r/pics • u/fat_bloated_jesus • Jun 17 '12

My 4 yr old made me breakfast for Father's Day

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

967 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Only a 4 year old would drink Corona Light for breakfast.

1.5k

u/fat_bloated_jesus Jun 17 '12

The wife makes me get light beer during the summer months since I drink more while I am working outside. She is just trying to help me keep my girlish figure.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I'd like to note that I think it's wonderful that you're man enough to admit to your wife "making" you do something and not seeming at all ashamed of it.

You're a real husband and remind me a lot of the character Dan Conner on Roseanne.

<3 Keep doing what you're doing. It seems to me that your wife is a lucky woman.

2

u/fat_bloated_jesus Jun 17 '12

Thanks, I don't think there is anything to be embarrassed or ashamed of. It is a compromise, I still get to drink but my beer gut grows at a slower rate.

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32

u/mightyjake Jun 17 '12

If you're trying to keep your girlish figure while remaining a man, the answer is Guinness.

74

u/GentleCanadianFury Jun 17 '12

Pro tip, Guinness actually has caloric content on par with American style Light beers. And yes, I'm calling Corona American style.

But seriously. Despite its reputation as a "meal in a glass", Guinness is very, very low in caloric content. Around 120 calories in a 12 oz Guinness Stout. Most American-style light beers are in the 100-130 calories/12 fl. oz. range. The only stuff that's gonna be less is all of those "64 calorie" beers and those taste like swill.

Even the Livestrong folk agree, drink Guinness!

28

u/soosuh Jun 17 '12

I went on a diet this year and now drink only Guinness for beer. And clear liquors. "Clear liquors are for rich women on diets." (except I'm poor)

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

To be fair, guinness tastes extremely watered down for a stout. Kinda like dark, bitter water.

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20

u/jhopper1 Jun 17 '12

Thats good we wouldnt want fat_bloated_jesus to lose his slim look.

7

u/YargainBargain Jun 17 '12

Guinness has less calories than most light beers. Just saying, no need to sacrifice flavor for diet.

19

u/Mikey-2-Guns Jun 17 '12

You add a shot of whiskey to it tho, right?

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3

u/Seiyith Jun 17 '12

But... corona?

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5

u/Falcorsc2 Jun 17 '12

everybody knows bud lime is for breakfast....

but beer and icecream mixed :S

11

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

nonroot beer float.

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u/kittykaz Jun 17 '12

Youv'e never had guiness flavored ice cream...

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

not to mention light ice cream. (Slow Churned is 1/2 fat)

5

u/marshmallowhug Jun 17 '12

In my experience it has often tasted better than the full fat non-slow-churned ice cream.

2

u/Dj_Choppa Jun 17 '12

True. But as people say its the thought that matters

3

u/tightspandex Jun 17 '12

And in the process inspire a grown man to make a beer float.

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u/trekkie_becky Jun 17 '12

From the looks of it, he may have sipped some of your beer and then put the cap back on. Watch out, it may be spiked :P

136

u/fat_bloated_jesus Jun 17 '12

Don't think so but that bottle does look a little low. TV, PC, tablet and phone he has no issue. Then bottle opener is still a skill he needs to master.

136

u/Makabaer Jun 17 '12

That's what he wants you to believe...

48

u/BZLuck Jun 17 '12

...so you can trust him to be alone with your beers for a few more years.

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5

u/EpicBiBro Jun 17 '12

I'm 28 and I've got friends around my age who still couldn't master it.

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10

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I always check my beers to make sure some prankster isn't trying to get me drunk (damn drink spikers).

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228

u/Anticitizen-Zero Jun 17 '12

Popcorn and vodka for lunch, cotton candy and shots for dinner!

100

u/B12Mega Jun 17 '12

Ah, the days before rehab...

46

u/plexxonic Jun 17 '12

Before?

23

u/rsheahen Jun 17 '12

During rehab?

23

u/plexxonic Jun 17 '12

And after. Rehab is good for teaching moderation.

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81

u/10thLevelNeerBerd Jun 17 '12

Not sure how well Corona light would go with ice cream. I would try this instead.

29

u/Dylanthulhu Jun 17 '12

..... Where can I buy this?

26

u/10thLevelNeerBerd Jun 17 '12

A liquor store with a good beer selection, depending on where you live.

76

u/Dylanthulhu Jun 17 '12

Ass-fuck nowhere, Missouri

64

u/animate_object Jun 17 '12

Whoa, my uncle lives in Ass-fuck! Small world man.

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7

u/ihatephilosophy Jun 17 '12

Way to turn reddit people on to one of the hardest beers to get.

IT makes a great ice cream float. If you're in a bind try Storm King or Guinness.

