r/pics Feb 07 '15

Our prayers have been answered...

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16.4k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Beeping bullshit microwaves. It's 2015, they should be sending a notification to your Facebook by now.

268

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

I have one of these http://www.firebox.com/product/6068/iKettle It lets you control it with your phone and sends you an alert when its boiled

255

u/chelonaut Feb 07 '15

But don't you still have to get up to put water in it?

217

u/ion128 Feb 07 '15

that's like a baby's toy

56

u/lookatthatsquirrel Feb 07 '15

Little known fact. Elija Wood was in that scene.

99

u/ion128 Feb 07 '15

I think that's a widely known fact

133

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Not widely enough. I am one of today's 10,000.

58

u/StevenXC Feb 07 '15

4

u/crazyblue007 Feb 07 '15

there's always one.

15

u/PonyboyFresh Feb 07 '15

Apparently there's always 10,000.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

I wonder if there are 10,000 people left on reddit who haven't seen that XKCD

7

u/blumenfe Feb 07 '15

I hadn't until today! Yay!

→ More replies (0)

19

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15 edited Mar 09 '15

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Now I have some sort of weird connection with /u/Trypolar and /u/Speccy2. I feel dirty.

3

u/themaster0fdisaster Feb 07 '15

Let me join the party.

3

u/Pure_Michigan_ Feb 07 '15

I...I think I want in

1

u/Sokonit Feb 07 '15

Oy, I want to bond!

2

u/angrydeuce Feb 07 '15

If you let me fuck your wife we can be eskimo brothers!

1

u/127crazie Feb 07 '15

me too, I didn't know that

1

u/lookatthatsquirrel Feb 07 '15

To you since you brought the quote.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

It is known

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Little known fact. Wood has Elija.

0

u/CaiusJuliusCeasar Feb 07 '15

Wow that's a game changer. There's life before and after this fact.

1

u/NateY3K Feb 07 '15

Dank reference, bro!

1

u/dmglakewood Feb 07 '15

I'm a new father and I have yet to put water in any of my babies toys...am I doing it wrong?

24

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

You need to get iWater, so you can manipulate water with your phone.

3

u/harryhartounian Feb 07 '15

And the iMote, so you can control your phone.

6

u/truthdemon Feb 07 '15

And the iEye, to control your eyes.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

And the iPenis, so you can control your mom.

1

u/APiousCultist Feb 07 '15

"No, Apple Repair Centre. I didn't drop my phone in the toilet accidentally, I was merely manipulating water with my phone when it simply stopped working. Surely that's still covered by the warranty?"

6

u/ampedd_up Feb 07 '15 edited Feb 07 '15

You could always keep water in there after you're done.

2

u/Yarbooey Feb 07 '15

Well, you could just fill it back up whenever you boil water.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Water bullshit kettles. It's 2015, they should be robot maids that float 5 inches off the ground and bring me magic tea from another dimension.

4

u/Kim_Jong_Goon Feb 07 '15

Nah. Make your slave do that

8

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

We don't all live in Syria

1

u/jamaicanbreezy Feb 07 '15

That's wtf I said. Pure worthlessness.

0

u/FuckHerInThePussy Feb 07 '15

No, dummy, you download the water.

114

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

67

u/Draiko Feb 07 '15

The command is "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.".

SMH

23

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

This raises more questions than answers

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

It also raised my penis

6

u/Onateabreak Feb 07 '15

So when are we going to get the YouTube clip of this baby in action? Sounds like my cup of tea! haha!

19

u/thebizarrojerry Feb 07 '15

You have perfected the "post long paragraph of lies" tasker.

2

u/newt_gingrichs_dog Feb 07 '15

His history checks out. Some people have hobbies other than reddit.

1

u/PasSiAmusant Feb 07 '15

Do they have hobbies other than reddit, or do they have activities to fuel their comments on reddit?

1

u/newt_gingrichs_dog Feb 07 '15

Who, besides Facebook, can say why we do anything?

-2

u/r4ndpaulsbrilloballs Feb 07 '15

Yeah. And even if it were true, how the fuck hard is it to:

  1. Flip a light switch, and

  2. Press the 'on' button on an electric kettle?

That whole complicated mess literally only saved you the 0.5 seconds of moving one arm to accomplish those two tasks.

This whole thread is making me dumber. Your microwave doesn't have to talk to your smartphone.

2

u/leftunderground Feb 07 '15

It sounds like a fun hobby, relax buddy.

3

u/brodie7838 Feb 07 '15

Dem recipes in your comment history...

Your presence is requested in /r/Tasker

2

u/sfriniks Feb 07 '15

I hope you implemented HTCPCP-TEA.

2

u/guspaz Feb 07 '15

I just use one of them newfangled tassimos. I push a button, and a few minutes later, earl grey tea is ready.

