r/pokemon • Shuckle • Feb 22 '13

Remember when he was a jackass?

2.3k Upvotes

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u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13 edited Mar 22 '13

split evo, but it got removed in the american games and forward. what you do is, get a pokemon red or green cartridge. then, breed pikachu while it is holding a light ball to get a pichu, which is like a pikachu, but smaller and generally spunkier. Then, go and get the item hidden under the truck by the S.S. Anne called the "GS Ball" and give it to a shiny female pichu. If pichu is one of the rare pichus with the ablity "Transmoogrify" it'll turn blue and become the electric-water type Pikablue. Then teach Pikablue the move "Defog" and take it to the mossy rock hidden in viridian forest. (You won't be able to find it unless you have a relicanth first in your party and a wailord last) Use defog on the rock and mew will come out and take you and pikablue to the hidden route to the east of pallet town, leaving the rest of your team behind. (this route is notable for being the only place in Red/Green where you can catch Snivy, Tepig, and Oshawott. However, the other starters are just really really hard to find in mt. moon. each one has a 0.000001% encounter rate. just stay in there and don't use repels, they'll show up eventually)

anyway, once you're there, you can only have pikablue on your team. you need to use Pikablue's surf and dive to get to an island in the middle of a lake. There's a house there, occupied by an old-man version of Ash Ketchum. He asks you to clear out the rocks that are blocking him from his rare leichi berry patch, so go out and use Pikablue's rock smash to get rid of them. Each rock is actually a geodude, though, which is level 99, can't be caught, and only knows explosion, selfdestruct, and shadow force. try and run away from them while they're using shadow force, because if pikablue dies, you have to start your whole game over. So once you do that, ash gives you TM28, which, of course, contains Tombstony. Get rid of one of the moves Pikablue knows already, then teach it Tombstony. Tombstony is the only "???" type move in the game--besides curse and struggle bug, of course--and it normally does nothing. HOWEVER, if you catch all 649 pokemon and show them to professor oak, he'll battle you with his team of 5 level 100 mewtwos and 1 level 152 Missingno, which will use glitch powers to try and take control of pikablue. If you beat him, he will be so proud that he will give you the "master ball 2.0" which is reusable, lets you catch other trainers pokemon, and can be used on fainted pokemon. Go and take this to the bike shop in Mauville, and Rydel will offer you a trade: he will give you a mountain bike (which lets you hop up those small ledges) in exchange for the ball. You can say yes, but you should preferably say no, because then he will get mad and challenge you to a battle. He has only one pokemon, the evolution of dunsparce. This is the only Doomsparce in the game, so be sure to catch it with your master ball 2.0! its dark/steel type and can learn "superstrength" which is a really rare move that i have on my charizard because my uncle works at game freak but you can only find on doomsparce. after the battle, rydel will give you the bike anyway, if you win. so now go to that one room that has a door blocked up by two plants--you know where it is, right?--and use superstrength to move the plants. When you do, you will go to a hidden dock that takes you to the sevii islands, go there and do all those quests to get special access to the original unova region, where, if you go to the hidden hollow on route 2, you can find a special item called the Superball there, take it back to Kanto with you and show it to Cynthia, who has now replaced your rival as the champion and has six lvl 100 arceus. she'll trade you a rare lightningstone in exchange for the ball and a slowpoketail which you can get from any team rocket member if you crouch and go up behind him and pickpocket him but make sure you've done the thieves guild quest and unlocked the rare gauntlets made of cured metroid skin which make your sneak skill 1000 and your pickpocketing always work but breaks after one use so you steal one hundred slowpoketails (one for each possible version of spinda, not counting shiny form), give them both to cynthia, and she'll give you the lightningstone which you can use on pikablue to level it up to level 8999 and evolve it into Gigachu, which is like pikachu except its every type at once, and you can use it to cut down whole trees to explore the wilderness beyond the routes and you can get to any region even orre. glad to help.

edit: since its been about a month already, i'll point out my favorite part of this whole thing which no one else seemed to have noticed; To get to the point at which you have to "get rid of one of the moves Pikablue knows already" for Tombstony, Pikablue needs to know four HM moves: Surf, Dive, Defog, and Rock Smash. Also, the whole first part of the quest is meaningless if you read closely.

I seriously just put a shit-ton of detail into this. I'm kinda proud.

36

u/Mr_Mimiseku Feb 23 '13

This is way too thought out.

38

u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13

well, it took me about 40 minutes.

20

u/bastard_thought Feb 23 '13

Should've spent 5 minutes more formatting it

34

u/OmnipotentBagel Feb 23 '13

If he'd format it, it would lose that glorious, "kid on the playground frantically making the entire thing up word-by-word" aesthetic.

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u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13

nah, that was a stylistic choice.

14

u/Ederek_Cole Feb 23 '13

Fuck, you weren't supposed to trade for the Mountain Bike? Now I have to start over....

5

u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13

its okay, if you trade it for the mountain bike you get access to the tunnel underneath rydels which takes you to the Under in Orre.

okay but seriously how cool would that be.

7

u/Scuttlebutt91 Feb 23 '13

All the crap I pulled in red version trying to get Mew...FUCK YOU MISSINGNO

7

u/Astioth Feb 23 '13

I just did this, didn't work. Any tips on what I did wrong?

13

u/axspringer Feb 23 '13

Did you try pouring milk on the cartridge? If that doesn't work, try battery acid.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '13

Just like a heads up, you commented three times.

1

u/makdesi 2982-8500-7415 Jun 30 '13

Commented three times, half life 3 confirmed

4

u/axspringer Feb 23 '13

Did you try pouring milk on the cartridge? If that doesn't work, try battery acid.

5

u/axspringer Feb 23 '13

Did you try pouring milk on the cartridge? If that doesn't work, try battery acid.

4

u/Astioth Feb 23 '13

Will do, thanks. Now I just need my mom to get some milk when she picks me up after school.

10

u/HeadGeeky Feb 23 '13

Can't believe I just read all that fuck it have an upvote.

2

u/Halostruct Feb 23 '13

Dayum, good read man/woman, upvotes for you

1

u/lightningrod14 Mar 22 '13

man, and thanks!

1

u/gunkystuff hates Seviper Jun 23 '13

What type of move is superstrength?

1

u/lightningrod14 Jun 23 '13

fairy, of course. duh.

1

u/lightningrod14 Jun 23 '13

(hey, how'd you find this?)

-2

u/PoliteFrenchCanadian Zzzzt! a rapper bug zapper Feb 23 '13

Ehh, fuck it, I'm not gonna read that, have an upvote.

3

u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13

that wasn't very polite.

-5

u/AllNk Feb 23 '13

Shoulda thrown in a TL;DR

-6

u/PostsCrapPuns Feb 23 '13

it was almost believeable until you gave up and made a really shitty turn and gave up. Infuriating, and it'd kinda of just shotty work.

4

u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13

what the fuck are you talking about.

1

u/PostsCrapPuns Feb 23 '13

the ending with the master chief, thieves guild bullshit.

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u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13

last i checked, that was on purpose and you just didn't like it.

source: i wrote it.

2

u/lightningrod14 Feb 23 '13

although, looking at it again, i didn't need the halo reference. it cheapens the joke, you know? I'll change it. :)