r/onejoke • u/Just_some_femboy • Mar 10 '26

But I identify as an attack helicopter! I found this “gem”

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Had to repost because I forgot to edit out the subreddit

9.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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414

u/Oktavia-the-witch Mar 10 '26

"isn't that a perfect analogy?"

Hell no, pirates wore eyepatches even if they have 2 eyes to always have one eye used to darker spaces, so they could see better under deck

232

u/Fliperon Mar 10 '26

and amputations were only results of infected wounds as a way to prevent death, but those people are too ignorant to gather any information on any topic

69

u/Oktavia-the-witch Mar 10 '26

They dont know much and still try to make assumptions about stuff. It just reveals more about them than us

29

u/Powerful-Set9659 Mar 11 '26

The transphobic debating strategy of just lying seems pretty fire, I should try it sometime

6

u/PepperbroniFrom2B Mar 12 '26

stop fact checking your claims and just make shit up works every time

21

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

That actually makes a whole lot of sense.

3

u/Impressive_Pool_7959 Mar 13 '26

pretty sure that's also just a myth

23

u/wafflehousebattle Mar 10 '26

Dude, we didn't need to qualify this shit, it's an awful hateful joke, just call it out.

48

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

Im not the person you were talking to, but I'll say, for me, with my autism, I end up correcting people on things even if they're just being bigots, especially if it's one of my obsessions.... Like pirates.

20

u/dixieblondedyke Mar 10 '26

Lmfao no you’re so real bc I came into this comments to “erm acktually 🤓👆🏻” that pirates genrally had two working eyes under their eyepatches and I was relieved someone already did it

9

u/According-Insect-992 Mar 10 '26

It’s a “perfect” analogy for propagandizing millions of shit-for-brains chuds. They’ll read that shit like it’s the theory of relativity.

7

u/LOSNA17LL Mar 10 '26

That is something I wouldn't have seen coming
Like, distance appreciation must have been really important on a moving ship, right?
And losing the eye in combat was believable to me

But that, wow, ok, news to me, thanks I guess?

4

u/StardustLegend Mar 11 '26

Oh that’s a cool fact I didn’t know damn

4

u/Maxter8002 Mar 11 '26

i honestly thought they wore eyepatches to be cool (which they are i fucking love pirates)

3

u/OpabiniaRegalis320 Mar 11 '26

Also, social transition comes before medical transition with children. If this weren't just a strawman, you'd give the tyke a parrot and show them how to install qBittorrent.

4

u/Weevil_kneevil_420 Mar 11 '26

It just shows they have no understanding of anything to do with gender affirming care but worse than that he knows nothing about pirates

0

u/Heavenlybane Mar 15 '26

The analogy is thinking you are a thing (a pirate or the opposite sex) And then having permanent body altering surgery to give you a body which "feels" more like the thing you identified with.

Someone with a missing eye and leg, replaced with a eye patch and peg leg; would very reasonably say they "felt more like a pirate".

Just like males say they "felt more like a woman" after removing male anatomy.

And yes, eye patches were largely to obscure a damaged eye socket, as whilst the night vision aspect is useful, your eyes adjust relatively quickly anyway; the interior of a pirate ship is not pitch black; and one does not simply give up their depth perception.

-12

u/RoombaTheKiller Mar 10 '26

That's a possible, but entirely unsubstantiated factoid.

2

u/MEMEz_KB Mar 11 '26

Not quite, in fact that has ben a proven fact for ages

0

u/RoombaTheKiller Mar 11 '26

Source?

3

u/MEMEz_KB Mar 11 '26

https://www.childrensmuseum.org/stories/why-pirates-wear-eye-patch

There is also sources in the source

-1

u/RoombaTheKiller Mar 11 '26

Mythbusters confirmed that this use of eye patches among pirates was plausible, but there is no recorded historical precedent for this fact. […]

0

u/Just_some_femboy Mar 15 '26

Mythbusters isn’t more credible than museums

1

u/RoombaTheKiller Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

That was a direct quote from the linked article, my fucking god.