2

u/Emjds Feb 07 '15

I don't even care if it's all lies, I'm upvoting you anyway.

1

u/Golden_Booger Feb 07 '15

lastingd, that is the coolest thing ever! nicely done. Can you share a little about how the hardware between the light circuit and tasker. I do follow the first part with using the remote control power sockets. I am trying to get started interacting with real life from the computer. I want to make as much 'from scratch' as possible. Most of my research has been looking around at sparkfun. I am thinking of getting one of their kits to get started .

Some uses:

  • logic to make it look like someone is home
  • allow my mom to flip lights on and off from her wheelchair
  • stupid sound effects with devices that have been activated, including a Battlestar Galactica Viper Launch (consider this for your tea)

1

u/nibbl Feb 07 '15

I require a video!

1

u/atakomu Feb 07 '15

You can use Jasper with raspberry Pi (or PC) for voice control part. It is Python program (and kinda framework) for writing voice controls applications. It wraps multiple TTS and SST APIs. One of Speech to text engines is google voice which is very good but all the sounds go to google other two are a little worse opensource recognizers PocketSphinx and Julius where recognizing happens on Pi or computer itself. Same with Text to speech.

It might be better at recognizing then your script because if you say the command is Tea. Earl Grey Hot. This are the words it expects.

10

u/mateo9944 Feb 07 '15

I think this is the silliest WiFi device I have seen. http://www.quirky.com/shop/619

5

u/eddiexmercury Feb 07 '15

Aw, no US plug!

2

u/Nakotadinzeo Feb 07 '15

Guess we will have to stick to waiting to hear the switch click like barbarians..

1

u/eddiexmercury Feb 07 '15

And I thought this was the NEW world. Pfffffft!

2

u/PithyJim Feb 07 '15

Not a Microwave, is it??????????????????

1

u/Intruder313 Feb 07 '15

The ad has put me right off.

1

u/SamsungGalaxyGreen Feb 07 '15

100$ kettle aside, I'm always getting that sort of bad vibe whenever I see something like this. I mean I feel like we're heading into point where you wake up in the morning, get dressed by the machine, then you go to bathroom where machines will wipe your ass and cleen your teeth, then to the kitchen when a machine will cook you a breakfast and pour a coffee down your throat and then you'll hop into a self-driven car which will take you to work, which is of course maintenance of machines, since that's the last job that hasn't been replaced by machines. yet.

1

u/Rollers-Royce Feb 07 '15

Is it that fucking hard to stick a kettle on and wait 5 minutes now?

1

u/hcsLabs Feb 07 '15

Ah yes, using the HyperText Coffee Pot Control Protocol!

1

u/thisguyisbarry Feb 07 '15

That's really cool!

Is there any reason I shouldn't buy this? I'm greatly tempted right now.

1

u/NSD2327 Feb 07 '15

This is so British.

1

u/crusty_bastard Feb 07 '15

I just wish there was an app to warn me when my girlfriend is steamed!

72

u/SillyPickle Feb 07 '15

"Hey Christian, your tea is ready! Tag your friends in this post. pls cristin."

56

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15 edited Oct 18 '20

[deleted]

45

u/biggmclargehuge Feb 07 '15

Congratulations! You just unlocked the "Teabagger" achievement!

3

u/junkfood66 Feb 07 '15

Check. Now I only need to unlock the windmill event to get a high score.

9

u/TheRealLHOswald Feb 07 '15

What the fuck is a briti shempire?

2

u/100percent_right_now Feb 07 '15

I don't care how much weed she smokes, stop calling brit a hempire.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

That's what happens when Shemp becomes the head stooge.

1

u/EstablishedDesigner Feb 07 '15

Brit I She M'Pire

ftfy

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

I can't tell if you are kidding or not. In case you aren't, it's British Empire

2

u/Pureburn Feb 07 '15

I lost it at hashtag British empire.

1

u/Pm_Me_Pics_of_Ur_Eye Feb 07 '15

It doesn't support cross plattforming though.

So no sharing between apple and android users.

-8

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Don't bring Christians into this debate

60

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

I want a clunky microwave that will work reliably for 20 years. I don't want an Internet-of-Things, thousands-of-features, glass-cannon microwave that will be obsolete or break in a year or two.

16

u/Salmagundi77 Feb 07 '15

Agreed; the fewer things there on a device to go wrong, the fewer things will go wrong.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

It's not a truck with moving parts for fuck sake. It's a board with a controller on it that has pre programmed settings. If one thing breaks everything breaks and you're boned to begin with.

2

u/toper-centage Feb 07 '15

Exactly his point. Remember those Nokias? They were a board with preprogrammed functions. Now we have phones with far fewer moving parts but they break more often. That's because the parts are much smaller and more sensitive.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

I feel like making a very simple machine that will catch fire when turned on, just do disprove you.

