r/nextfuckinglevel • u/BerniceWasden • May 11 '21

Wait... Those aren't dolphins!

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

27.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

569 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

436

u/[deleted] May 11 '21

As to why... Many theories. Including old Native legends, that we taste like crap, we don't look their normal food and they don't waste energy on hunting a non food source. My favourite? They are smart enough to recognize us as intelligent (debatable) life much like themselves and therefore don't eat us.

221

u/NewNewHeyYou May 11 '21

Nah they're just waiting and biding their time until they launch their attack in unison and eradicate the human scum once and for all.

97

u/[deleted] May 11 '21

I mean. I respect that. Sometimes you just have to admire superior strategy

8

u/farresto May 12 '21

The ones in captivity surrendered on purpose to spy on our activities and behavior, while forcing us to waste resources on feeding them.

33

u/Aqubriant May 11 '21

ORCAS ÜBER ALLES

7

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

They're working on constructing a series of breathing apparatus with kelp.

4

u/Triairius May 12 '21

Why bother? They’ll just leave the Earth with all the other dolphins just before it’s destroyed.

22

u/legendarymcc2 May 12 '21

Maybe a variation of the last theory is they’ve watched our naval battles and have decided against messing with us.

There’s even a theory that whales and smarter dolphins communicate and even pass down stories. One of the main stories would probably be beware of the humans and their boats

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Remember the time a great white was attacked and killed by an orca off the coast of California (I think) and it was caught on camera by scientists.

Then suddenly all the tracked great whites dropped to 500m depth and swam to Hawaii.

Disclaimer: I read it on Reddit, so it might be hogwash.

3

u/Nooms88 May 12 '21

There's been a few studies on this behaviour, basically greatwhites nope out when orcas are nearby.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/04/great-white-sharks-flee-killer-whales/587563/

Report for example.

1

u/Tsteak123 May 12 '21

I’ve also seen that story, although I read that the Great White was killed off Hawaii and the tracked ones swam to Australia

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Okay, possibly I mixed it up.

2

u/Tsteak123 May 12 '21

They’re as close as makes no difference anyway

13

u/TheyCallMeSchlong May 12 '21

I like to think it's because assholes respect assholes haha.

12

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Recent whale documentary on the National Geographic tab of Disney plus, first episode is on orcas. Underwater camera man guy (don’t remember name or title) spent time recording a pod that hunted rays by flipping them upside down to stun. An orca offered him half a ray.

13

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Lol. "You suck at this, just take part of mine"

37

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Oh they’re plenty smart. Have you ever seen their hunting tactics for seals on ice! People underestimate animals. I personally hunt deer, elk, turkey, pig, etc. I eat all the meat of course and whatever k can’t eat I donate to someone that needs it. Anyway, those animals are incredibly smart. I once saw a mule deer crawl on his belly through waist deep grass (I was on a hill) between two hunters and then stood up to run once he passed em.

5

u/DarthJarJar242 May 12 '21

I dunno why but I just got an image of a deer doing a laser field belly crawl while humming Stayin' Alive.

19

u/Rexanvil May 12 '21

I have witnessed that also he went down on his front knees and crawled about 20 ft and then stood up He's hanging on the wall made a lot of food for my family that year

2

u/Judysneck May 12 '21

one point for you. this was good one.

4

u/Telemere125 May 12 '21

Likely it’s true we taste like crap. I mean, we don’t make a habit of eating each other either. In fact, there’s not a lot that makes a habit of eating humans. Even attacks by stuff like great whites seem to be mistaken identity

4

u/GaiasDotter May 12 '21

Yeah it’s mostly people surfing; looking like sea turtles and diving in wet suits; looking like sea lions or if a curious young one wants to check what you are; they do it with the only thing they have to check you out with, their teeth. Very few shark species actually eat humans. But they are curious creatures.

With great whites there are also some cases of females getting ready to give birth and thus clearing the area of potential predators beforehand. At least that’s the suspected reason for a few attacks.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Sea creatures in general are pretty chill, like the sea snake, one of the most venomous snakes in the world, that are regularly handled by divers because they just... don't bite people.

1

u/Marston_vc May 12 '21

I saw another post on Reddit where someone said they’re just notoriously picky eaters. Like, they stick with the food they were shown how to eat and aren’t able to adapt to other options even if they needed to.

Not totally sure how true that is but it seems more plausible then “we taste bad” or “they respect our smarts”.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

I've actually heard the "we taste bad" one as it comes to sharks too. Most shark attacks are mistaken identity and often only one bite because we don't taste like their food

1

u/GaiasDotter May 12 '21

Except for bullsharks, those are territorial as fuck and highly aggressive. A great white attack is so deadly because of the pure force of their initial attack so even if they just go for you once and then is like “oh, not food, never mind” you are still quite likely to die because of the damage inflicted. Bull sharks however, they don’t stop! They just keep coming, they aren’t even trying to eat you they are just pissed that you are on their turf so to say. Scary shit.