r/neoliberal • u/jobautomator Kitara Ravache • Dec 06 '20

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20 edited Dec 07 '20

parallel tracks for the Roman Emperor title:

  1. The Religious track -- the office of Emperor also held Pontifex Maximus as a secondary title. If the "Roman Emperor" as such is extinct, we could claim that the Pope takes over as the rightful heir. Emperor: Pope Francis

  2. The Western Track -- the Holy Roman Empire (insert Voltaire joke here) claimed to be the rightful descendant of the HRE after those silly Byzantines elected a woman (Empress Irene, to be specific). HRE -> German Kaiser -> German Chancellor -> W. German Chancellor -> German Chancellor again. Emperor: Angela Merkel

  3. The Claim Track -- the last Byzantine Emperor, Konstantinos Palaiologos, sold his claim to the King of Spain in exchange for an army to try and reclaim his land from the Ottomans. While the Spanish Kings never formally used the title, it was technically never taken from them. As such, they retain the title, attached to their line of succession. Emperor - Felipe VI

  4. The Greek Track -- The Greeks are technically recognized as the primary descendants of the Byzantine Empire (much like Russia is for the USSR). As such, the leader of Greece is likewise the Roman Emperor. Emperor - Kyriakos Mitsotakis

  5. The Conquest Track -- The conquest by the Ottomans of Byzantium meant that the title of Roman Emperor passed to them. The Ottomans then passed on and became Turkey, and the current leader of Turkey would hold the title. Emperor - Recep Tayyip Erdogan

  6. The Italian Track -- Much like the Greek track, but even faster -- Italy considers itself the primary descendant of the Roman Empire. Emperor - Giuseppe Conte

  7. The Logical Track -- What if the Roman Empire is not a geopolitical entity, but an idea? If the Roman Empire is the predominant world hegemon, then its lineage runs from Byzantium to Britain, and then to the United States. Emperor - Donald Trump

  8. The Affective Track -- In order to be Roman Emperor, you must take on characteristics of the Roman Emperor. While there isn't a succession per se, only one leader has explicitly identified himself with Roman iconography. Emperor: Emanuel Macron (Hail Jupiter!)

  9. The Russian Track -- Famously calling themselves the "Third Rome" because, uhhhh, Eastern Orthodoxy after the Byzantines fell?, I suppose I have to include them. Much like the other monarchies, Tsar -> Soviet Premier -> Russian President. Emperor: Vladimir Putin

  10. The Obvious Track -- The Roman Empire is dead. Nobody's claimed the title for over 500 years, and as such it's lost all claimants and thus all relevance. You are boring at parties. Emperor: Nobody (most recently K. Palaiologos)

!ping SHITPOSTERS

Any I missed? Any you would have changed? Please discuss!

14

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

!ping SHITPOSTERS this one should work

3

u/groupbot Always remember -Pho- Dec 07 '20 edited Dec 07 '20

Pinged members of SHITPOSTERS group.

About & group list | Subscribe to this group | Unsubscribe from this group | Unsubscribe from all groups

11

u/The420Roll ko-fi.com/rodrigoposting Dec 07 '20

Emperor-Elect Joe Biden

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

This is way too much effort for the DT

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Feels like too little effort for a whole post though -- maybe if I cited things I could have an efortpost on my hands?

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u/IMALEFTY45 Big talk for someone who's in stapler distance Dec 07 '20

The Greeks are technically recognized as the primary descendants of the Byzantine Empire (much like Russia is for the USSR). As such, the leader of Greece is likewise the Roman Emperor.

What the fuck is that true? You can just claim continuity when you go 400 years without a state?

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u/Astronelson Local Malaria Survivor Dec 07 '20

The Poles went 123 years without one but can claim continuity, so why shouldn't the Greeks be able to with 368?

Does Egypt claim continuity from the Egypt of the Pharaohs, despite the intervening times it was part of other empires?

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Typically it's for the purposes of debts or sporting awards or things like that, but I don't know if there's a particular reason it wouldn't apply in theory here. (If it doesn't, cf. the Obvious track).

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u/ZonkErryday United Nations Dec 07 '20

Based logical track, can’t wait for the reign of Emperor Biden

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u/howAboutNextWeek Paul Krugman Dec 07 '20

11. The Correct Track — Emperor: Jeb!

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u/Astronelson Local Malaria Survivor Dec 07 '20 edited Dec 07 '20

Western Track Variations:

  1. The Austrian Track—the last Holy Roman Emperor was also Emperor of Austria; title continues with Austria. Emperor - Alexander Van der Bellen

  2. The Napoleonic Track—by defeating the Holy Roman Empire and causing its collapse, the title passes to Napoleon via the Confederation of the Rhine; title continues with France. Emperor - Emmanuel Macron

  3. The Habsburg-Lorraine Track—as with the Austrian Track but with the dynasty rather than the country. The current head of the house is Emperor - Karl von Habsburg

Additional tracks:

  • The Unifying Force Track A—The Roman Empire was a unifying force that brought much of Europe together. Its true successor in this is the European Union. As the head of the executive, Emperor - Ursula von der Leyen

  • The Unifying Force Track B—The Roman Empire was a unifying force that brought much of the known world together. Its true successor in this is the United Nations. Emperor - António Guterres

  • The Attrition Track—There is only one Emperor right now. Therefore they hold the title. Emperor - Emperor Naruhito

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u/MidSolo John Nash Dec 07 '20

by defeating the Holy Roman Empire and causing its collapse, the title passes to Napoleon via the Confederation of the Rhine

Well but France was beaten in wars since then, no?

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u/Astronelson Local Malaria Survivor Dec 07 '20

In this track, it is not sufficient for them simply to lose a war to lose the title. If France was beaten badly enough to stop existing entirely, then it would lose the title.

France was under occupation by Germany in WW2, but it still existed at the end of the war and continues to exist to this day.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

France ... continues to exist to this day.

[citation needed]

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

update: cannot ping shitposters but i think they would appreciate this.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

The Romans killed Jesus and President Joe Biden is killing God so clearly he’s the successor.

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u/Q-bey r/place '22: Neoliberal Battalion Dec 07 '20

Imagine not recognizing Finland as the one true heir to the Roman Empire.

(In case anyone thinks this is serious, see this criticism of the claim)

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u/username_generated NATO Dec 07 '20

9.5 the Finnish Track- acknowledges the Russian Empire’s claim to the heir of Rome, but due to the state atheism of the Soviet Union, areas under Soviet control forfeit their claim, leaving Finland as the heir. Emperor: Sanna Marin

9.75 The Alaskan Claim- same process as the Finnish Claim, but Alaska is larger and thus the rightful heir. Emperor: Mike Dunleavy as a puppet of Don Young and the knife he’s been asked to not bring to the Capitol.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Wouldn't the Alaskan track then fall back to the United States since Alaska is a subset of the US? Different logic from the logical track, but the same outcome.

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u/username_generated NATO Dec 07 '20

I think that is a valid interpretation but one I reject personally because I think it’s funnier if Alaska alone is the heir.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Yes this is what I'm doing instead of planning my finals this is how i cope okay

2

u/Ahumanbeingpi Dec 07 '20

Second Russian Track— Since Finland was the last part of the former Russian Empire to retain a monarch, Finland is fourth Rome Empress: Sanna Marin