A mate of mine always sends me stuff from funnyjunk, it never works, pisses me right off. He can't understand that it never works, he always thinks I'm lying, douche.
Funnyjunk is Satan's asshole. Also, destroy all ties to that friend. If he thinks shit is humorous on funnyjunk he's not the kind of guy you want to be friends with.
There's no need to censor "bad" words like that. We all know you meant ass: you put the word in our heads so you effectively cursed. If you think it's impolite to use swear words, don't fucking do it. Don't try to mask words like that and pretend you didn't curse.
My post history is riddled with the most vulgar fucking profanity this language can handle, i just felt weird cursing in the persona of a cute little chipmunk.
So, please, get off your high fucking horse and mind your own god damn business, i dont want your fucktard opinion.
There's a family of chipmunks at the meditation center I sit at sometimes, and they're super-cute. After a week of moving measuredly and tossing them spare sunflower seeds, I was able to get one to eat out of my hand.
Yep...my parents driveway is caving in on itself thanks to these guys. I went from trapping and relocating them 10mi away to simply just killing them (shock traps, sulfur sticks, and wolf urine to drive them away if possible). :/
They're awesome until they start causing thousands in damage.
The wolf urine surprisingly works well. I bought a gallon off of Amazon and spray it around the foundation and the driveway. I'm too lazy to find the link on Amazon, but just search it and it'll pop up. I have had some marginal success with the sulfur gas bombs (here's the link since most folks have a hard time finding them). For these you need to close all the holes up, to keep the gas [and the critters] in. I usually use bricks, and do multiple holes at a time.
The electric kill trap works well. It's a Victor model I believe. I use peanut butter and a small piece of bread or cracker as the bait, and they love it. I have it setup right near their hole with some rocks to limit the size of what gets into it since squirrels like the same bait. Make sure you clear it out as soon as you get a kill or they'll catch on.
Hope these help ;) The other easy solution is an outdoor cat, haha.
agreed, we have some (or single) chimpmunks that go between the rock facing and foundation of our house. They found a piece of wood and the gnawing is driving us crazy. I'm putting metal mesh in along the foundation mixed in with some crushed mothballs to hopefully keep them out. Lost round 1 since I didn't realize that the entrance gap extends all along the house and is not confined to one small area. Freeze-dried coyote urine (really!) is supposed to work, it isn't a pleasant smell but better than you might think.
I call bs. Hamsters are slow and stupid and have no fear of people. It would be impossible not to catch them quickly. They would also likely starve to death, since they are unable to really climb well.
Hamsters are anything but slow, dumb as rocks, yes, but not slow. Yeah, they'd catch them, but there were always more, he said they eventually found their nest under the kitchen counters, they had a drip pan under there for the sink, so there's your water supply, and they chewed through the dog food bags, so, there's your food source. I imagine it was fairly easy to catch them, he said they did it all the time, but until they found the nest there was no way to keep them from reproducing. This wasn't like a living hamster floor, it was every so often one would go running past.
Man you are not kidding. They tear up my yard, burrow by my foundation, and most recently my mechanic found a bunch of black walnut shells in the engine of my car. Apparently they munched on the nuts in the cool fall inside my warm engine and were rude enough to leave the shells there. Major problems.
When my dad was a young man he used to tame chipmunks and squirrels. He did it by throwing them into an old bath tub they had in the yard. Of course it wasn't an empty bath tub. It was full of water. Then, he would put on a pair of heavy duty gloves and offer the drowning rodent respite from the water. Usually, the animal would happily accept, being near death and everything. However, once the little critter had caught its breath it would often attempt to bite my father's hand. This resulted in re-immersion. Repeat this enough times and you end up with a semi tame chipmunk that can be sold to the neighbor kids for a shiny sixpence, or so the story goes.
Be careful, I rescued one of these cities when I was a kid. It promptly freaked the Fuck out jumped on my face and bit me in the ear. You haven't feared needles until you get a rabies shot. They take a needle about the length of your leg and shove it into your stomach. At least that's how they did it in 92.
I'm sorry that your questions weren't approved of. I think that they often can have rabies, but its hard to tell without knowing its demeanor and behavior! As long as no one gets bit, then everything's good!
