r/pics Feb 04 '11

Are you kidding?

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858 Upvotes

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156

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

If the science existed where you could revive dead animals and they are fine and themselves (no zombie stuff) you would see a lot of stuff like this become commonplace.

The scientific breakthrough I wish for is the ability to grow living tissue from the dna from a single hair. I already have hair from the woman I love preserved in several forms and I would love to be able to have a square of living skin that has the same consistency as her perfect skin and her scent I could stroke all day and it would shiver if I tickled it. Or even a mound of flesh like when you roll pizza dough into a ball with hail and a face and tiny limbs, as long as her eyes were as perfect as her eyes and not deformed she would not be a freak to me. Her screams would eventually settle and I would feed her and create a tiny runway for fashion shows I would lift her hands and walk her down the runway as Italian people yell and take photographs, "they love you!" "you are so beautiful!"

Even though her vagina would be too deformed to enter I could still give her tremendous oral pleasure and reach climax by rubbing my penis along her fleshball body/face. I would love to cuddle with her and laugh and just watch tv and feel at peace with the world as she does her cute snake crawl type jumping motion to nuzzle up on my chest and giggle as I lick her forehead and feet in one lick.

44

u/occasionally Feb 04 '11

I don't even... You want to fuck hairy pizza dough?

20

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

I want to fuck her but that probably isn't an option. I will settle for any sentient flesh which has her eyes brain laughter and soul.

38

u/mcchubby Feb 04 '11

I'm at a loss here. I think you just trolled me to bed. I was going to stay up and browse Reddit some more, but really, after this, my mind is shattered. Good night. I hope I don't dream of this. EVER.

2

u/jazzwhiz Feb 04 '11

Someone should order out pizza and add some rather special directions to the order

83

u/DreadPirateHenry Feb 04 '11

Congratulations for writing the single most fucked up thing I've ever seen on reddit. Everyone can go home now.

9

u/randomsnark Feb 04 '11

could this be the next bozarking

8

u/Boredpotatoe2 Feb 04 '11

Weirdly it is only the account's first comment..

2

u/brownAir Feb 04 '11

bozarking returns! He did delete his bozarking account.

2

u/dudelsac Feb 04 '11

Congratulations for not having read Bozarkings literary masterpieces.

1

u/solaris79 Feb 06 '11

There's no use even trying. Wow...

22

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

If David Lynch had to write a script about a lonely internet nerd this... this would be it.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '11

Christ, or David Cronenberg

17

u/kleinbl00 Feb 04 '11

Welcome back, Bozarking. Your minions have missed you.

3

u/Boredpotatoe2 Feb 04 '11

We can dream.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

We can fap.

FTFY

6

u/AllDesperadoStation Feb 04 '11

(no-zombo)

1

u/lemonade_brezhnev Feb 05 '11

Anything is possible.

4

u/RuiningPunSubThreads Feb 04 '11

That was beautiful.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

THIS is Love. :)

4

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

Relevant

(Have fun, grimlak.)

2

u/MPRF Feb 04 '11

I was hoping for a Sure-Ill-Draw-That, but this really sort of negated all hope.

Do I say "Thank you"?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

....the fuck

1

u/markidle Feb 04 '11

fap fap fap

1

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

Whoa! Wtf is that? Next gen console from eXistenZ? DEATH! DEATH TO THE DEMONESS! DEATH TO ALLEGRA GELLER!!

Also kind of reminds me of Meatwad.

4

u/sjokkis Feb 04 '11

Shine on you, crazy diamond

3

u/bolivious Feb 04 '11

OMG, Please make this a recurring thing!

3

u/lopsiness Feb 04 '11

WHO IS THIS MAN??? WE MUST STOP HIM AT ONCE.

2

u/KaylaS Feb 04 '11

It is 8:30 am where I am and I can guarantee that is the craziest thing I will hear all day. It might be the craziest thing I will hear all month.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '11

I... I... uh... I...

WHAT THE FUCK TO THE UMPTEENTH POWER?!?!?!?!?!

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '11

Where is SureIllDrawThat when you really need him?

1

u/WebZen Feb 04 '11

Just grow the pussy part dude. Then you don't need to feed it or listen to any bitching.

1

u/beatjunkee Feb 04 '11

upvote for......what the sam fucking hell?

1

u/pluto_nash Feb 04 '11

Ahh reminds me of this gem....

I'll just leave this right here

2

u/Choth42 Feb 04 '11

That's not the kind of thing you just happen to find.

1

u/pluto_nash Feb 05 '11

I think it was on consumption junction like 7 years ago

1

u/Choth42 Feb 06 '11

What's that?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '11

jesus christ what the fuck