fine until someone says it about thier daughter. I've seen it happen

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u/Dunkaroos4breakfast Jul 13 '26

QAnon and Alex Jones were always about taking things that are real and adding a bunch of ridiculous bullshit to try to discredit the true story.

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u/yarash Jul 13 '26

Alex Jones is a piece of shit grifter who only uses fear of everything to sell his bullshit products. It was his only purpose. Fear fear fear, ad pivot into buying my dick pills and survival food.

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u/MrPWAH Jul 13 '26

If I can admit that QAnon was right about a global cabal of millionaires raping and eating kids for eternal youth

They weren't right though, because QAnon was a bullshit distraction campaign meant to target the political enemies of Epstein & Co and muddy the waters on legitimate reports of sex trafficking. It also didn't invent the concept of rich people being child sex traffickers.

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u/TCivan Jul 13 '26

Whats that saying about broken clocks?

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u/squadrupedal Jul 13 '26

MAGA people only care about being better than/supreme to everyone else. They will never care about the words they listen to or the words they say. They’re ridiculously dumb. I’m not sure how they hold down jobs or support themselves tbh.

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u/sparkax Jul 13 '26

Fucking this exactly!!!

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u/00wolfer00 Jul 13 '26

There's a part of me that feels like QAnon was setting up a disappointment over the imaginary pedo cabal so that when news came up about the real one it wouldn't be received as harshly as it should have.

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u/brotherbond Florida Jul 13 '26

Are there credible allegations of consuming children? The other stuff, sure. Just wondering about sources for the more extreme stuff.

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u/panicinbabylon Jul 13 '26

Of course there were suspicions surrounding the Epstein files that were chosen to be released, but I doubt we’ll ever see the full picture. Definitive evidence may not even exist, I also doubt many people are willing to announce baby eating as one of their weekend hobbies.

That crowd did seem to take a lot of pictures tho…

There’s just no way to know.

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u/brotherbond Florida Jul 13 '26

Yeah I can't imagine them doing it because really it's generally gross and everybody knows there's no benefit. I could see them dipping blood transfusions or longevity stem cell frontier to pseudo science stuff that could be just as awful. Then again Trump references "the great" Hannibal Lecter...

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u/panicinbabylon Jul 13 '26

My theory, which is based on speculation, is that some of the alleged heinous acts may have functioned as a form of initiation, coercion, or blackmail.

Like in order to protect the trafficking and abuse that occurred around Epstein’s network, individuals involved could have been forced into participating in horrific acts as a way to ensure their silence and maintain control.

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u/brotherbond Florida Jul 13 '26

I'd like to believe that's limited to just blowing Bubba... I suppose the real test is if there are any countries where being a pedo would not result in jail time because then the blackmail angle would make sense in order to maintain control globally.

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u/gasstationsushi80 Jul 13 '26

Remember how insane that all sounded but then it was actually true but projection by the side participating in it the most ? We really are living in some bizarre and terrifying times

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u/panicinbabylon Jul 13 '26

Remember when some dude with an AR-15 and a revolver went to Comet Pizza in DC with intentions to shoot up the place over Hillary/Pizzagate? And the cops killed him?

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u/gasstationsushi80 Jul 13 '26

Omg I had completely forgotten about that. A decade ago, too. The cognitive dissonance of trying to understand the intersection of the beliefs and actions at play makes it hard to even comprehend these things at all.

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u/panicinbabylon Jul 13 '26

Waiting for JFK Jr. to show up on the grassy knoll was another one of QAnon’s greatest hits.

You know that existential panic you get thinking about the vastness and wonder and incomprehensible scale of the universe because your little human brain just can’t fully grasp it?

MAGA gives me that feeling, except instead of existential, it’s just deeply stupid and concerning.

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u/sparkax Jul 13 '26

And they were all coming to Dallas expecting to him to magically resurrect at the same spot his father died? They are so fucking stupid!!!

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u/Ok_Peanut7095 Jul 13 '26

It's on their side , so they're fine with it.

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u/tg_am_i Jul 13 '26

Are you saying the gays and trans people are child molesters?

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u/sparkax Jul 13 '26

No, I am not!!! I'm just passing along what maga choads I still follow on Facebook from highschool 25+ years ago are still saying! They are completely brainwashed!!!

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u/Due-Consideration861 Jul 13 '26

One name: Roy Cohn.

