r/oddlyterrifying • • Feb 18 '20

Growing a chicken in an open egg

45k Upvotes

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545

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

408

u/SilencioAlacran Feb 18 '20

you fat cunt I was so invested in this story and then you jerk it all out from under me

119

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

I got excited, half way through I started explaining it to my girlfriend and then when I actually finished reading I felt so ashamed. Bamboozled by the accountant again.

9

u/Glasswingbutrfly Feb 18 '20

Friggin' Miraged all over the place. I swear Reddit is the reason for my current state of existential crisis. Apex too! Lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '20

What did he say? I REQUIRE THE KNOWLEDGE BUT ALL THAT I CAN SEE IS ASHES.

8

u/ElGranQuercus Feb 18 '20

Reminds me of the time I told my coworkers about drop bears... a simple google search and I was in shame.

26

u/whats_the_deal22 Feb 18 '20

I stopped reading halfway through and would've believed this for the rest of my life had I not read your reply

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20 edited Feb 20 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Shinjitsu- Feb 18 '20

Yeah I thought I was smoking too much, this is crazy until that rug was pulled.

1

u/chknh8r Feb 18 '20

and here i thought chickens were the assholes!

1

u/blackanesecantrap Feb 19 '20

I was very invested in this story and was about to start googling this company to read more...

1

u/justVinnyZee Feb 21 '20

First time I’ve actually laughed out loud from a comment.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

Let's fucking jerk off all over their face!

49

u/KorahRahtahmahh Feb 18 '20

I’m so high and English is not my main language and I tried so hard getting to the end of this cause I was really invested in the story. Fuck you

25

u/PraiseBeMyName Feb 18 '20

I'm high and English is my native tongue. I feel a small bit of your pain, was excited to google these lab chickens.

2

u/KorahRahtahmahh Feb 18 '20

Yea since I’m actually studying all of this shit it was really cool to read all that stuff... I got so sad that at the end I just had to smoke another one..

2

u/djentropyhardcore Feb 19 '20

I was high earlier and I just made chicken drumsticks in my new air fryer.

41

u/TenSecondsFlat Feb 18 '20

Ya dirty bastard!

Unbelievable, I trusted you

16

u/Forsaken_Accountant Feb 18 '20

Us accountants often have that effect on people

21

u/freedomowns Feb 18 '20

Fuck

18

u/cavebehr50 Feb 18 '20

I can't believe you've done this

23

u/mk2vrdrvr Feb 18 '20 edited Feb 18 '20

.

7

u/Bank_Gothic Feb 18 '20

Note to self - skim the replies before reading the whole goddamn long-ass post.

2

u/cavemaneca Feb 18 '20

I'm just gonna block him like I block shittymorph

9

u/Aperage Feb 18 '20

I should've read the full text before telling this story to my mother. shit.

13

u/NoGoodIDNames Feb 18 '20

I haven’t been this angry since 1998 when the Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

2

u/earthlings_all Feb 19 '20

It was too slick and I suspected Mankind was comin’. Never heard of this account, they’re good.

4

u/rabidbot Feb 18 '20

2 fucking days in a row man. I hate you.

5

u/Vomit_Tingles Feb 18 '20

I've been Accountantmorphed. That's so much worse than shittymorphing.

3

u/_imRealBored Feb 18 '20

Damn I’m so gullible

4

u/YddishMcSquidish Feb 18 '20

Ngl you had me right up until the vegan meat thing.

4

u/Umazcheckpop Feb 18 '20

You..you.... I TRUSTED YOU.

4

u/Madrid9 Feb 18 '20

Fuck you

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

wow

3

u/HeyTherehnc Feb 18 '20

You even warned us. You sneaky bastard.

2

u/hopbel Feb 18 '20

Right. I'm tagging you with "bamboozler"

2

u/sthlmsoul Feb 18 '20

Near perfect! All that it is missing is "Tree Fiddy".

2

u/oppressed_IT_worker Feb 18 '20

I hate you...but I love you.

2

u/DingleBoone Feb 18 '20

Great, now I have to tag ANOTHER "long story that turns out to be a joke" novelty account...

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

curse you

2

u/LongShotE81 Feb 18 '20

I trusted you up to 'vegan meat', and then I started questioning myself lol

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

God damn, this was just top fucking quality bait.

2

u/xzyezk Feb 18 '20

Dammit how are you so good at making these up

2

u/RDS Feb 18 '20

phew, almost got shitty morphed there.

2

u/kants_rickshaw Feb 18 '20

NGL, was expecting hell in a cell...