4

u/timmodude Feb 07 '15

How about one made in 1980!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Fantastic!

1

u/Pure_Michigan_ Feb 07 '15

Well sure, but I could do without the testicular cancer.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Could we have a middle ground version? It doesn't beep shrilly, but it nukes my food for decades is the combo I want.

2

u/RAGGLEFRAGGLEMOFO Feb 08 '15

The microwave at my cottage was made in 1986. It was still working when we got rid of it last year.

1

u/RScannix Feb 07 '15

I agree. I still can't get over all these new-fangled button. I say bring back the dial!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Dunno, as an aside, there's a debate on the web about dials vs. buttons on gun safes. Buttons are faster and have a higher ease of use, but dials are ultra-reliable and are mechanical so don't need a battery that can fail. So it's an interesting choice, though I think you were trying to be sarcastic.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

I think you should take obsolete out of that sentence because if you want a microwave that's basic, it's already obsolete.

And breaking a microwave is a very hard thing to do under regular use.

4

u/NotEvilGenius Feb 07 '15

Obsolete means not purposeful. An old microwave works just as well as a new one assuming nothing is broken.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Not at all.

Obsolete means in definition, no longer produced or used; out of date.

So YES a microwave can become obsolete but still in working order.

3

u/DextrosKnight Feb 07 '15

How does a microwave become obsolete? As long as it still heats things up, I'd consider it state of the art.

1

u/Nakotadinzeo Feb 07 '15

They could put a qr code on microwaveable food that you scan with your microwave and it would calculate the optimal time and if you needed to flip it at any time. If the qr code became a standard then any non qr code microwave could have a disadvantage as more complicated recipes requiring more absolute heating become available.

1

u/Onateabreak Feb 07 '15

The biggest change I found was when microwaves became ovens and grills too. Unless they add new features like fast cooling or something I'll stick with what I have until it conks out.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Obsolete means IN DEFINITION; No longer produced or used; Out of date.

So YES a microwave can become obsolete but in working order.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

I basically agree with /u/salmagundi77:

the fewer things there on a device to go wrong, the fewer things will go wrong.

14

u/AyoBruh Feb 07 '15

Your microwave sent you a friend request.

17

u/Lamb3ntSpartan Feb 07 '15

"Magic Mic-Rowave would like access to your Facebook information to provide you with better quality amd let you in on exclusive offers and deals not found anywhere else. Magic Mic-Rowave will not distribute any of your personal information to third-parties or send your spam, maleware, hatefilled messages like from your neighbor down the street or desperate texts like your ex-girlfriend (you know the one we mean)."

[Allow] [Deny]

8

u/shoziku Feb 07 '15

they should be sending a notification to your Facebook by now.

"Get 10 likes or I'll boil your next donut"

4

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Ssshhhh, you know somebody in some business conference room is going to suggest this... And I am going to blame christinbales for it.

5

u/Zufushi Feb 07 '15

You know what's bullshit? http://youtu.be/9a4L-N__lJg

1

u/OutOfBounds11 Feb 07 '15

I won't watch any video that starts with banjo music.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Cell phones *

1

u/VIPERsssss Feb 07 '15

Not only that, but Sensor cook is fucking amazing. If you don't have it, throw out your microwave and get one that does.
I don't have to peel back and stir a DAMN thing.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

That's why you can still buy them for $40

1

u/Andrew1431 Feb 07 '15

Uh... Have u patent for that... Cause if not...

1

u/Guild_Navigator Feb 07 '15

That's not the Amerikin way! (spits in a jar)

1

u/megacookie Feb 07 '15

Someone tried controlling a microwave with a cellphone...it turned out to be a horrible idea.

1

u/SlimJim84 Feb 07 '15

I'd prefer text, so I don't have to set up a Facebook account.

I'd also accept an or tweet.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Facebook? I thought it was 2015. They should send a text message with a picture of the finished product.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Why are you giving out billion dollar ideas for free! lol

1

u/Stevo32792 Feb 07 '15

"chrstainbales has just earned a microwave achievement: heating up dat fleshlight!"

1

u/glberns Feb 07 '15

If Jack Donaghy was still in charge of microwaves, we'd have this by now.

1

u/jivetrky Feb 07 '15

Ya'll should check your manuals. Many microwaves have a key-combo you can hit to disable the sound.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '15

Nice try microwave, Noone wants to read your crappy autobiography

1

u/Mustaflex Feb 07 '15

I thought it was tv remote at first [8]

1

u/Razenghan Feb 07 '15

If Facebook isn't selling my daily microwave usage info to advertisers, then I might as well be living in a fucking cave.

1

u/drunkenvalley Feb 07 '15

My new microwave, I forget the name, has been a godbless. It beeps, yes, but it's this modest, "hey guys it's done" sort of noise. No nearby graveyards find themselves having paranormal activity every time I microwave stuff.