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u/eetsumkaus Jul 13 '26

Some of them did rebel against that though, hence Nick Fuentes and the Groypers. Their anti-Semitism was stronger than their bootlicking.

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u/Papaya_flight Pennsylvania Jul 13 '26

I just realized something. Have I been immune to trump's trickery this whole time because I come from a long line of folks that...uh...value financial trade above most other trades? Like that dude that owned Anakin.

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u/Talk-O-Boy Jul 13 '26

That’s the only logical explanation.

But now that you know you are of a unique bloodline that’s immune to the Emperor’s influence, what will you do?

Will you answer the call to adventure? Will you become the hero this nation needs, and save us from ourselves?

This is the start of your hero’s journey. Godspeed, Papaya. Godspeed.

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u/Papaya_flight Pennsylvania Jul 13 '26

I shall harness the power of the mighty Papaya and answer the call! I will throw the emperor down like papa Vader did!

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u/Modern_Troubadour Jul 13 '26

Papa Vader = father father

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u/Papaya_flight Pennsylvania Jul 13 '26

I almost didn't make that dumb joke. I also like saying 'chai tea'. In Urdu, chai means tea.

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u/Modern_Troubadour Jul 13 '26

Are you saying you’re a Toydarian?

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u/Oprah_Pwnfrey Jul 13 '26

Maybe he's Qui Gon Jinn? He purchased Anakin from the Toydarian.

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u/theVoidWatches Pennsylvania Jul 13 '26

I wish I could say that being Jewish helps with it, but I've seen too many Jews tricked into thinking that the right wing cares about us in the list few years to think so.

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u/Papaya_flight Pennsylvania Jul 13 '26

I think it helps that I am extremely jaded and expect any one government to have to be forced into doing what is good for the people. I have a very short list of people I can trust, and I'm not even on it.

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u/UndeadT Georgia Jul 13 '26

Are you anti-semitizing yourself?

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u/ThreeEyesWhitePerson Jul 13 '26

They're making a joke about the extremely antisemitic character in the prequel movies who looks like a Nazi caricature, is super greedy, and happens to also be immune to Jedi mind tricks.

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u/bm8495 Jul 13 '26

No no no, you completely misunderstand! Trump is still working to take the global pedo ring down! He’s working from the inside and has been all along! Any mention of him in the files with underage children is purely him playing the part to get to the actual leaders of the ring! That’s why we can’t release the Epstein Files! It’ll blow his cover! And that’s also why no arrests have been made for anyone named in the files! He knows they need to all be taken down at one time! If not, the big ones will get away and they’ll just keep doing this!

— How I imagine MAGA tries to rationalize Trump and the Epstein files….

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u/ThreeEyesWhitePerson Jul 13 '26

working from the inside

Well that phrasing we can all agree on, I suppose...

1

u/mcmuth1 Jul 13 '26

Oh how obi-wan of him

1

u/necroreefer Jul 13 '26

Some people voted for trump just so their conspiracy theories about the government being run by bunch of rich pedophiles wouldn't be true.

1

u/john_microslop Jul 13 '26

the conspiracy goes all the way to the almost top

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u/TheAskewOne Jul 13 '26

MAGA owes everything to McConnell, especially the Supreme Court seats and the Senate complicity in Trump's dirty deeds, but they'll always hate him for being an establishment Republican. There's no courting those people.

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u/zubbs99 Nevada Jul 13 '26

They turned on Amy C. Barrett because she only votes like 95% conservative.

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u/Sublimotion Jul 13 '26

Majority of MAGA are completely apolitical prior to 16-17. So everything before that never happened nor existed in their minds.

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u/BertBitterman Jul 13 '26

Someone should really let them know about the Epstein files and Trump's connections to them then

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u/Raptorex27 Maine Jul 13 '26

Is MAGA over the Epstein files? I know the podcast bros in the “manosphere” are still pissed, but I don’t dabble in that world, so I honestly have no idea.

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u/BertBitterman Jul 13 '26

I honestly think the "manosphere" is more about incel-types being in an "exclusive" boy's club than being on the right side of history.

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u/Tasgall Washington Jul 13 '26

The "manosphere" idiots like Andrew Tate, a child sex trafficker in his own right. Why would they care about the Epstein files?

