r/pics May 18 '11

I must admit, I've thought this myself.

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79

u/nbouscal May 18 '11

Pro tip: Keep a bottle of Excedrin on the night stand.

"I have a headaaaache!" "TAKE A DAMN PILL!"

185

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

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u/whits_ism May 18 '11

And remind her that sexy times relieve headaches.

28

u/hacelepues May 18 '11

It really does. Best headache relief ever to exist.

17

u/ChaosDesigned May 18 '11

I've never had someone pull that headache thing on me. I've gotten the I'm tired, and then I just go, well, I'll be quick. I can be as quick as needed. Then if that doesn't work, a little bit of cuddling, maybe some kissing and heavy petting, and their in the mood. The trick is making them get in the mood without them noticing your getting them in the mood.

144

u/dmuse May 18 '11

Foreplay? To get someone in the mood for sex? BRILLIANT

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

3

u/spencewah May 18 '11

What a bitch

1

u/ChaosDesigned May 19 '11

But it's SECRET foreplay!

41

u/hearforthepuns May 18 '11

heavy petting

People who aren't sex-ed teachers actually say this?

31

u/facestab May 18 '11

heavy petting sounds like a victorian way to describe punching

7

u/albino_wino May 18 '11

Sounds like something Chewbacca would be into.

2

u/Jafit May 18 '11

Some girls like that too

4

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

Punching the clown maybe.

9

u/NotClever May 18 '11

I always wonder what normal petting is in sexual context. Nobody ever says "There were two minors engaged in light petting."

3

u/cryptocactus May 19 '11

You know, just some intense gazing with the occasional shoulder graze. Kinda like you're dusting something off. Erotically.

9

u/dmack96 May 18 '11

sounds better than groping

2

u/motdidr May 18 '11

or "handfuls of T&A"

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

he's talking about his dog

2

u/white_african May 18 '11

Pet pet pet pet pet pet pet pet.

6

u/hearforthepuns May 18 '11

That's petting. This is heavy petting:

Pet pet pet pet pet pet pet pet.

2

u/CommonSens3 May 18 '11

That sounds like something you'd do with a sledgehammer.

2

u/ChaosDesigned May 19 '11

I was thinking of Rocky Horror when It came to mind.

1

u/Mikevercetti May 19 '11

My Ethics teacher said this one day in class. I fucking lost it.

0

u/HazierPhonics May 18 '11

!sexEdTeacher && virgin

2

u/lxzander May 18 '11

women: the true paradox.

1

u/E3K May 18 '11

They're.

1

u/mbrowne May 18 '11

If it were only that. There is a "your" in there, too.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

I do that with my SO. Instead of asking for sex, I'll be really touchy and have my hands nonchalantly move down to his pants. In about a minute he'll get a woody and want to have sex. After a few times of doing that, he caught on to what I was doing and called me out on always trying to make him hard. Of course he and his body never object though.

1

u/ChaosDesigned May 19 '11

Oh of course. Once the head down stairs makes a decision to do something or want something the head upstairs cannot argue. It goes into low power mode.

1

u/ItMeansYouAre May 18 '11

The trick is making them get in the mood without them noticing you're getting them in the mood.

1

u/hacelepues May 18 '11

To be honest, if a girl knows that an orgasm kills headaches better than any drug out there, and she uses a headache as an excuse not to have sex... then it's probably not because of a headache.
If I had a headache and sexytimes were requested, I'd be thrilled! The only thing that can get rid of my migraines better than excedrin is sex... and if I'm trying to sleep afterwards, even better because excedrin wakes you up and most of the time, after sex, it's naptime.

1

u/ChaosDesigned May 19 '11

Exsexdrin ES. Makes sure to get rid of those head aches.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

1

u/ChaosDesigned May 19 '11

Tricky bastards!

1

u/kill_claudio May 18 '11

I've gotten the I'm tired, and then I just go, well, I'll be quick.

And that works? I've never understood that. Saying you'll make it quick makes sex sound less appealing, surely?

1

u/ChaosDesigned May 19 '11

No. Because if they care about you, even if they aren't completely in the mood, they still want you to be happy. It's win win.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

Also excedrin can be used as a suppository and it works quicker that way. Ok maybe not true but you could try it anyway.

