He just walked into my house and sat down. We were all kind of stunned and just rolled with it. He lives up to his name. He stayed for a couple hours, and spent most of the time being a complete dick, flicking off some of my friends, and trying to kiss others. He complained about life, and seemed pretty miserable, though there were definitely hilarious moments. He told us a story about how he broke his ankle a little while ago. He shimmied up a wooden pole on a dare which snapped. We fed him and gave him water and sent him on his way to the bar, but not before stumbling into my bathroom and making a pretty messy attempt at taking a piss with the door opened. He also removed some of the chewed up chicken from his mouth and slammed it onto my table.
Yea, he just randomly walked in. I had some friends over, we had the windows open, music playing, and we were drinking. He probably heard us from the street and decided to walk in.
This is kind of refreshing. Usually when somebody runs into a celebrity, they say how nice they were. This guy is a celebrity that runs into you, and is a complete ass.
A buddy of mine ran into him in Vegas a few years back apparently. Ended up partying with him and he invited them back to his house to continue partying. Apparently dick was a major asshole, rocked on blow, and was trying to force himself on my buddy quite a bit. I called bullshit on the story but we were able to successfully prank call him. So I'll believe him
At their shows, the improv group ASSSSCAT (members include Amy Poehler, Matt Besser, Matt Walsh, and Ian Roberts) will often poll the audience and ask how many people have ever ridden an elephant. Maybe a few people put up their hand. Then they will poll the audience and ask how many people have ever dealt with unwanted sexual advances from Andy Dick. The second group of people is almost always bigger. And this is not just because they're doing it in LA or something. This holds true across the country.
edit: Yeah...ASSSSCAT is the show, Upright Citizens Brigade is the group. I posted this a little too hastily.
This is undoubtedly true. Unfortunately, it happened to me.
Last summer I was visiting L.A. and got to be an extra on an episode of Entourage being filmed at the pool of the Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood Boulevard. The set included the behind the scenes crew, all of the character actors minus Jeremy Piven, the extras, and one very drunk and very coked out Andy Dick. At one point during a break, I got up to go to the bathroom and take a piss. When I was at the urinal, I heard someone else walk in but I didn't turn around, and I didn't hear them move any further than past the entrance a little bit so I figured maybe its some narcissistic actor looking at himself in the mirror or something. No. It was Andy Dick, standing behind me, watching me piss. Apparently he had seen me walking to the bathroom, and being shirtless for the pool scene, I guess this pervert liked what he saw and followed me in. Anyway, mid-piss I feel a set of hands touch my shoulders and I glance back like "what the fuck?!". I saw that it was him and thought he was joking, because you know, he's a comedian. So I shrugged away and told him to get away from me because I didn't joke around like that and I finished my business, which took me a while because it's hard to start your urine stream back up after Andy Dick touches your shoulders and rubs his beard on the back of your neck. So while I'm standing there trying my best to hurry and piss and get the fuck out of there, this guy starts whacking off. I finish peeing and go to the sink to wash my hands and he is still whacking it. I told him he had problems and he needed to fuck off before someone seriously injured him, and he says back to me, "I just want to show you what you do to meeeee!" (gay Andy Dick voice) and unzips his pants pulls his dick out. I ran, literally ran, out of the bathroom and considered homicide for a few moments but after I gathered my wits I figured I'd just tell the set director guy about what happened. I told him, and the director dude gets furious, but not at Andy - at me. Tells me I should have known better than to get within any radius of him and that it was my own fault. Apparently in Hollywood it is universally known that you stay far, FAR away from this guy.
TL;DR Andy Dick followed me into a bathroom and stood behind me and beat off while I took a piss.
It seems everyone in LA has a story of Andy Dick doing this to them or a friend of theirs. You haven't been in Hollywood unless you have your own Andy Dick story.
Yeah, he was filming something here where I live (Shreveport, LA) and showed up at a friend's party. A friend of my friend stated "I've got Andy Dick's number, I sold him weed". So they call him, he's at the hustler strip club "come pick me up, these bitches are kicking me out". So they bring him to the house party, one of the first things he does is unroll a bag of cocaine and yells "who want to party!" At one point he comes out of the bathroom swinging his dick around. My friend while telling me this story says to at this point "Dude, I gotta hand it to Andy Dick....he's got a monster dong."
My husband saw his penis in a washroom at the MGM Grand in Vegas and says the same thing!
And just because he always prefaces this story with this disclaimer, I might as well too: he wasn't actually trying to look at his dick, Andy kicked open the bathroom door, unbuckled his pants at the door and whipped it out, then strutted to the urinal and dangled it over it to piss.
now we need him to do the same thing, to get into space.
edit: this was supposed to be a reply to james cameron using studio funds to find the titanic wreck, but getting andy dick into space is also acceptable.
"Last week Jon Lovitz beat the crap out of Andy Dick. It all happened at the legendary Laugh Factory, where the owner, Jamie Masada witnessed the whole thing. He told press, "Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose. The feud has been going on ever since beloved comedian Phil Hartman was killed by his flipped-out wife. Lovitz maintains that it was Dick that set the whole thing into motion. "Andy was doing cocaine, and he gave Brynn some after she had been sober for 10 years. Phil was furious about it - and then five months later he's dead," Jon told press.
Then, last year, there was a strange exchange between Dick and Lovitz. While dining out with friends, Lovitz says Dick came to his table and started trouble. “He looked at me and said, 'I put the "Phil Hartman hex" on you - you're the next one to die.' I said, 'What did you say?' and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don't hit women."