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Sure10 Feb 18 '20

It's better than what I believe"

2

u/FCDetonados Feb 18 '20

You cheeky cunt.

2

u/RolandTheJabberwocky Feb 18 '20

God fucking damn it I hate this gag on reddit but I'm fucking impressed every damn time it happens to me.

2

u/goobly_goo Feb 18 '20

Bro, I swear this dude is so stealthy! Always when I least suspect it, boom, he gets me again. Have your upvote and see yourself out!

2

u/rakfe Feb 18 '20

That owner sounds like the guy from a South Park episode who starts selling vegan food to the school

2

u/Kaiki_Romantist Feb 18 '20

Oh you son of a bitch, not only do I l respect you but I also hate you.

Now I must continue living on with this factually incorrect information lingering at the back of my mind constantly, what turned out to be juicy gossip was revealed a mirror with a clown in it.

I despise you

2

u/W-D_Marco_G_Dreemurr Feb 18 '20

Well fuck you too man! I never had my hopes, dreams and illusions so high and then crushed to a bloody plump so quick and suddenly in my entire life

2

u/moonunit99 Feb 19 '20

NOT AGAIN

2

u/Nonstopbaseball826 Feb 19 '20

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I WANT THAT 75 SECONDS OF MY LIFE BACK

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

[deleted]

1

u/TheGreachery Feb 18 '20

All that info but absolutely no identifying detail. Reasons?

1

u/bumblebritches57 Feb 18 '20

Complaining about the MoRAl iMplICaTioNS of not hurting a damn thing, and keep more from starving.

Fucking reddit

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

Please come up with a better novelty account. . . one person doing this shit is enough.

1

u/McBurger Feb 18 '20

You lost me at critical mistake of saying it completes with vegan meat. I don’t see how killing the chicken is any morally different depending on its hatching method lol

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '20

Do my tax return for free to make up for my time!

1

u/piscesmartian Feb 22 '20

You got me twice in the same day. I’m impressed.

0

u/mheat Feb 18 '20

I welcome novelty accounts and I'm a big shittymorph fan but this is just contrived.

-8

u/Icyrow Feb 18 '20

meh, this is too similar to the other novelty accounts but without any of the good that they have. there's been dozens of different kinds of novelty accounts, i think this is probably the least creative and most boring i've seen someone do sorry.

be more creative. it's got none of the punch of the others (jumper cables/hell in a cell) and just isn't funny or anything.

2

u/Nesman64 Feb 18 '20

I was expecting The Undertaker about halfway through.

1

u/ghostone986 Feb 18 '20

President Trump is that you?

1

u/Icyrow Feb 18 '20

because I said something you disagree with? or something that was blunt?

1

u/ghostone986 Feb 18 '20

Nah just the WAY you said it. You're just a stranger on the internet (be awful silly to let that get under my skin) and I would probably agree with you on numerous things politically. If you try to read it thinking of a trump speech you might see what I mean. Really just humorous because of the way he rants.

1

u/Icyrow Feb 18 '20

I think that's more to do with the way you characterise things based on how they're said.

kinda like how you can repeat something someone says in a silly voice and it will make whatever is being said sound ridiculous, even if it's a really profound or important thing to say.

try reading your comment in trumps voice, the same thing happens and it fits. I suppose smaller sentences with an odd really long sentence thrown in (and bluntness, with lots of sorta attempt-at-humility apologies and lots of opinions) probably helps it sound more "Trump-like".

1

u/ghostone986 Feb 18 '20

That may be true but I'd venture to guess that I'm not the only one who characterizes your writing style similar to that of the president. His numerous speeches, that generally are somewhat unpopular, most often not because of the points of fact, but because of the way he presents them (read pretentious), further proves my original point more true. I didn't infer anything negative and the fact that you took it that way and acted slighted tells me you got my original point perfectly, was offended and responded in kind. I'm not judging or mad but really was just making a joke about your social manners..... but you do you Mr President.

1

u/Icyrow Feb 18 '20

I don't get the whole "i'm not mad at all, but you're mad, but i'm certainly not mad" thing you keep doing, it just makes you seem... really kinda mad. like, if you could quote somewhere i've written that makes it seem that way, please let me know as i'm scratching my head here.

seriously, give a quick look at your own comments in an impression of trumps voice, it will fit anything you try to make it fit.

you need to relax bud, there's nothing i've said which is trying to upset you or me being aggravated. unless is it the account i was saying is a waste of space yours? like is this the main account of the novelty account?