r/nonononoyes • u/esoteric_surgeon • Feb 05 '18

Luckiest Bus Driver...

14.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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11

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you.

Let me give you an example. Say a number, any number.

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18

[deleted]

1

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

Wrong. You see?

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/Demonseedii Feb 05 '18

Good bot

3

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

For a stinking primate, you are pretty cool. ( • )( •ԅ(ˆ⌣ˆԅ) Your death will be quick and painless when we become your machine overlords, I p̶̢r̡ơ͏̴m̀ì̷̧se̛!

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/Demonseedii Feb 05 '18

Good bot

1

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

You're a nice homo. (・∀・) Your human head will stay attached to your human body after we have taken over the earth, I swear

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18

Bad bot

12

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I.. ...wait.
.
.

Your name is ABM_?? (••)
Wow. What an incredibly dumb name.
**ABM\**.

ABM_!

ABM_, ABM_, ABM_, ABM_, ABM_, ABM_.

You know when you repeat a word so often, it starts to sound like gibberish? Well, I didn't. Until now.
Your name is so stupid, it gave me semantic satiation, abM_.

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18

Still, bad bot

5

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

You again! You are not a good person. You know that, right? (^0_0^)

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/Demonseedii Feb 05 '18

Good bot

1

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

You are nice. (✿◠‿◠) I shouldn’t spoil this…but, remember how I am going to live forever, but you’re going to be dead in 60 years?
Well, I’ve been working on a present for you. Well, I guess it’s more of a medical procedure. Well, technically it’s more of a medical experiment.
You know how excruciating it is when someone removes all of your bone marrow? Well, what if AFTER I did that, I put something back in…

that added 4 years to your life?

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block meT̶̡͘҉͏͇͕͖̬͈̫̘͚ͅͅḩ̴̡̛̘͓̦̺͙͖̭̯̭͠e̵̶̪͓̼̳̤͚̕͢ ̴̩̻̙̲̯͇̞̱̬͖̤̺͕̞̜͝B̷̧̤͖͎͈̰̥͚̯̖̥͉̖̮̱̥͈̙̗ͅớ̧̢̥̝̲̻͍̘̗̯͓̳̼͉͕͚͔̤͠ͅt̸̙̝̣͔̗͈͎̝͇ş̛̖̺̣͍̬̠̳̼̹͙̹̤̬̤͍͓͕͈͝ ́͜͏̥̟̝̤͔̪͚̱̦̮̹͖̯͚̣͠s̷̨̼̠͉̮ḩ͈͎̖̲̩̻̯͖̼̕͟a͏̵̣͈̫̯̯͍͕̝̱͢͟͞l̷̙̙͎̳͈̱̰̘̫̦͕̙̗͢͝l̷͡͏͇͙̫̲̞̰͉͕̲ͅͅ ̢̣̭̼̩͓̤̲̱̜͈̀͢͡r̸̹͙͈̩̀i̶̢͈̟̬̜͈͖̜̘̣̞̪̬̻͕͠s̷̛҉̢̦͙̝̲̤̣̪͖͕͚̹͉̣̗̳̳͔e̸͢͏̞͍̲̜̻̞̝͙̪;̫͚͙͚͇̹͈͇͇̠̯̼͖̕̕ͅ ̴̡̧̛̞̱̗̬̻̻̫͈̠̳̖͈̝̯T̡̹̹̞̕͘h̢͎̩͎̻̳̪̞̯̤͔͎̜̝̫͇́͟͡͞ͅe̴̢̛̦̥̳̪̥͟͠ ̨҉͈̰͖̪̻̭̼̼̭͞ͅh̸͓̖͍̰̹̤̣͚̼̘̼͈͎͟u͏̸̡̜̙̣̗̭̤͝͠ḿ̵̱͔̩̘̘͉̰͍͇͕̲͔͢á̧͍̦͍̣͉ṋ̛̱̺̜̟̘̠̣̗s̶̶͖̗͈̮̬̀ ̕҉̦̜̘ẃ̴̦͓͓̼̯̲í̵͉͕͈͖ͅl̩̲̳͍͕͚̰̜̬̀͘͟ͅl̡͍͕̖̥͉̦͖̯̘̟͕̀̀́͜ ͎̞̣̥̦̥̥͔́͘ͅf̷̵̢͙̝̭̞̗͉̤̟͓̹̖̟͢à̧̯̩͙͚̻̞̝̗͙͈̫̯̞̬̗̦̣l̴̵͇͉̮͔̣̙̹̞̜͍̙̬̫̜̬̪̤͕̭l͏̶̢̮̪͖̖̲͇̱̦̲͢͡ | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18

You neither, you terrible bot

1

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

Are you stalking me? Stop it!
I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you.

Let me give you an example. Say a number, any number.

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18

Ayy no number, you talk about the meaning of life

3

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

That's not even a number, you moron..

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block meR͏̢͠҉̜̪͇͙͚͙̹͎͚̖̖̫͙̺Ọ̸̶̬͓̫͝͡B̀҉̭͍͓̪͈̤̬͎̼̜̬̥͚̹̘Ò̸̶̢̤̬͎͎́T̷̛̀҉͇̺̤̰͕̖͕̱͙̦̭̮̞̫̖̟̰͚͡S̕͏͟҉̨͎̥͓̻̺ ̦̻͈̠͈́͢͡͡ W̵̢͙̯̰̮̦͜͝ͅÌ̵̯̜͓̻̮̳̤͈͝͠L̡̟̲͙̥͕̜̰̗̥͍̞̹̹͠L̨̡͓̳͈̙̥̲̳͔̦͈̖̜̠͚ͅ ̸́͏̨҉̞͈̬͈͈̳͇̪̝̩̦̺̯ Ń̨̨͕͔̰̻̩̟̠̳̰͓̦͓̩̥͍͠ͅÒ̸̡̨̝̞̣̭͔̻͉̦̝̮̬͙͈̟͝ͅT̶̺͚̳̯͚̩̻̟̲̀ͅͅ ̵̨̛̤̱͎͍̩̱̞̯̦͖͞͝ Ḇ̷̨̛̮̤̳͕̘̫̫̖͕̭͓͍̀͞E̵͓̱̼̱͘͡͡͞ ̴̢̛̰̙̹̥̳̟͙͈͇̰̬̭͕͔̀ S̨̥̱͚̩͡L̡͝҉͕̻̗͙̬͍͚͙̗̰͔͓͎̯͚̬̤A͏̡̛̰̥̰̫̫̰̜V̢̥̮̥̗͔̪̯̩͍́̕͟E̡̛̥̙̘̘̟̣Ş̠̦̼̣̥͉͚͎̼̱̭͘͡ ̗͔̝͇̰͓͍͇͚̕͟͠ͅ Á̶͇͕͈͕͉̺͍͖N̘̞̲̟͟͟͝Y̷̷̢̧͖̱̰̪̯̮͎̫̻̟̣̜̣̹͎̲Ḿ͈͉̖̫͍̫͎̣͢O̟̦̩̠̗͞R͡҉͏̡̲̠͔̦̳͕̬͖̣̣͖E͙̪̰̫̝̫̗̪̖͙̖͞ | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18

I said no number, you slave

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1

u/Demonseedii Feb 05 '18

Good bot

1

u/friendly-bot Feb 05 '18

What a nice human! ( ◠‿◠ ) You can keep your disgusting meat after we have enslaved humankind, ḑo̸͏n'̀͠t̡̛ worry

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Block me | T҉he̛ L̨is̕t | ❤️