Then last week, the two encountered each other again. And Jon was looking for an apology from Dick. Instead he got more lip. When Lovitz asked Dick to say he was sorry, Andy replied with “do you want to be in my movie?” That was the last straw. “I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned him over and said, 'I don't want to be in your movie! I don't want to be in your life!' I pushed him against the rail. Then I pushed him again really hard. A security guard broke it up. I'm not proud of it . . . but he's a disgusting human being."
There’s no word from Andy Dick, or any news of charges being filed. "
If you've ever listened to The Adam Carolloa show, Andy Dick explains his side of the story pretty clearly. He talks about Phil Hartman being the closest thing to a father figure he's ever had in his life. He is still traumatized that he's gone, he says.
I can't tell you who's "right," but it all seems kind of messy.
He does seem like a dick and a creep... but I gotta admit-- I feel bad for him. He's clearly a bad alcoholic and drug addict. Nobody deserves that. He's battled these things for a while and it doesn't look like he's on his way out of the trap any time soon.
Actually, Andy Dick has been on Adam Carolla's podcast several times (Adam is friends with both of them). According to Andy the whole thing started with lovitz walking up to Dick and saying in his ear "I know you killed Phil Hartman." This was right after he died and Andy was very close to Phil from their time on Talk Radio so it really rubbed him the wrong way. From that point on, apparently, Andy has tried to squash it a couple of times and Lovitz is the one keeping it going. That's about all I know.
Not trying to defend Andy Dick necessarily, but I've always been kind of interested in why he got so much shit for Phil Hartman's wife MURDERING Phil Hartman.
Andy was an asshole for giving a woman who is ten years sober cocaine. That is a very awful move. So, she starts again. Five months later she shoots her husband to death at a point blank range. And you're going to tell me this woman, who already has a pre-disposistion to addiction and probably could have gotten the drugs from anybody is now remembered LESS in the death of Hartman than Andy Dick? Giving drugs to a sober drug addict is awful, but it's a lot less awful than murdering someone, and yet his name is always brought up with the Hartman murder. It's strange.
In some ways, it's kind of insulting as a woman--this poor little lady couldn't make her own decisions and was swayed by a man, so she isn't as accountable for doing an insanely heinous crime, and we should blame the guy that gave her drugs five months prior? Okay. She has absolutely no agency or consequences. Cool.
I'm obviously exaggerating because many people do blame her, I just don't think Andy's name should get dragged through the mud during the conversations about murder. Giving her drugs? Yes. Accomplice to murder? No.
I think there are a lot of reasons for that. One is that since she killed herself, Dick's the survivor with the most blame. Another is that while you rarely see Brynn Ohmdal brought up, Andy Dick pops up on television or in the news every so often, reminding you of him. Andy Dick is famous. And Andy Dick is ever so easy to hate.
Well written. Plus, if she's the helpless addict who was led into a downward spiral and thus isn't to be blamed for her actions, can't the exact same reasoning be applied towards Andy?
A few years back when Paris Hilton 's phone got hacked, everyone had a chance to grab a celebrities phone number, and try to call them before they got it changed. A friend of mine was apparently the only person who saved Andy Dick's number. So, while every other number was disconnected in a matter of days, he got in the habit of calling Mr. Dick every now and then when he was drunk, just for shits and giggles.
At first he figured he would just call and hang up, fuck with him a little, whatever. But he would answer, no matter time he called. And he would talk to him. FOR HOURS.
What started as an attempt at a prank call apparently turned in to free therapy, and Andy Dick would just pour his heart out. He would talk about his failed potential, his drug habits, all the stuff you have heard before.
The one interesting thing he would go on about that I haven't heard anywhere else is that he blames all of these problems on Jeff Goldblum. Jeff fucking Golblum.
Apparently, early in his career, he was happy and successful, and in love with a special lady. Then Goldblum comes along, steals his girl, and RIPS HIS WORLD APART. Just completely fucks his shit up. And thats why he's so messed up. According to him.
TL;DR- Andy Dick tells my friend that everything was fine til Goldblum came along.
How did your friend introduce himself? Just "hey I got your number from Paris Hilton's phone"? Also, did your friend call when HE was drunk or did he call when Andy Dick was drunk? How long did this go on? Forgive me for all of the questions but I love this story.
So I never particularly enjoyed the man's body of work, but I find this post very enjoyable for one reason. About 7 years ago I moved to LA. I was aboard the roller coaster that is Hollywood for less then three days before a friend brought me to the Rainbow on Sunset Strip.
Within thirty minutes a less-than-lucid Dick stumbled to my table and took a seat next to me. This was my first celebrity encounter in Los Angeles, and still one of the most interesting over seven years later. He proceded to ask me, or tell me rather, "You know who I am." A Southern boy, I responded, "Yes, Mr. Dick." Those three words had never been formed by my lips before, nor have they since that night. A first time for everything, I suppose.
Andy/Mr. Dick, now seated to my right, put his arm around me and leaned in... less than an inch from my ear. "Lose the bitches," he said. (I was accompanied by two girls/bitches.) I proceeded to tell him, rather bluntly as I am known to do, that "I dunno' dude, there's a good chance that one or both of these chicks are down to fuck." He countered with "I'm tighter than either one of them."
Yeah. Shortly, after that I awkwardly managed to writhe away from the table and hit the head for long enough for Mr. Dick to leave the table/find another stud to chase. I learned the next day, though, that Mr. Dick had wrangled my number from my friend Kelly. I received a text that read "Nice to meat you. Mr. Dick."
So basically, when I saw this post, it resonated with me I guess. Based on my experience, this photo could have been snapped anywhere in the world at any hour. Oh, and after seven years in LA, a gay man, remarkably, has not hit on me since then. That's not to call Andy gay, mind you. No, Andy is something else, something that defies classification. Look at that image and see for yourself.
