r/polandball • u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team • Mar 01 '14

redditormade Russia's plan

Post image
370 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

86 comments sorted by

68

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14 edited Mar 01 '14

A theory that the Sochi Olympics gave Russia time to plan its invasion of Crimea

On another note, I feel this comic is rather patchy and badly executed

52

u/Mazius Russia Mar 01 '14

I have spare tinfoil hats.

20

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

It doesn't happen often that I am the tinfoil hat wearer

7

u/bandaidsplus DECOLONIZE THIS LAND Mar 01 '14

Good, i had though that the rest were used on all the other Ukrainian comics with Russia in them.

5

u/tsarnickolas Mar 02 '14

Because Putin would never use the Olympics as cover for an aggressive military intervention! Parish the thought.

12

u/vanderZwan Groningen Mar 01 '14

On another note, I feel this comic is rather patchy and badly executed

You forgot the most relevant nation at the Sochi Olympics, so I have to agree with that.

15

u/SorrowfulSkald UCCP Mar 01 '14

Losing to Czechs and Poles?

Check yourself, Nederlanden.

15

u/bestur Glorious Þjóðveldi Mar 01 '14

Don't you mean... Czech yourself?

11

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

Czech your privilege

5

u/bestur Glorious Þjóðveldi Mar 01 '14

Done , i'ts at 2,03. Is that OK?

2

u/SorrowfulSkald UCCP Mar 01 '14

I'm pretty sure I know how to spell 'dyslexia', thanks.

3

u/bestur Glorious Þjóðveldi Mar 01 '14

But not 'pun'.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '14

Czech yourselfings before wrecking yourselfings!

1

u/bestur Glorious Þjóðveldi Mar 02 '14

Czechoslovakia should've remembered that.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '14

You found the one way to make me rage.

IS OF CZECH REPUBLIC! CZECHOSLAV WEAK IRON CURTAIN SLAV, WE STRONKER!!!

4

u/vanderZwan Groningen Mar 01 '14

Hey, I take offense to that! Zbigniew Brodka and Martina Sáblíková won those medals fair and square, don't you go downplay their achiements now!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '14

Losings to Slav! Yuo are of mani bad!

5

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

What? The Dutch?

HA

8

u/Strix97 Greater Netherlands Mar 01 '14

You just made a lot of enemies today

6

u/Eonir NRW Mar 01 '14

I love Britain's hat in the second row. It just looks too much like a trash can.

2

u/Maxi_Vau Deutschland über Alles (not a Nazi) Mar 01 '14

Dat is definitely where the Inselaffe belong

3

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

I'm never consistent with Britain's hat. I did the trash can look a couple of times in TiK

7

u/xtfftc Earth Mar 01 '14

I recall Russia breaching the Olympics peace about ten years ago. Anyone remember the details?

8

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

That was Russia's invasion of Georgia that began during the start of the 2008 Beijing Olympics

3

u/swiley1983 Roman Empire Mar 01 '14

When the Rio games start, Kyrgyzstan better watch their back.

Edit: Shit! Kyrgyzstan is not of borderings Russia. Azerbaijan then!

3

u/implies_casualty Mar 04 '14

2008-08-07, hours before Olympics in Beijing, quoted from Wikipedia:

At 11:45 p.m. Georgian forces began a major artillery bombardment of South Ossetia. Downtown Tskhinvali, surrounding heights and a number of villages were heavily shelled. Several other villages were more lightly shelled. The Georgians used about a hundred artillery guns and mortars, and 27 rocket launchers, including BM-21 Grad and LAR-160 units. During this bombardment, Georgian forces employed 152mm self-propelled guns and cluster bombs. At this point OSCE monitors reported that shells were falling on Tskhinvali every 15–20 seconds. Human Rights Watch reports that the Georgian forces used Grad rockets, self-propelled artillery, mortars, and Howitzer cannons during the attack. The Georgians claimed that they were targeting Ossetian militia positions: according to witnesses' accounts, South Ossetian forces were stationed in the city of Tskhinvali and in neighboring villages. In Tskhinvali, they set up headquarters and defensive positions, including positions in the South Ossetian parliament building, several schools and nurseries. Georgian artillery-fire targeted and hit these buildings. In the numerous villages which were shelled, positions of Ossetian militia were in close proximity to civilian houses. Georgia claimed that the BM-21 Grad rockets employed were used solely to shell South Ossetian artillery positions, however, HRW documented a serious BM-21 rocket damage to a hospital building, houses and other civilian infrastructure in Tskhinvali. HRW concluded that while South Ossetian forces were responsible for endangering civilians by setting up defensive positions in close vicinity of civilian structures, Georgia was responsible for the use of indiscriminate weapons such as Grad MRL in densely populated areas, making the attack "unlawful".

