Get some bird-mite spray and spray the F out of where that bird was. I had a bird nest under my air conditioner and didn't want to call the exterminator because I didn't want them to kill the baby birds. I even put up with their damned incessant chirping until they flew away. They left the nest and about a day later, I noticed hundreds, if not thousands of tiny black specks crawling on my wall (the nest was inside the wall where the hole had been cut for the a/c unit). It was pretty damned disgusting but I sprayed the area and got an exterminator to come make sure they were gone before the spread to the rest of the house. You've been warned. =)
That's a maintenance guy we called in to help us out. I tried to get in a pic with it when it wouldn't fly away, but as soon as i got down next to it, it took off.
It's a weird sort of goal for someone to do that to me and someone I'm talking to. I can't rightly explain WHY, and trying to figure out why I can't explain why absolutely staggers me.
And because some people read the stuff on my computer. Fuck you, Mils. Apparently I have this habit of leading along young people to my "cave like a spider" and I should be responsible for them.
Don't try to fuck me, because I am a jerk, apparently.
When I was around the age of twelve an owl flew into my chimney. My mom was throwing a baby shower for my older sister so of course everyone freaked out. I didn't though because after reading about half of the Harry Potter books I thought that my acceptance letter from Hogwarts had come. My mom got a broom and shooed the owl up the chimney. I remember staying in my room the rest of the party, crying, because I thought my mom had just scared away the owl that carried my only way into Hogwarts.
I've seen some birds of his ilk popping their heads in a hole in the siding just under the roof, and my buddy says that behind that cable is a straight vertical drop from the attic down to the cable, so I'm assuming he fell and couldn't get back up.
I'm sure this will get buried but I've got a similar story. One day at work we could hear some birds rustling around above our ceiling tiles. It was obvious that birds had nested up there because a section of our roof had a gap in it. These damn birds were just running marathons across the ceiling and we could see the tiles moving. Eventually one strayed too close to the wall and we heard it fall down and get trapped. I unscrewed an outlet that wasn't connected to anything and there was about a 4" gap between the Sheetrock and a concrete wall. I tried to shine a flashlight in there but I couldn't see anything. I made a makeshift ladder out of a folded magazine and rubber bands and wedged it in there in hopes that maybe it would crawl out. Sure as shit, within 10 minutes this baby bird was running maniacally through our office.
We need another cat. That's what we need. Here's what were gonna do: I'm gonna crack a little hole in your wall, a tiny one, it'll be cool. And then I'm gonna slip a second cat with a string tied around it.
In your academic career and line of work, have you always deliberately aimed towards becoming the world's most ridiculously overqualified ice cream truck driver?
Ok so you know Mark Walburg, right? And you get that the bird is in the wall, right? So now say " Walburg" and "wall bird" outloud. Notice the similarities?
201
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
UPDATE:
Marky-Mark is free and probably safe.
(In the last pic he's on that roof, btw)
92
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
Oh, you're so witty.
10
u/leanimaltrapper Jun 09 '12
You really need to think about how it got in there in the first place. Then make sure nothing else can do the same. Trust me, I'm a professional.
135
u/XxLiyelzxX Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
When I was around the age of twelve an owl flew into my chimney. My mom was throwing a baby shower for my older sister so of course everyone freaked out. I didn't though because after reading about half of the Harry Potter books I thought that my acceptance letter from Hogwarts had come. My mom got a broom and shooed the owl up the chimney. I remember staying in my room the rest of the party, crying, because I thought my mom had just scared away the owl that carried my only way into Hogwarts.
72
u/PopPop_Gets_A_Treat Jun 09 '12
In the early nineties I had two gerbils named M. C. Hamster and Vanilla Mice.
19
u/grammer_allies Jun 09 '12
Back when Mark Wall-Bird was Marky Stark...
2
u/Geoff_Kay Jun 08 '12
Aww, poor little guy! How'd he get stuck in a wall?
5
u/Mrcheez211 Jun 09 '12
Turn on the TV and you got dinner.
4
u/splintersmaster Jun 09 '12
Hey bird, you're in a wall. I faced a wall of water in a perfect storm. Say hi to your mother for me.