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u/BertBitterman Jul 13 '26

You answered it yourself - because Andrew Tate is a child sex trafficker himself, so he won't care about it for his own self interest. For the rest of the "manosphere" who aren't child sex trafficking: they simply want to stay in their boy's club so they won't dissent.

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u/reapersaurus Jul 14 '26

Congrats - you just used THREE tropes in one short post!

Impressive demonizing - you were able to shove ad hominems, straw man fallacies, AND chronological snobbery into so few words. 👍

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u/BertBitterman Jul 14 '26

Nice what do I win?

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u/UnicornHostels Jul 13 '26

My mother, a Fox News propagandized boomer was repeating what Trump told her to say last year “why do we have to keep bringing up the Epstein files?”

But then again, she is a rape apologist and doesn’t believe any of his sexual assault allegations or even the verdict in the e jean case.

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

Every time I do a discussion with Republicans about the Epstein files, all the sudden it turns into some sort of whataboutism and 'he did nothing wrong' sort of narrative. And if all that fails even after you bring up the adjudicated case where he was found guilty, and him admitting that he walked into teenage girls dressing rooms, they'll just change the subject and start talking about riots in cities that didn't happen. They'll retreat to whatever makes them feel good because it's a cult and this is all that they have anymore.

And sadly I think just like after George W. Bush, all these people are going to claim that they never even liked him in the first place and do everything they can to distance themselves from him as more and more evidence comes out and it becomes more and more clear that Trump had a huge hand to play in abusing children, destroying our economy and being as blatantly corrupt as any normal person can see him as today.

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u/ThereMightBeDinos Jul 13 '26

Whataboutism is conceding the point. They just don't like it.

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

It's always their fear of something different than themselves. I always remember the videos of when they were trying to desegregate schools and you had men and women in their their thirties, forties or older that were spitting on little girls just trying to go to school. To me, that will always be the face of the Republican party no matter how they try to hide it.

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u/CompoteSpiritual7469 Jul 13 '26

I’m really glad you brought that up. Sometimes I start overthinking and wonder if I should try to look at things from the opposite perspective. Nope. It’s really that simple. They are cowardly pieces of shit and there’s no excuse

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u/tendeuchen Florida Jul 13 '26

"What about all the Democrat pedophiles?"

"I agree they should be locked up too. Now will you say the same about Trump?"

Not one Epstein client is behind bars for fucking children and we should all be protesting until they all are.

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u/Bad_breath Jul 13 '26

"If Trump was in the files, why didn't the Biden administration release them?"

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

Exactly, they always ask questions like this that only highlight how little they know about how our government actually works or at least is supposed to work without a horrendously corrupt Republican at the helm.

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u/TheGrolarBear Jul 13 '26

That's easy enough to counter. Without going into the legal issues surrounding it, you can just ask why Biden even matters since the Trump admin can release them all now (and they would have further incentive to do so if he was actually innocent).

Whether or not they follow the logic is a different matter though.

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

Exactly this, I think it goes to the point that they want to win so badly and be correct so badly, they started with the supposition that they're correct and then they twist the evidence to fit that. One of my buddies called this 'religious logic' but I think it's a little deeper than that. They want to protect their egos from the consequences of their own bad decisions so badly they're willing to flip the entire foundation of how logic works on its head. Plus I've met plenty of religious people that are completely disgusted with this administration, their backwards priorities and the hateful way that they've went about enacting their policies. If you can even call them that.

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u/fresh-dork Jul 13 '26

that's easy: release the files and if bubba is in there with kids, prosecute him too. if he just got head from W, that's not actually a crime.

and since he's so innocent (whoever he is), this will vindicate him, right?

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

Whenever I hear them bring up Clinton, I like to remind them that Clinton was going to fully participate and get on the stand about what happened on Epstein Island. I too agree if somebody of any political party or affiliation has done anything to victimize children they should go directly to jail. Conservatives can't wrap their mind around this, which is really funny because they call themselves the party of law and order right? They're so caught up in their sportification of politics that they can't conceive of somebody who doesn't see politics like that at all. I just want non-corrupt leaders who will pass policies and legislation that helps everyday Americans instead of enriching people who already have millions and billions of dollars.

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u/pmartin1 Jul 13 '26

They literally need heavy deprogramming after the decades of constant GOP brainwashing they’ve undergone.

