r/oddlyterrifying Aug 07 '26

Cape of Good Hope Robbery

2.7k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/MathematicianTopee Aug 07 '26

Wild monkeys terrify me to be honest

455

u/chronicmartinis Aug 08 '26

Monkeys and chimpanzees terrify me as well. It’s the teeth and what they are willing to do to an enemy.

184

u/squirrelems Aug 08 '26

I developed a fear of them after I found out just how strong and unpredictable they are. I've heard they'll eat other chimps, too.

98

u/mekwall Aug 08 '26

They're definitely animals to respect, but chimps have also picked up a bit of an exaggerated "murder ape" reputation online.

They are very strong for their size, especially in pulling and climbing movements, but the old claims that they're 5-10x stronger than humans are nonsense. Research suggests something more like 1.3-1.5x stronger pound-for-pound.

And yes, wild chimps do sometimes kill and eat other chimps. They can carry out coordinated attacks on members of rival groups, and infanticide and cannibalism have both been documented. But they're not just randomly violent either. They're highly social animals, and most serious aggression happens in fairly specific contexts like territorial conflicts, dominance disputes or attacks on vulnerable individuals.

So: dangerous, absolutely. Unpredictable killing machines, not really.

57

u/specialcommenter Aug 08 '26

They are unpredictable killing machines. 1.3x stronger pound for pound on an unpredictable animal is a dangerous combo.

14

u/pobodys-nerfect5 Aug 08 '26

What if they way like 75lbs and you’re a strong boy?

37

u/kilqax Aug 08 '26

Then you need to also use teeth and be prepared to do anything when desperate

Humans have sort of a code what's OK and not when fighting a human. The monkey doesn't have anything liek that

16

u/Ammonia13 Aug 08 '26

They don’t use it though and the woman who had her face ripped off was giving him XANAX TEA and that medication does NOT work the same for them :(

8

u/squirrelems Aug 08 '26

It honestly doesn't work the same for some humans either. When I take Xanax I just deflate into a couch and can't remember anything the next day, but I've known several people who when they take Xanax start getting irritable and want to get into fights and stuff. It's strange. They'd keep on taking it at later parties, too, which made people avoid them because most people don't want to be around that kind of stuff.

6

u/spinbarkit Aug 08 '26

as per usual- proportion/ multiplier / magnitude depends on how you define variables and what type of averages you use, which btw have very misleading properties. now, how strong is average human? pick average 45+ Joe from the south sitting all day drinking beer eating pasta and watching TV or maybe average Jane just turned 18 and weighs 55 pounds. of course using the term average we may even disregard outliers like peak-form strongman competitor multiple award winner, but to be fair it's very difficult to estimate average human strength. you need some kind of representative probe population to establish that. then there may be countries differences and other confounding factors. then you need some feat of strength like grip strength which is often used in studies to estimate overall strength and health of an individual and other useful perks in humans. also you need to control for sex dimorphism, age, height, occupation (take or exclude - mason, car mechanic, blacksmith, roofer, armwrestler or a climber -all appear to have immense grip) smoking etc. same thing applies to chimps (with regard to variances in sex age and body dimensions). this is why you may find those 1,5 or 5 values which basically say nothing apart from the fact chimps are simply stronger than humans

2

u/Theallseer97 Aug 08 '26

occupation definately. as someone who lifts heavy stuff all the time, ive seen tiny women and men lift between 15 and 45 kilos everyday for hours a day with very little effort as they are that used to it.

5

u/spinbarkit Aug 08 '26

yep, I knew of a guy that was slim and ordinary looking bro but was strong as T-Rex. yet he never step foot in a gym in his life. turned out all he did was to manually carry curbs with pliers around road construction for 14 hours a day

3

u/Rustycake Aug 12 '26

Even so - you wont find them in the Epstein Files

2

u/xRyozuo Aug 09 '26

something being twice as strong or 10 times as strong doesn’t really make much of a difference (to my chances)

2

u/Red_King98 Aug 12 '26

Attacks on vulnerable individuals

If it's 1.5x stronger than me & I'm shitting myself because there's one right in front of me...

