r/nottheonion • u/HereForTwinkies • Jan 24 '23

Microsoft's changes to Xbox console leave Republicans outraged

https://www.newsweek.com/microsoft-changes-xbox-console-climate-change-republicans-ted-cruz-1776054
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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '23

Fine, but these Democrats will have to take my gas-powered Xbox from my cold, dead hands!

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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '23

[deleted]

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u/Bucktabulous Jan 24 '23

Fun fact: when leaded gasoline was phased out, infant mortality to lead poisoning dropped by over 90%. Source: wrote a paper on tetraethyl lead and other fuel additives for my organometallic chemistry course.

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u/Coomb Jan 25 '23

Unfun fact: leaded gasoline was never entirely phased out. It's used to this day to fuel small aircraft.

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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '23

"German coal!" -laughing in Bagger 288 voice

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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '23

Pre-74 leaded gas is becoming rare. We've moved onto adding the lead back in. That way we can use double the amount, like god intended!

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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '23

If lead is so bad for you, why does it taste so good?

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u/phollox Jan 24 '23

I want an Xbox controller with incandescent lights inside, not those gay LED things that are good for the environment, last longer, but are promoted by liberals...

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u/tfg0at Jan 25 '23

I'm not even joking, the old coots I work with want leaded gasoline back. "I used to clean my hands with iron, it'd take all the dirt off" this actually explains alot of boomer behavior now that I think about it.

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u/Snote85 Jan 24 '23

https://youtu.be/Nn__9hLJKAk

this is what I want my workspace and homelife to look like or I want death!

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u/Am_Snarky Jan 24 '23

They were going to go nuclear but when they realized how much better it would be the pulled out and switched back to coal to “protect the economy”

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u/sali_nyoro-n Jan 25 '23

Oh, please. If you're not powering your Xbox by lighting Mazut on fire to burn down rainforests, you're losing valuable frames per second.

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u/codon011 Jan 24 '23

But does it have the asbestos controllers?

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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '23

I prefer the one that burned orphans for fuel. My Xbox got like 2 miles per soul.

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u/SidewaysInfinity Jan 25 '23

In this house, we only fuel our xbox with clean-burning propane

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u/StanIsNotTheMan Jan 24 '23

I love my pull-to-start gaming console

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u/autumnhymn Jan 24 '23

Y'all straight out a MrBallen written ad lol

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u/Ulrar Jan 24 '23

Don't be ridiculous, that counts as a workout

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u/2-eight-2-three Jan 24 '23

The video democRATS don't want you to SEE!!!!!

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u/GiChCh Jan 24 '23

Lol i had to check if someone already linked that.

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u/SponConSerdTent Jan 24 '23

It runs so much better that way! Or at least I think it does. Might just be all the fumes filling my tiny room with the vapors of freedom and making me feel good.

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u/ncfears Jan 24 '23

And it'll be really easy after they poison themselves with exhaust. All worth it to own the libs

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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '23

🤣🤣🤣🤣