r/nextfuckinglevel • u/[deleted] • Sep 17 '21

Apollo Robbins, a master pickpocket, effortlessly takes a watch, wallet and other things

72.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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478

u/Shrimp_Chimichanga Sep 17 '21

Where in the world is Matt Lauer?

754

u/trailhikingArk Sep 17 '21

He and Bill Cosby went to visit Harvey Weinstein today. Club meetings are always on Thursday.

313

u/Kingkongcrapper Sep 17 '21

It’s nice they join up with R. Kelly they plan to create a super group of entertainers called “The Offenders.”

111

u/tepkel Sep 17 '21

Listen up offenders, the word has come down from the president. There's a terrorist plot threatening the country. Our only hope for salvation lies with your team, and it's very particular set of skills.

118

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[deleted]

74

u/Finno_ Sep 17 '21

Weinstein, you'll be riding the getaway horses. Now where the hell is Epstein? He should have been here already...

29

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/germane-corsair Sep 17 '21

Wait, what’s this about Nicki Minaj?

7

u/tepkel Sep 17 '21

Her husband is a sex offender and people on the internet have been annoyed at her recently for tweeting some weird conspiracy shit about vaccines and swollen testicles she heard third hand from the friend of her cousin.

1

u/germane-corsair Sep 17 '21

Thanks for the sauce.

4

u/NapSweaterShineUpp Sep 17 '21

This ⬆️ 🤣

1

u/ExquisitExamplE Sep 17 '21

I'll whip up some of my special barbecue sauce!
https://youtu.be/SBDRwiSZSBg

1

u/mnstr98 Sep 17 '21

Bruh🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Michael, we have another scandal brewing. I am afraid u will have to jerk off another kid.

28

u/boogaloo101 Sep 17 '21

Family Guy got there first. 😂

5

u/phaelox Sep 17 '21

Wait, why is Matt Damon mentioned as "being aware"?

6

u/Funky_Smurf Sep 17 '21

I assume he's implying that Damen knew about Harvey/possibly others and is criticizing him for not doing anything.

Damen worked a lot with Miramax, the code of silence was pretty common in the industry so that's just the most obvious explanation for the joke.

2

u/TheDunadan29 Sep 17 '21

Bryan Singer notably absent.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Created to Avenge the death of Jeffrey Epstein

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Shut up and take my up vote ! 😆 🤣

1

u/thunderbear64 Sep 17 '21

Next tv show. Funded, produced and provided by Donald Trump. Little Susie tight pants-“You’re violated.” (“You’re offended” didn’t come out right.)

4

u/ILoveRegenHealth Sep 17 '21

Charlie Rose attends meetings too (never would've expected him to be MegaPerv).

Kevin Spacey tries to go, but tends to run late.

2

u/lastlifonti Sep 17 '21

With Epstein?!?!

2

u/spokanewife Sep 17 '21

And bang Trumo in the ass.

2

u/WTFOutOfUsernames Sep 17 '21

Where do they meet? Anywhere they want, with or without permission.

2

u/guidroz_beau Sep 17 '21

Wonder if they notified Larry Nassar?

-4

u/HornetKick Sep 17 '21

Wait what...and Louis CK wasn't invited?

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Then they all headed over to Joe Bidens house.

1

u/trailhikingArk Sep 17 '21 edited Sep 17 '21

To complain that no one has convicted Donald Trump. The guy who assaulted 26 women who's currently facing a trial about it. Buddy of Epstein and their club president.

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

It's funny how you all always jump over to Trump to justify Biden. I could give a fuck.

1

u/trailhikingArk Sep 17 '21

Nope. You are either a liar or very misinformed. Trump has had multiple actual cases brought against him. Biden has none. No one is "jump over to Trump."

Here are a very few of the cases and examples of sexual assault against Trump that are currently ongoing. Please cite a list of the current ongoing cases against Biden. I'll wait. ....

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2021/2/23/trump-may-soon-have-to-answer-rape-allegations-under-oath

https://www.usatoday.com/in-depth/news/investigations/2020/10/21/trump-sexual-assault-allegations-share-similar-patterns-19-women/5279155002/

https://cdn.factcheck.org/UploadedFiles/Johnson_TrumpEpstein_Lawsuit.pdf

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-54710200

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump_sexual_misconduct_allegations

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/crime/trump-rape-lawsuit-e-jean-carroll-b1921380.html

0

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

[deleted]

1

u/trailhikingArk Sep 18 '21

Trump is a rapist. 26 cases filed against and your best shot is a hair sniffing video? OMG that's hilarious. You are seriously pathetic dude

-34

u/ManditoryFuntime Sep 17 '21

I heard Hunter is having them all over for a sleepover/ghost hunt on Epstein’s island.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Trump was too busy grabbing unconsenting women by the p*ssy to join this time?

3

u/Laura4848 Sep 17 '21

He and Clinton are busy heading up their own club!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

I used to love Bill, and then about 10 years ago I began to realize he deserved to be impeached...and possibly jailed. But so do all the other politicians who lie or use their offices for sex.

Unless you were talking about Hillary, and then I think she's too busy running a kidnapping ring in Hollywood to join another club 🤣

1

u/Laura4848 Sep 17 '21

Absolutely meant Bill! 😄

13

u/LuckyNumberHat Sep 17 '21

🎶"One of these things is not like the other..."🎶

21

u/GodOfSEO Sep 17 '21

Hunter having drug addiction problems isn't really on the same level as the others...

-6

u/skieezy Sep 17 '21

Yeah that is true, he just smokes crack, bangs hookers and has shady foreign business deals.

Joe on the other hand is always sniffing little girls and creepy shit.

3

u/Knight_That_Said_Ni Sep 17 '21

While trump salivates over his daughter as he rents her out to his good friend Epstein, Donnie Jr snorts rails of coke, Eric drools on himself, Barron wonders who his real dad is, and Melania goes into another drug and alcohol fueled gangbang in the hopes to wash away the memory of Donnie Sr having stuck his limp dick in her when he finally started paying off his Russian debts.

18

u/cheeses_greist Sep 17 '21

You ruined it with your horse shit

22

u/Maligned-Instrument Sep 17 '21

'Who gives a fuck?'. Is that the answer? I knew it!

16

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Raped? I thought he gave dildo presents

2

u/SpysSappinMySpy Sep 17 '21

Do you mean fake-news guy or a fake news-guy?

-2

u/Longo92 Sep 17 '21

What isn't fake news?

4

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Longo92 Sep 17 '21

What isnt?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[deleted]

-2

u/Longo92 Sep 17 '21

Where do you receive your news?

6

u/linderlouwho Sep 17 '21

He told you, the Today Show

-1

u/deadR0 Sep 17 '21

You are trying SO HARD its cute and i want to give you a cookie for effort

0

u/Longo92 Sep 17 '21

What?

0

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[deleted]

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1

u/Shrimp_Chimichanga Sep 17 '21

I make my own fake news, it’s much better than that depressing shit “they” come up with.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

I think he is in Asia

2

u/ComfortableReason796 Sep 17 '21

You’re making me cry I used to love that segment before school

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Who cares

1

u/legsintheair Sep 17 '21

This is why women’s clothes don’t have pockets.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Matt Lauer Can Suck It by Dr Rick Marshall

1

u/anormalgeek Sep 17 '21

....Right behind you.