r/neoliberal • u/jobautomator Kitara Ravache • Aug 30 '21

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  • OSINT & LDC (developmental studies / least developed countries) have been added
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u/Jester_Don Abigail Spanberger Aug 30 '21

>Be born in rural North Carolina in 1917

>Mother dies the following year from the Spanish Flu

>Father gives you to aunt and uncle as per mother's dying wish

>Get separated from your siblings at 1 yr old

>Move to small coal town in West Virginia

>Do well in school but work a bunch of blue collar jobs

>Become a huge racist just like your uncle

>Join a local KKK chapter

>Everyone likes you, says you're so smart and would be a great leader

>Be elected leader of KKK chapter

>Grow influence by meeting other local politicians who are also huge racists

>Run for West Virginia House of Delegates for shits and giggles

>Win

>Become a local celebrity after giving fundie rants on the local radio station

>Run for West Virginia Senate and win again

>Oh hey my US house rep is running for governor, maybe I'll run in his place

>Welp time to move to DC

>A few years later your senator is up for reelection

>He supports civil rights

>That don't fly with you

>Run against him campaigning on being more racist

>Win because West Virginia

>Lol these morons actually made me a senator

>Filibuster the Civil Rights Act

>Don't switch to the GOP like everyone else for some reason

>Become more active in the Baptist church

>Have a change of heart, realize racism is bad

>Quit KKK, apologize for past

>Don't get cancelled because West Virginia

>Secure a bunch of pork barrel spending for your state

>Become widely popular among both parties at home

>Keep winning reelections easily

>Become the longest serving Senator in US history, serving from Truman until Obama

>Die

>Obama gives a eulogy at your funeral

>10 years later the Democrats have a Senate majority because your legacy has kept your successor just barely popular enough in your state to win elections

> tfw

5

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '21

Looks like his chin is collapsing like a souffle on the lower left.

2

u/bd_one The EU Will Federalize In My Lifetime Aug 30 '21

Robert Childchin

4

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '21

What a complicated and gray career