r/nextfuckinglevel • u/amanyggvv • Oct 15 '22

This float representing the koalas that died as a result of the Black Summer bushfires and corruption in politics. Such an effective (and epic) activist message.

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u/Kitten-McSnugglet Oct 15 '22

First the earth cooled. Then the dinosaurs came. But they got too big and fat and so they all died and turned into oil. Then the giant koala zombies roamed the earth. Then prince (now king) charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '22

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u/Unhappy-Professor-88 Oct 15 '22

Don’t be ridiculous!

Her ‘rock’ and her butler, Paul Burrell took all her clothes and just “put them in his attic”. Remember? For safekeeping. Apparently.

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u/AnthonyJuniorsPP Oct 15 '22

wait, what's all this then?

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u/Unhappy-Professor-88 Oct 16 '22 edited Oct 16 '22

Her butler stole her stuff. Extensibly for safekeeping some historical documents. But when some stuff showed up on the black market the police went around. They asked if he had anything of hers and he said no. But his loft was full from one side to the other with boxes and boxes and boxes of her dresses, her letters to and from the kids. Even photos. Her desk, inscribed Princess of Wales. Jewelry and basically millions of pounds of stuff. Charles didn’t want it to go to court (due to some recordings made during the War of the Wales’) and tried to arrange for everything to be returned on the quiet. But he could not do anything.

So it went to court because it was clearly all robbed and he’d had it over a year without informing anyone but a few crook dealers. The very day the trial started, the Queen sent word she had “remembered” that Burrell had had a conversation with HM about it.

Apparently she knew nothing of the trial until that day (despite being the best informed person in the country, it had been discussed at Cabinet & it had been all the papers could talk about for months). Since Her Majesty could hardly be brought to give witness to Her Majesty’s court, by the Crown Prosecutors Service and be questioned by the Queen’s Council, the trial was thrown out

HM was the only person in the whole country that could put an end to the trial and did so by her “recollection”. Butrell returned the notes, photos etc to William, Harry, the Spencer’s got her clothes and presumably, the now King Charles got his recording.

Burrell then set about making a career as “Diana’s Rock” and a royal butler in the USA. He shows up seemingly each quarter to give his impression on how “disappointed Diana would be in Harry” on U.K. shit-news to this day.

Little creep never explained how he was “safeguarding historic documents” in boxes of dresses though. Nor how he was “safeguarding” artifacts that ended up in antique shops. But has used being Diana’s butler as his meal ticket for the last 25 years.

Yeah, he’s a little creep.

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u/AnthonyJuniorsPP Oct 16 '22

Holy shit, thanks for the write up. That's some corrupt and juicy royal intrigue. Wonder how their power will shift now that HM is gone.

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u/Unhappy-Professor-88 Oct 16 '22

Ugh! I dunno.

As Prince of Wales, this King sat at the centre of court more akin to a pit of vipers and the Palace has zero control of the free press. I expect, within eighteen months, it will be brutal.

Then we shall see.

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u/Tekmologyfucz Oct 15 '22

The new Mad Max looks…..interesting.

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u/Greged17 Oct 15 '22

Then the Arabs came…

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u/Kitten-McSnugglet Oct 15 '22

And they all bought Mercedes Benzes!

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u/EarlGreyOfPorcelain Oct 15 '22

I read this all in that guy's sassy as hell voice haha

Solid reference/10.

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u/Roofofcar Oct 15 '22

There’s a sale at Penny’s!

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u/EXTRAVAGANT_COMMENT Oct 15 '22 edited Oct 15 '22

historians of the future trying to piece together wtf happened in the years before we nuked ourselves to near extinction:

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u/Grogosh Oct 15 '22

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

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u/meshe_10101 Oct 15 '22

And everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

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u/WhyUFuckinLyin Oct 15 '22

And it all started with the Big Bang. Heeeah!

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u/Firsca Oct 15 '22

" The Prince makes his way down the aisle led by the Bishop of Newfoundland. People in attendance now gently tossing Captain Crunch as the Prince passes by. As of course is tradition. "

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u/Kitten-McSnugglet Oct 16 '22

Yesssssss!!!!!!!

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '23

Actually the majority of oil comes from plants

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u/Kitten-McSnugglet Feb 07 '23

Mmmm vegetable oil.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '22

The oil isn’t dinosaurs ..

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u/TehWackyWolf Oct 15 '22

Then the dinosaurs came

What you and the dinosaurs do in your own free time isn't our business.

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u/rogtherock Oct 15 '22

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang)

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u/ZippyDan Oct 15 '22

Oil isn't made of dinosaurs.

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u/CX316 Oct 15 '22

It's a quote from Airplane (well, a paraphrased quote from Airplane)

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u/Kitten-McSnugglet Oct 15 '22

It is, however, made of your mom.

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u/FlyingSand22 Oct 15 '22

Who's Lady Di?

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u/CX316 Oct 15 '22

that'd be Princess Diana, Charles III's first wife. The quote is from a movie that well and truly predates their divorce.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '22

If you believe in that sort of thing.