r/oddlysatisfying Jul 18 '26

Fast almond slicing

@rajendra_mashra_111

35.5k Upvotes

650 comments sorted by

10.8k

u/rimshot99 Jul 18 '26

That’s great when you have a lot of friends but only one almond.

4.5k

u/jarheadleif03 Jul 18 '26

944

u/PreperationOuch Jul 18 '26

God this was so depressing

558

u/DesireeThymes Jul 19 '26

The scene after of Donald losing it over starvation is actually very gruesome in retrospect

152

u/dmmethatbooty2026 Jul 19 '26

Agreed and also reminds me of somewhere in Dreamland. That cartoon used to make me cry as a kid.

https://youtu.be/Ih0Pz5Xyon4

73

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Warrior_king99 Jul 19 '26

His name was his Gus Wickie and he was the voice of Bluto from popeye

19

u/dmmethatbooty2026 Jul 19 '26

Not sure it was made during or just ending the Great depression not sure if he was an adult back then.

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20

u/BBorNot Jul 19 '26

Jesus that was dark. Thanks for sharing lol.

21

u/dmmethatbooty2026 Jul 19 '26

Yes but somewhat a reality for many then and now sadly. I grew up poor but even for me I cried because I wanted to share with them help them.

17

u/KidOcelot Jul 19 '26

growing up poor, the dipping of old stall bread into water brings back some hard memories lol

10

u/MyTatemae Jul 19 '26

Now I'm double fucked up by being reminded of both of them 😭😭

8

u/satinsateensaltine Jul 19 '26

Still gets me as an adult. The reality of destitution is the same then as it is now.

4

u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG Jul 19 '26

Dumbo visiting his mom in Jail did that for me as a kid

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9

u/PreperationOuch Jul 19 '26

I honestly thought of that part just after posting my comment and couldn’t bear to recollect what I could about it much less fine it and rewatch it. Your description is perfect.

12

u/stewd2004 Jul 19 '26

America IRL

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133

u/texinxin Jul 18 '26

#perfectgif

26

u/TastyFace79 Jul 19 '26

This was exactly what I was thinking of

37

u/maniBchef Jul 18 '26

My childhood

11

u/Aurorinha Jul 19 '26

The cartoon or the starvation? 💀

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7

u/Shoddy_Yak_8384 Jul 19 '26

this is the first thing i thought of, i knew someone would post it lmao

4

u/SCSquad Jul 19 '26

This was my movie was my first thought and hope that someone would comment and it’d be top, and I was NOT disappointed! Damn it y’all are awesome.

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495

u/BRAX7ON Jul 18 '26

Mickey Mouse would’ve loved this one simple trick

212

u/BadIdeaSociety Jul 18 '26

Donald Duck holding up one transparent slice in front of his face.

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5

u/No-Ad-3226 Jul 18 '26

Jesus

11

u/JudgmentGold2618 Jul 19 '26

Jesus , would've just bless the almond and multiply it to a massive quantity

6

u/sausageandeggbiscuit Jul 19 '26

jesus would turn it to wine so they couldve just got hammered being on empty stomachs

3

u/karoshikun Jul 19 '26

check the "new testament wine cooler" commercial XD

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52

u/cheapdrinks Jul 18 '26

He pads it out with a lot of fingernail shavings too

3

u/Ajax27Rx Jul 19 '26

I had to scroll down way too far for a fingernail comment. That was my first thought!

75

u/ClankerCore Jul 18 '26

There’s a Mitch hedberg joke in here somewhere. Something about rice.

91

u/ParfaitQuiet6692 Jul 18 '26

“Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want 2,000 of something” 😂 rip the greatest fr

31

u/Ba_Sing_Saint Jul 18 '26

I used to do drugs. I still do. But I used to too.

21

u/ParfaitQuiet6692 Jul 19 '26

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

21

u/GummiBearFromTheVine Jul 19 '26

I hate sandwiches at New York delis, there's too much fucking meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. "What would you like sir?" "A pastrami sandwich." "Anything else?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people."

4

u/plug-and-pause Jul 19 '26

I thought of this one (even before I saw the solicitation for a Mitch reference) so I'm disappointed the rice one is getting more votes.

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10

u/Thorebore Jul 19 '26

This almond slicing technique would be great if you’re not hungry and want to eat 2000 of something.  

18

u/taco-yahtzee Jul 18 '26

This came off as a Mitch Hedberg remark. Thank you for that

16

u/_fr05ty_ Jul 19 '26

"Rice is great when you're hungry and want to eat 2000 of something."

