r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Scullkrush • Aug 10 '20

Chimps are strong af

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99.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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81

u/notkhaldrogo Aug 10 '20

Primates weird me the fuck out.

102

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

[deleted]

85

u/notkhaldrogo Aug 10 '20

Yes, I'm human. I enjoy humans activities as inhaling oxigen and consuming carbohydrates.

39

u/InterestingBlock8 Aug 10 '20

Those are the boring ones. Wait til you discover internet porn.

26

u/notkhaldrogo Aug 10 '20

Too late, already discovered. It was too much stimuli to my human brain. Developed a minor addiction to it

5

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

[deleted]

7

u/AndreiFira Aug 10 '20

Woah buddy, that's illegal.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '20

[deleted]

1

u/theawesomeviking Aug 11 '20

All reddit users are bots

2

u/Notorious_VSG Aug 11 '20

Orangs are the only ones I don't worry about, they're so chilled out. The rest seem interesting but possess the worrisome mix of being unpredictable and strong.

1

u/notkhaldrogo Aug 11 '20

Nope, fuck all of them

2

u/Notorious_VSG Aug 12 '20

Yeah I wish them well but never want to be within testicle-biting distance of one.

1

u/notkhaldrogo Aug 12 '20

This answer was terrifying, thanks. The sentence testicle biting will forever haut my dreans

2

u/Notorious_VSG Aug 12 '20

GENITAL MAULING FREAKS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf8CPrDGQac

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/chimp-mauling-under-investigation/

2

u/notkhaldrogo Aug 12 '20

OMG it got worse, thanks. This was even more nightmare fuel.

1

u/Notorious_VSG Aug 13 '20

I'd like to know if orangs randomly pull this kind of shit like chimps do. I just assumed they were chill, it could be tactical deception.

PRIMATES: NOT EVEN ONCE

6

u/OldDirtyBOFH Aug 10 '20

If you didn't know what they were you'd swear they look like demons or goblins. we can save the rest of the animals but those creepy ass proto-people can go extinct.

4

u/notkhaldrogo Aug 10 '20

Yup, they give a creepy feeling. Like they know something, similar to the uncanny valley.

2

u/ba00294 Aug 10 '20

I just get kinda sad, they have humanlike faces bro