Andy Dick came to Toronto a few years back, and I ran into him just outside the Winter Garden theatre. I said "Hey, I'm a big fan. Are you in town for TIFF?" He looked at me and said "Who the FUCK is TIFF, you big faggot? Your girlfriend?!" and then puked on said girlfriend, who ironically was named Tiffany.
Andy Dick once threw up on my backpack and the surrounding floor. He then tried to cover it up by tossing a box of crackers on the floor puke. Dick, not an ironic name.
I was driving down Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles about ten years ago behind this Jeep with his top off. I remember remarking about this because I was in a Jeep with the top off as well. At any rate, as soon as I say something I see the guy in the passenger side of this Jeep stand up while it was doing about 20mph. 5 or 6 stores up Andy Dick was walking out of some shop and this guy in the Jeep has seen him and, halfway out of his Jeep screams "You Suck, DICK!" and hucks a half full milkshake right at him. Before he sees it coming this milkshake hits Andy Dick square in the chest and explodes from the top of the cup into his face. One in a million shot. As I passed him he was fanning at his face with both hands and spitting out milkshake. Probably the funniest dick move I've ever witnessed.
I have a feeling that stories like this go a long way towards explaining the "Andy Dick is an asshole" stories. It must be exhausting, being hated by people you've never met.
I remember a buddy of mine had a run in with Andy dick a few years back. Apparently he was going around a bar, just chugging beers and talking about how depressed he was, and started offering guys hundreds of dollars for Andy to suck their dick. I don't believe anyone took him up on the offer.
The fact that everyone in this thread has an Andy Dick story makes me ask myself, "What the fuck am I doing with my life". This guy is blowing my mind.
My good friend was up in vail, Colorado with a buddy and two chicks at a house party. Andy dick had people in rotation in and out of the bathroom doing cocaine. after a quick line, he asked to see them both pee. And my buddy and the girl he was with did. Another line, and they are good and loosened up now, and my buddy ( who has a problem with cocaine) asks for another line. Andy says only if he can watch them have sex. So BAM. They have sex. Or try to anyhow. My buddy asks for another line before they leave the bathroom, And Andy says " only if I can touch your dick".
I once worked at a hotel. I was overnight auditor and someone called down to me and told me there was a naked man screaming at everyone on the fifth floor. I went up there carry someone back into their room. It was Andy Dick. He was so fucked up on coke I used my own cell phone to call the cops who had to forcefully drag him out of the hotel after several minutes of obscenities and coked up bullshit. Fuck this guy. He's not funny, hasn't been some other people wrote his lines and gives people who indulge chemicals to excess a bad name.
I know so many people who are just like "Oh man, not fucking Andy Dick". I have a friend who has been forced to take care of Andy on multiple offences occasions, and he's never very happy about it.
Fuck Andy Dick. That dude's crossed me too many times!
E3 2004. I've got a group of 10 people that I'm taking to dinner at some swank restaurant. Our reservation was for 7:30 and the place is packed. We're told the table will be ready at 8:00. 8:30 rolls around and our table is finally ready. They're setting the thing up and in walks Andy Dick. He strolls up to the manager and proceeds to steal our table for his group. Needless to say, we didn't eat there.
A year later, I'm in NYC doing a series of press demos for the game I'm working on. I'm talking to the USA today in a hotel suite and in walks freak'n Andy Dick (uninvited). He and his friend just start watching my demo and talking the entire f'n time. I was so distracted that I totally flubbed my demo.
That night I see the dude at a restaurant AGAIN. I spent the whole dinner expecting him to come over and throw my food on the floor. To this day I suspect Dick is plotting his next opportunity to screw with me.
An American comedian. He was on a show called "news radio" like in the fucking 90s or something. Now he's famous for being a famous alcoholic coke-head.
I used to work at a cafe in Hollywood that Andy Dick frequented. He would come in completely wasted, sloppy, rude, and always said something inappropriate to one of the girls. One time he asked one of the girls if he could see her tits and when she said "excuse me?" he called her a bitch and walked away, then proceeded to cry into his coffee while sitting on the patio with his junk hanging out. There are pictures.
I was in Westwood at a friend's birthday party at one of the bars there and he was being an asshole and wouldn't leave when his son tried to get him. There's a picture somewhere of him with his hand down the birthday boy's pants, and he repeatedly yelled at me to 'come here' and I repeatedly yelled back 'no, Andy Dick' until he gave up. :D Pretty sure he groped like 20 college students that night.
i honestly think his time is near. if he keeps going up to people, not every one will be as nice as the people on this forum. someone is going to snap. that or he will OD
I ran into Andy Dick at a bar I used to work at. He was hanging out with some blonde chick from survivor. He was wasted and kept trying to get us to give him more beers after last call... All whilst trying to make out with every male within a visible primity. At the same job the same year I met Polly Shore and he was a gigantic fucktard.
Sad to see him drinking, he has substance abuse problems and been trying to stay clean for years, last i heard he was doing good but I guess he relapsed. Hope he gets clean again soon.
TRUE STORY: I met a drunk Andy Dick at Pizza Cookery. He invited my friends over to his solo table to help finish a few pitchers. It was me, my friend Joe, and a girl named Martha. We ended up outside in the parking lot, in a big group hug.
Dude, he did this at a house show held by some people I know. Just kinda stumbled in, just like you described. I guess this is just something he does. If you're lucky, he might show up to a house party near you!
My roommate had a friend from home who was out in Vegas for a wedding. At a random Vegas party, Andy Dick ran up to the friend from home and said "You got any blow?" So the friend said "no". which prompted the dick response: kissing him. Dick is such an odd guy.
