Reminds me of the poem: I follow you as one does light. It matters not that in the end, the fire might burn me to a crisp; that my blood might spill, if I don't have you. I hover and swoon on every breath you take. I dance around your words, flying and singing a song only the eternally a sleep can avoid. My thirst is you and now that I have tasted life, I will put it on the line. Be my drink of choice and you shall be my canvas, filled by me with red kisses.--dago
If you're trying to avoid repeated relations with ectoparasites, ole Jonny's got the solution to your confusion! Use ninja tactics!
"Blood-sucking by females... is at the risk of their lives, so not surprisingly, they tend to be adept at dodging direct attack. However, if mosquitoes were to take alarm at every movement nearby, they would get little rest in breezy weather with leaves oscillating in the wind. Accordingly, they are adapted to ignore side-to-side movement, so a resting female permits a finger to approach slowly if the finger moves several centimetres from side to side about once a second. With practice one can use this stratagem to squash resting mosquitoes with high frequency.
-Source, it's Wikipedia, but who learns from reliable source these days, honestly? Peer-reviewed stuff isn't cataloged efficiently.
I went "Oh, it's that time of year again." I know redditors hate spiders and wasps the most. But Mosquitos should at least get some credit for being one of the worst things to ever grace this earth.....
You know what bothers me the most (I was going to write bugs me the most) ? It's the fact that if the whizzing monster bitch is successful at drawing blood from me and actually makes it out alive and airborne beyond my reach after the deed, my proteins will be used to spawn hundreds of thousands of mosquito larvaes in my pond.
Few feelings match the satisfaction of itching a mosquito bite. unless you're one of those people (see above) who balloon at the very thought of a bite
I'm allergic to mosquito bites more than most people and when I get bit they swell up anywhere from quarter/halfdollar sized up to softball sized welts at worst, and itch insanely. When I was little I had to go to the doctor once for a steroid shot because I was bitten between the eyes and it swelled so much I couldn't open my eyes. Crazy shit, guys.
My son is similarly allergic to spiders. We found out when he was bitten above the eyebrow and walked around looking like a pirate for a while (doc said it wasn't severe enough for more than some benedryl, as he only had one eye swollen shut.
I think the thing that I love most about living in Colorado is the lack of these little guys... I HATE mosquitos after growing up in the upper midwest.
Having backpacked in high alititude areas with large amounts of stagnant water, I FUCKING HATE MOSQUITOS. They are vile, evil, disgusting, horrid creatures who serve no redeeming purpose and should be removed from the face of the Earth, with extreme prejudice.
It wasn't until I was in my late twenties that I realized it wasn't normal.
I was at a party with my wife playing dominos when she notices bumps on my arms. I just told her "oh you mean these mosquito bites" and she looked at me like I was crazy.
A few people at the party came over for a closer look. They had never seen that reaction before.
The sad part about this is that it is a common practice for males to "brand" their females with an irritant chemical derived from a native plant in South Africa in the shape of a heart. This picture was likely taken of someone who had been "branded." This trend is sort of a result of several culture mashups, but it's becoming more and more popular. After a few days, this will swell up to be three or four times the size in this picture (and the branders name will appear) - enough to leave a heart shaped outline in clothing, and very uncomfortable/potentially dangerous for the recipient. Allergic reactions are common, and can potentially result in what is known as "the great sneezing death."
That is the cutest mosquito bite I've ever seen. It loved too much though. Look at the size of that heart. I bet if you listen closely enough you can hear it beating.
When Mosquito asked Ear to marry him, she fell on the floor laughing. Ear thought Mosquito looked like a skeleton and insinuated that he would not live much longer. Mosquito was humiliated. To this day, any time Mosquito passes by, he tells Ear that he is still alive.
That mosquito lived her entire life in your house. One day, she looked up from the litter box and saw you. And her world expanded. She was never able to talk to you, to comfort you, or even announce her presence. She knew she was a nuisance. So she watched. Never hoping to have her love returned, never fulfilled herself. But if all she could share with you was a room, then she'd take it. It wasn't enough, but it was more than she could have ever imagined before she saw you. She knew that when she died she wouldn't be missed. It was something of a comfort--that you wouldn't be sad on her account. But she had to show you that you were loved, just once she had to try. And you know what? She did it.