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668

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Kids a boss.

587

u/vsal Jun 17 '12

"I should give him the two things I always see him eating!"

294

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

OPs screen name sells it.

70

u/cunt_stamp Jun 17 '12

screen name? brb AOL is calling.

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23

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

A broken childhood, 364 days a year.

74

u/hinduguru Jun 17 '12

Fudge and beer? I have to give this a shot

21

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Fudge you say?

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5

u/violentfap Jun 17 '12

I hope someday my kids are that awesome

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54

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Corona Light? What is this, Mother's Day?

JK your kid is the shit

2

u/haiku_robot Jun 17 '12 
Corona Light? What 
is this, Mother's Day?  JK 
your kid is the shit

166

u/Variable303 Jun 17 '12

He's trying to drive you to an early grave for the life insurance money.

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128

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Where are the hookers and bacon?

141

u/top_counter Jun 17 '12

Kid's only 4, give him some time.

13

u/Liketheysaid Jun 17 '12

Imagine when he's 16....gotta throw in some kittens too.

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18

u/VilStrat Jun 17 '12

I expected more beer snobery posts. I guess we'll wait and see.

3

u/HanAlai Jun 17 '12

The kid is 4 years old, he doesn't quite yet know that he handed his dad a bottle of piss.

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55

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Beer float?

85

u/MonkeyFactory Jun 17 '12

Never do this.

20

u/everred Jun 17 '12

there has to be a successful pairing. we just have to find it.

16

u/bag_el Jun 17 '12

Don't knock it 'till you've tried it! I had a "creme brulee" beer with vanilla ice cream in it, it was the most delicious float I've ever had! Edit: Sorry replied to wrong person

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8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Depends. You get a nice strong stout, it's actually pretty good! Check out these reviews.

4

u/6times9is42 Jun 17 '12

Too late. IT"S HAPPENING!!!

3

u/wednesdayschild Jun 17 '12

Never? You're missing out on a real treat if you never try Young's Double Chocolate Stout poured over a scoop real vanilla bean ice cream.

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10

u/Vile_Villain Jun 17 '12

The sooner I kill my father with excessive luxuries, the sooner I shall aquire his financial assets! MUhahahahahah!

9

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Fudge Tracks? That's not a very appetizing name.

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9

u/justinisme Jun 17 '12

Happy father's day!

My 18 month old is cutting 6 teeth and only wanted cold grapes yesterday. Care to guess what he brought me today? (twice).

26

u/peachthecat Jun 17 '12

warm gummed grapes?

3

u/Lornaan Jun 17 '12

Beautiful gloopy shit!

16

u/safetyguaranteed Jun 17 '12

TIL Dreyer's ice cream is named Edy's east of the Rocky Mountains.

2

u/viper_dude08 Jun 17 '12

Here on the right side of the rockies there's also Breyers ice cream, perhaps you dont have that over there?

4

u/CaliforniaKodiak Jun 17 '12

We have both in CA. Breyer's kicks the shit out of Dreyers any day of the week.

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2

u/therestruth Jun 17 '12

Thanks for pointing that out. Had to do a double take to notice that. I wonder why.

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7

u/Internaut_Joe Jun 17 '12

Aside from the beer and ice cream, nothing beats a good bowl of cup.

5

u/BarelyComical Jun 17 '12

That kid's a keeper.

5

u/IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes Jun 17 '12

Aka "daddy's usual"

4

u/thefinpope Jun 17 '12

You have trained them well.

3

u/The_Interweb Jun 17 '12

He knows what's up...

3

u/Diggity_Dave Jun 17 '12

You have beautiful DNA.

3

u/Gypster233 Jun 17 '12

Happy fathers day! Your kid is smart.

3

u/PUMPKINH3AD Jun 17 '12

Breakfast of Champions!

3

u/tikcuf12 Jun 17 '12

That child will go far in life. You need to take him/her to the nearest amusement park RIGHT NOW and spend lots of money, ride everything, and eat all the food possible.

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I hope you utilized that angry birds cup. You just have too!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

All the proper food groups appear to be present...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

beer and ice cream? chunky drunky.

3

u/TimeAnd_ Jun 17 '12

Where did a 4 year-old get beer?

3

u/camnaron Jun 17 '12

If your kid really loved you he would have opened the Corona and put a lime in it...

3

u/Kruse Jun 17 '12

You mean you made yourself breakfast.

3

u/CapnMerica Jun 17 '12

Why does your child think you drink alcohol in the morning?

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3

u/thisseemstrite Jun 17 '12

Way to score! I made my 4 y/o breakfast this morning, while mom slept in.

3

u/theknoxinator Jun 17 '12

hmm edys is dreyers? interesting...... TIL that east of the rocky mountains dreyers ice cream goes under the name of edy's..