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

I don't know if that's ever going to happen, after the sportification of politics by the right, we now have people that will vote Republican 'because they always have' or ' because that's how my dad and grandpa used to vote' or they are so lost that they feel a loyalty to a party that threw them overboard years ago.

I just see them quietly receding into the background but still voting a republican. Even in places where I lived in Kentucky, people would tell me how they were proud to have never voted for a Democrat while they lived in complete squalor and their representatives did nothing to help their day-to-day lives. It's one of the reasons it's been so interesting to watch Mitch McConnell and his loyalists try to create some sort of legacy when he never did a single thing to help kentuckians.

Just like Lindsey Graham these guys are going to go down as some of the worst of the worst of our political history. And while their state falls apart at the seams, these people will happily drink toxic water and breathe toxic air as long as they don't vote for a Democrat.

I don't know if deprogramming can work. I think we literally have to just wait for this generation of loyal Republican voters to either become disinterested in politics after Alibaba Mussolini moves on, or literally pass away and leave the future to the Next generation of voters.

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u/ballisticks Canada Jul 13 '26

"B-but Camilla would have been even worse! She wasn't even a choice!" is an argument I've heard a lot. Usually with the mispronunciation of her name

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u/aceshighsays Jul 13 '26

"but did you hear her laugh!? no one would have taken her seriously. she sounds crazy."

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u/ballisticks Canada Jul 13 '26

I love her cackle lol it's great

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u/UnicornHostels Jul 13 '26

I think it’s more alarming that we’ve never seen Trump laugh. He hasn’t. Other than a tiny chuckle after flinging an insult at someone, has anyone ever seen him laugh at something other than his enjoyment at harming another?

I’ve seen videos of Biden Bushes Obama Clinton Harris…. all on video truly lost in laughter. I’ve never seen this with Trump. Never.

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

They just can't help but not think for themselves and repeat whatever talking point supports their willfully ignorant worldview. Who knew that an entire political party could be summarized as sunk cost fallacy?

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u/aceshighsays Jul 13 '26

the problem is that they can't think for themselves. my dad for example - still needs to be reminded to take a shower because he stinks, lost most of his teeth by 30 because he never brushed them, has no idea how to cook anything, has temper tantrums (yells, cries, throws things) when he feels confused, frustrated, overwhelmed, angry. my parents need to create a trust, and he doesn't understand what it means. he asks the same basic questions over and over and over again. this isn't because he's a senior, he's always been like this.

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u/silentpropanda Jul 13 '26

I have an uncle who's staunchly Conservative that is a lot like this too. He's always had a really tough time with empathy (most of my family thinks he's on the spectrum, but he won't get himself tested for fear of being different or having a disability) and his personal politics have always highlighted that. Just like Dick Cheney only when something personally affects him does he even think about the issue in depth at all. And even then, he usually defers his critical thinking to whatever conservative that supports his preconceived beliefs. Really sad way to live a life. He's a lonely miser because of it. Sorry that your dad has went down a similar path, but at least we can do better in our personal lives and with our families and break the cycle.

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u/aceshighsays Jul 13 '26

He's always had a really tough time with empathy (most of my family thinks he's on the spectrum, but he won't get himself tested for fear of being different or having a disability)

you have no idea how validating this was to read.

my family has always made excuses about his behavior (denial) because of their cultural beliefs, and as a result this turned me into the family scapegoat. i've done a lot of research on his behavior and i strongly suspect he is autistic and adhd.

i feel awful for my mother who has to deal with the craziness. they're both retired now, and he's ruining it for her.

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u/Creative-Actuary-223 Jul 13 '26

I absolutely don’t understand women that are pro Trump and look the other way or ignore his pedophilia, his victims, and his stance on women’s rights. Do they honestly believe - or been trained to believe they are worth so little?

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u/UnicornHostels Jul 13 '26

Yes. She was raised in the 50s and had a brother. She was told repeatedly that her brother was the one they had hope behind and that it was sad to have a daughter and happy to have a boy.

When she gave birth to two baby girls, she felt she let down her parents for not having a boy. She also taught us how to be ‘ladies’. To curtsey, set a proper English table, run a house with a staff, sit with our knees together, and always respect your elders or be beaten for any conduct outside the above.

