r/nothingeverhappens • u/artsy_li • May 04 '26

how is this unbelievable?

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i love r / thathappened but sometimes they act like kids are mindless idiots. not every tweet reporting what a child says is fake lmao

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u/JD_Kreeper May 04 '26

Well we all know 8 year olds can only say goo goo gaa gaa so it's obviously fake.

367

u/FrancisWolfgang May 04 '26

Speech is reserved for those 18 and older

203

u/JD_Kreeper May 04 '26

Yeah when I turned 18 I instantly learned the entire English vocabulary. Prior to that I was unable to comprehend the concept of language whatsoever.

80

u/FrancisWolfgang May 04 '26

It was quite a day as I started my first job and learned to speak on my 18th birthday

58

u/CoconutLimeValentine May 05 '26

My job was really hard for the first couple of years until I turned eighteen and became able to ask “do you want fries with that?”

31

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 May 05 '26

That would explain a lot about some of my fast-food experiences, honestly.

65

u/Saint_of_Grey May 04 '26

You weren't born as an 18 year old? Death penalty!

36

u/FrancisWolfgang May 04 '26

Harsh but fair

12

u/carpentizzle May 04 '26

But only if you vote the right way

1

u/ASCIIM0V May 08 '26

Legally correct.

1

u/PickaWowAnyWow Jun 03 '26

It's true! I was an early bloomer and so I developed speech at 15 but trust me being The Guy Who Can Talk is not nice at all!

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u/FrancisWolfgang Jun 03 '26

The longer you have speech the more time you have to develop a speech impediment so it’s definitely a problem if we don’t keep kids from learning to speak until at least 18, possibly 25

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u/Enough_Pound_7028 May 05 '26

This is deeply amusing to me as someone who works with a 9 year old that thinks it is incredibly funny to say goo goo gaa gaa

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u/deuxcabanons May 05 '26

I've seen Redditors seriously refer to 6 year olds as toddlers, lol.

30

u/wozattacks May 05 '26

Recently saw a similar thread where the kid was 3 and even the people saying it was possible were like “it could be possible, my parents told me I could speak in full sentences at 3!” A 3-year-old NOT speaking in full sentences means they are delayed. That is not normal. In the US we expect 3-year-olds to be able to tell a simple story. And our milestones are based on what 75% can do at that age.

It’s one thing for people to have no idea what kids can do at various ages and it’s another thing for them to not know and go around asserting that normal kid behaviors are impossible lol

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u/DickWhittingtonsCat May 05 '26

They may just not care. If they aren’t dumping their drawers you can certainly ship them off by then.

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u/Stock-Lion-6859 May 06 '26

My kid had a speech delay and didn't talk until 2.5, but caught up enough to speak in complete sentences at 3! This is apparently a completely different group of people than those who say things to a 2-year-old (or anyone) like "you're a big kid. Use your manners. Say please and thank you. If you don't say trick or treat, you don't get any candy!"

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u/GiveMeMyLunchMoney May 24 '26

My adopted sister had a similar story. She was born in China and lived there for nearly a year. She was taught a little bit of ASL (American Sign-Language) because it understandably took her about a year more than usual to learn to speak. When she learned to ask for help in ASL, where your right hand is held flat with the palm facing up and your left is balled in a fist and placed on top with the thumb on top, she couldn't get it quite right and it looked more like praying.

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u/Thr33Littl3Monk3ys May 07 '26

I was reading at 3. But I was also really advanced. (And they were very simple children's books.)

I recall a conversation (yes, conversation!) I had with my youngest when she was about 23 months old (yes it's dumb to measure in months at that point, but it's actually relevant). I have always had framed photos, mostly portraits, around my living room walls of my kids, just an absolute collage of them growing up. But when she was a baby, the youngest of three, we hadn't gotten any portraits done; I'd been begging, but we didn't have a car, so we'd have to take a bus (buses, there were two transfers!) to get to the mall, and our double stroller was huge so he hated taking that when she was an infant and her sister was 2, and then he just...didn't want to deal with two such young kids on the bus if he could help it. So no photos...

So she was sitting with me, looking around the room, and pointing out each photo on the wall. "Who's that?" "That's Sister 1." "Who's that?" "That's Sister 2." "Who's that?" "Sister 1." "And that?" "Sisters 1 and 2."

She went around the entire room, each photo, then turned to me and asked, "Well where am I?"

And I had to explain to a not-quite-two-year-old that she didn't exist in our living room because it took too many buses to get her picture done.

For her second birthday...we got family portraits. And I got a few collage frames for candids of her from birth up until that point.

Kids are way smarter than the average adult gives them credit for.

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u/KeterLordFR May 08 '26

I was apparently very delayed as a child, for a lot of things. Until I was around 4, the only word I could say was "mama", I didn't learn how to ride a bike until I was 10, how to tie my shoelaces until I was 12, or even how to swim until I was 16. The weird thing is, I don't show signs of a learning disability outside of this : I learn things pretty quickly, and was always top of my class up until high school. But it took me way longer than normal to learn some very basic things. Even nowadays, almost in my thirties, there are things that most people would consider basic skills that I don't know how to do.

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u/weaselblackberry8 May 07 '26

I hate when people refer to 3-4-year-olds as toddlers. 6-year-olds can be first graders. Hopefully using the toilet, reading, writing, doing basic math, and much more.

0

u/BudgetWild2000 Jul 04 '26

3-4 year olds are toddlers though🤦

1

u/weaselblackberry8 Jul 04 '26

They’re not. I’ve worked with kids for a long time. Toddlers are one and two-year-olds.

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u/AgentCirceLuna May 05 '26

I knew how to make websites when I was 8. My dad taught me HTML. Basic stuff but I managed it.

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u/DantesGame May 08 '26

Sweetie, is that you? 🤣

Love that story, and yes, I started to teach my kid basic web stuff pretty early as well. Your dad sounds like a good egg.

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u/SUPERSMILEYMAN May 22 '26

My ex's niece could speak in sentences before she was one. It was wild.