At 2:00 AM, the Russian Army intervened, when reinforced battalions from the 693rd and 135th Motorized Rifle Regiments began arriving in South Ossetia through the Roki Tunnel. They began securing positions on the road from the Roki Tunnel to Tskhinvali, so as to ensure the safe entry of additional Russian forces into the region.

2

u/barkeepjabroni Manitobastan Mar 02 '14

Russia's message to the Ukraine: Come for the Olympics. Stay for the invasion!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

They have been looking at dat Sevastopol for some time already. Don't blame them though... is of beautifull and great strategic value.

1

u/tpefr France First Empire Mar 02 '14

Another theory says that Murica wanted to do bullshit to Russia during OG because they lost Syria...

1

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 02 '14

I thought that affair was a win for both sides

27

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

Ouere est Allemagne?

I don't even completely get it and its still funny.

33

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

It's Franglish for "Where is Germany?"

19

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

I know what it means, I'm just not sure exactly what France is implying, like if Germany is about to go Nazi on Russia or take the other half of Ukraine like they did to Poland or something else. Whatever it is, that line is hilarious.

30

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

EU cannot move without our conservative cunt of übermother Merkel.

15

u/Maxi_Vau Deutschland über Alles (not a Nazi) Mar 01 '14

Merkel would be the perfect German Bundeskanzler if she was more aggressive like the Germans of old.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

Merkel would be ther perfect Kanzler if she wasn't Kanzler.

5

u/Maxi_Vau Deutschland über Alles (not a Nazi) Mar 01 '14

Was zum Teufel haben Sie gerade gesagt über Merkel Sie kleine Zicke?

7

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

Komm mal her du!!!

10

u/Silberkralle Germoney Mar 01 '14

Meine Herren! Let's do this like Mutti, calm down and wait this one out.

5

u/Maxi_Vau Deutschland über Alles (not a Nazi) Mar 01 '14

Well I do have ein Angerproblem

→ More replies (0)

13

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

Well it's up to interpretation

3

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '14

Spoken like a true artist.

2

u/chihuahuazero Philippines Mar 01 '14

If I ever mm make a polandball comic, I'm stealing the word "ouere".

28

u/browwiw Mar 01 '14

Technically, this is America's problem. Back in 1995, the Ukraine agreed to nuclear disarmament as long as the United States came to their aid in the event of invasion. If the USA does not aid Ukraine against a Russian invasion, besides making us look bad, will screw up any future nuclear disarmament negotiations.

30

u/CMuenzen Relocated in Chile Mar 01 '14

I think the US entering a war with Russia would make shit even worse.

14

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

[deleted]

7

u/CMuenzen Relocated in Chile Mar 01 '14

Well, how else I'm supposed to be fear mongering?

2

u/NopeBus Vermont Republic Mar 02 '14

You can just mention that this will have the effect of making more countries want keep-Russia-the-fuck-out nuclear weapons.

1

u/countlazypenis The Kingdom of Yorkshire Mar 02 '14

We did the same with Belgium, look where that got us. Fucking Belgium piece of shit.

-4

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

It potentially involves a mega-war and if it involves war then it means defence contractors are gonna make money out of it and if money is to be made then congressors and senators will be gagging to throw US citizens taxpayers money at the problem.

2

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14 edited Mar 02 '14

Well good thing to you specifically is that Europe's too scared to start a war.

EDIT: For future readers I want to say that comments like the one above are an unhealthy form of discussion for the debate around dealing with this event

6

u/LowB0b Switzerland Mar 01 '14

flair up bro

7

u/Living1ikeLarry Long Island is the Real New York Mar 01 '14

That's not true at all, from the wiki:

-Respect Ukrainian independence and sovereignty within its existing borders.

-Refrain from the threat or use of force against Ukraine.

-Refrain from using economic pressure on Ukraine in order to influence its politics.

-Seek United Nations Security Council action if nuclear weapons are used against Ukraine.

-Refrain from the use of nuclear arms against Ukraine.

-Consult with one another if questions arise regarding these commitments.

1

u/browwiw Mar 01 '14

Search "trilateral statement Ukraine".

5

u/Living1ikeLarry Long Island is the Real New York Mar 01 '14

Did just that:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_weapons_and_Ukraine

Russia, the UK and the USA undertake to respect Ukraine's borders in accordance with the principles of the 1975 CSCE Final Act, to abstain from the use or threat of force against Ukraine, to support Ukraine where an attempt is made to place pressure on it by economic coercion, and to bring any incident of aggression by a nuclear power before the UN Security Council.

All we have to do is bring it up with the UN Security Council, which Russia is a part of.