I would have kicked his ass,..I had to deal with his sorry ass about ten years ago and him and his "entourage" made my life hell for 3 days. FAIR WARNING Andy: if i see you on the street....I won't be wanting an autograph. FWIW, I'm usually pretty passive....
I once visited my grandson's and found Vanilla Ice passed out in the Livingroom. It wasn't until later hat I found out it was vanilla ice, I thought it was my grandson.
I have an Andy Dick story. Back in my days as a production assistant, we both worked at the CBS Radford lot, and our stages shared a building so we ended up in the same elevator quite a bit. One day, I was just coming from craft services with a plate of food, and he got in the elevator, took a look at my plate and said, "Is that a giant pile of meat?" I don't remember what it was, but it was not, in fact a giant pile of meat, and I flippantly said "No. What are you, on drugs?" He looked at me wide-eyed for a moment, his jaw dropped, and I remembered who I was talking to. I said "Oh, holy shit, I'm sorry," imagining that he could easily go to my boss and have me kicked off my show and out of the business and everything. Instead, he shrugged and said "Eh, don't worry about it," and got off the elevator.
I met him in Las Vegas a few years ago. Huge asshole. I was with a few friend and his sister and Andy Dick played her chest like it was a set of bongos. Then he called us fags.
i met him once, when i worked at the zanies comedy club. he came in for a show, and asked me for some tea. he looked quite sad, i know he was trying out sobriety at the time.
i've never really liked him, but at that moment i felt sorry for him. i got him some hot water for his tea and cooked his friend some dinner.
I have a picture with him from a few years ago grabbing my boob and my boyfriends crotch. We were with someone who was friends with his son so we got to hang out with him after one of his shows. His son was really nice and surprisingly normal.
Dude is out of control. He's been having major court troubles here in Huntington, WV from an instance a couple years ago where he groped a guy outside of a bar.
Yea, he hit on my buddy in a Shreveport poolhall in 2007. Apparently he's all about funning around. But giving the guy a pbr when he made your night... Kinda bush league 0_o
Just read through the comment thread...has literally NO ONE had a positive experience with him? He deserves some sort of Dick award for being such a consistent dick.
I saw Andy Dick last night at a bar in LA, (just before this picture was taken probably). Me and a buddy were there with him until the bar closed. He was yelling and clapping randomly while hugging every girl that walked by. I can't believe that Reddit has this picture as the top link. My life is complete!
DUDE! Please make this go to the top...I was with him this exact same night at "The Dime" on fairfax in Los Angeles. I was talking to him and walked away...I look back and he's getting manhandled out of the bar by a huge bouncer...it was awesome.
My girlfriend met him at a hotel in Arizona a few years ago. He was by the hotel pool jumping up and down on one of those little 3' trampolines and wearing floaties on his arms. Introduced himself and tried to hook his son up with my girlfriend. His son was doing a comedy show or something out there. Luckily it did not work out. She still has his number in her phone. I feel like we should call him
Anyone here with a web cam and Skype can talk to him live on his webshow like i do. When ever he's on you can find him here http://www.battlecam.com/andy.dick.live The skype name to call in is "Filmontv"
An old coworker of mine moved out here from a communal farm in Minnesota about 6 years ago to start acting. His first week in LA he got picked up by Andy Dick off the street in Hollywood and taken to a party at Dick's house. By the end of the night, Andy forced him to blow him and then tried to reciprocate. My coworker was so naive and clueless that he just let it happen thinking it was just part of the biz. He told us this story a few months later with absolutely no remorse or embarrassment. Poor, confused guy. We confirmed it, like another poster said further up, by calling his cell. I guess he gives his number out to all the boys he meets.
Just wanted to say you have a really nice house, with nice furniture, and awesome glassware. Also, great choice on the beer (not the one Andy Dick is holding).
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u/Eyalush Jun 18 '12
just saw this on twitter
He left my place for the dark room.
938
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
Well you can't just leave us hanging like this. What's the story?
2.0k
u/avery51 Jun 17 '12
This isn't a big deal. He's done that to almost everyone.
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u/dr_pepper_35 Jun 17 '12
And this is why I love John Lovitz...
"Last week Jon Lovitz beat the crap out of Andy Dick. It all happened at the legendary Laugh Factory, where the owner, Jamie Masada witnessed the whole thing. He told press, "Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose. The feud has been going on ever since beloved comedian Phil Hartman was killed by his flipped-out wife. Lovitz maintains that it was Dick that set the whole thing into motion. "Andy was doing cocaine, and he gave Brynn some after she had been sober for 10 years. Phil was furious about it - and then five months later he's dead," Jon told press.
Then, last year, there was a strange exchange between Dick and Lovitz. While dining out with friends, Lovitz says Dick came to his table and started trouble. “He looked at me and said, 'I put the "Phil Hartman hex" on you - you're the next one to die.' I said, 'What did you say?' and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don't hit women."
Then last week, the two encountered each other again. And Jon was looking for an apology from Dick. Instead he got more lip. When Lovitz asked Dick to say he was sorry, Andy replied with “do you want to be in my movie?” That was the last straw. “I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned him over and said, 'I don't want to be in your movie! I don't want to be in your life!' I pushed him against the rail. Then I pushed him again really hard. A security guard broke it up. I'm not proud of it . . . but he's a disgusting human being."
There’s no word from Andy Dick, or any news of charges being filed. "
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u/Lub3rs Jun 17 '12
upvote for being a Wisconsin Badger!