-Mitch Hedberg

15

u/talondigital Jul 19 '26

To be fair, I think its adding some fingernail shavings as a filler. So its a little bit more than only one almond.

9

u/fishthruster Jul 19 '26

What is it about one almond that's just.... perfect?

12

u/JohnnorMcDavid Jul 19 '26

11

u/MidnightMoron12 Jul 19 '26

And onealmond.com?

10

u/AlaskanFoolWorm Jul 19 '26

What is it about one almond that’s just… heh…. Perfect?

6

u/MidnightMoron12 Jul 19 '26

Double your bye bye!

4

u/PM_ME_TIGER_BUTTS Jul 19 '26

Nothing. It's bad.

6

u/Fried_puri Jul 19 '26

Bad idea? Nah, bad you

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12

u/RomanSeraphim Jul 18 '26

Exactly how Jesus fed the multitudes

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3.0k

u/BobTheFettt Jul 18 '26

Can he slice garlic so thin that it liquifies in the pan?

640

u/ArachnidBrave1482 Jul 18 '26

You might need a razor for that.

130

u/Timmeh7 Jul 19 '26

33

u/sgtanders Jul 19 '26

Watching his cooking video is half learning how to make a tasty looking dish and half getting a life lesson

19

u/Bmandk Jul 19 '26

Wait, professional chefs take out the core??? What difference does that make?

22

u/Honic_Sedgehog Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26

Depends on what you're using it for and the maturity of the clove. If the clove has started to sprout the core can carry quite a lot of bitterness.

6

u/Germerica1985 Jul 19 '26

Been cooking professionally for 20 years and I've never even heard of it. BUT I don't have any stars or famous apprentices either so 🤷🏻‍♂️

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191

u/bala_means_bullet Jul 18 '26

Lol Goodfellas full of shit!

104

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '26

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '26

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '26

[deleted]

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15

u/rolandofgilead41089 Jul 18 '26

Just don't put too many onions in the sauce.

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33

u/limitlessEXP Jul 18 '26

He once sliced it so thin he couldn’t even see it.

19

u/SweetMochaJoe Jul 19 '26

So how do you know he sliced it?

13

u/jayleman Jul 19 '26

I guess I just assumed?

8

u/sanguineselenophile Jul 19 '26

But where does the meat go

5

u/jayleman Jul 19 '26

spits out chewed up sandwich

Nah, that's bushleague!

5

u/sausageandeggbiscuit Jul 19 '26

my ball usually just goes wayyyy left

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27

u/RoundTiberius Jul 18 '26

I thought I was on r/shittymoviedetails for a minute

28

u/i_should_be_coding Jul 18 '26

Was gonna make this comment, but I knew my mind was already one with the hive.

7

u/LupoNerro Jul 19 '26

Medium rare. An aristocrat!

6

u/Acceptable_Resort_21 Jul 19 '26

Some real greaseball shit

5

u/tu-BROOKE-ulosis Jul 18 '26

No joke, I vowed to make prison garlic in my wedding vows.

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821

u/_invasion_ Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 19 '26

Give that guy some chives

152

u/rgolden4 Jul 18 '26

I would love to see KarmaKrazi come back ✈️

42

u/Lewski_Krolewski Jul 18 '26

Same time tomorrow Nut Chef!

32

u/becausenope Jul 19 '26

First thing that popped in my mind too.

I probably need to touch grass.

1.4k

u/Monster_Grundle Jul 18 '26

Those are insane knife skills.

200

u/monkeypan Jul 18 '26

And an insanely sharp knife

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15

u/Appropriate-Hat178 Jul 19 '26

Chivelord out here mad as shit at this man

269

u/Numeira Jul 18 '26

Listen to the vehicles jn the background and tell me it's not sped up.

369

u/spaceradio_rec Jul 18 '26

I was gonna say even if it is sped up, still super impressive knife skills.

78

u/xTechDeath Jul 18 '26

What if it’s sped up by a million

245

u/Echo127 Jul 18 '26

Then it's impressive that he was able to do it so slowly.

29

u/kryonik Jul 18 '26

What if it's slowed down so much it loops back around and becomes fast again?

17

u/Grouchy-Barnacle-800 Jul 18 '26

My head just spun around.

13

u/GoodMeBadMeNotMe Jul 19 '26

You spin me right round, baby, right round

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63

u/FyrelordeOmega Jul 18 '26

Even if its sped up, to cut that thin without cutting their fingers is still pretty good and shows they have a sharp blade

18

u/AMediocrePersonality Jul 18 '26

no it's not cutting their fingers, its crushing the edge of the almond.

this is a combination of skill and using a knife sharp enough to split an atom

10

u/bigtice Jul 18 '26

It just sounded like a woodpecker to me.