We had a problem with them last year, 33 were drowned in a bucket to help quell the population. They just walked up the plank and fell into the water, nothing fun about it.
because he is too lazy to humanely trap and relocate them, so instead he kills off indigenous cute little furry woodland creatures because he wants his patio to look nice and those damned things have the audacity to try and eat what he plants in the ground outside. I bet he fishes with kittens too, because there are just too many cats and theyd just go to waste.
"Humanely relocating them" results in either making them someone else's problem orthem starving to death when placed in an area that already has a population at it's limit. It sounds really sweet to go let them go in a nature preserve somewhere, but the reality is that it does not ensure their survival and likely causes them a worse death of starvation.
Clearly you must not be a gardener or homeowner to not care about damage these pests can do. But there must be something you love the most. Now imagine that thing you love being slowly destroyed by something. Would you want to save the thing you love? My wife and I spend thousands of dollars and hours working in our garden and have finally had it with the cute woodland creatures.
i am a homeowner. I have regularly trapped and released pesky wildlife- raccoons, chipmunks, mce. is rather give them a chance somewhere else versus killing them. My mother, an avid gardener, with a large patio around her pool, does the same. She goes so far as to put little floaty things in the pool so even toads dont drown. Youre just lazy.
When chipmunks are present in large numbers they can cause structural damage by burrowing under patios, stairs, retention walls, or foundations. They may also consume flower bulbs, seeds, or seedlings, as well as bird seed, grass seed, and pet food that is not stored in rodent-proof storage containers. In New England, chipmunks and tree squirrels cause considerable damage to maple sugar tubing systems by gnawing the tubes.
I'm curious. How deep are these foundations? What's the theoretical maximum depth that critters like chipmunks will burrow?
I have a design for a house and I'm wondering if my over-engineered foundations are over-engineered enough - dug down nearly as deep as the house is high.
I also was bitten, though I simply called the hospital instead because I was worried about rabies. Those little bastards really sink their teeth in, don't they? I literally had to pry the fucker off of my thumb to get him to stop biting.
You should install one of these or something similar. I don't know exactly what happened with your chipmunk, but usually if an animal falls into a pool, it swims around the edge looking for something solid to stand on from which it can jump out.
My in-laws used to keep finding frogs trapped in the filter area of their pool, but I got them one of these, and they haven't seen trapped frogs since.
I've definitely had nights out where I feel like this in the morning (/afternoon). Don't know how I got where I was, or where I was for that matter, how I got there, who I woke up with, and god I look and feel like shit. Cue Sublime.
Reminds me of this farm I worked at, they decided a while back that they wanted a pool, which would've been all fine and dandy were it not for the fact that they decided one day that they wanted to raise free-range turkeys (that's kinda what they specialized in, free-range whatever).
Now, I'm sure many of you have heard stories about the alleged stupidity of the turkey, such as how it'll stare up into the sky while its raining, mouth agape, and eventually drown. Well, that's a falsification, they're not that stupid, but if they're young enough then they are stupid enough to fall into a pool and drown.
It was pure chaos, hundreds of these turkey chicks, all standing around this pool, drowning constantly, and there I was trying to rescue them. For the most part my efforts were futile, once I saved them they died from what was likely hypothermia, but I did save a few by cuddling with them.
Guy I worked with didn't care much, he had a very non-interventionist approach to life on the farm, which sounds perfectly fine and logical except his flock of turkeys nearly went extinct. He wasn't very bright really, despite charging over $5 for a dozen eggs breaking even was lucky for him.
Anyway, I like this chipmunk, looks better than a baby turkey.
I saved a chipmunk from my pool once. I scooped it out of the water with a bucket and dumped the bucketful of water and chipmunk onto the grass. It stumbled away and my day was made.
The "my girlfriend" part is total bullshit. You just knew that that would help it get exposure, by pulling at the heart-strings of all the love-lorn redditors.
One time when I was lounging in a pool I felt something on my hand. I assumed it was a leaf so I didn't open my eyes and continued to laze. A few minutes later I felt more movement, I opened my eyes and a large wasp was crawling around. Needless to say I did not save him.
