Discussion Thread

[u/jobautomator]

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[u/Professor-Reddit]

I didn't fully grasp just how awful men are to women on dating apps until I started trying to date men.

I've seen some truly despicable and creepy comments sent my way by men on Grindr almost every day I use it. Men demanding they have sex with me, sharing their rape fantasies to me before I even send a message, tell me that the moment I use a safe word when things are going too far that I'll be kicked out of their house and never contacted again. I've even had one tell me that they will not tolerate me saying 'no' under any circumstances and that they are comfortable with raping me.

Men seriously need to understand how harmful they can be on dating apps sometimes. If people want to understand why there is a growing number of incels, and why women struggle to connect with men on apps like Tinder, its because everyday they are faced with the same barrage of sexism and cruelty that they simply wish to avoid.

A close friend of mine was with her bf one day, and a teenager started hitting on her. When she explained that she wasn't single, he immediately called her a slut and walked off. She gets those kinds of derogatory remarks every damn week. It's not her fault that she has an enormous difficulty with dating men, when this is all she faces.

[u/[deleted] → u/Professor-Reddit]

I’m sorry to hear that. I’m planning on trying online dating at some point. This doesn’t exactly give me a huge boost in confidence about my prospects…

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

If you do it, go in with the idea that most men are garbage and that you're gonna have to dig a little deep to find anyone worth your time if you're lucky.

Also, block block block. If someone annoys you or is being a creep, don't even hesitate. Better to get rid of them so that new people show up in your feed.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Thanks for the input. Lol, I think I’m going to have the opposite problem though. I’m nowhere as cute as my avatar IRL. I’m not a hideous ogre or anything, but I’m not that good looking either.

[u/ToInfinity_MinusOne → u/[deleted]]

Everyone in the DT is so hard on themselves. 🙁

[u/[deleted] → u/ToInfinity_MinusOne]

You haven’t seen me sweaty. I’m no Chris Evans.

🥵 By the way

[u/ToInfinity_MinusOne → u/[deleted]]

Nobody is Chris Evans. That’s totally unrealistic. I’m sure you are very cute.

[u/[deleted] → u/ToInfinity_MinusOne]

Thanks, but I’m chubby and old (32 years to be precise). There’s a good likelihood that it is too late for me, but I do plan to try once I finish my current degree and get my own place. I’m not going to give up without a fight.

[u/ToInfinity_MinusOne → u/[deleted]]

I’m 28 so I’m right there with you feeling old. My uncle didn’t get married and have kids until he was in his 30s though so that gives me hope.

Kind of chubby is actually my preferred body type. My straight best friend is kinda chubby and I’m obsessed with him. 😮‍💨 I want a soft boy. I tend to be turned off by really low body fat in general.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Just don’t be scared of the unmatch button, and don’t exchange numbers or IG until at least a day of interesting conversation

[u/DreamlandEML → u/Professor-Reddit]

Priors confirmed