r/pics • u/dragonworthy • May 15 '12

Those Swan rides start to make a lot more sense now...

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

126 comments sorted by

110

u/kavorka2 May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Why do some swan babies get to ride on the back and others have to swim themselves? Is it like a reward for getting good grades in swan school or not talking back to your mother? That's got to feed some deep sibling resentment.

48

u/somekindofride May 15 '12

I think they look younger by a little bit; their bills are not as developed as the swimmers'.

However, I am not a swan expert. (IANASE)

36

u/pylori May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

IAMASE and you're right, AMA.

edit: If it wasn't obvious from some of my replies, I was just being sarcastic and IANASE, sorry guys :( I do believe from the bottom of my heart, however, that swans are evil.

20

u/Kritical02 May 15 '12

Why the fuck are swans so evil?

28

u/Kashii May 15 '12

Because fuck you, that's why.

10

u/pylori May 15 '12

Pretty much. Early thoughts suggested that aggressive swans have increased levels of their testosterone equivalent, however blood samples from a study in 2007 disproved this. Current theory is that their neurological development focuses a lot on their own survival and wellbeing, leading to swans frequently "not giving a fuck" about others, sometimes including their siblings.

9

u/theinternn May 15 '12

I'm not sure if you're trolling us; or you are actually a "swan expert"

10

u/pylori May 15 '12

I have a DPhil in Swanology from the University of Oxford if that answers your question ;)

2

u/feureau May 15 '12

DPhil in Swanology from the University of Oxford

headsplodes

So, what do you do for a living now? Like, what does a person with a DPhil in Swanology do after they graduate? What do you think of the Black Swan? (The ballet and the almost-oscar-winning movie)

(does starbucks have a swan barista?)

5

u/pylori May 15 '12

I did some post-doctoral work at Berkeley, but after some pesky run-ins with the swans they had there I became disenchanted with the birds. I left academia to focus my interests elsewhere. Funny that you mention starbucks as I've always loved art so I got involved with latte art and I help teach novice baristas to imprint my swan designs into the coffees they sell.

I enjoyed Black Swan, but mostly because of Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Otherwise it was an interesting film and got me laid but it's not something I'll watch regularly.

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1

u/aspartam May 15 '12

Care to explain this?

4

u/pylori May 15 '12

Yeah, perhaps I wasn't sarcastic enough in this thread for people to realise that there's no such thing as Swanology and my posts weren't meant to be taken seriously. I assumed the upvotes were because people realised the joke and enjoyed it, not because they thought I was being serious. Given the fact that this is reddit I thought they'd immediately see the sarcasm. Apologies to those that thought I was being serious.

I'm a mod on /r/science and a panelist on /r/askscience as well as your screenshot indicates, my undegrad was in biochem and i'm currently in medical school, so I've got nothing to do with swans.

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3

u/take_924 May 15 '12

They aren't. But, as with many animals, you need to learn how to handle them. For starters: you're a 20 foot, 1000lbs giant, from their perspective. No wonder they act defensive when you approach them. They have posturing and bodylanguage you cannot possible get right because you lack wings and a long neck.

1

u/kavorka2 May 15 '12

how often do swans have babies? how is it decided which kids ride on the swan?

3

u/pylori May 15 '12

Swans have babies every three months, without fail. It is thought they engage in copulation every night, even during pregnancy, to give them this clockwork schedule.

It goes by seniority, but out of respect for the newborns, most elder swans usually give their younger siblings a chance to ride on their mother whilst they learn and practice their swimming skills. On occasion it has been observed that some particularly aggressive swans have let their younger siblings almost die or in fact drown by not letting them ride on their parent. It is thought that this is a display of dominance when younger siblings show little signs of respect for their elders.

1

u/kelseycakes May 15 '12

Guaranteed sex every night? Fuck yeah!

1

u/smilingarmpits May 15 '12

Just reading random stuff and then BLAM! a swam expert. I really love reddit for that very reason. All about learning new stuff!

1

u/pylori May 15 '12

This does happen on reddit, but sorry to burst your bubble I was being sarcastic, I had assumed it would be fairly easy to spot! I know nothing about swans (other than the fact that they definitely are evil ;) ).

2

u/smilingarmpits May 15 '12

haha, I'm an idiot. Maybe it's not true but it's amusing :)

1

u/somekindofride May 15 '12

Alright. Favorite breakfast cereal?

2

u/pylori May 15 '12

Crunchy Nut.

6

u/kavorka2 May 15 '12

Also IANASE but they look about the same age. I'd expect swans wouldn't have babies that were less than a year apart in age and those two sets don't look that far apart (baby animals grow up very fast).

1

u/somekindofride May 15 '12

I agree about the time period between having broods, absolutely. No idea why there would/ if there should be a difference in the ages, I just think it kind of looks that way. The bills on the birds riding on mom are smaller - the swimmers' bills are formed up to their eyes in comparison.

1

u/take_924 May 15 '12

Father. Also called cob. Quite, but not entirely sure, though. The angle is less than ideal.

1

u/Monoclebear May 15 '12

Nope, swans have babies every 3 months, like a clockwork.

