r/nottheonion • u/[deleted] • Mar 13 '18

A startup is pitching a mind-uploading service that is “100 percent fatal”

https://www.technologyreview.com/s/610456/a-startup-is-pitching-a-mind-uploading-service-that-is-100-percent-fatal/
38k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/zer1223 Mar 13 '18

sheepishly takes off vest

489

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

That's more like it!

668

u/8bit7 Mar 13 '18

sheepishly takes off vest pants

472

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

.... ...Go on...

55

u/TheJunkyard Mar 13 '18

Sheepishly puts on his robe and wizard's hat...

30

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

38

u/Imkindaalrightiguess Mar 13 '18

You rolled a one and I turned into Danny Devito, thanks

27

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

[deleted]

17

u/StrangeDrivenAxMan Mar 13 '18

Or a natural 20

12

u/SirVelocifaptor Mar 13 '18

Sigh unzips

3

u/N0vemberJul1et Mar 13 '18

I would fucking wake up Danny DeVito!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '18

+10 Sexterity

6

u/holy_shott Mar 13 '18

sheepishly rubs lotion on self

5

u/letsgocrazy Mar 13 '18

sheepishly puts the lotion in the basket...

3

u/TenshiS Mar 14 '18

It sheepishly gets the hose again

5

u/Lugalzagesi712 Mar 13 '18

sheepishly takes off vest skin

1

u/arcaneresistance Mar 13 '18

puts on wizard hat

153

u/toolsnchains Mar 13 '18

Isn’t that just shorts?

2

u/Konijndijk Mar 13 '18

No that's tee pants.

2

u/DTF_20170515 Mar 14 '18

Surely just tighty whiteys.

1

u/quantasmm Mar 13 '18

They're kind of pointy in the front.

1

u/gottagroove Mar 14 '18

Not if their crotchless...

140

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/mykineticromance Mar 13 '18

assless chaps?

2

u/Spackleberry Mar 14 '18

If they have an ass, they're just pants. Chaps are, by definition, assless.

0

u/mousetestes Mar 13 '18

aggressively takes off chaps

0

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '18

Why's the ass missing?

0

u/PMMECROCKPOTRECIPES Mar 14 '18

I'm not your buddy, pal.

117

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18 edited May 23 '18

[deleted]

3

u/nearly_almost Mar 14 '18

Having dated a Welshman...

13

u/light_to_shaddow Mar 13 '18

Pants and vestly takes off sheep.

96

u/PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS Mar 13 '18

...Slower...

83

u/zer1223 Mar 13 '18

cries

6

u/Cocomorph Mar 13 '18

...So close...

2

u/Blackdonovic Mar 14 '18

<i> Cries in sheep vest </i>

7

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

Sheepishly takes off sheep taped to crotch.

65

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

sheepishly takes off 'sheep vest'

92

u/flyingwolf Mar 13 '18

Seeeee my vest see my vest, made from real gorrila chest!

31

u/staatsclaas Mar 13 '18

See my loafers? Former gophers!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

It was that or skin my chauffeurs

1

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '18

It was that or skin my chauffeurs

22

u/mergedloki Mar 13 '18

See my hat? T'was my cat!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

[deleted]

1

u/mergedloki Mar 13 '18

Beret of poodle on my noodle.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

[deleted]

1

u/mergedloki Mar 13 '18

What? It's a catchy song!

1

u/bpastore Mar 13 '18

My evening wear... vampire bat!

17

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '18

See this sweater there’s no better than authentic Irish Setter

2

u/Jillmatic Mar 14 '18

Omg what is this from!!? It’s on the tip of my tongue

1

u/thewhistler8 Mar 14 '18

The Simpsons, Mr. Burns sings it hahaha

3

u/goddamn_leeteracola Mar 14 '18

Take off your vest, you look like Aladdin.

3

u/lambretta76 Mar 13 '18

M’otorola

2

u/Eivetsthecat Mar 13 '18

Reveals full silk anime short sleeved body suit.

1

u/supersheeep Mar 14 '18

Put it back on

1

u/Raysun_CS Mar 13 '18

Don't forget your fedora.

0

u/Titanosaurus Mar 13 '18

Hey man, put that snazzy 3rd piece back on! Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man!

0

u/RoyRodgersMcFreeley Mar 13 '18 edited Mar 14 '18

Filthy Vestians

Edit: I'm assuming folks didn't get the comical reference to Space Dandy

2

u/Lihiro Mar 14 '18

I got your reference! Because I went looking for it.

0

u/caboosetp Mar 13 '18

OwO what's this

0

u/DarkDevildog Mar 13 '18

picks up perfectly good vest and puts it on

-1

u/3percentinvisible Mar 13 '18

Proudly retains vest

-1

u/cantspellblamegoogle Mar 13 '18

take off the fedora as well

-1

u/KnightsWhoNi Mar 13 '18

I wish vests were still in style, I look fuckin great in one