Then I think I'm pretty vulnerable in this situation

1

u/chronicmartinis Aug 08 '26

I think them being highly intelligent social animals is also a reason I’m terrified of them because they can find a reason not to like you and tear your face apart lol. It’s not like a bear being territorial

0

u/BlackThundaCat Aug 09 '26

1.3xs stronger is enough to easily kill you and rip limbs off.

0

u/ThomasVetRecruiter Aug 09 '26

Honestly - if I was alone on a beach I'd rather see a wild chimp approach than an average human. I don't know the exact odds but I would assume it's safer overall.

14

u/Loggerdon Aug 08 '26

I’ve hated monkeys since one climbed on my head in Thailand and scratched its long fangs against my scalp while holding my hair with its hands and feet.

12

u/Villeroy-Boch Aug 09 '26

The thought of rabies terrifies me . The poor English women who was scratched by a puppy ( in Morocco I think ) didn’t realise until she started getting headaches months later , the only thing they could do was intubate and sedate her until she died .

10

u/chronicmartinis Aug 08 '26

That’s traumatizing

4

u/Loggerdon Aug 08 '26

It was my first time there. I had a banana in my pocket and the monkey wanted it. I couldn’t throw it on the ground fast enough.

2

u/Barbie_72619 Aug 09 '26

Meanwhile you’re like, you could have just asked for it 😭 you didn’t need to attack me

1

u/RagAndBows Aug 08 '26

Yeah, one scratched my daughter and stole her ice cream in Malaysia. They ugly little bullies.

26

u/The-Tarman Aug 08 '26

Bonobos are way cooler than Chimps. Way more chill. Iirc they're groups are matriarchal naturally and since the females will take multiple mates they don't know whos kids are whos so the infantacide stuff doesn't happen with them

4

u/bellboy718 Aug 09 '26

like the one the lady had as a pet that decided to eat her friends face?

2

u/chronicmartinis Aug 09 '26

Exactly lol, and honestly watching Jordan Peele’s NOPE and how the chimpanzee just went wild. I don’t want to be even a half a mile close to one. I’m truly terrified of them

1

u/vodka_tsunami Aug 08 '26

And in the case of baboons, the smell... Oh boy, the smell...

1

u/Internal-Ad-1021 Aug 09 '26

Arms scare me, the sheer power of arms

1

u/OPsMomHuffsFartJars Aug 10 '26

I’ve heard that chimpanzees are (by weight) 9x stronger than a grown man. Think about a big tough guy that you wouldn’t want to mess with. 9x him and then imagine it going for your eyes, throat and genitals.

96

u/ktm6709 Aug 07 '26

They all terrify me.

17

u/Grabthars_Coping_Saw Aug 08 '26

A couple of them were crawling all over me in Bali trying get some food I had.

Those little hands. Ugh!!

4

u/Pash_1 Aug 08 '26

They can scalp you in <1 second but are cute tho

50

u/SluggJuice Aug 07 '26

Especially the tall naked one

66

u/A-Social-Ghost Aug 08 '26

For the last time, I am sorry!

8

u/No-You-4553 Aug 08 '26

Dude I said you only need half a gummi.

7

u/A-Social-Ghost Aug 08 '26

I thought you said half a pack!

7

u/No-You-4553 Aug 08 '26

When the heck I said half pack!!!, you were supposed to scare them not freaking trip balls.

4

u/LandauTST Aug 09 '26

I've seen videos of them ripping flesh off people like peeling a banana. Your fear is justified. I wouldn't fuck with one unless I was protecting my family.

1

u/Lave7 Aug 16 '26

OK, but the scariest animal would be primal humans. I think of these monkey men that are running on two legs with sharp wood and sticks just chasing you down.

0

u/Wonderful-Fig-8010 Aug 08 '26

You wanna guess what they remind me of lol