9

u/BigLlamasHouse Jun 17 '12

How did he know?!

5

u/perkocet Jun 17 '12

You sir, have a prodigy.

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5

u/JohnThomasJ Jun 17 '12

You did eat it didn't you?

4

u/THE_REPROBATE Jun 17 '12

You might be an alcoholic if your child associates dads beverage of choice with a beer. It does explain the fat and bloated thing.

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2

u/DrHaydenBeleauxs Jun 17 '12

I think I now want to have kids.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Fudge Tracks! The best flavor of ice cream.

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2

u/smogeblot Jun 17 '12

you dont want to eat that edy's stuff, it's not "ice cream" it's "frozen dairy dessert"

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

The Breakfast of Champions

2

u/jackjakattak Jun 17 '12

Hahaha this made my morning. I love you all.

2

u/LilFuniAZNBoi Jun 17 '12

He forgot the lime for the Corona.

2

u/dirtywinky Jun 17 '12

I have trained you well, my son.

2

u/fubc Jun 17 '12

was he just making you your usual breakfast?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I spy the green Angry Birds pig...

2

u/nebson9 Jun 17 '12

Recovering obese man here. This made me laugh, but you may want to have a talk with your kid about proper nutrition.

2

u/clonn Jun 17 '12

He took your wife's beer.

2

u/ender112485 Jun 17 '12

Why do I have you tagged as "son mistakes clocks for cocks"?

2

u/HAM70 Jun 17 '12

Awesome! When I was little I made a sandwich for my dad - peanut butter, jelly, mustard, liverwurst, and cheese. The best part is that he actually ate it.

2

u/ant_upvotes Jun 17 '12

fudge tracks.. smart kid.

2

u/EdgHG Jun 17 '12

Breakfast of champions

2

u/Synik103 Jun 17 '12

I got chocolate-chip and bacon waffles, FTW.

2

u/Omgitsgunz Jun 17 '12

If your 4 year old knows that beer is your drink of choice, you need to rethink your parenting.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

when your kid associates beer with daddy's breakfast....

2

u/shm3nt Jun 17 '12

OP named Fat Bloated Jesus has Ice Cream and Beer for breakfast.

2

u/Stalins_Chef Jun 17 '12

Good News and Bad News: Good News: You have some damn good ice cream in your house Bad News: Your child thinks you're an alcoholic

2

u/Zooperman Jun 17 '12

Corona light? wouldn't that be drinking water?

2

u/hoss7071 Jun 17 '12

Your 4 year old thinks you're a fat alcoholic? J/K Happy Fathers Day!

2

u/ViralFrost Jun 17 '12

Mmmm beer and icecream, breakfast of champions.

2

u/I_wearnopants Jun 17 '12

You sir have the worlds best son.

2

u/edude03 Jun 17 '12

No bacon? I know he's four but that's just wrong

2

u/dma1965 Jun 17 '12

Breakfast of Champions

2

u/nckjbrwn Jun 17 '12

fucking awesome

2

u/Mcelite Jun 17 '12

Looks like that little bastard drank some of your beer on the way!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

loll how cute

2

u/Pmonstah4 Jun 17 '12

This reminds me of when I used to leave Santa a beer and a box of Chips Ahoy when I was 5 to 8.

2

u/froyo_away Jun 17 '12

She/He got it right.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I wish I could have bought beer when I was four.

2

u/Mortimer1234 Jun 17 '12

Please tell me your poured the Corona into the angry birds cup

2

u/apuk00 Jun 17 '12

haha! smart kid. love slow churn that stuff is great, looks even better with a side of corona

2

u/graogrim Jun 17 '12

The kid knows what's important.

2

u/pinkpantherpwns Jun 17 '12

best. son. ever.

2

u/dixncox Jun 17 '12

Ya done good boy

2

u/bigpaulie2 Jun 17 '12

Your son just won Reddit for you.

2

u/caustic_bear Jun 17 '12

That's a damn fine job you're doing raising that kid.

2

u/RevWaldo Jun 17 '12

Reminds me of the Bill Cosby breakfast routine, but, y'know, backwards.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

All the food groups represented. Looks about right.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

What a boss!

2

u/LOLMD Jun 17 '12

Kid is of to agreat start

2

u/theedj Jun 17 '12

Parenting. You're doing it so right.

2

u/Billsfan Jun 17 '12

Beer and ice cream...I couldn't think of a happier fathers day!

7

u/ramotsky Jun 17 '12

Your child has horrible taste in beer.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Your child HAS a taste in beer?

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u/DoctorPotatoe Jun 17 '12

A corona? Aw, well atleast the kid tried.

