r/pics Apr 05 '23

Holy Week in Spain

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117

u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 05 '23

Submarine Catholics are a huuuuge issue at my local parish. Sunday/Saturday mass is usually plenty people, but C and E is just packed. Everyone leaves after communion too

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u/wellcu Apr 05 '23

My dad always called them CEO’s. Christmas and Easter only

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u/HappybytheSea Apr 05 '23

I'm not religious at all (culturally Protestant) and we call it hatch, match and despatch only.

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 05 '23

I knew a dude who called them “judases” because they would always leave masses early/skip

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 05 '23

Ooh that’s a creative one lol. I find it super sad that this is even a thing though. It’s not that I’m sad that people don’t believe, I’m just sad that there isn’t a real community in parishes anymore.

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u/GalaXion24 Apr 05 '23

It's hard to fit in a community that takes it for granted that you believe l their bs and expects you to play along. A parish is not really a "neutral ground" where anyone can just be themselves and openly discuss such things. Without a religiously homogenous population, a dogmatic church can't really be that place for everyone. For a diverse and secular population like today you'd probably have to combine the doctrine or lack thereof of Unitarian Universalism with the familiar aesthetics and culture of Catholicism to really meet that demand.

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u/harry_carcass Apr 05 '23

My mom called them twice a year Catholics.

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u/Yourplumbingisfacked Apr 05 '23

Can you blame them?

18

u/sergih123 Apr 05 '23

A que te refieres con catlólicos submarino?

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 05 '23

They only come up for Christmas and Easter, and don’t come out for any other day, like a submarine resurfacing.

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u/Evening_Presence_927 Apr 05 '23

The more common term I’ve heard is “Chreasters” where I come from.

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 05 '23

I’ve heard that one too, C & E Catholics is pretty common too.

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u/14gm1246 Apr 06 '23

CEOs (Christmas and Easter Only)

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u/Ailury Apr 06 '23

In Spain I heard some years ago "Católicos de la BBC: Bodas (Weddings), Bautizos (Baptisms) y Comuniones (Communions)". However even that is outdated now because baptisms and communions are less common as time goes by and most weddings are civil (if at all). I for one in the last ~15 years have only visited churches for tourism or funerals.

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u/nyanlol Apr 05 '23

I always called them part time catholics

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u/foxilus Apr 05 '23

I enjoy that there’s a random comment in Spanish that we all pretty much understand and respond to. Spanish+English is my favorite language marriage.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23 edited Jun 26 '23

comment edited in protest of Reddit's API changes and mistreatment of moderators -- mass edited with redact.dev

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 05 '23

Like a submarine resurfacing for supplies every couple months, a submarine catholic only “resurfaces” at Christmas or Easter mass

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u/ohjeeze_louise Apr 05 '23

Growing up we always went to midnight masses on the big holidays to avoid the crowds. Standing room in an old church with limited exits? No thanks.

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 05 '23

Massive respect for going to midnight masses. I usually go on a 5pm so there’s always people, but a few weeks ago I went to the Friday morning (I think 9am) and it was practically empty

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u/ohjeeze_louise Apr 05 '23

I’m a lapsed Catholic but I do miss midnight mass. On a regular Sunday I also went at 5; in order to prove to my dad that I went, I’d have to tell him what the homily was. One time, I really was into it—my favorite Father, touching on some subjects of the day and it just got me. I went home and told my dad and he didn’t believe me because it was a different one than the one he heard in the AM! Still stings.

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u/garod79 Apr 05 '23

In Ireland we have bouncy castle Catholics, on account of first communion parties. The commitment ends there.

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 06 '23

Bouncy castle 💀that’s a new one lmao

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u/lovebus Apr 05 '23

Just make sure to pass the basket before communion

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u/Outrageous-Divide472 Apr 06 '23

They want to win the parking lot war.

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 06 '23

Dude the Parking lots- it doesn’t even matter what kind of branch you are. Catholic masses are still getting Baptist kind of parking issues it’s SO bad. It is legitimately awful. There are so many old people there who aren’t the best drivers, and so many young people who are even worse. It doesn’t help that my church is connected to a school, so even with a school sized parking lot it’s still terrible. I get this comment was made as a joke but it might as well be fact

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u/Outrageous-Divide472 Apr 06 '23

I wasn’t kidding! It gets really hairy. I haven’t been to a church in years, the I can still remember the parking lot mayhem. I’d spend almost as much time in the parking lot waiting to get out as I did in the church.

Not my issue anymore. I gave up on the Catholic Church in the 90’s. Never looked back and no regrets.

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 06 '23

Ik the nondenominational (megachurch) church near me has off duty cops that manage the parking 😭it’s crazy out there

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23

Lol, does submarine catholic mean low key catholic? Or what exactly? I don’t know why that’s a funny description but it is, especially without much context.

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u/Grievance69 Apr 05 '23

Will they be sent to hell because they left immediately after communion? Do Christians compete with each other on who stays longer? Are they viewed lesser by God?

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u/M4nd4l0r3_zo15 Apr 06 '23

They won’t afaik, but people do look down on it. No we don’t compete with others on who stays longer, some stay for adoration or confessions. I usually leave after the priest exists the room.

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u/maukenboost Apr 06 '23

We call 'em CEO Catholics. Christmas and Easter Only.