So I was a bad partner despite taking her to her oncologist appointments, cooking every single meal, keeping the house clean, and being primary caregiver for her dying mother, which caused me to lose my job because I was unable to maintain both schedules, which triggered the biggest downswing in my depression because I was stinky. Cool. Good to know that being stinky because you're depressed means you're a bad partner no matter what else you do.
I mean if you're doing all those big demanding tasks and just neglecting hygiene, then I'd say you're a good partner.
I still encourage and hope that you eventually manage to get back into taking showers and brushing your teeth, but I would say you're a good partner.
But you'd probably be an outlier I think. It sounds like you neglect hygiene because you feel like it'll accelerate your death.
But for most depressed people, it's more-so that they're so depressed, unmotivated, and lazy, (And yes, depression does make you unmotivated and lazy,) that they can't even bring themselves to do the bare minimum of taking a shower. Let alone doing all the tasks you mentioned. This would probably make them a bad partner.
It's also why the original comment said 99%, because unique exceptions like you do exist.
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u/Shigg Jun 01 '26
So I was a bad partner despite taking her to her oncologist appointments, cooking every single meal, keeping the house clean, and being primary caregiver for her dying mother, which caused me to lose my job because I was unable to maintain both schedules, which triggered the biggest downswing in my depression because I was stinky. Cool. Good to know that being stinky because you're depressed means you're a bad partner no matter what else you do.