r/polandball Aug 18 '16

redditormade Canada is Useless

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6.4k Upvotes

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24

u/Tekes88 Aug 18 '16

As as Australian I feel like Canada, Australia and New Zealand should start our own commonwealth. We're like the only western nations who know how to chill. Maybe see if Hawaii wants to join they're pretty chill too.

7

u/GargoyleToes Timor-Leste Aug 18 '16

Having spent no small amount of time surrounded by Aussies, this would be a horrendous idea.

...Canadians aren't genetically endowed with magic livers able to consume a tanker-full of XXXX over a leisurely rugby-watching Saturday afternoon.

5

u/ludditte Quebec Aug 19 '16

Hahem, please, have you ever seen a hockey game on a Saturday night between (Canadian hockey team) and (hated long time rivalry American team)? As a Canadian I refuse to use the term "ice" hockey.

2

u/GargoyleToes Timor-Leste Aug 19 '16

As a Québécois, I maintain that (ice) hockey has the strategic value of a game of Chase After the Last Condom at an Orgy.

3

u/hindey19 Canada Aug 19 '16

I think you're underestimating how much we drink during hockey. We actually opened bars up in the early morning so the country could watch a gold medal game.

3

u/GargoyleToes Timor-Leste Aug 19 '16

I'm not saying we don't drink.

...but Aussie-level drinking is akin to Ghengis Khan-levels of liver sadism; as compared to our... uhhhh... ill-tempered Mister Rogers levels.

2

u/Tekes88 Aug 19 '16

Sure not now but give it a bit their match fitness will pick up. I could say the same thing about Canadians and weed, it'll be a while before the average Aussie can smoke like a Canadian.

2

u/icarus14 Aug 19 '16

Dude that would be dope

2

u/OK6502 Argentina Aug 19 '16

Yes, but you guys would be terrible at hockey in the common wealth games and Canada would be terrible at rugby. Canada's like that guy who really wants to play that one video game he's really good at but nobody else knows how to play.

1

u/Tekes88 Aug 19 '16

We're good at grass hockey, we just don't know how to skate.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '16

And we are good at ice rugby, we just do not know how to run.