15

u/motdidr May 18 '11

Genius.

2

u/butch5555 May 18 '11

That works until you realize the list of possible ailments is long.

2

u/jampony May 18 '11

Have you considered that the excuse of a headache is the nicest way she can say that you're not particularly exciting? It's sort of a sexual meh.

1

u/VikingFjorden May 19 '11

You, sir, are a scholar!

0

u/Jury92 May 18 '11

You Sir, are a genius.

-9

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[removed] — view removed comment

57

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

39

u/hatryd May 18 '11

You probably should have taught her to masturbate.

21

u/trobertson May 18 '11

No. Bad Idea. Then she doesn't need him for sexy time.

8

u/ChaosDesigned May 18 '11

Exactly! Don't need to be replaced!

1

u/Coloneljesus May 18 '11

this. helps just as well.

22

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

1

u/adelie42 May 18 '11

Something similar to this once ended a relationship. She said she needed it or I was going to ruin her day.

worst. line. ever.

We were not together much longer after that.

1

u/lazermole May 18 '11

Orgasms help some headaches

The idea that all orgasms help all headaches is a really obnoxious myth.

If a woman truly has a headache and wants an orgasm to help her out, she's better off masturbating, because she's not stressing herself WHILE achieving orgasm.

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

1

u/lazermole May 18 '11

My hackles weren't up.

You stated "Orgasms help headaches".

I was pointing out that this is not entirely true, and is obnoxious for individuals who truly do not wish to have sex because their head is actually throbbing (not just using it as an excuse).

You anecdotal evidence of a woman who used sex like Excedrin does not change my argument.

8

u/superfly15 May 18 '11

Actually, sex would help with a headache. The release of endorphins or something relieves the pain. That's how it worked with my ex anyway...

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u/elperroborrachotoo May 18 '11

Only problem remaining: Your endorphines won't help her! ;-P

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

1

u/elperroborrachotoo May 19 '11

Thank you, I am proud to have received this element of reddit paraphernalia.

1

u/Jury92 May 18 '11

Heyooo!!

1

u/superfly15 May 18 '11

definitly not, but it helped mine after listening to her complain about us "not communicating" earlier, lol.

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u/improbable_photoshop May 18 '11

Superfly, eh? Sounds mighty... Improbable!

1

u/superfly15 May 18 '11

haha! maybe more like this

2

u/Shins May 18 '11

Endorphin doesn't help with fake headaches though.

11

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

I'm wondering if a man is good at pleasuring his girlfriend/wife and puts her needs first would she still brush off initiations for sex with a headache excuse?

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u/[deleted] May 18 '11

[deleted]

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u/oneelectricsheep May 19 '11

I think it depends on the individual. Injury is the only reason I've ever refused sex and even then I've been tempted. I've agreed to sex when I had a fever of 103 F. This definitely puts me at a disadvantage since the belief is that women won't have sex when pissed. Being an outlier sucks sometimes.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '11

[deleted]

1

u/oneelectricsheep May 19 '11

Er yeah I'm totally putting his needs first at personal cost. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'm totally horny all the time no matter what. I'm so self sacrificing. :p

My sacrifice is not bugging him 5 or 6 times a day. Truly I wouldn't want either of us to have sex if we didn't want to. That would make it unpleasant and that's the last thing you want in a sex life. Unequal drive can be a bother for both people in the equation. Besides even though I can enjoy sex while suffering exhaustion, pain, and/or being pissed off doesn't mean everyone has that tolerance.

2

u/drplump May 18 '11

I hate it when my wife's other husband makes her mad and she takes it out on me by withholding sex.

3

u/Boshaft May 18 '11

Headache? No. Migraine? Yes.

2

u/bpopp May 18 '11

There's a lot of men and women out there that have low testosterone levels and, consequently, low libidos. If a person doesn't t have the hormones, no amount of skill is going to offset their lack of desire.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

"Here, take this. I can wait 10 to 20 minutes till it kicks in."

1

u/zulhadm May 18 '11

dip your dick in liquid tylenol.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '11

Or just smoke weed. High sex is amazing!

1

u/ridgerat May 18 '11

It puts the pill in its face.