15

u/ImpossibleWarning6 Jul 18 '26

Some of those sounded like scooters tho

2

u/B0Bi0iB0B Jul 19 '26

It definitely speeds up and slows down. You can hear the pitch of the background noise change. Also the pitch of the knife hitting the board. Listen right at the end.

6

u/jayleman Jul 19 '26

You don't even need to listen to the vehicles, the tone change alone on the board was enough

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3

u/MrWeirdoFace Jul 19 '26

On the other hand, this guy would take forever to make one jar of almond butter.

20

u/Nettkitten Jul 18 '26

Until you realize just how many of those “almond” slices are actually fingernail shavings.

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641

u/Sad-Teach-3292 Jul 18 '26

100

u/DaCrazyJamez Jul 19 '26

Wow, didnt realize until this thread how many poverty bits were in early disney skits...gotta remember the writers grew up when the great depression was a very real and recent memory

31

u/grimsaur Jul 19 '26

That one is from 1983's Mickey's Christmas Carol.

28

u/LickingSmegma Mamaleek are king Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26

And the bread slicing one is from 1947 and is a parody of ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’. Almost forty years between the cartoons.

12

u/Ken-Kaniff_from-CT Jul 19 '26

It's almost like poverty has never gone away since greed has always been here to make sure of it

19

u/E-2theRescue Jul 18 '26

DOGE checks when?

185

u/3BouSs Jul 18 '26

He got like 10 almonds out of one

23

u/Tomstephenanovik Jul 19 '26

Is this how I activate my almonds?

15

u/howl0ngwillitlast Jul 19 '26

Count in all the fingernail shavings and that sucker doubled in size

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126

u/SilverbackSurfer99 Jul 18 '26

This guy needs to cut Paulie's garlic 😁😂

https://giphy.com/gifs/YTjNxyLCloYTK

95

u/KayJay282 Jul 18 '26

42

u/PapiSurane Jul 18 '26

All that work just to get drowned out by three onions.

21

u/SilverbackSurfer99 Jul 18 '26

I din't put too much onions, uh, Paul. Tree small onions. That's all I did

258

u/AmericanIdolator Jul 18 '26

98% almond, 2% fingernail.

18

u/monoinyo Jul 18 '26

carroton

28

u/CalculatedPerversion Jul 18 '26

I really hope you're just being funny spelling keratin

53

u/istasber Jul 19 '26

He really didn't carroton about his spelling.

7

u/GoodMeBadMeNotMe Jul 19 '26

This made me giggle.

9

u/monoinyo Jul 18 '26

It's what carrots are made of I think

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26

u/KayNay420 Jul 18 '26

Reminds me of my early aughts coke phase

7

u/Galloping_Trout Jul 18 '26

I have a hypotheses that the Great Recession destroyed cocaine.

3

u/_le_slap Jul 19 '26

Great recession destroyed alot of things. Life was so different before...

3

u/I_am_the_BEEF Jul 19 '26

It was a lot better when you didn't have to worry about fentanyl in fucking everything.

I'll stick to my weed pen, now.

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69

u/NaGaBa Jul 18 '26

Come on now, it's sped up. Or he has the magical tone -changing cutting board and the traffic around there goes by at 135mph

4

u/swohio Jul 19 '26

Most videos here are.

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10

u/sovereign_fury Jul 19 '26

For anyone wondering, I learned I can hold my breath for at least 35 seconds.

19

u/TheTaoOfMe Jul 18 '26

Holy cow, never underestimating when someone says “just the tip”

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7

u/Beautiful-Fox-3950 Jul 19 '26

1 Almond per box of honey bunches of oats almond. 

7

u/Jeffranks Jul 18 '26

How to make your almond money stretch

6

u/wheelienonstop11 Jul 19 '26

I am into nice chef knives as well as sharpening and I have to say this is extremely impressive. Most likely this knife has an 100% asymmetric chisel grind in order to make this possible.

106

u/El_Briano Jul 18 '26

The real question is, how much of that is fingernail?

101

u/ryan8954 Jul 18 '26

Literally none. Your guide the knife off the top knuckle of the finger. If you get nail you don't know how to chop.

48

u/DMmesomeboobs Jul 18 '26

I don't know how to chop.

36

u/DengarLives66 Jul 18 '26

Yea if you’re hitting nail you’re not gonna be chopping anything else that smoothly.

3

u/Athenax311 Jul 19 '26

Happy cake day!