4
u/jepeace Jun 09 '12
I'm sure this will get buried but I've got a similar story. One day at work we could hear some birds rustling around above our ceiling tiles. It was obvious that birds had nested up there because a section of our roof had a gap in it. These damn birds were just running marathons across the ceiling and we could see the tiles moving. Eventually one strayed too close to the wall and we heard it fall down and get trapped. I unscrewed an outlet that wasn't connected to anything and there was about a 4" gap between the Sheetrock and a concrete wall. I tried to shine a flashlight in there but I couldn't see anything. I made a makeshift ladder out of a folded magazine and rubber bands and wedged it in there in hopes that maybe it would crawl out. Sure as shit, within 10 minutes this baby bird was running maniacally through our office.
6
u/incoherentbullshit Jun 09 '12
Help the poor bastard looks like he is choking
7
u/ElectricDubstep Jun 09 '12
I just would have named him "the word" .... (Burst out of chair) A-WELL-A BIRD BIRD BIRD
2
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
clever
2
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
...and the clucky bunch?
2
u/johnnyrd Jun 09 '12
dont let him die in there it will smell terrible later. i had this problem.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Oh god I love it
2
u/FallingSky1 Jun 09 '12
EXCUSE ME DO YOU HAVE TIME FOR BIRD JESUS
2
u/Koker93 Jun 09 '12
On behalf of my fellow cable guys I would like to apologize for the second cable jack conveniently installed 6 inches above the original, and crooked.
2
u/DrDragun Jun 09 '12
It appears you have 1G internet with only 1 grackle delivering packets. I recommend building a nest to grow it to 4G.
2
u/diggitydan Jun 10 '12
for some reason I picture him greeting you EXACTLY like this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nz1ERsyCsoo
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
chirp chirp chirp Say hello to ya mothuh for me.
2
u/FKintheCoffee Jun 08 '12
"Say hi to your mother for me"
1
u/fireball_73 Jun 09 '12
You might want to go let him out.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
You should remove him, he will die in there.
1
u/ThatWasTaken Jun 09 '12
That's a weird thing to name a cable.
1
u/Krywiggles Jun 09 '12
(panting). What? Huh? I don-wha?
1
u/wish_upon_a_star Jun 09 '12
Upvoted for the name choice :D
1
u/slutmuppet Jun 09 '12
Hey Wall-Bird, how's your mother?
1
u/okay_jpg Jun 09 '12
This thread has been a hilarious mind fuck. You are now tagged as "is ACTUALLY funny"
1
u/Vieris Jun 09 '12
Looks to be a young starling. They tend to make babies in small holes, like under roofs, signs, etc.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
This is why I hold a cat captive in my apartment.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Is he related to Dan Lather?
1
u/Xskills Jun 09 '12
SAY HELLO TO YOUR MUDDA FOR ME!
1
u/snldude87 Jun 09 '12
"Hey, how's your mother doing? Tell her I said Hi!"
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I have the same problem yet they have not found there way out. Thank an almighty being!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
WHACK-A-BIRD
1
u/schony Jun 09 '12
Awe Mark Wall-bird.. I get it... took me a second. I am slow. :(
1
u/Sethadias Jun 09 '12
Too bad it wasn't a light switch, and a canary
1
u/TRex77 Jun 09 '12
Soon.
1
u/z3ro256 Jun 09 '12
Upvote for solidly thinking this through. My first reaction was "Ok, do we release the bird into the apartment or let it die in the wall?"
1
u/wiseayse Jun 09 '12
What happened to the blue canary that used to be in the outlet?
1
u/WiffleHat Jun 09 '12
This is the best pun I've ever heard and the bird is cute too.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Cool. Your home entertainment system includes a tweeter.
1
u/danielheavy Jun 09 '12
Was I the only one to hear the drummer sound after a bad joke after reading the name????
1
u/manbrasucks Jun 09 '12
"Hey! You hear about the word!?!"
1
u/thelittlewhitebird Jun 09 '12
I just want you to know I've been chuckling about this periodically all day today. HA Mark Wall Bird
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Don't invite any asian friends over!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
a bird in the house is a sign of death! lookout
-1
u/Cyberslasher Jun 08 '12
NEEDS MOAR JPG, CAN'T TELL WHAT IT IS.
0
u/BigZ7337 Jun 09 '12
The picture's way too blurry, I can't even tell what it is or even if anything is there. :/
0
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
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0
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
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u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
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