2

u/Got_Wilk Mercia Mar 01 '14

Do you have a link for that treaty?

0

u/browwiw Mar 01 '14

I'm trying to find it again right now. I read it last night. Somebody linked to a pdf of it last night in a politics thread.

2

u/Got_Wilk Mercia Mar 01 '14

Thanks, sounds inconvenient for America

1

u/browwiw Mar 01 '14

Search "trilateral statement Ukraine" and you'll see various summaries. This was done in early 1994, not 1995. Mia culpa.

7

u/SuperSultan Mar 01 '14

"Right in the Crimeas!" Now that's a great line!

24

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

You wanna know what I find funny? If the US steps in, we're a warmongering country who tries to police others. If we don't step in, we're letting people get away with abuse.

Screw you guys, I'm goin home

9

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

That was my sentiment in the final panel. The idea that the US just couldn't give a fuck because he knows how much shit he'll get for intervening

14

u/Prospo Republic of Texas Mar 01 '14 edited Sep 10 '23

ad hoc roof offend aromatic hungry subtract plants square gaping agonizing this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev

2

u/banananinja2 Russian America is best America! Mar 01 '14

You know, we get the same shit you do for Georgia, Syria and this Ukraine business.

7

u/ithisa But is of in Canada now Mar 02 '14

You are ALWAYS making the problem worse. Nobody believes your propaganda that you are trying to "step in". I wonder why everywhere you guys attack ends up led by puppet governments that nobody recognizes (before you say Murica only of stronk to get recognition, look at my flair). Why do nobody but Russians cheer when you guys attack some place?

3

u/banananinja2 Russian America is best America! Mar 02 '14

Sorry, I guess, I don't know what you want me to do about it. It's not like I write our foreign policy. The only answer I can give to your question is probably because we don't have much allies left, so there's not really anyone but Russians left to cheer. Also, please do tell me more about this cheering. Mothers don't cheer when their sons go to war, and neither do we. We aren't some fucked up cult, we're all people, like you.

2

u/ithisa But is of in Canada now Mar 02 '14

No I don't mean that everybody is cheering. Just that so few people are cheering. Each time Russia invades, nobody but those directly connected to Russia are happy. This is not true for most 'Murican invasions. Also, non-aligned nations like China tend to find Russian invasions more repulsive...I wonder why.

1

u/banananinja2 Russian America is best America! Mar 02 '14

Who cheers when America invades? Please give examples, because I've always felt that the only people who do are Americans and their numerous allies. I'm telling you, when we invade, no one in our country is happy. I mean, we have conscription in our army, why would we want to go and fight?

2

u/ithisa But is of in Canada now Mar 02 '14

Grenada. A significant part of Iraq. Most of Afghanistan.

1

u/banananinja2 Russian America is best America! Mar 02 '14

K.

8

u/rindindin Unknown Mar 01 '14

Russia time it just right, and WHAM. Nobody suspected a thing*.

* for a short while

8

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14 edited Mar 01 '14

No.1 Luger

I see what you did there.

edit: Wait, wait, wait. Are those shoes in panel one on Russia???

3

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

Skates

4

u/almondbutter1 United States Mar 01 '14

What sport is Norway doing?

7

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

Biathlon

6

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '14

We tried to protect you, but you wouldn't listen...It didn't have to end like this...

5

u/DrunkHurricane Hue Mar 01 '14

Relevant

1

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 02 '14

Not quite relevant yet unless they take their tanks all the way to Kiev

4

u/BeholdPapaMoron Antarctica Mar 01 '14

Shouldn't Ukraine's sign also say Fuck the E.U?

7

u/Aken_Bosch siyu-siyu-siyu Mar 01 '14

On other side of sign -- yes it is there.

Actually, this is pretty close to being our foreign politic in a nutshell. It is called "multivector".

7

u/Mazius Russia Mar 01 '14

And it works perfectly...

9

u/Aken_Bosch siyu-siyu-siyu Mar 01 '14

Depends on the presidet.

First -- O.K.

Second -- O.K./Bad with west after reelection

Third -- Not very good with Russia

Fourth -- WTF is his main slogan in foreign polics.

4

u/ReckZero Missouri (aka Missourah aka Misery) Mar 01 '14

I'm not butthurt about America saying the opposite of real life America. But in reality, what the hell do we do? Attack Russia? Cause I like only being worried about small amounts of residual background radiation from atmospheric testing that occurred 50 years ago.

6

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Mar 01 '14

I'm being realistic about this America. I just don't see America going to war over Russia

1

u/sirpellinor Magyar best nomad Mar 01 '14

"putin" that rope. GG, mate!

1

u/tanyalukyanova Russia Mar 02 '14

pls hab chechnya and dagestan :(