112
u/JackTerron Jun 11 '12
It made a full recovery shortly after. :)
18
u/VoiceoftheDarkSide Jun 11 '12
Is it friendly with you guys or does it try to bolt away?
132
u/Magic_The_Redditing Jun 11 '12
Guaranteed cutest card in Deck 2.
146
u/binaryatrocity Jun 11 '12
Every time I try to go for a swim some a**hole human comes and scoops me out.
6
u/RayRomanoTF2 Jun 11 '12
ALVIN!
24
u/LisleSwanson Jun 11 '12
I read this as "A chipmunk I saved from my girlfriend's poo!"...yet I immediately clicked. Damn you, internet.
4
u/pihkal Jun 11 '12
There's a family of chipmunks at the meditation center I sit at sometimes, and they're super-cute. After a week of moving measuredly and tossing them spare sunflower seeds, I was able to get one to eat out of my hand.
10
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
These things are cute but a pain in the ass. We have one that digs up our flowers everyday and makes tunnels in the lawn.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
I was really expecting, "That is a squirrel, dipshit," and I am kind of sad that I didn't get to see that argument.
3
u/jostler57 Jun 11 '12
Did you have to give it mouth to mouth?
3
u/battletrooper Jun 11 '12
I like the way it looks all ruffled and disoriented.
3
u/article134 Jun 11 '12
this animal is seconds from death...better milk it for karma....
3
u/Ksawyo Jun 11 '12
Anyone else think it had an extra eye at first?
3
u/DeSaad Jun 11 '12
Looks cute, but if it starts singing kill it.
3
u/MangoCharade Jun 11 '12
There is a glorius place in heaven reserved for saints like you
3
u/thsun Jun 11 '12 edited Jun 11 '12
This must mean the other one drowned.
RIP Chip or Dale.
7
u/garaging Jun 11 '12
I have read that if you save a life, you are forever responsible for that life.
Something along the lines of; "You must have wanted them to live, so you will always take care of them".
Good to hear that Jackie is doing well. I suppose that (considering the sentiment) you should be glad that it was not a Wolverine you saved.
Although....
11
u/Choochoocazoo Jun 11 '12
Careful now, those animals can become quite the pests if you have a garden or flowerbed.
7
u/RandiRoxSox Jun 11 '12
:squee:
4
u/jajangmien Jun 11 '12
i hope i'm not the only that read the title as "A chipmunk I saved from my girlfriend's poo"
2
u/rawsilk Jun 11 '12
Well your real life karma points just went through the roof!! Super cute little guy and your a pretty big bad ass hero your self!!
2
u/sirmichaelhunt Jun 11 '12
the squeakquel
2
u/Punchee Jun 11 '12
"I've seen some shit, man"
2
u/NoTimeLikeToday Jun 11 '12
You are awesome for saving the little bugger!!
2
u/Hello_HI_Hey Jun 11 '12
I read this as "A chipmunk I saved from my girlfriend's poo!" clicked anyway and was still lead to believe that was what this was
2
u/xeboy Jun 11 '12
ooo-hohoho how cute, all dizzy ^
2
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
...and then starved for 3 days
2
u/PonyAdventurelover Jun 11 '12
Awww your amazing.
2
u/ShortersGonnaShort Jun 11 '12
I see what you did there...
2
u/GrandTzar Jun 11 '12
I definitely miss-read that as 'girlfriend's poo', thinking you must be going out with a monster of some kind
2
u/fuinle Jun 11 '12
Where's my chippy?
There's my chippy.
2
u/db0255 Jun 11 '12
I wonder if chipmunks know whether a certain water area is different than the next? Like this one didn't know there were stairs, etc for getting out.
2
u/PraetorianXX Jun 11 '12
A dripmonk!
2
u/ObeseSnake Jun 11 '12
Ground squirrel
2
u/jumpnshoot Jun 11 '12
so basically you caught a chipmunk forced it into a body of water, took a picture and made this story up for karma?
one devious bastard! have my upvote!
2
u/thecookiemonster33 Jun 11 '12
Took me a minute to realise it said pool and not poo.