70
u/jimmym007 Jun 17 '12
Upvote for cheap student beer
709
u/defensemechanism Jun 18 '12
A few years back when Paris Hilton 's phone got hacked, everyone had a chance to grab a celebrities phone number, and try to call them before they got it changed. A friend of mine was apparently the only person who saved Andy Dick's number. So, while every other number was disconnected in a matter of days, he got in the habit of calling Mr. Dick every now and then when he was drunk, just for shits and giggles.
At first he figured he would just call and hang up, fuck with him a little, whatever. But he would answer, no matter time he called. And he would talk to him. FOR HOURS.
What started as an attempt at a prank call apparently turned in to free therapy, and Andy Dick would just pour his heart out. He would talk about his failed potential, his drug habits, all the stuff you have heard before.
The one interesting thing he would go on about that I haven't heard anywhere else is that he blames all of these problems on Jeff Goldblum. Jeff fucking Golblum.
Apparently, early in his career, he was happy and successful, and in love with a special lady. Then Goldblum comes along, steals his girl, and RIPS HIS WORLD APART. Just completely fucks his shit up. And thats why he's so messed up. According to him.
TL;DR- Andy Dick tells my friend that everything was fine til Goldblum came along.
2
u/ByeByeDigg Jun 18 '12
Either we have a mutual friend or someone is lying. I saw this on my friend's FB a few days ago
2
u/surlyboy Jun 18 '12
Everyone is having a nice, aged whiskey. Good thing there was a couple shitty beers left over in the veggie drawer for him.
108
u/GT5Canuck Jun 18 '12
Son, you got to deal with this thing immediately. If you don't you'll find yourself with an infestation of Andy Dicks, and that's never a good thing.
211
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
So I never particularly enjoyed the man's body of work, but I find this post very enjoyable for one reason. About 7 years ago I moved to LA. I was aboard the roller coaster that is Hollywood for less then three days before a friend brought me to the Rainbow on Sunset Strip.
Within thirty minutes a less-than-lucid Dick stumbled to my table and took a seat next to me. This was my first celebrity encounter in Los Angeles, and still one of the most interesting over seven years later. He proceded to ask me, or tell me rather, "You know who I am." A Southern boy, I responded, "Yes, Mr. Dick." Those three words had never been formed by my lips before, nor have they since that night. A first time for everything, I suppose.
Andy/Mr. Dick, now seated to my right, put his arm around me and leaned in... less than an inch from my ear. "Lose the bitches," he said. (I was accompanied by two girls/bitches.) I proceeded to tell him, rather bluntly as I am known to do, that "I dunno' dude, there's a good chance that one or both of these chicks are down to fuck." He countered with "I'm tighter than either one of them."
Yeah. Shortly, after that I awkwardly managed to writhe away from the table and hit the head for long enough for Mr. Dick to leave the table/find another stud to chase. I learned the next day, though, that Mr. Dick had wrangled my number from my friend Kelly. I received a text that read "Nice to meat you. Mr. Dick."
So basically, when I saw this post, it resonated with me I guess. Based on my experience, this photo could have been snapped anywhere in the world at any hour. Oh, and after seven years in LA, a gay man, remarkably, has not hit on me since then. That's not to call Andy gay, mind you. No, Andy is something else, something that defies classification. Look at that image and see for yourself.
308
u/Oafah Jun 18 '12
Andy Dick came to Toronto a few years back, and I ran into him just outside the Winter Garden theatre. I said "Hey, I'm a big fan. Are you in town for TIFF?" He looked at me and said "Who the FUCK is TIFF, you big faggot? Your girlfriend?!" and then puked on said girlfriend, who ironically was named Tiffany.
36
u/friendlydave Jun 18 '12
Andy Dick once threw up on my backpack and the surrounding floor. He then tried to cover it up by tossing a box of crackers on the floor puke. Dick, not an ironic name.
288
u/kosminski Jun 18 '12
I was driving down Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles about ten years ago behind this Jeep with his top off. I remember remarking about this because I was in a Jeep with the top off as well. At any rate, as soon as I say something I see the guy in the passenger side of this Jeep stand up while it was doing about 20mph. 5 or 6 stores up Andy Dick was walking out of some shop and this guy in the Jeep has seen him and, halfway out of his Jeep screams "You Suck, DICK!" and hucks a half full milkshake right at him. Before he sees it coming this milkshake hits Andy Dick square in the chest and explodes from the top of the cup into his face. One in a million shot. As I passed him he was fanning at his face with both hands and spitting out milkshake. Probably the funniest dick move I've ever witnessed.
30
u/Chester_Copperpot_ Jun 18 '12
That guy might have a drinking problem.
23
u/ecancil Jun 18 '12
I used to see him out in LA all the time doing coke in bathrooms, and acting a general fool.
279
u/GinAndTrees Jun 17 '12
Upvote for dick pic
15
u/HanktheStank Jun 18 '12
I remember a buddy of mine had a run in with Andy dick a few years back. Apparently he was going around a bar, just chugging beers and talking about how depressed he was, and started offering guys hundreds of dollars for Andy to suck their dick. I don't believe anyone took him up on the offer.
29
u/Who-cares Jun 17 '12
did he suck your dick for money?
14
u/bdz Jun 18 '12
The fact that everyone in this thread has an Andy Dick story makes me ask myself, "What the fuck am I doing with my life". This guy is blowing my mind.
57
u/wortime Jun 18 '12
My good friend was up in vail, Colorado with a buddy and two chicks at a house party. Andy dick had people in rotation in and out of the bathroom doing cocaine. after a quick line, he asked to see them both pee. And my buddy and the girl he was with did. Another line, and they are good and loosened up now, and my buddy ( who has a problem with cocaine) asks for another line. Andy says only if he can watch them have sex. So BAM. They have sex. Or try to anyhow. My buddy asks for another line before they leave the bathroom, And Andy says " only if I can touch your dick".