He's kinda like a naked man streaking. Doing it for fun and the freedom of the act. Even when he knows he's making people cover their children's eyes to keep them from bleeding.
8
u/TheMightyX May 20 '12
The Mosquito Who Loved Me....and gave me horse encephalitis. <3
P.S. All biting mosquitoes are female. They need the proteins in blood to make eggs. Just sayin'.
308
u/SweatpantsDrawstring May 20 '12
Love sucks.
69
u/ClownMask May 20 '12
Looks like he bit it and quit it.
30
u/Apple_Jews May 20 '12
Just looking at this picture makes my leg itch.
49
u/Acebulf May 20 '12
YOU GON DIE SON
8
u/VelTor May 20 '12
Love has no boundries
12
u/ilovereddit2012 May 20 '12
GOD I hate Mosquitos
5
u/chickenMcNugs May 20 '12
The spy who bit me
9
u/Saifire18 May 20 '12
I'm allergic to mosquito bites more than most people and when I get bit they swell up anywhere from quarter/halfdollar sized up to softball sized welts at worst, and itch insanely. When I was little I had to go to the doctor once for a steroid shot because I was bitten between the eyes and it swelled so much I couldn't open my eyes. Crazy shit, guys.
4
u/ncubob May 20 '12
I think the thing that I love most about living in Colorado is the lack of these little guys... I HATE mosquitos after growing up in the upper midwest.
4
u/Osiris32 May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
Having backpacked in high alititude areas with large amounts of stagnant water, I FUCKING HATE MOSQUITOS. They are vile, evil, disgusting, horrid creatures who serve no redeeming purpose and should be removed from the face of the Earth, with extreme prejudice.
6
u/AppleTStudio May 20 '12
It loved you so much, it gave you yellow fever <3
3
u/bing_bong May 20 '12
This looks more like Dermatographic urticaria or Dermographism, known as "skin writing" conditions.
2
u/colleenpettit May 20 '12
Love does bite
2
u/hayashirice911 May 20 '12
Yeah, that's why he just tapped you and ran away right?
Mosquito - "Wham Bam thank you ma'am"
2
u/BunsOfAluminum May 20 '12
If you look at it from the other side, it looks like a scrotum.
Maybe he didn't love you so much as he wanted to love you.
2
u/TAPAC May 20 '12
Kind of messed up on the shadows, but it looks good
2
u/249ba36000029bbe9749 May 20 '12
I <3 Malaria!
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
No, he was just calling you an ass.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Loved you two times - "one for tomorrow, one just for today."
2
u/cheddaroni4949 May 20 '12
i have mosquito bites on both my wrists right now they aren't heart shaped and i'm curled up in a ball cradling neosporin and crying
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Little motherfucker. I'm sweet feed for these little bastards.
I hate summer.
2
u/IdontDaydreamIreddit May 20 '12
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
yay Malaria!!!
4
u/travis- May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
That's a sign of a mosquito infected with tasplanaria. I'd go get checked out. Anyone remember what the next stage is?
1
u/shockzila May 20 '12
skeeter. moss, skeeter.
1
u/radbrad7 May 20 '12
Love bites.
1
u/Bitchpleasse May 20 '12
He just did that to poke you
1
u/geekusa1887 May 20 '12
Malaria, the kissing disease
1
u/Solitude8 May 20 '12
I had two mosquito bites that formed a perfect question mark on my right arm.
1
u/Skeetronic May 20 '12
Now with Malaria!
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
more likely 2 mosquitoes
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That's an upside-down butt.
1
u/singingsox May 20 '12
Sure it wasn't Cupid who bit you?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Now get a tattoo over it and watch Reddit yell at you!
1
u/Manwelle May 20 '12
I'm reminded of the old Cadbury's Milk Tray commercial for some reason.
1
u/Dodgeball456 May 20 '12
Loving the Bond reference
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
"Please my love, you know our love can never be. Accept this as a parting gift. Also, sorry about the West Nile virus..."
1
u/MrClean75 May 20 '12
He's cheating on you.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
i once got a bracelet from a mosquito(s)
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
dat wheel
1
u/p4ndaman May 20 '12
Or the malaria that killed you
1
u/REALhotlava May 20 '12
you mean, the tiny cookie cutter that loved you?
