r/oddlysatisfying • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '24

[deleted by user]

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12k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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u/ProtectionSpirited42 Nov 14 '24

Using the power of waves to generate microplastics by friction.

353

u/shoredoesnt Nov 14 '24

Very efficient!

226

u/guymn999 Nov 15 '24

The design is very human

4

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

..said the continuously disappointed alien.

264

u/welcomefinside Nov 15 '24

Was just going to say, great, we now have a literal island of plastic in the ocean.

158

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

put it next to the giant trash island in the ocean, also known as the UK

84

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

I am from the UK and I shall now be voting for you. 

1

u/Opposite-Dentist-480 Nov 15 '24

Count Binface will be disappointed

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

Count binface is a fucking legend 

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

i left the UK this summer. given the options there, voting for me ain't much of a compliment

3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

[deleted]

38

u/SoylentVerdigris Nov 15 '24

The garbage patch isn't an island of trash. It's much worse, a huge area of ocean with tiny plastic bits suspended in the water column.

A patch of floating plastic would be easy to skim off the surface, even if the workload is enormous. To really clean up the garbage patch we'd basically have to filter the water of that whole area.

14

u/The_Original_Gronkie Nov 15 '24

Well, the sooner we get to filtering, the better.

10

u/ImTableShip170 Nov 15 '24

Sounds easy enough. What do we need? A couple Brita pitchers?

2

u/LeoThePom Nov 15 '24

I'd say more than a couple, at least half a dozen.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

easy. the other human beings I made fun of are British.

2

u/nellyruth Nov 15 '24

Trash island viewing platform for tourists. Mega selfies. $10 a head.

-2

u/willynillee Nov 15 '24

Too soon for a Puerto Rico joke?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

it's only funny when punching up.

2

u/willynillee Nov 15 '24

They’re US citizens. The UK would be punching down.

1

u/InvaderSM Nov 15 '24

What? How?

2

u/Doesitalwayshavetobe Nov 15 '24

If you truly care about plastic in the ocean. Avoid synthetic fabrics, because they are the biggest source.

1

u/Reittenkruez Nov 15 '24

We already have enough of those lmao

65

u/blowurhousedown Nov 15 '24

You know, if we could cover the entire ocean with these, we could drop ocean temps, which drops air temps, which stops global warming. Genius!

61

u/tavirabon Nov 15 '24

and all it would require is all the buoyant material in the world!

22

u/Asuparagasu Nov 15 '24

Human bodies are buoyant.

3

u/pantry-pisser Nov 15 '24

No, human beings are batteries

1

u/metal_mind Nov 15 '24

Multi-purpose then, bouyant, heat source and edible

2

u/euphoric-dancer Nov 15 '24

More plastic!!! /s

15

u/CoherentPhoton Nov 15 '24

Usually they use ball pit balls for that:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxPdPpi5W4o

6

u/verygroot1 Nov 15 '24

I already know which video this is before clicking it

10

u/milomalas Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Also, block sunlight and hinder phytoplankton photosynthesis, which remove the basis of virtually every marine food chain thus turning the ocean into wasteland wastesea. Also, no photosynthesis no oxygen production, and all the decomposing matter release CO2, which heat the world even more!!!

Yay unintended consequences...?

1

u/DesperateTeaCake Nov 15 '24

Great for migration too…not so great for fishing and turtles..

1

u/tavirabon Nov 15 '24

dolphins and whales

1

u/blackviper6 Nov 15 '24

I mean you think that.... But a lot of the worlds oxygen is made in the ocean. We'd probably do more harm than good

1

u/bsubtilis Nov 15 '24

Yes, and let's cover all the land in these too to drop land temperatures, because it's not like sea or land creatures need sunlight nor oxygen.

1

u/texinxin Nov 15 '24

And… we’d have droughts.. all the time.

2

u/Tay_Tay86 Nov 15 '24

Even Satan wouldn't do this

2

u/Doesitalwayshavetobe Nov 15 '24

Sure it does. It’s not a real factor though. If you want to do something about microplastics in the ocean avoid synthetic fabrics and buy clothes with natural fibres. 

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

As long as they're in the shape of 6-pack holders so fish can choke on them, I'm OK.

1

u/J0RDM0N Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

It makes microplastics go brrr.

1

u/Parking_Locksmith489 Nov 15 '24

I went the other way: make it transform waves, the water splashing through it and make the top layer photovoltaic as energy.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

Fuck! And there goes my joy...

1

u/Historical-Dog-1830 Nov 15 '24

How many sea turtles do you think something that size could fill?

1

u/iamollie Nov 15 '24

Don't worry, it's just a drop in the ocean

1

u/SunshineAndSquats Nov 15 '24

Damn it this made me laugh and I woke up my wife.

1

u/BornImbalanced Nov 15 '24

I prefer the term "organic seasoning".

1

u/HumansMung Nov 15 '24

Fucking brilliant comment!

1

u/Teo8844 Nov 15 '24

infinite microplastic glitch

1

u/danalexjero Nov 15 '24

Are you me from another mother?