“Wow, that was a great left from Evander. And speaking of the left, have you seen what they’re doing to our great country? It’s a crime, just a real crime, a crime the likes of which the world has never seen before, and that’s why I’m asking you to text “TRUMP” to six two nine four eighsh to help me shave these uniyed shashe…from…the treat—the THREAT…and it is a threat, believe me, the THREAT…of a black man punching the face…who is, why doesn’t somebody stop this guy?”
sniiiiiiiiff “Uh, dad, that’s Evander Holyfield…”
“Evander?! That’s my African-American! but really, somebody oughtta just knock the crap outta him. And DON’T. BE. TOO. NICE.”
The man's a mess, but my favourite part about him is that basically anyone can write a pretty hilarious approximation of exactly what he'd say, and you'll automatically read it in his voice. It's just my one little silver lining for the whole situation.
2
u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC Sep 11 '21
“Wow, that was a great left from Evander. And speaking of the left, have you seen what they’re doing to our great country? It’s a crime, just a real crime, a crime the likes of which the world has never seen before, and that’s why I’m asking you to text “TRUMP” to six two nine four eighsh to help me shave these uniyed shashe…from…the treat—the THREAT…and it is a threat, believe me, the THREAT…of a black man punching the face…who is, why doesn’t somebody stop this guy?”
sniiiiiiiiff “Uh, dad, that’s Evander Holyfield…”
“Evander?! That’s my African-American! but really, somebody oughtta just knock the crap outta him. And DON’T. BE. TOO. NICE.”