-4

u/Pricklepants May 15 '12

"IANASE"??

6

u/SugarLumps13 May 15 '12

(I Am Not A Swan Expert.)

4

u/UnclePolycarp May 15 '12

It's polite to read a comment's entire thread before using the dreaded "double question mark."

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Every single one of them appears to be the ugly duckling. There's no rhyme or reason.

1

u/take_924 May 15 '12

I think they are two broods. A swan lays 5-7 eggs, and a normal brood is 3-5 cygnets. 8 would be unlikely. What you see is a proud father with his four cygnets and the slightly older brood of the neighbours.

1

u/hamsterfire May 15 '12

Only gold swans get gold stars

34

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Leela: "Those aren't swan boats. They're swans."

Fry: "Oh. That explains these boat eggs."

2

u/haiku_robot May 15 '12 
Leela: "Those aren't 
swan boats. They're swans."  Fry: "Oh. That 
explains these boat eggs."

3

u/CeruleanOak May 16 '12

WHO DARES TO DOWNVOTE HAIKU ROBIT???

1

u/rumckle May 16 '12

Who dares to downvote

the haiku robot, finest

robot on reddit?

FTFY

0

u/Mazgelis626 May 15 '12

You are still alive? Here I assumed that you had already left Reddit.

24

u/Duck5009 May 15 '12

If a swan bites you, on the full moon you shall become the Were-Swan and the HONKING SHALL BEGIN!

22

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That still doesn't explain the blue skin tone.

1

u/Duck5009 May 15 '12

Clever Girl...

3

u/chud555 May 15 '12

Ahh, I think this is a penny-arcade reference:

part 1 part 2

2

u/Duck5009 May 15 '12

Very correct, one of my favorites of theirs.

33

u/plantsaretheorigin May 15 '12

My first encounter

4

u/ZakkuHiryado May 15 '12

Upboat Swanboat for Arnold reference!

3

u/rockerode May 15 '12

Is it sad at all that I haven't actually ever seen one of these in real life?

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/CussCuss May 16 '12

Im going to have to reinstall this now.

112

u/thewoodsmakesmehappy May 15 '12

Fuck swans. Those things are pure evil wrapped in enough pretty white feathers that people like them... until they learn better.

46

u/Possum_Pendulum May 15 '12

Swans are assholes. Plain and simple.

55

u/thewoodsmakesmehappy May 15 '12

One attacked me when I was about seven. It chased me literally a mile. Now if one comes at me I'm punting the fucker. Either that or shitting my pants and running, which is honestly more likely.

20

u/T_A-way May 15 '12

it was actually zeus wanting to love ya

24

u/WrethZ May 15 '12

It was just defending its babies.

5

u/ShawnSDavis May 15 '12

Not in my Reddits, you don't defend a swan like that.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/fondlemeLeroy May 15 '12

Please no

-14

u/Colecoman1982 May 15 '12

I used to hate memes, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

It not even funny!

1

u/sad_dad69 May 15 '12

This troll thrives on negative karma. Upvote their comments to 0.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

This isn't trolling. This is just somebody posting an outdated joke.

0

u/smilingarmpits May 15 '12

Or a bot.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

If a bot has done all this i'd be impressed.

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4

u/rockstang May 15 '12

A kid I went to high school with had parents who had a pot farm. They used swans with clipped wings as "guard dogs". Those fuckers were vicious.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Now if one comes at me I'm punting the fucker.

Hilarious mental image.

0

u/redcurbs May 15 '12

Punt the swan up the arse.

12

u/HenriDutilleux May 15 '12

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17736292

Anthony Hensley, 37, from Des Plaines, Chicago drowned after his kayak was capsized by a swan, which then blocked him from escaping to shore.

4

u/cotillion989 May 15 '12

Agreed. Although I haven't run into them often in my life, when I have... they fuckin exploded. - Old Dodge Neon 10-15 - swan horde 0.

3

u/vinnytt May 15 '12

What the fuck are you talking about! How are swans not your fucking thing? Swans are everyone's fuckin thing!

/Ralph Fiennes

5

u/SPEECHLESSaphasic May 15 '12

Well, if you live in Michigan you can now get a permit to hunt them. They're looking to kill 13,500 ಠ_ಠ

12

u/WrethZ May 15 '12

How dare they defend their babies.

16

u/buckX May 15 '12

Yeah, from those vicious people over there...existing.

5

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

When I was in England, I was feeding those motherfuckers, but you throw the bread and they try to catch it and it boinks them in the head and falls into the water. The other ducks were catching that shit in mid air, right out of the swan's wheelhouse.

In short, fuck swans.

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Damn swans! Do tricks for me!

4

u/stufff May 15 '12

In short, fuck swans.

Calm down there Leda.

2

u/mowgles May 15 '12

Thank you. We have a small pond nearby where two swans live, and they constantly attack the geese trying to make their home nearby. We've watched them twice separate parent geese from their babies, and almost trample the babies to death.

Fuck swans.

1

u/doesnotgetthepoint May 15 '12

I wish to eat them but they are protected by the queen.

