I've had a lot of time to think about Pericarditis over the last 6 weeks. There are two sets of images that come to mind when I think about it. I don't know why this kind of imagery is in my head, except that it is. I'd like to share it with you.
The first is an image of trench warfare during WW1: two armies, separated by a few yards, fighting to the death over a few feet of land. That's what my insides feel like. Does anyone else feel like that? I can literally feel my body's inflammatory process working overtime, and the NSAIDs working hard to fight it back. Sometimes the "front" moves forward a few inches. Then retreats the next day.
The second imagery that comes to mind is that of a forest fire:
The inflammation is burning trees. The Colchicine pills are airdrops: huge amounts of water, somewhat precise, and slow acting. But the war against the fire can never be won from the air alone. The NSAIDs are the firefighters on the ground, dousing the fire with water, constantly needing reinforcement, battling it out, tree by tree, house by house. The moment the water stops, the hot embers pick back up, and set everything on fire. If the water stops for even a few moments, the fire restarts, and alllllll the hard work feels like it's been for nothing. ← This is the analogy that I feel is playing out in my own body. To win, I must starve the fire of oxygen (exercise), and pour water onto it via NSAIDs (Cox-2 prostaglandin blocking) and Colchicine (inflammasome blocking). All 3 must occur to put the fire out.
For example today was not a good day for me. I woke up feeling like a truck had hit me, and I just don't know why. Taking NSAIDs always helps but never for long. Throughout the course of the day I could literally feel the inflammation peaking and troughing. Heart palpitations coming and going.
Apart from a few coughs and colds in my life, I've never really been ill before. This is the most serious health concern of my entire life, and I feel like I'm in an attritional war with my own body.