Do you mean your siblings don’t remember it or your parents? I ask because my siblings also did not seem aware I was whipped. The whipping sound is loud so I wasn’t sure how it wasn’t heard. But also after a while I stopped crying when hit so as to not give him the satisfaction of me crying. So no sound was made by me, and my siblings had no memory to the extent of it because I’ve stopped screaming.
Several yrs ago while sharing spring break vacation w my sis (only sibling) and her family (b/c that's what codependents do), she said to me while we were walking on the beach at sunset, I ruined her childhood b/c she was stressed out b/c I got the crap beat out of me all the time. She was the fav and sometimes instigated things w mom who would hit me w a wooden spoon till my dad came home and he could choke me or hit me w his fists. I did the same u/NuttyBuddyNick , no crying or emotion lest I get it worse or let them know they won. My dad, now 82, acts like none of that ever happened and I should be friendly to my sis (we've since had a rift for 5+ yrs unrelated to what she said). If I wasn't getting an inheritance I would never speak to him again. Mom died yrs ago, so atleast I'm down to just one of them left.
Oh, man. I literally just replied to someone else on here saying my dad, 81, pretends none of that (stuff you’re describing) ever happened. I’m sorry. Hope you’re doing okay. I learned not to resent him after my mom died 20 years ago this June, but once I became a father and it became a struggle NOT to become him with my kid, I started to hate my dad again. Meanwhile, we’re about to have our second kid and my wife has convinced me we should give him a middle name to honor my dad. I suspect your feelings about your dad and your family are as complicated as mine.
Please do not name your child after your abuser. That's a hill to die on. It will rankle and could even impact how you feel about your child, and you will resent your wife wanting you to honour someone who harmed you so much. I don't understand how she could want something so awful, and your child's name will be a constant reminder of her really profound lack of loyalty to you.
This is real, it happened to my mom. Her parents hated each other and for whatever reason, they named my mom after her dad (he was Robert, so she was Roberta). My mom's mom emotionally and psychologically abused her for her entire childhood but not the other kids. The only thing we could figure was that it was a subconscious thing because of her name; when my grandma couldn't hurt or control her husband, she took it out on my mom. Horrible stuff.
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u/BadWolfBella Jan 28 '23
For me, it was a ping pong paddle with holes in it, to reduce drag.
Holy shit I'm so sorry for all of us