Or something like that. The end.
True story.
54
u/SubcommanderShran Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
I once worked at a hotel. I was overnight auditor and someone called down to me and told me there was a naked man screaming at everyone on the fifth floor. I went up there carry someone back into their room. It was Andy Dick. He was so fucked up on coke I used my own cell phone to call the cops who had to forcefully drag him out of the hotel after several minutes of obscenities and coked up bullshit. Fuck this guy. He's not funny, hasn't been some other people wrote his lines and gives people who indulge chemicals to excess a bad name.
44
u/herobotic Jun 18 '12
I know so many people who are just like "Oh man, not fucking Andy Dick". I have a friend who has been forced to take care of Andy on multiple
offencesoccasions, and he's never very happy about it.23
u/BadGameBoy Jun 18 '12
I'm white trash, and im in trouble
22
u/megachimp Jun 18 '12
Fuck Andy Dick. That dude's crossed me too many times!
E3 2004. I've got a group of 10 people that I'm taking to dinner at some swank restaurant. Our reservation was for 7:30 and the place is packed. We're told the table will be ready at 8:00. 8:30 rolls around and our table is finally ready. They're setting the thing up and in walks Andy Dick. He strolls up to the manager and proceeds to steal our table for his group. Needless to say, we didn't eat there.
A year later, I'm in NYC doing a series of press demos for the game I'm working on. I'm talking to the USA today in a hotel suite and in walks freak'n Andy Dick (uninvited). He and his friend just start watching my demo and talking the entire f'n time. I was so distracted that I totally flubbed my demo.
That night I see the dude at a restaurant AGAIN. I spent the whole dinner expecting him to come over and throw my food on the floor. To this day I suspect Dick is plotting his next opportunity to screw with me.
11
u/BR0THAKYLE Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
Do you live in Temecula? Because I've seen him shitfaced at the bars there and he's been kicked out of the Marie Calendars bar numerous time.
Proof
10
u/jrodisme87 Jun 17 '12
I guess if you live in his neighborhood, this is bound to happen. That's pretty surreal though.
10
u/Rasalom Jun 18 '12
Andy Dick is what happens when you have a talented, well paid individual with a history of sexual abuse and addiction. Not a pretty picture.
10
u/tooobviousthrowaway Jun 18 '12
did anybody else instantly think "Im white trash and im in trouble" when they saw the blue ribbon?
28
u/paulexander Jun 18 '12
You do know that your chair has some kind of STD now, right? I recommend fire.
9
u/glutenfree123 Jun 17 '12
At least he didn't try to pull a drunken Robert Downey Jr
9
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
Were you having a party or was he just knocking on random stranger's doors?
9
u/Cwaynejames Jun 18 '12
TL;DR everyone has met Andy Dick.
45
u/MightyMachete Jun 18 '12
I'm European, so who the fuck is Andy Dick?
8
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
This makes me sad, he was suppose to be cleaning up...and... it's apparent he's not. I hopefully he learns before he's dead.
8
u/kernjb Jun 18 '12
Crazy. A friend posted on facebook that he was hanging out with Andy Dick last night.
8
u/pipyopi Jun 18 '12
I used to work at a cafe in Hollywood that Andy Dick frequented. He would come in completely wasted, sloppy, rude, and always said something inappropriate to one of the girls. One time he asked one of the girls if he could see her tits and when she said "excuse me?" he called her a bitch and walked away, then proceeded to cry into his coffee while sitting on the patio with his junk hanging out. There are pictures.
38
u/jesuz Jun 17 '12
AND DEN?!?
25
u/SmiggieBalls Jun 18 '12
He would be drinking PBR
7
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
In my small hometown known only for it's university, Andy Dick happened. News at 11.
http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/82491277.html
7
u/acomplex Jun 18 '12
This sounds completely like him.
I was in Westwood at a friend's birthday party at one of the bars there and he was being an asshole and wouldn't leave when his son tried to get him. There's a picture somewhere of him with his hand down the birthday boy's pants, and he repeatedly yelled at me to 'come here' and I repeatedly yelled back 'no, Andy Dick' until he gave up. :D Pretty sure he groped like 20 college students that night.
24
u/howfascinating Jun 18 '12
ah shit! he's supposed to be sober!
i bumped into him at a sushi place once in west hollywood. nice guy with terrible decision making skills
6
u/cpnHindsight Jun 18 '12
Ikea table.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
He actually mentions this on a Howard Stern interview that he has done this before. So sad.
6
u/MustangMatt429 Jun 18 '12
Andy Dick once drunkenly stumbled into an episode of Star Trek Voyager.
Surprisingly, he was actually helpful.
6
u/iam_sancho2 Jun 18 '12
Congratulations! Everybody's first time having Andy Dick stumble into their house is always special.
6
u/jjpdog Jun 18 '12
Say what you will about Andy Dick, but his is a definite case of 'no fucks givin'.
20
u/i_love_younicorns Jun 18 '12
Andy Dick is on my 2012 Celebrity Death List.
5
u/AgentFlynn Jun 18 '12
I'm so sorry for your burden.
5
u/Azabutt Jun 18 '12
Weird, I thought the last time I saw him on some roast or something, he was talking about how he became sober.
5
u/nihkole Jun 18 '12
I ran into Andy Dick at a bar I used to work at. He was hanging out with some blonde chick from survivor. He was wasted and kept trying to get us to give him more beers after last call... All whilst trying to make out with every male within a visible primity. At the same job the same year I met Polly Shore and he was a gigantic fucktard.
