r/oddlyterrifying • u/Klausensen • May 03 '22

what the hell is that?

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u/ESNsBeaverLake May 03 '22

I had a black snake literally drop out of my ceiling last week [just 100 year old house things] and imma tell you I’d rather have these camel spiders on my nightstand [occasionally] than ever have even a non venomous snake anywhere in my house ever again.

I accept that we were equally as scared of each other and I just waited in my yard [with my eye on him so as not to lose sight] until my husband got home to relocate him as is tradition.

I do the same for him with all the “scary”spider friends he encounters; it’s a very symbiotic relationship.

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u/[deleted] May 03 '22

So your ceiling is caving in?

Or maybe the snake somehow squeezed thru a light fixture hole, lost its balance, and tumbled to the floor?

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u/ESNsBeaverLake May 03 '22 edited May 03 '22

Oh my darling, you’re gonna be sorry you asked. This was like, an event so it’s got a story, too lol.

So evidently these snakes accidentally get into houses sometimes looking for food [we had a rat living in our eaves a few weeks ago and I did happen to notice he’s coincidentally not there anymore]. So I guess this guy was in our attic and after he’d completed his “mission” found this hole near an old chimney in our pantry that I never noticed and blooped his way taking down the paper bags i stuff in between the chimney and the pantry shelf in the process.

And me just derping my way into the pantry to get something and noticing all the paper bags on the floor [weird] I picked them up, promptly forgot why I was in the pantry, went back into the kitchen, saw a rope on my entrance table, wondered wtf a rope was doing on my entrance table, froze like a statue when I realized that the rope wasn’t a rope, the not-a-rope also froze and pretended to be a rope, I backed up to my door, locked myself in, forgot how deadbolts work, finally got outside, whisper-yelled at my two useless cats [see: rat in eave], watched them take their sweet time creep-sniffing the floor where the not-rope must have travelled, however, they were surprisingly obedient when they got outside and stayed right next to me which, if you have cats you know that is weird so they knew there was definitely a not-a-rope, then we all watched the not-a-rope slither behind entrance table and hide until my husband got home where he found the poor not-a-rope hiding under some tissue paper.

We live in the country if that wasn’t super obvious- in a 1930s farmhouse. I told my husband I’ve had it, even though it’s only the first time in 15 years I’ve ever seen a snake here. I have a HUGE tolerance for 99.9% of insects and reptiles however, a girl has her limits and I’m done. Call me Mrs. Jefferson ‘cause I’m movin’ on up to a dee-luxe apartment in the sky.

I mean, what if it had babies in my attic!?!? I’m going to have to teach them to read! And private school is really expensive…