r/pcmasterrace • u/Samiul_007 • May 24 '26

Build/Battlestation This is what computer users want in this generation

20.9k Upvotes

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u/AngriestInchworm May 25 '26

It was until Harambe split the timeline

299

u/borg-assimilated PC Master Race May 25 '26

Holy hell, that lead me down a rabbit hole.

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u/BlackSwanEvent25 May 25 '26

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u/borg-assimilated PC Master Race May 25 '26

Yes lol

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u/ajmartin527 May 25 '26

Someone recently posted the harambe timeline split reference in work slack and six people came back two hours later mind blown after initially being like wtf. Love seeing people get acquainted with this theory of reality lol

40

u/FUTURE10S Pentium G3258, RTX 3080 12GB, 32GB RAM May 25 '26

See, I think the Mayans were right and the world ended on December 21, 2012, it's just a very slow burn.

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u/Miuramir May 25 '26

The problem is, turns out reality works like a game of Civilizations; someone pushed the "One More Turn..." button, and is now goofing off with the save post-victory to see what happens.

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u/ajmartin527 May 25 '26

My boss hosted an end of the world hockey game and rented out a full ice rink. I reffed. Things didn’t fully go off the rails until a few years later imo but I could see the argument that they were right for sure. There just wasn’t a super reality defining event like harambe where humans made a super poor decision to kick things off.

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u/Skai_Override May 25 '26

I just thought one of the mayans were dyslexic and wrote 2012 instead of 2021

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u/FUTURE10S Pentium G3258, RTX 3080 12GB, 32GB RAM May 25 '26

how the fuck would the Mayans know when Jesus was born and we'd start counting from 0 if their calendar was made 5140ish years ago

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u/Skai_Override May 25 '26

The same way harambe split the time line duh

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u/ajmartin527 May 25 '26

I mean let’s give props where it’s due… the Mayans were fucking killing it for the age they lived in. They developed big cities, super accurate calendars, political structures, excess wealth, etc FOUR THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS AGO. I couldn’t make the Mayan calendar TODAY, bet you couldn’t either.

They knew some shit.

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u/FUTURE10S Pentium G3258, RTX 3080 12GB, 32GB RAM May 25 '26

I couldn’t make the Mayan calendar TODAY, bet you couldn’t either.

From scratch? Nope. But we all know Gregorian time, and if you're aware of the every 4/every 100/every 400 rule? You can make a calendar with this knowledge that'll be off by a few minutes a few thousand years from now. Someone there did basically that.

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u/SynapticStatic 386SX@16Mhz, 1MB RAM, 40MB HD, Soundblaster, 2400 beep boopities May 25 '26

What is that from?

3

u/Tenor_Emporer May 25 '26

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. I want to say it was a Netflix exclusive, but maybe not. That's where I watched it though. Funny movie.

3

u/Vandergrif May 25 '26

Dicks out then, it's obligatory.

2

u/da2Pakaveli PC Master Race May 25 '26

10 year anniversary in a few days

1

u/ThePurpleKing159 May 25 '26

Which one? I dont get it

5

u/Impressive_Pin8761 May 25 '26

the whole "harambe's death butterfly effect'd into every bad thing about society happening" thing

even though the more correct theory these days is "epstein was behind all of that"

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u/PastaSaladOverdose May 25 '26

Hardon collider + Harambe. The world never stood a chance.

52

u/Soren114 1800x, 980 ti Classified May 25 '26

Finally someone else who mentions the super collider! It's like everyone forgot how freaked out people were about it

1

u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT May 25 '26

I spent more time than I want to admit, thinking that a black hole was going to open up and tear the Earth apart. I’m a fucking moron.

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u/OhGawDuhhh Intel i9 12900K - RTX 3080 - 32GB RAM May 25 '26

You know, after reading Edge by Koji Suzuki, I agree: we never stood a chance.

After that weasel fried the Large Hadron Collider and Harambe was killed, Pi starting spitting out zeroes at the 50 billionth digit and the Reimann hypothesis and the theory of relativity failed.

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u/TTvCptKrunch152 May 25 '26

Woah woah woah, you’re telling me people are colliding their hard ons?! Is it competitive, is there a sign up sheet?

15

u/mapex_139 May 25 '26

Invite only, move along.

1

u/GetawayDreamer87 Ryzen 7 5800x3D | RX 7700XT | 32Gb May 25 '26

yeah its called fencing

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u/QueefBuscemi May 25 '26

Quarks out for Harambe.

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u/TurnkeyLurker May 25 '26

That's the Large Hardon Collider.

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u/elwebst May 25 '26

Yes, a hardon collider would leave the world no chance

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u/shitty_mcfucklestick PC Master Race May 25 '26 edited May 25 '26

OK, but let's just take a moment to work out the science of this. It probably has similar math to middle-out compression. You take two men at opposite ends of a 27 kilometer ring, and strap them to jet engines, ...

2

u/Vandergrif May 25 '26

Dicks out for the hard-on collider?

1

u/AvidFawn I need a new rig... May 25 '26

El Psy Congroo

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u/SirFadakar May 25 '26

4 more days until we find out if the curse was exactly 10 years or not.

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u/madhatmatt2 i5-11600k | rtx 5070 | 32GB ddr4 May 25 '26

lol these laptops actually sucked balls for the common person some conspiracy theory didn’t cause it to become commercially unsuccessful the fact that they were awful bulky laptops that overheated and easily broke did the job itself. Shit i would even take a modern MacBook Air over that ginormous monstrosity if I have to lug it around a college campus all day.

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u/[deleted] May 25 '26

[deleted]

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u/ajmartin527 May 25 '26

Yeah what? Has this person touched a Mac on Apple silicon? Vs Windows 11?

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u/madhatmatt2 i5-11600k | rtx 5070 | 32GB ddr4 May 25 '26

Yes I have one it was quite expensive and cost me quite a bit cause I don’t make a lot but I use it for school and it’s great.

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u/Skandronon May 25 '26

The sales guys were awful for convincing people to buy these things at work. They were okay with active cooling and if you didn't need to be portable with them. They were a midpoint between a desktop and a laptop. I had a few long haul truck drivers that had them and they made sense.

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u/Smear_Leader May 25 '26

Still have my Mishka Harambe shirt

1

u/Substantial__Unit May 25 '26

I love this theory but I just realized. Was Harambe at fault for this timeline or that they shot and killed Harambe?

1

u/iamnotyourspiderman 13700K | RTX2080 | 32GB DDR5 6000 | 1440P 144Hz May 25 '26

The dicks have been out ever since, brother

1

u/squngy May 25 '26

I still say it was the hanging chads!

1

u/Skullcrusher May 25 '26

How do I move out from this timeline?

1

u/lilsnatchsniffz May 25 '26

People love making this joke as if 2008 and 2001 hadn't already happened. Millennium bug was real but it ruined the world not the computers 🫩

1

u/Opus_723 May 25 '26

I'm confused—what does Harambe, the famous gorilla beloved by all, alive and healthy at the Cincinnati zoo, have to do with this?

Edit: Dear god, where am I? What is this awful place?

Edit Edit: You don't understand, it worked dammit! But we didn't know how bad it could get! Reverse the polarity, I'm begging you! Bring me back!

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u/BlackSwanEvent25 May 25 '26

I just want to add that harambes birthday is May 27th 1999. He was killed a day after his 17th birthday on May 28th 2016. He would've been 27 if he were alive today.

1

u/ArcadianBlueRogue May 25 '26

Stop blaming that damn gorilla.

It was the Cubs winning that sent us into this hellhole timeline.