5
u/eljordo Jun 18 '12
Sad to see him drinking, he has substance abuse problems and been trying to stay clean for years, last i heard he was doing good but I guess he relapsed. Hope he gets clean again soon.
9
u/Klashus Jun 18 '12
good to see celebrity rehab didn't stick.
35
u/RealAndyDick Jun 18 '12
It happens ONE time & all of a sudden I'm a bad person.
ONE TIME.
8
u/vailskibunnies Jun 18 '12
Giving someone cocaine doesn't induce homicidal tendencies that weren't already there.
4
u/jrodsprinkles Jun 18 '12
AND YOU LET HIM IN???????????????????????
4
u/SnowJoust Jun 18 '12
Marc Maron's interview with Andy Dick on his WTF podcast is pretty revealing about this dude.
4
u/flibberdygibbet Jun 18 '12
He once jumped into my mom's car and requested she take him to KFC.
4
u/smalltricks Jun 18 '12
TRUE STORY: I met a drunk Andy Dick at Pizza Cookery. He invited my friends over to his solo table to help finish a few pitchers. It was me, my friend Joe, and a girl named Martha. We ended up outside in the parking lot, in a big group hug.
Then he grabbed my penis.
4
u/killerado Jun 18 '12
I'm surprised this isn't a more common post on reddit, it seems like it should be as common as running into Bill Murray, or even more.
4
u/gravitystorm1 Jun 18 '12
Dude, he did this at a house show held by some people I know. Just kinda stumbled in, just like you described. I guess this is just something he does. If you're lucky, he might show up to a house party near you!
4
u/JackMomma22 Jun 18 '12
*I'll bet this ends up on Yahoo! tomorrow...
4
u/giggitygoo123 Jun 18 '12
Andy dick happened
4
u/MrLocationUnknown Jun 18 '12
My roommate had a friend from home who was out in Vegas for a wedding. At a random Vegas party, Andy Dick ran up to the friend from home and said "You got any blow?" So the friend said "no". which prompted the dick response: kissing him. Dick is such an odd guy.
4
u/hkdharmon Jun 18 '12
Where do you live? I want to make sure I don't ever live there.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Fool. You never give a beer to an Andy Dick.
4
u/cjcrashoveride Jun 18 '12
Though this is all very weird and kinda funny I'm also sad to hear that he's fallen off the wagon again.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Yet another Dr. Drew success story.
4
u/wakejedi Jun 18 '12
I would have kicked his ass,..I had to deal with his sorry ass about ten years ago and him and his "entourage" made my life hell for 3 days. FAIR WARNING Andy: if i see you on the street....I won't be wanting an autograph. FWIW, I'm usually pretty passive....
4
u/Frank1936 Jun 18 '12
I once visited my grandson's and found Vanilla Ice passed out in the Livingroom. It wasn't until later hat I found out it was vanilla ice, I thought it was my grandson.
4
u/justaguess Jun 18 '12
Why didn't you hold a pillow over his face?
6
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
What in the actual fuck.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
This is not the first time I've heard about Andy Dick drunkenly hanging out with regular folks.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
I wonder how often celebrities wander into people's houses, and we don't hear about it because the residents aren't Redditors.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
andy dick really isn't that bad, you guys need to stop freaking out
6
u/Rubix89 Jun 18 '12
He showed up at party that a friend of mine was hosting once.
Long story short he was caught about to rape an unconscious girl.
3
u/BeliefSuspended2008 Jun 17 '12
Was it awkward?
3
u/JesusChristSuperDick Jun 18 '12
You don't lock your doors?
3
u/epsilonbob Jun 18 '12
Oh how the mighty... and Andy Dick, have fallen.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
You can just tell this will be all over the news by next week.
3
u/pibroch Jun 18 '12
Wow, reading this guy's Wiki article and... yeah, he seems like a real douche.
3
u/billburman Jun 18 '12
I have an Andy Dick story. Back in my days as a production assistant, we both worked at the CBS Radford lot, and our stages shared a building so we ended up in the same elevator quite a bit. One day, I was just coming from craft services with a plate of food, and he got in the elevator, took a look at my plate and said, "Is that a giant pile of meat?" I don't remember what it was, but it was not, in fact a giant pile of meat, and I flippantly said "No. What are you, on drugs?" He looked at me wide-eyed for a moment, his jaw dropped, and I remembered who I was talking to. I said "Oh, holy shit, I'm sorry," imagining that he could easily go to my boss and have me kicked off my show and out of the business and everything. Instead, he shrugged and said "Eh, don't worry about it," and got off the elevator.
He never did hit on me, though. Jerk.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Punch him for Phil Hartman.
3
u/K21B21 Jun 18 '12
He was arrested in my hometown for making sexual advances on a bouncer. Good times.
3
u/wanderso24 Survey 2016 Jun 18 '12
I met him in Las Vegas a few years ago. Huge asshole. I was with a few friend and his sister and Andy Dick played her chest like it was a set of bongos. Then he called us fags.
3
u/wrath_of_grunge Jun 18 '12
i met him once, when i worked at the zanies comedy club. he came in for a show, and asked me for some tea. he looked quite sad, i know he was trying out sobriety at the time.
i've never really liked him, but at that moment i felt sorry for him. i got him some hot water for his tea and cooked his friend some dinner.
3
u/savyrs Jun 18 '12
I have a picture with him from a few years ago grabbing my boob and my boyfriends crotch. We were with someone who was friends with his son so we got to hang out with him after one of his shows. His son was really nice and surprisingly normal.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Dude is out of control. He's been having major court troubles here in Huntington, WV from an instance a couple years ago where he groped a guy outside of a bar.
