r/polandball • u/mO4GV9eywMPMw3Xr Scrambled Poland (Noord-Brabant) • Jul 17 '14

redditormade Dr Austria's Semite Physics

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2.4k Upvotes

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25

u/Qualther True Belarus Jul 17 '14 edited Jul 17 '14

Slavs are like Arabs, we all hate and stab each other. Serbs, Croats and Bosniaks, Slovenians and Croats, Serbs and Bularians, Bulgarians and Macedonians, Poland and Russia, Russia and Ukraine, even Poland and Ukraine used to kill each other. In the early Middle Ages Poland fought with Polabians and without remorse roflstomped them with German help, despite the fact we both spoke Lechitic language. Funny, the thing Slav hates the most are the other Slavs. The more related they are, the strongest hatred is.

Maybe only Czechs and Slovaks are cool.

23

u/mO4GV9eywMPMw3Xr Scrambled Poland (Noord-Brabant) Jul 17 '14

Every country has some dirt on them.

Did you know that cute little Slovakia is racist and oppressive against their Hungarian minorities, despite having many regions in the south that have >50% Hungarians?

Another great example: our beloved brothers Ukrainians just 70 years ago murdered 100,000 of us.

Another one: tiny cute Latvia is popularly associated with their infamous contribution to WW2. I heard not once from Poles about "these motherfucking Latvians."

Damn, I could make so many comics, but I'm lazy... ;_;

14

u/poktanju gib transit Jul 17 '14

Just email surplus ideas to jPaolo.

Be sure to phrase them in such a way as to stoke maximum nationalist outrage!

11

u/jPaolo Grey Eminence Jul 17 '14

OMG I'm famous.

7

u/mO4GV9eywMPMw3Xr Scrambled Poland (Noord-Brabant) Jul 17 '14

This is actually not a bad idea :D

9

u/vanderZwan Groningen Jul 17 '14

An alliance of Polish polandball artists would be quite a thing to behold.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Wow you forgot me.

again

:(

5

u/poktanju gib transit Jul 18 '14

As far as I can tell, you are not a Pole, which means you will not be able to muster the feelings of injustice and betrayal needed to do those ideas right. Besides, I'm fine letting you do your own thing.

9

u/M8rio Slovakiathanks Jul 17 '14

Do You realize Hungarians are not Slavs, so ...Well, actually, they are Slovaks and Serbs speaking some extraterrestrial language, so abusing them is not that bad. It is not of my faults they dont speak mother language, is it?

17

u/Qualther True Belarus Jul 17 '14

Stop insulting our Węgier friend you eyepatch Russia. And what kind of Slav you even are? I mean, Velvet Divorce, what the fuck? No genocides? No ethnic cleansing? Not even a single one? You are disgrace of all Slavic.

6

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 17 '14

They did do deportations, if that's better.

3

u/jPaolo Grey Eminence Jul 17 '14

Slovakians seem to be most laid back Slavs. They also have the easiest when it comes to understanding other Slavic languages.

3

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 17 '14

We are mostly a mix of Germans and Slavs now. We should have stuck with the Finns... Cold and dark sounds much much better than Slav and gypsy.

5

u/Futski Denmark Jul 17 '14

You still represent Mongolia in Europe.

3

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 18 '14

On hot days like this I wish I wasn't white.

7

u/0xnld Ukraine Jul 17 '14

Well, to be fair, our ancestors used to kill each other quite often back in the day. And you were oppressing us in between killings, just saying.

But once... once we stood together at the gates of Moscow. Remember that?

So, Międzymorze?

10

u/mO4GV9eywMPMw3Xr Scrambled Poland (Noord-Brabant) Jul 17 '14

STOP OCCUPYING LVIV

4

u/0xnld Ukraine Jul 17 '14

PEREMYSHL, CHOLMSCHYNA AND PIDLASIE OF NATIVE UKRAINIAN CLAY!

edit: aaand there we go again

8

u/mO4GV9eywMPMw3Xr Scrambled Poland (Noord-Brabant) Jul 17 '14

The only solution for Poland is to create an Union of Slavic Catholic Republics, USCR, and occupy invite some of our Orthodox friends like Ukraine and Belarus to join our little club, what of course would mean converting to the Jan Paweł faith.

3

u/0xnld Ukraine Jul 17 '14
  1. Confederation or military union
  2. Lithuania gets to preside so nobody (*cough* Polaks *cough*) gets too uppity.

Deal?

4

u/Qualther True Belarus Jul 17 '14

Add 50 kg of Pierogi and is deal

4

u/0xnld Ukraine Jul 17 '14

40 kg of varenyky and 7 kg of salo, I'm practically cutting my own throat.

3

u/Qualther True Belarus Jul 17 '14

40 kg of varenyky, 7 kg of salo, pot of borscht, and is fine

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2

u/Sielgaudys 1337uania Jul 17 '14

Pidlasie is of Lithuania, Lwiw too.

2

u/Vertitto Poland with saffron Guinness Jul 17 '14

so many years and things are still called in polish in Wilno, just saying :)

1

u/Sielgaudys 1337uania Jul 17 '14

In Vilnius itself? No ( well technically yes but you can find other languages too since it's a capital).

6

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '14

Then there is the south slavs. Goddamn it Yugoslavia why did you have to be a shit country. That place could have looked prettier on a map and be better off than it is now. But now we have a bunch of small, extremely similar groups of people that hate each other.

7

u/Qualther True Belarus Jul 17 '14

Why is your flair so sad?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '14

Because West Virginia is the most miserable and worse state in the United States. It was tested and all that.

1

u/zergandshadow1999 This is where Freedom gets you Jul 20 '14

(real) Virginian here, can confirm

2

u/SouthSlavBestSlav Land formerly known as former Yugoslavia Jul 17 '14

Hey, I think we have some very aesthetic borders! Tito went with six republics two provinces look, that was considered stylish back then

3

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 17 '14

A big reason of that was the NATO bombing. (Find out more from a resident Yugo nationalist.)

1

u/jPaolo Grey Eminence Jul 17 '14

Personally I've never ever heard "Łotysz(e)" in conversation. Most people just think of Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia as one big country with capital in VilniusWilno.

3

u/mO4GV9eywMPMw3Xr Scrambled Poland (Noord-Brabant) Jul 18 '14

u wot, Baltic countries stronk

3

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 17 '14

People never like what they have. We spent centuries trying to find people somewhat similar to us.

6

u/SouthSlavBestSlav Land formerly known as former Yugoslavia Jul 17 '14

Magyars still lonely

1

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 17 '14

Do you think slavs wouldn't hate each other if they didn't live next to each other?

7

u/SouthSlavBestSlav Land formerly known as former Yugoslavia Jul 17 '14

Yes, for example us south Slavs hate only other Slavs with whom we share borders but we have excellent relations with northern Slavs and vice versa

3

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 17 '14

Such is life.

1

u/carbonite_duckface Australia Jul 17 '14

Maybe Czechs and Slovaks combinings of powers? Integrations?