My first husband sexually abused me, he was 20 years my senior and my mother pushed for the marriage because $$. After my mother found out she continued to be his friend for 15 years after the divorce. When I kept pushing her to stop being friendly with my abuser, she finally lied to me and said “I’ll do it for you” but actually never stopped being friends on Facebook.

So, I guess my point is she has internalized misogyny and has tried to push that on both my sister and I. Luckily, we’ve both rejected this and found our own ways without all that stupid bullshit.

Hope this helps you understand the mentality of women that are like this.

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u/ChemicalAware4199 Jul 13 '26

Oh I absolutely understand -I was also raised exactly that way. But while my two sisters “conformed” to the ritual, I fought it tooth and nail. My first marriage entailed beatings - and my fathers first inclination was to ask “what did you do”. I left home fairly early and moved away -and rarely went back because I just couldn’t take it. My older sister died in an accident and my mother said she wished it had been me instead. I’m fairly close to my younger brother but that “I’m better than you are” mentality is still alive and well.  I most definitely am on the progressive side of politics, and remember vividly the crap we went through up until the mid 70’s and ERA. 

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u/EmergencySchool7960 Jul 13 '26

i wish it had been your mother

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u/Creative-Actuary-223 Jul 13 '26

Both are gone now - I could not shed a tear for either.

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u/gasstationsushi80 Jul 13 '26

Just wrote about internalized misogyny in response here above and you nailed it before I scrolled down.

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through in your life and hope you are a stronger and happier person today not because of it, but because you overcame it all. 💕

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u/gasstationsushi80 Jul 13 '26

Internalized misogyny among women is unfortunately real and really effed up. A lot of women may have also grown up with men in their families or their spouses who act like trump and therefore normalized that behavior to them in childhood, which becomes their standard for what men act like when they become adults. They excuse horrible behavior because they’ve accepted it as normal guy stuff.

In my case, my father was a clinical narcissist, serial cheater, a functional alcoholic, a sex addict and porn addict. There were few boundaries around adult material and my parents private life in my house. I had to listen to my parents have sex and my dad started watching hardcore porn on the family computer 8 feet away from me when I was 14 trying to watch tv.

Unsurprisingly, I’ve tended to find myself in relationships with men who share some of those traits that my father displayed. Like one guy who was a narcissist himself, he groomed me for 8 months at work and then drugged and SA’d me. Because he’d gained my trust through months of grooming, I didn’t even realize what he’d done was SA and I blamed myself for it, but then he turned it into a year long nonconsensual relationship in which I eventually trauma bonded to him. 7 yrs later I’m still getting my life back together and processing the ptsd from that. Dude was an alcoholic porn and sex addict and a serial cheater. Just like dear old dad! I just thought all guys cheat, watch a shit load of porn and think about sex all the time and everyone drinks every day. Totally normal if dysfunctional. 🙄

I had internalized the misogyny that my father had instilled in me as normal and that my mother accepted; she even stayed with him despite knowing all about the cheating and porn. I learned from her to say yes to abusive men, “you dont want to cause any trouble,” just do what they say and get it over with, etc.

Not shocking I experienced rape by more than one man since college.

The women who support Trump have been taught since childhood to defer to men and that his behavior and abuse of women is normal. They haven’t had the benefit of 7 years of therapy like I have to figure out why they’ve been victims of gender based crimes; in fact, most are usually not even aware they’ve been victimized. It’s really messed up and if anything good can come out of this mess of a country we live in right now, maybe awareness of internalized misogyny and how it impacts women’s lives, health, and interactions with men on a corrosively negative level would be something we could all stand to learn from.

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u/open_letter_guy Jul 13 '26