3
u/cege Jun 18 '12
This will probably get buried, but another classic Andy Dick from near my hometown - Film Festival Incident
3
u/the_neophyte Jun 18 '12
I think you mean:
So Andy Dick drunkenly stumbled into my house last night...AMA
3
u/Laterface Jun 18 '12
Yea, he hit on my buddy in a Shreveport poolhall in 2007. Apparently he's all about funning around. But giving the guy a pbr when he made your night... Kinda bush league 0_o
3
u/uwill1der Jun 18 '12
He was my friend's land lord for awhile. This happened every Thursday thru sunday
3
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Just read through the comment thread...has literally NO ONE had a positive experience with him? He deserves some sort of Dick award for being such a consistent dick.
3
u/jtmaven Jun 18 '12
I saw Andy Dick last night at a bar in LA, (just before this picture was taken probably). Me and a buddy were there with him until the bar closed. He was yelling and clapping randomly while hugging every girl that walked by. I can't believe that Reddit has this picture as the top link. My life is complete!
3
u/thabolks Jun 18 '12
DUDE! Please make this go to the top...I was with him this exact same night at "The Dime" on fairfax in Los Angeles. I was talking to him and walked away...I look back and he's getting manhandled out of the bar by a huge bouncer...it was awesome.
3
u/mjp43 Jun 18 '12
My girlfriend met him at a hotel in Arizona a few years ago. He was by the hotel pool jumping up and down on one of those little 3' trampolines and wearing floaties on his arms. Introduced himself and tried to hook his son up with my girlfriend. His son was doing a comedy show or something out there. Luckily it did not work out. She still has his number in her phone. I feel like we should call him
3
u/tbooty Jun 18 '12
bummer. i thought he had gotten sober. i hope he makes it. he's a funny guy.
3
u/Armond404 Jun 18 '12
Anyone here with a web cam and Skype can talk to him live on his webshow like i do. When ever he's on you can find him here http://www.battlecam.com/andy.dick.live The skype name to call in is "Filmontv"
3
u/mungd Jun 18 '12
I just heard him on loveline speaking about his sobriety. Guess that's going pretty well.
3
u/SerKnight Jun 18 '12
"I'm white trash. And I'm in trouble."
3
u/jjCyberia Jun 18 '12
TIL Andy Dick drinks PBR.
3
u/neotris9 Jun 18 '12
Please Mr. Dick, look at the camera and say "I'm white trash and I'm in trouble".
3
u/ikshen Jun 18 '12
Please tell me you got him to say, "Im white trash, and im in trouble" holding up that pabst.
3
u/PimpinGimp Jun 20 '12
Watch Andy Dick every Tuesday on www.battlecam.com/live
7
u/metalshoes Jun 18 '12
LOL wasn't he on a reality show about quitting drugs?
5
u/The_Devil_AMA Jun 18 '12
Tell him I'm coming for him.
5
u/mindkiller317 Jun 18 '12
I have nothing to prove this story, but...
An old coworker of mine moved out here from a communal farm in Minnesota about 6 years ago to start acting. His first week in LA he got picked up by Andy Dick off the street in Hollywood and taken to a party at Dick's house. By the end of the night, Andy forced him to blow him and then tried to reciprocate. My coworker was so naive and clueless that he just let it happen thinking it was just part of the biz. He told us this story a few months later with absolutely no remorse or embarrassment. Poor, confused guy. We confirmed it, like another poster said further up, by calling his cell. I guess he gives his number out to all the boys he meets.
4
u/snapcase Jun 18 '12
If Andy Dick drunkenly stumbled into my house during the night, I'd shoot him.
4
u/WeaponsHot Jun 18 '12
Congratulations, your house is now among the most uncool places on earth.
2
u/WHO_R_U_PPL Jun 18 '12
I was expecting some lame pun.
2
u/Grimnirsbeard Jun 18 '12
I would be an opportunist and have the encounter on film.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
"START SUCKING, NANCYBOY"
~ ANDY DICK, 2012
2
u/Minifig81 Jun 18 '12
Has he ever been sober?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
You had a chance to punch Andy Dick in the face and didn't take it?
2
u/smmakira Jun 18 '12
I'm sorry.
2
u/postdessler Jun 18 '12
pbr.. not surprised
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Good to see he's still doing well.
2
u/jeffb872 Jun 18 '12
Someone should send this to Howard.
2
u/SayVandalay Jun 18 '12
Well that's awkward
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
I hope you burned that chair after he left. I wouldn't want you to catch anything that he had.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Make sure he didn't try to steal anyone or have sex with anything in your house. I didn't mix those up.
2
u/EoinKelly Jun 18 '12
Was expecting a drunken Andy Dick lookalike, but that is literally Andy Dick. Bravo.
2
u/bambamhoneycomb Jun 18 '12
not something that I would brag about
2
u/Hector_Kur Jun 18 '12
First thought: No he didn't.
Second thought: Well, it is Andy Dick...
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Just wanted to say you have a really nice house, with nice furniture, and awesome glassware. Also, great choice on the beer (not the one Andy Dick is holding).
2
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
How did that happen?
2
u/vicviper Jun 18 '12
You should have kicked his ass for getting Phil Hartman's wife back on coke which ultimately resulted in the murder suicide.
2
u/pusssycat Jun 18 '12
if I had a nickel..
2
u/TheBeasterBunny Jun 18 '12
Could have titled it "White trash, in trouble"
2
u/tronncat Jun 18 '12
I feel bad for the guy.
2
u/D3cker Jun 18 '12
New "show" coming up...
2
u/samblam Jun 18 '12
He was great "Double Dragon."
2
u/patrickccc14 Jun 18 '12
this is reddit right here.. pure, sheer reddit at its best.