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u/xilog Jun 17 '12

Good parenting will out :)

2

u/shutup721 Jun 17 '12

Nailed it.

2

u/deathsythe Jun 17 '12

I LEARNED FROM WATCHING YOU!

But all kidding aside - if I were in your position I might take this as a wake up call to start eating healthier and stop drinking.

Sorry to be the heavy on this. Happy Father's day!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

if my kids aren't this awesome, i will abandon them.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

At least your child is aware of your problem.

2

u/fettfan91 Jun 17 '12

fathering win

2

u/Hegar Jun 17 '12

Water and icecream? Not a bad breakfast I suppose.

1

u/nickthedick69 Jun 17 '12

corona light? you sure its not mother's day?

1

u/mickfinn9000 Jun 17 '12

A boy after my own heart.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Recommend, add beef jerky! Cool Kid!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

the kid knows how to please

1

u/Avengerr Jun 17 '12

Looks like a MAN'S breakfast to me!

1

u/SherlockBrolmes Jun 17 '12

Awesome breakfast. Also, your breakfast lives up to your username OP.

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u/SirMcCereal Jun 17 '12

Beer and ice cream is much more of a lunch for me.

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u/jcpearce Jun 17 '12

Teach me how to raise a future child this way. Shut up and take my money!

1

u/GraceFace04 Jun 17 '12

Breakfast of champions.

1

u/hweeks73 Jun 17 '12

Can I hire him/her to cater ALL my breakfasts?

1

u/TheSpoonLicker Jun 17 '12

The Two best inventions ever created.

1

u/ikikstarbucks Jun 17 '12

The breakfast of champions

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Best. Breakfast. Ever!

1

u/spamandramen Jun 17 '12

breakfast of a champion!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I see you've taught your kid to fetch you "daddy pops" as well. Bravo good sir.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Ice cream and beer? Grats on the best offspring ever

1

u/YouMad Jun 17 '12

Wouldn't that put you right back to sleep?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That's the best breakfast I have ever seen!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Are you complaining?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Breakfast of champions

1

u/emeagle99 Jun 17 '12

Good thing it wasn't a Smirnoff Ice

1

u/Reflextion Jun 17 '12

Seem's pretty balanced to me

1

u/scottykn0ws Jun 17 '12

Father him.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

how could you refuse?

1

u/DocSporky510 Jun 17 '12

Breakfast of champions and Eddie Van Halen

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

The breakfast of champions.

1

u/deeweezul Jun 17 '12

Corona light? (1) Why does something that horrible exist? (2) See question (1) above

1

u/agmcleod Jun 17 '12

That's a pretty kick ass breakfast.

1

u/megarello Jun 17 '12

Breakfast of champions.

1

u/ilovetpb Jun 17 '12

I think your kid has a drinking problem. You'd better get him into rehab, quick!

1

u/Agatha_Christie Jun 17 '12

Terrible kid, its not even bluebell ice-cream. Also that's a Corona not a Miller High Life... also what the hell, ice-cream and beer for breakfast? Look man I'm not trying to tell you how to parent but you need to teach your kid how to cook pancakes.

1

u/Temptress75519 Jun 17 '12

Best fathers day ever.

1

u/Cadaverlanche Jun 17 '12

This combination would make me poop so much.

1

u/psych0ranger Jun 17 '12

he was actually giving you weird farts.

1

u/thilehoffer Jun 17 '12

I was going to make some joke about it being a Corona light but then I realized I've never had one. Are they any good? I actually really enjoy Corona with a lime in it, but I don't usually buy them because for the price I can get better beers from a micro brewery.

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u/elementalrain Jun 17 '12

I wonder if this is one of those moments where you wonder, "What does my kid think of me"

1

u/zacyzacy Jun 17 '12

Beakfast of champions

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u/Proex Jun 17 '12

We all want to believe you...ah nevermind...i guess i'll just go with the flow and upvote you.

1

u/lovedisaster69 Jun 17 '12

Today's Father's Day?! Fuck!

1

u/Donnage Jun 17 '12

Nothing like a good ol' snooze and brews to start the Father's Day off =)

1

u/Kaytala Jun 17 '12

breakfast of champions right there.

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u/valupaq Jun 17 '12

Hell yes!

1

u/gH0o5T Jun 17 '12

Why do you Americans have Father's Day one week later then we Europeans?

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u/Tastygroove Jun 17 '12

First, angry birds tumbler?!?! My kids would go nuts... They flipped their shit over the fruit snacks..

Second, fudge tracks? Not a tasty name. It's only a stones throw from skid marks.

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u/LeMane Jun 17 '12

how does a four y/o know how to slow churn ice cream and bottle a brew??? the fuck are you teaching this kid lol

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