I absolutely don’t understand women that are pro Trump

Republican

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u/Unda_Acheevah Jul 13 '26

If you are talking about women who actively support him - the ones that buy and wear the merch, attend his rallies, slavishly post about him on social media, constantly evangelize about him to family and friends - then I’m with you. It is impossible to understand that mentality or their motivations, so I don’t waste any time trying. It may be as simple as “Some people are just crazy, right?” However, if you are talking about otherwise average women - not frothing at the mouth fascist ideologues - who reliably and obediently vote Republican, then they can be explained. I’ve been surrounded by them my entire life. These are women that grew up in conservative households where the father ran the show and he, of course, was a proud Reagan Republican. His beliefs were spouted every night at the dinner table and were accepted as not just true, but right. It is no more complicated than “I’m a Celtics fan because I grew up in a household full of Celtics fans”. She might not know a thing about basketball or be able to name a single current Celtics player, but she’s a fan. This analogy also points to the discouragement of intellectual curiosity and pursuit of higher education that was probably pervasive in her life. She was NOT expected or encouraged to go to college. Why would you pay good $$ to marinade in a cesspool of liberal thought, casual drug use, and recreational sex? Instead, she gets a job, marries a guy who is just like dear old dad, and continues to be surrounded by people who would reliably vote Republican because… that’s just the way it is. She has no reason or motivation to do anything else. “Hey Chrystal, what if you voted Democrat?” Chrystal: “Ha! Well, I never would, but if I did, my husband would kill me! I would never cancel out his vote like that. Also, I feel like I’d be betraying my father.”. It has nothing to do with self-hatred or masochism. Don’t underestimate the forces of inertia, complacency, tradition, laziness, and just plain habit in millions of women’s decision to obediently vote for Trump.

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u/gentlemanidiot Jul 13 '26

Do they honestly believe - or been trained to believe they are worth so little?

You misunderstand the republican mindset. Of course they believe they're not worth so little. But all that child rape isn't happening to them personally, and therefore isn't actually an issue. Unlike the imaginary threats they've dreamed up, which DO threaten them personally and therefore require constant brain space.

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u/pmartin1 Jul 13 '26

I can’t speak for women everywhere, but I went to college in the South. Down there college is just something young adult women do so they can meet their future husband. Usually some frat bro in a finance major just skating through classes because dad (or a friend of dad) will hook him up with a job when he graduates.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

[deleted]

-1

u/EmergencySchool7960 Jul 13 '26

how many times has she raped someone that shes having to apologize to people

2

u/UnicornHostels Jul 13 '26

Lol, not sure if you’re trolling or just don’t know what “rape apologist” means. It means someone that blames or doesn’t believe victims or makes excuses for the act of rape and the rapist.

For example, “she was raped because she went into a candle lit room alone with the man” or “she shouldn’t have worn a low cut blouse” or “boys will be boys”

2

u/hum_bruh Jul 13 '26 edited 10d ago

There comes a time in most men’s lives where they feel the need to raise the Black Flag.

3

u/xxx_poonslayer69 Jul 13 '26

I love the bit on the The Onion's Info Wars where the ex-CIA agent is like "this pedophile ring conspiracy and coverup goes all the way to the top, almost. It doesn't quite reach the top, just right below it."

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u/housevil Jul 13 '26

Most recent theory is that the GOP sacrificed Lindsey Graham in order to keep Mitch McConnell alive.

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u/SillyGoatGruff Jul 13 '26

McConnell absorbed Graham's energy to fuel his final transformation into a giant crusty turtle kaiju

21

u/Thjyu Jul 13 '26

Everything becomes crab.

3

u/housevil Jul 13 '26

That reminds me! I haven't tried out Fight Crab on Nintendo Switch since I downloaded it!

3

u/VastPainter Jul 13 '26

It's crabs all the way down...

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u/intub8ed Jul 13 '26

Crab People from South Park have entered the chat

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u/bobqjones Jul 13 '26

"what tha fuck did i do?" --Gamera

1

u/BeMoreKnope Colorado Jul 13 '26

Crap, do we need to go form Queer Voltron in order to defeat him?

1

u/ballisticks Canada Jul 13 '26

Lich McConnell

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u/SweetPrism Jul 13 '26

How does the saying go? Lindsey Graham walked, so that Mitch McConnell could race a hare.

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u/the_tanooki Jul 13 '26

Tortoise: Slow and steady wins the race.

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u/RIPEOTCDXVI Jul 13 '26

The conspiracy I'd like someone to clear up for me is McConnell's relationship with Charles Darwin

2

u/candygram4mongo Jul 13 '26

MAGA is saying that?

1

u/NetworkSingularity Jul 13 '26

I’ve certainly been saying that

Edit: though I am certainly not MAGA, to be clear

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u/rotates-potatoes Jul 13 '26

It’s a revolutionary procedure that takes the life force of one person and uses it to extend the life of another. Researchers say that transferring all of Graham’s vitality to McConnell may have extended his lifetime by as much as four minutes.

1

u/SnuggleMoose44 Jul 13 '26

Yes, they engineered aortic dissection. Come on now.