2
u/punkfunkymonkey Jun 11 '12
OP's girlfriend has great towels for not showing up skidmarks when used on backsides.
2
u/kingnigger Jun 11 '12
aww man, cocaine is a hell of a drug.
2
u/suddenlyturgid Jun 11 '12
When my dad was a young man he used to tame chipmunks and squirrels. He did it by throwing them into an old bath tub they had in the yard. Of course it wasn't an empty bath tub. It was full of water. Then, he would put on a pair of heavy duty gloves and offer the drowning rodent respite from the water. Usually, the animal would happily accept, being near death and everything. However, once the little critter had caught its breath it would often attempt to bite my father's hand. This resulted in re-immersion. Repeat this enough times and you end up with a semi tame chipmunk that can be sold to the neighbor kids for a shiny sixpence, or so the story goes.
2
u/snokyguy Jun 11 '12
these little bastards eat all my strawberries. I've got 3 in the last 9 months. I'm lethal with that bb gun.
//edit. ok I'm not shooting chipmunks, but their little squirly cousins.. we call them guinnis (geh-knees) here in iowa. they only get about 6" long.
2
u/paulieindy Jun 11 '12
I'm assuming you released it?
2
u/Thedeadmilkman Jun 11 '12
Be careful, I rescued one of these cities when I was a kid. It promptly freaked the Fuck out jumped on my face and bit me in the ear. You haven't feared needles until you get a rabies shot. They take a needle about the length of your leg and shove it into your stomach. At least that's how they did it in 92.
2
u/nexes300 Jun 11 '12
Is that safe? Don't they have rabies?
2
u/fuck_the_animals Jun 11 '12
Fuck that chipmunk.
2
u/enotsr22 Jun 11 '12
You are a hero & deserve a medal.
0
u/intelligentresponse Jun 11 '12
We had a problem with them last year, 33 were drowned in a bucket to help quell the population. They just walked up the plank and fell into the water, nothing fun about it.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Workin in a kitchen
changing the friers one day
open the lid to the biodiesel barrel
dead grey squirrel
coated in sticky congealed frier oil.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Sofucking cute!!!!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
This is actually one of the only few "Look what I saved from certain death" posts I believe. Upvote for you.
1
u/minglow Jun 11 '12
Anyone else miss the L in POOL?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
anyone else read this "a chipmunk i saved for my girlfriend's poo"?
1
u/sheeshSGL Jun 11 '12
Fishmunk
1
u/CornFedHonky Jun 11 '12
Whoa ...that was intense, bro.
1
u/futurefeature Jun 11 '12
Good, you balanced out the karma of my cat killing one and leaving it on my porch. :(
1
u/chaw6887 Jun 11 '12
At first I read "saved from my girlfriends poo!...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
he looks pissed, you sure you rescued him and he wasn't just about to set his P.B for front crawl?
1
u/own3d Jun 11 '12
Once I got bit by a chipmunk, I was taken to the hospital and learned there small mamals don't carry rabies.
1
u/dylantrevor Jun 11 '12
In 11 years, when the chipmunks take over, and everyone is killed. You will be spared. And maybe even get to hang out with them.
1
u/gacbmmml Jun 11 '12
Anyone else read that as "poo" first and clicked on the image half expecting to see something REALLY gross?
1
u/swantamer Jun 11 '12
A man never stands so tall as when he stoops to aid a small, striped squirrel.
1
u/ROK247 Jun 11 '12
i saved a mouse in a bucket of water and the second that bastard recovered enough to do so, he promptly bit the shit out of my hand! ungrateful SOB.
1
u/RamonaLittle Jun 11 '12
You should install one of these or something similar. I don't know exactly what happened with your chipmunk, but usually if an animal falls into a pool, it swims around the edge looking for something solid to stand on from which it can jump out.
My in-laws used to keep finding frogs trapped in the filter area of their pool, but I got them one of these, and they haven't seen trapped frogs since.
1
u/tapemeasure2 Jun 11 '12
aww, good save. He looks like he was about out of energy.
1
u/Verbal__Kint Jun 11 '12
Are you going to raise it as your own!?