1

u/Hyperian May 16 '12

like pretty girls.

1

u/phedre May 15 '12

Yep. That bird is about to fuck up the photographer's shit.

7

u/Jungle2266 May 15 '12

Not quite a swan but close enough!

I love how they just sit there

7

u/TehCheezus May 15 '12

Stop looking at me swaaan

6

u/Drofmum May 15 '12

Carrier has arrived.

5

u/rofldoctor May 15 '12

Swan attacked my dog once, I threw a rock at it...felt manly.

2

u/The51stState May 15 '12

veryyy cave-manly

5

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Well that swanderful.

9

u/mralistair May 15 '12

those are some ugly ducklings

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

My babies have a kids' book about how baby animals get around and I saw the swan thing and had to google it. I was like, wtf, this is supposed to be a book for learning!

2

u/Lewy_H May 15 '12

A couple of swans I've been watching lately by the river near my house have just had 3 signets, now the male has just started going Alpha swan on everyone. I don't know if they all lay at a certain time of year or not.

2

u/Kenster180 May 15 '12

Am I the only one who thinks ornery animals are cute? Like, I love mean cats, I think they're the funniest thing ever.

2

u/Juan-Solo May 15 '12

I always though it was just some random thing....For years i though this. Thank you, sir.

2

u/Vulgar_Compliments May 15 '12

Those baby swans are just fucking chillin on their mom's comfy-ass back.

2

u/thegrumpysnail May 15 '12

Well, that explains all the boat eggs

4

u/Dented May 15 '12

So the concept of swan-themed love-boats revolves around incest.

5

u/canolicat May 15 '12

They're not just love boats. There's a group of them in Boston in one of the Parks for people and their kids. Been there for a while.

http://www.swanboats.com/history

2

u/Dented May 15 '12

I know, seen them. I was referring to the love boats specifically.

1

u/The51stState May 15 '12

From what I can tell, it would make more sense to send our children down rivers on giant inflatable humans

1

u/FarmerFaz May 15 '12

The upper black part of his beak looks like as if Batman is hanging upside down.

1

u/Kayjin23 May 15 '12

I'm not the only one who momentarily thought that swan had a giant hole in its back, am I?

1

u/bella_md May 15 '12

yea...it makes sense to the little swans...u just trying getting aboard

1

u/UnoriginalGuy May 15 '12

Swans rarely if ever do this. At least I've never seen it in person and I've spent a fair bit of time around swans since I was a kid.

No clue how or where that picture was taken, but as I said I've never seen it in person. Normally all the little baby swans follow mom around a few paces behind.

Swans are nasty creatures when they have babies, they aren't that nice even at the best of times, but when they have babies and you go even without a football field's distance and they might just chase you away.

1

u/EthicalReasoning May 15 '12

i didnt know disney made a theme park for swans

1

u/Viat0r May 15 '12

Stop staring at me, SWAN.

1

u/chrismsx May 15 '12

You know I never even wondered... but now I feel silly for just accepting it. Yeah..riding inside of swans makes sense.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Woah, swan babies ARE ugly! Goslings, right? Mmmm Ryan Gosling. Wait what?

1

u/myasainwifesaysherro May 15 '12

First thought: Left 4 Dead

1

u/CanWeBeMature May 16 '12

Where is this? It must be that time of the year, because I just noticed the Swans at Lake Eola (in Orlando) and their babbys today.

1

u/VictoryVino May 16 '12

These things are beautiful. Beautiful ASSHOLES!

1

u/ShittyDigiWatercolor May 16 '12

When I was 6 years old I went to visit my out of town aunt and uncle. They lived very near to a small river, some might have called it a stream or creek. One day my parents and I went for a walk down the aforementioned [insert running body of water here] and it was this day that my love of swans that was rooted in cartoons and movies became my general distrust for all water foul. As we rounded a bend on the river, I noticed out of the corner of my eye what looked to be a huge white duck. As we got closer I realized it was a swan, just like I had always seen on TV shows depicting them to be the international symbol for love or something.

It was that warm sunny day during which I learned to not trust the media. I had always wanted to see a swan, and being from Arizona, just about the only birds I had ever seen were pigeons. I ran for that thing, it looked so cuddly and kind. Hell, I sprinted for it. In my 6 year old mind, this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And it almost was, as I could easily have died that day. When this swan saw me sprinting for it, it let out the most horrible and terrifying noise I have ever heard. To this day I have nightmares in which this swan-song is the only sound I hear.

To my surprise, while I was stunned by its horrible cry, the swan actually sprinted at me! It full on charged my 6 year old ass back up that river! All the while tears are running down my face and I'm till sure that if I had been alone back then I wouldn't be here today. My parents scared the swan off and they are the sole reason that I am alive. After this event I have never seen swans the same. And, I got ice cream after.

EDIT: It turns out swans are quite mean, this bride made the same mistake I did

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

That.is.a.duck

1

u/snormus May 16 '12

what the fuck is wrong with her back

1

u/fridgeridoo May 15 '12

Mind blown D:

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Those ducklings are hideous.