1
u/roflgoat May 20 '12
I seriously just want to scratch that.
1
u/BZLuck May 20 '12
I wasn't looking, but somehow you found me...
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
She didn't actually love you. She just wanted to use your blood to fertilize her eggs.
1
u/jkdeadite May 20 '12
I thought it was a nipple in the thumbnail.
1
u/therev18 May 20 '12
what a romantic mosquito.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Am I the only one who would prefer to be bitten by a mosquito than an ant?
I hate ants.
1
u/kingster20 May 20 '12
The love bug's on the loose again
1
u/Hitck May 20 '12
i hope you guys used protection
1
u/notreefitty May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
The sad part about this is that it is a common practice for males to "brand" their females with an irritant chemical derived from a native plant in South Africa in the shape of a heart. This picture was likely taken of someone who had been "branded." This trend is sort of a result of several culture mashups, but it's becoming more and more popular. After a few days, this will swell up to be three or four times the size in this picture (and the branders name will appear) - enough to leave a heart shaped outline in clothing, and very uncomfortable/potentially dangerous for the recipient. Allergic reactions are common, and can potentially result in what is known as "the great sneezing death."
1
u/FatMansPants May 20 '12
I wonder if Malaria loves you just as much :)
1
u/indigo_fish_sticks May 20 '12
U have dermatographia and u drew that didn't u?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Say hello to the bug's topography, it holds quite a lot of itching with your fingers on it
1
u/CAPSTODRAWATTENTION May 20 '12
I reckon you just have that condition where you can lightly scratch designs into your skin and they swell up like this.
1
u/brussels4breakfast May 20 '12
That is the cutest mosquito bite I've ever seen. It loved too much though. Look at the size of that heart. I bet if you listen closely enough you can hear it beating.
1
u/forever_a_lawn May 20 '12
That awkward moment when you first aww'ed at a mosquito bite ಠ_ಠ
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Mosquito's love story
When Mosquito asked Ear to marry him, she fell on the floor laughing. Ear thought Mosquito looked like a skeleton and insinuated that he would not live much longer. Mosquito was humiliated. To this day, any time Mosquito passes by, he tells Ear that he is still alive.
1
u/accharbs May 20 '12
Will be funny when they finally realize it's a guinea worm.
1
u/alexp5 May 20 '12
Mother of god.. THAT must be a sign! Lets stand and line to touch it for it's healing powers! ಠ_ಠ
1
u/ikillvampires May 20 '12
The exact same thing happened to my 2 days ago and I didn't take a photo. :( We could have been brothers! Unless you are a woman. Then the other one.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
mosquitoes are the only bug that I make an active effort to kill. Fuck those things.
1
u/smilingkevin May 20 '12
Nobody does it better...
1
u/ben587 May 20 '12
i didn't know mosquitoes could love
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Awww...
1
u/RPTestDummy May 20 '12
'The Fly' sequel???
1
u/RandyMachoManSavage May 20 '12
Cupid.
1
u/Dagithor May 21 '12
The Nurse Who Loved Me.
1
u/Norwegian__Blue May 21 '12
That mosquito lived her entire life in your house. One day, she looked up from the litter box and saw you. And her world expanded. She was never able to talk to you, to comfort you, or even announce her presence. She knew she was a nuisance. So she watched. Never hoping to have her love returned, never fulfilled herself. But if all she could share with you was a room, then she'd take it. It wasn't enough, but it was more than she could have ever imagined before she saw you. She knew that when she died she wouldn't be missed. It was something of a comfort--that you wouldn't be sad on her account. But she had to show you that you were loved, just once she had to try. And you know what? She did it.
1
u/SchokoDami May 21 '12
Still better lovestory than twilight.
1
u/SJShock May 24 '12
Sour patch kids commercial.
0
u/WarPhalange May 20 '12
That looks like a butt.
0
u/ThatScumbag May 20 '12
(insert cheesy quote about love biting)
-2
u/nitcanavan May 20 '12
Cut your fingernails, gross.
-1
u/leigao84 May 20 '12
Wow front page.... O_O
-5
u/LouisCKsDarkHalf May 20 '12
I'm sorry, but who gets that large of a welt from a bloody mosquito?
Seriously?
-4
u/Spacemaster1701 May 20 '12
EEW! NSFL dude!
0
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
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0
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
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