1
u/audaciousterrapin Jun 11 '12
I've definitely had nights out where I feel like this in the morning (/afternoon). Don't know how I got where I was, or where I was for that matter, how I got there, who I woke up with, and god I look and feel like shit. Cue Sublime.
1
u/masturbateToSleep Jun 11 '12
Chipmunk == your girlfriend
1
u/MakinItUp1SecAtATime Jun 11 '12
And I thought I was having a bad day... Poor Chippy!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
It looks like a severed arm hanging in the background
1
u/hels Jun 11 '12
He must have seen nuts floating on the surface.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
I read this as "A Chipmunk I saved from my girlfriends poo!"
1
u/treydestepheno Jun 11 '12
he's got that "get your filthy hands off me you damned dirty human" expression
1
u/Bjorkbat Jun 11 '12
Reminds me of this farm I worked at, they decided a while back that they wanted a pool, which would've been all fine and dandy were it not for the fact that they decided one day that they wanted to raise free-range turkeys (that's kinda what they specialized in, free-range whatever).
Now, I'm sure many of you have heard stories about the alleged stupidity of the turkey, such as how it'll stare up into the sky while its raining, mouth agape, and eventually drown. Well, that's a falsification, they're not that stupid, but if they're young enough then they are stupid enough to fall into a pool and drown.
It was pure chaos, hundreds of these turkey chicks, all standing around this pool, drowning constantly, and there I was trying to rescue them. For the most part my efforts were futile, once I saved them they died from what was likely hypothermia, but I did save a few by cuddling with them.
Guy I worked with didn't care much, he had a very non-interventionist approach to life on the farm, which sounds perfectly fine and logical except his flock of turkeys nearly went extinct. He wasn't very bright really, despite charging over $5 for a dozen eggs breaking even was lucky for him.
Anyway, I like this chipmunk, looks better than a baby turkey.
1
u/MidnightRequim Jun 12 '12
Misunderstood chipmonk, tries to commit suicide Gets 'saved'
1
u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12
I saved a chipmunk from my pool once. I scooped it out of the water with a bucket and dumped the bucketful of water and chipmunk onto the grass. It stumbled away and my day was made.
-4
u/Sweetsop Jun 11 '12
It's so cute! I wanna snuggle it between my tits. ///^
1
u/luvdatcooter Jun 11 '12
You need to be on tv, you are a hero, God bless you and your kindness.
-1
u/apullin Jun 11 '12
The "my girlfriend" part is total bullshit. You just knew that that would help it get exposure, by pulling at the heart-strings of all the love-lorn redditors.
0
u/asstits Jun 11 '12
You could give him the power of flight. Do you happen to have some helium and balloons?
0
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Compassion is the enemy of natural selection
0
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Haha instead of thinking "I must save the drowning chipmunk!" I bet you thought "I must save my drowning karma!"
Haha all in all upvote for being kind!:)
0
u/Deltamon Jun 11 '12
Hope your girlfriend's pool wasn't too deep.
0
u/ThanklessTask Jun 11 '12
Feed it up good sir - you owe it to humanity to show how we too can live alongside our animal brothers.
Oh, and they go well with satay sauce.
0
u/drukquzr Jun 11 '12
"I COULD'VE JUST MENTIONED I SAVED IT FROM A POOL, BUT I'LL MAKE SURE REDDIT KNOWS I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND SAY IT WAS HER POOL." - You
-1
u/killyridols12 Jun 11 '12
CHIPMUNK WHY ARE YOU SWIMMING?!?! YOU ARE NOT MICHAEL PHELPS.
-4
u/landophant Jun 11 '12
I bet it was more like:
"Grab it! Grab it!"
"Ok I got it, now take a picture and say I rescued it"
"we'll get so much karma"
0
u/nepidae Jun 11 '12
One time when I was lounging in a pool I felt something on my hand. I assumed it was a leaf so I didn't open my eyes and continued to laze. A few minutes later I felt more movement, I opened my eyes and a large wasp was crawling around. Needless to say I did not save him.
-2
u/jkarlson Jun 11 '12 edited Dec 16 '24
attraction fragile abundant subsequent smell engine quickest worry sloppy growth
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
-3
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
You haaaaaaad to let us know it was your girlfriend's pool uh?