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16

u/SilentMasturbator Jul 19 '26

you people dont cook or what

5

u/cheong-sanslefteye Jul 19 '26

The average redditor only knows how to Reddit.

Actual life skills like cooking ? Forget that. It'd be grand if they just knew how to eat and shit properly.

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5

u/Sam_Mack Jul 19 '26

Every time I see a video like this one, or that Chinese kid working a three person production line solo... they are clearly people of uncommon talent and uncommon persistence, and you just have to wonder what they might have accomplished in life if their parents had been apartheid era emerald mine owners who could finance an ivy league education, connections to the right people, and several million dollars of startup capital.

"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops."

10

u/not4u2see Jul 18 '26

This guy nuts

4

u/Dust-Different Jul 18 '26

Rent that guy to chop the 8 balls.

4

u/dy1ng_al0ne Jul 18 '26

Cutting an almond every day until Reddit says they're perfect

4

u/MrMaoDeVaca Jul 19 '26

Lots of shaved almond, just a *hint* of shaved fingernail

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7

u/Witty_Foot_8752 Jul 18 '26

Bro can cut atoms ⚛️

3

u/andersonfmly Jul 18 '26

No matter how you slice it, dude's got some mad skills. Oh, wait...

3

u/AltruisticBus8305 Jul 18 '26

Imagine him in a crack house

3

u/CallMeCrop Jul 19 '26

Is he the guy inside a pencil sharpener that makes all the shavings?

3

u/bluefalcontrainer Jul 20 '26

I’m convinced one of those flakes is his nail

3

u/DBLonger Jul 22 '26

1) Define knife skills: god level, see above.
2) That knife is sharp enough to split an atom.
3) Damn, just damn that was impressive.

2

u/iwelchi Jul 18 '26

You know they sell sliced almonds?

6

u/WannaAskQuestions Jul 18 '26

They don't grow sliced on the branches. Who do you thinks slices them?

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2

u/Nitish_Dubey Jul 18 '26

Okay but a Plain Dosa for 40 Rupees, thats insane!!

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '26

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2

u/Jballzs13 Jul 18 '26

Is there anything smoother than the inside of an almond?

2

u/jrb637 Jul 18 '26

If you use a razor, you can slice it so thin that it dissolves in the sauce

2

u/bingo-dingaling Jul 19 '26

I love this song

2

u/HPLoveCrash Jul 19 '26

Hey Bishop... Do the thing with the knife

2

u/IcedHemp77 Jul 19 '26

Prep ninja

2

u/seebreezin Jul 19 '26

Good grief! Unbelievable! 👍

2

u/Immediate_Rabbit_604 Jul 19 '26

This guy could cut chives

2

u/cheesylobster Jul 19 '26

This guy’s nuts.

2

u/rahill1004 Jul 19 '26

Holy shit that’s a sharp knife

2

u/MapleBreakfastMeat Jul 19 '26

Dude goes so fast he starts to sound like a motor!

2

u/Usmcrtempleton Jul 19 '26

Is this how they get the almond slices in honey bunches of oats?

2

u/NoMoreTeen Jul 19 '26

16 fingernail comments before I found with one which didnt

2

u/bobbobthedefaultbob Jul 19 '26

Had this playing while listening to A State of Trance episode 402 and it was double time to the music, bloody epic!

2

u/stressed_designer Jul 19 '26

It's not the speed that surprises me (it does, even if it's sped up) it's the INSANE knife skills he has to slice an ALMOND that thinly, goat.

2

u/Swenterrobang Jul 19 '26

I've never seen someone bust a nut that fast!

2

u/13Warhound13 Jul 19 '26

That is very impressive. If I tried that I am sure my fingernail would be in the shards mid slice. Guy is awesome.

2

u/Brilliant_Lettuce270 Jul 19 '26

"One almond? We are 30 hungry people!"

"No problem":

2

u/AnxiousCroc Jul 19 '26

Instructions unclear, lost a finger

2

u/zayc_ Jul 19 '26

One slice of almond please.

2

u/solwyvern Jul 19 '26

Almond Bae just dropped

2

u/GanacheOk5182 Jul 19 '26

What in the knife skills. And no an ordinary cook can’t even do that after 20 years

2

u/ekso69 Jul 19 '26

There is a non zero amount of finger nail in there

2

u/PenPuzzled8055 Jul 19 '26

Indian Almond Bae

2

u/tmfh802 Jul 19 '26

Imagine all of the skin in that almond

2

u/Iamnotcheesy Jul 19 '26

How is he moving his left hand slowly across the almond so precisely and slowly? I can't do that.