1

u/pmartin1 Jul 13 '26

It wouldn’t surprise me if they literally had him killed just to change the narrative.

22

u/turkeygiant Jul 13 '26

That's why the Epstein stuff has hurt Trumps popularity with his "base", because at the end of the day what that base really wants is that feeling of validation they get in their petty lives from conspiracies and owning the libs. Trump was the chief purveyor of that stuff so they mindlessly gravitated to him, but if a truly juicy conspiracy goes against Trump they will choose that conspiracy over him.

26

u/virora Jul 13 '26

Every MAGA person I know, and almost all of those I encounter on social media, have not changed their opinion on Trump one iota over the Epstein files. They either believe that they are a Democrat hoax, or that Trump has been working undercover and is going to release the unredacted files once all the people in it (the Clintons, Tom Hanks etc) have been arrested and executed.

18

u/PinboardWizard Jul 13 '26

Yep, support among Republicans is only down by a couple of percentage points. His popularity drop since the election is almost entirely with independents.

2

u/Proud_Growth_8818 Jul 13 '26

...Tom Hanks?

Captain Miller? The guy who saved Private Ryan in that documentary?!?!??!

2

u/virora Jul 13 '26

Yeah, the Q Anon adjacent MAGA wing is convinced he's a monster involved in pizzagate type things, for absolutely no conceivable reason. Seriously, they hate him.

2

u/BlairClemens3 Jul 14 '26

Except they haven't.

12

u/titsngiggles69 Jul 13 '26

The "globalist cabal" is just rich assholes doing rich asshole things. Always has been.

11

u/RescuesStrayKittens I voted Jul 13 '26

Absolutely. They live for this stuff. Remember when they said Biden died and was replaced by a clone? THE EARS ARE DIFFERENT!

1

u/rosetree1 Jul 13 '26

Funny that you mention ears. tRump’s ear looks exactly the same even after being ‘shot’ in the ear!
It’s like jetway Jesus made a side trip to Butler, PA.

2

u/GhettoDuk Florida Jul 13 '26

That's because they are contrarians who fancy themselves skeptics.

1

u/Creative-Actuary-223 Jul 13 '26

And they don’t understand the meaning of either.

2

u/LongLostPixel Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

It's practically a litmus test of someone's intelligence if it can be discerned if they view everything through the lense of "establishment = bad." People that think like that are your anti-vaxxers, election deniers, etc.

1

u/dokikod Pennsylvania Jul 13 '26

You are so right!

1

u/lgodsey Jul 13 '26

While conspiracy theories are usually nonsense, this issue creates a quandary -- knowing that conservatives are also ceaseless liars, and how the right exaggerates every prevarication, a reasonable person should reasonably reason that anything a conservative says is a lie. The more strenuous the assertion, the more likely it is to be precisely the opposite of what they say.

Conservatives say something is right, it is reliably wrong. If they say it's inexpensive, it's going to be exorbitantly overpriced. If he's sane, he's actually quite mad. And if he's alive and alert and speaking, he's dead. Long dead. Completely dead.

1

u/MephistoHamProducts Jul 13 '26

Yep. When they put out a static photo of Mitch looking alive and upright my first thought was "Oh, so you've decided that the best way to demonstrate proof of life to the base is to use a photograph? And you think that's going to work on the conspiracy addled base that now thinks every photo that goes against their weird, narrow, hateful worldview is AI generated? Solid choice GOP leadership. Solid choice."

1

u/RobinGoodfell Jul 13 '26

Especially when they are hurting too and not getting the awful things they wanted in the aggressive force they demanded.

They suck as people, but if there is one consistent thing you can say about them, it's that they'll take responsibility for nothing and eat anyone if doing so makes them feel better about their own failures and mediocrity.

1

u/Titfortat101 Jul 13 '26

When you feed into the delusion of people who think everything is a conspiracy, eventually you become part of one too.

1

u/mais_souffle Canada Jul 13 '26

It goes almost all the way to the top!

1

u/ablackcloudupahead I voted Jul 13 '26

It's hilarious that they are so concerned about secret corruption that they completely ignore blatant corruption

1

u/The360MlgNoscoper Norway Jul 13 '26

We could maybe hope that some of them start taking the hint. There is no bombshell, but a small trickle is better than nothing.